《The Good Crash: An Oral History of the Post-Scarcity Collapse》2. FREEDOM ALERT

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PART I

“There are decades where nothing happens, and there are weeks where decades happen."

- Vladimir Ilyich Lenin

FREEDOM ALERT

The following is a partial transcript of the MAY 6, 2027 broadcast of FREEDOM ALERT, a radio show broadcast from the home of right-wing pundit (and two-time Texas state representative) Jordan T. Bates.

The text has been edited for clarity and readability.

JORDAN T. BATES: Now folks, look. Here on the FREEDOM ALERT radio network, we don't like to talk about conspiracy theories. This is a show for people who want to know the truth.

We don't talk about "deep state" this or that. We just tell you the facts about the bad actors in our government—the unelected bureaucrats who think they run everything. You know—we don't talk about "chemtrails." Right?

But when the government is putting toxic stuff in your water, we cover it right here.

No conspiracies! Just facts.

And today... well. Today folks, we're bringing you some very disturbing facts.

Our next guest is the distinguished U.S. congressman from Colorado, Tucker Fredericks. Now, you all know Tucker if you're a regular listener to this program. Tucker is a patriot, and he's an honest man. He was a warrior on behalf of the last administration. Absolute killer. Former marine. Two Purple Hearts! We thank him for his service, and for being here today.

Tucker, you on the line?

TUCKER FREDERICKS: Yep. Thanks for having me, Jordan.

BATES: Pleasure as always. Now, Tucker. It's my understanding that there's a big story developing out there in the midwest. We've been hearing rumors about some sort of technological breakthrough. There's even been some talk that officials out there are trying to keep it hush-hush. What can you tell us about this?

FREDERICKS: Yessir. Well, there's definitely something going on out here. You know, these globalist politicians don't want people to know about it, but these machines are real.

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BATES: What machines?

FREDERICKS: It's a machine like you ain't never seen. This thing can make anything. Just POOF! Out of thin air. And they say it was developed at one of these west coast tech companies, you know, Silicon Valley types.

Personally, I don't think these people are smart enough to have made something like this on their own. I think DOD is involved. Probably the Department of Agriculture too. You know, I've got some contacts in these agencies and when I reach out to 'em I just can't get nothing out of 'em. They won't say nothing, an–

BATES: Now hold on Tucker, tell us about this machine. You're saying it can make anything out of thin air, and I think our listeners at home are sitting there going, "What in the hell is this man talking about?" So take some time to describe this thing for us.

FREDERICKS: Oh yeah, you betcha. Now, look, I'm no scientist, so I can't tell you the mechanics or… uh... physics underlying this technology. But it's basically like a real souped up 3D printer. You tell this thing you want you some chicken nuggets, and you hit a button, and presto, out comes nuggets.

BATES: It's a chicken nuggets maker?

FREDERICKS: No, no, that's just an example, Jordan. It can make anything. Nuggets, uh... beer... You just tell it what you want and it prints it right out.

BATES: Any kind of food?

FREDERICKS: Yeah. But more than just food. It can make gold. And iPhones. And just about anything you can fit in it. My guys told me they're hearing rumors about one of these machines that can make another one of the machines. Like it's a damned amoeba just splittin' in half and growin' new ones.

BATES: Now, Tucker you're a friend of the program, so I know I can be honest with you.

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FREDERICKS: Yessir.

BATES: Well I've got to say that this all sounds a little unbelievable. I mean, a machine that can make nuggets and beer and iPhones out of thin air? That's a very bold claim. And you know we don't do conspiracy talk on this show.

FREDERICKS: Oh I know, Jordan. It's no conspiracy, though. I know people who have seen these things with their own two eyes, and they've sworn to me it's real.

BATES: But you haven't seen this thing yourself, Tucker?

FREDERICKS: No... but– (coughs.) Look, these guys are honest, hard-working folks. Good ol' boys, you understand? Not the type to just make mess like this up. And this information is gonna start gettin' out there in a big way real soon.

BATES: Well how did these boys see this machine that you're talking about?

FREDERICKS: According to them, these machines ain't supposed to be out in the hands of the general public. And so there's some kind of federal operation underway to round these things up. The guys I was talking to are somehow involved with that operation.

BATES: Whoa, a federal search and seizure operation, huh? That's uh… well, if what you're saying is true, that'd make for quite the story.

FREDERICKS: It's true, Jordan, I'm sure of it. Just hang in there and see. I think we're gonna be hearing about these machines a lot more, in the coming days.

BATES: Alright, well Tucker, you know we always appreciate you coming on the show.

FREDERICKS: Thank you for having me, Jordan.

Bates clears his throat.

BATES: Well, folks. There you have it. To be totally frank, I have no idea what to make of that. Are, uh, coastal elites secretly makin' high-tech chicken nugget makers? And is there a federal operation under way to keep these things under wraps?

It does all sound a bit far-fetched, doesn't it?

Nobody can really tell you for sure about this stuff, but Tucker is a friend of the show and we thank him for coming on. We'll be sure to follow up on this story as it develops.

Next up, we've got some news coming out of Wisconsin. Have y'all seen this story about these communist professors in Wisconsin? Absolutely shocking, what these guys are doing with our kids. That's coming up after we pay some bills with a message from our sponsors.

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