So, I was right. This is Limbo.

“…what the fuck is a Spirit Advisor?”

There is a lot of interesting information and most of it doesn’t make sense. It’s in English but it feels like I’m just phonetically pronouncing some other language. The term Shifter shows up a lot. I turn back to the kid, obviously Rodney, but he looks like he saw a ghost and stole its complexion.

“You said you were killed by a wolf.”

“I was-”

“Don’t lie to me now, what good is that? It says a Shifter did it. It says you’re…” He gulps. “Undesirable.” He looks afraid to say the word.

I stare at him. This kid…he knows things. He could tell me what’s going on. Jackpot!

“Okay so maybe it wasn’t exactly a wolf…”

“But why does it say Casualty and not Murder, when you’ve clearly not Transitioned. You shouldn’t have been anywhere near a fight. It’s obvious you haven’t Shifted yet or you’d have known where we were… wait, how have you not gone through the Changing yet? You’re so old…” He’s crossed his arms and is watching me warily. “You’re not an Exile, are you?”

“Yeah…I don’t know what any of those funny words mean.”

“Not an Exile then. But how is this possible… How do you not know anything?”

“Why would a Normie know any this shit? You know information about Mutant Society is mostly on lockdown.”

“Normie?” He gapes at me. “Oh my god.” Then he rubs his chin with a distressed look on his face. “Even in this day and age there are still Lost Ones like you.” Now he’s pitying me. I know that look. “The people who killed you, did they uh, try to fix it?”

“You’re rambling and I don’t know what a Lost One is.”

I’m getting a ton of information all right, but none of it makes any sense. It’s like looking at next year’s math textbook in sixth grade and wondering why there’s suddenly letters in it. I lack a foundation necessary to understand the words. That’s why none of these papers on the information board make any sense either. Fuck.

“Right. Okay, uh, then the… wolf-person who killed you, did they uh, do anything?”

I give him a weird look. “Like, besides kill me?”

He brings his wrist to his mouth and makes fake chewing sounds. Nom nom nom.

“It wasn’t the wolf, it was the one who dragged me outside, but there may have been… something like that.”

“Jesus that’s brave.” He nods. “Okay then you aren’t actually dead.”

I look down at myself, then back at him, and raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘I’m not dead?’ I’m certainly not alive.”

“I mean you’re not permanently dead.” He turns and looks back at the bulletin board, his eyes darting around before landing on a specific page. Pretty sure that one is new. Also pretty sure I didn’t notice when it appeared. Spooky.

He stiffly nods at it so I take a look.

K a r a R o s e m a r y L o w e

Your presence is requested in the Spirit Chamber immediately

“Do they really have to use my middle name every time?” The only time anyone ever uses it is when I’m in trouble. Oh. I guess it makes sense to use it here. Never mind.

“I think it’s a lovely na-”

“Never mind! What does that mean?”

“Hm? Crap, yeah, uh, so every Shifter has to go through the Spirit Chamber at some point. It’s how the Bonding happens. The Spirit or Spirit Animal or whatever it is your race uses then leaves the Spirit World and connects to you through that Chamber.”

“Again, no clue what any of that means. Where do I go?”

He shakes his head. “The Chamber finds you.”

Wow. That’s not creepy at all.

“You say that like you’ve gone through this chamber place.”

“Of course I have, I’m thirteen.” He sighs. “You go through, typically, on your thirteenth birthday. Or as close to that as possible. You made it to fifteen without the Ceremony. It’s impressive.”

“Why would I-”

No never mind, the poor guy seems confused about something. Stupid Boy must have done something to me, when he was trying to save me, that made me sort of like him. Enough to mix this guy up. But I get the feeling I don’t have the time to explain everything.

He doesn’t seem to notice my half-question, or he chooses to ignore it. Instead, he points down the never-ending hallway.

“You should leave here. If the Advisors catch you, they’ll try and stop you.”

That doesn’t make sense.

“If I’m officially wanted somewhere, why would they try and stop me?”

“There’s… different departments. The Spirit Chamber belongs to- it doesn’t actually have authority here. It’s… complicated. The Advisors follow different rules. Different orders.”

“Would those ‘orders’ have anything to do with the Undesirable thingy?”

He grimaces. “That’s… it’s complicated.”

“Right.” His face is contorted. It seems difficult for him to look at me, but he obviously wants to tell me stuff but is afraid or something. Afraid of what? He’s dead. What can hurt him now?

I roll my eyes and look down the hall. It appears that I won’t get anything more out of this guy.

“The chamber finds you, huh? Guess I just need to walk around till it decides to pay me a visit?”

“Well, yeah, pretty much. I mean, you should think about why you want to find it.”

I could live. If I find this elusive room, I could live. That’s more than enough reason to go looking. I’m grinning and want to give Rodney a hug before I go, but he’s staring at the board. A sad look on his face. Then I remember. His murder, it says it’s unsolved. Maybe he thinks it won’t ever be.

“I’m sorry, I’m sure they’ll catch him.”

“No, they won’t.” He gives me a sad smile. “I wasn’t entirely honest with you either.”

“What do you m-?”

A terrible screech pierces my eardrums and cuts me off.

I swear I’m not overstating that; this sound causes actual physical pain in my ears. When I turn around to face the source, I see a creature out of some dark horrible myth.

Greek, I think.

It’s a woman, err- mostly, but with huge raven-like wings and feathers covering her body instead of clothes. Her legs and feet are large and just like a bird’s but covered in snake-like scales instead of skin. There are only black empty holes where her eyes should be. Judging from her appearance and vocal cords I’m guessing she’s supposed to be a Siren?

So, when they’re not luring sailors to their deaths, they’re bothering dead kids. They seem like a friendly bunch.

“Advisor!” Rodney jumps in front of me.

“That’s an Advisor? No wonder they tell you not to panic!” Seriously, what the hell?

“No, these are their Assistants, but this means an Advisor is nearby!”

“…my point still stands.”

“You have to run!” Rodney shouts. But I can’t. I’m scared frozen. It’s becoming a bad habit I never thought I’d have. So he turns and shoves me. “Find the Chamber. Get back.” I start to step away, backwards, further down the hallway- not daring to take my eyes off this Beast. “Live your life. And try to forgive them.”

I look at him. He keeps jumping in front of the creature, preventing it from moving forward. And he’s smiling at me. I can’t believe it. He knows he’s dead and gone, and here I am running off back to the land of the living and instead of hating me he’s grinning like an idiot.

And I can’t even say goodbye to this kid. I push away my guilt for the time being and take off in a mad dash down the hallway.

Behind me I hear the Spirit Advisor shriek again and I need to cover my ears, but that barely helps. She has some sort of sonic voice power or something.

Wow, okay, no big deal, I’m being chased by evil personified, and I need to find this Spirit Chamber thing which apparently shows itself whenever it damn well feels like it.

No biggie.

When the creature cries again it sounds a lot closer. It must have gotten past Rodney. I hope he’s okay. But I can’t think of him right now when I’m not even in a good position myself.

Alright, this is fine, no pressure. I’m just running down a never-ending hallway with a creepy nightmare with wings right behind me. I got this.

I start looking at the doors. They all have weird labels on them like “Dream Department” and “Department of Scribes” and “Genetic Anomaly Research Department” and “Storage.” What would they need storage for? Anyway. One of these must eventually say “Spirit Chamber,” right?

“Dream Directory.” “Vision Center.” “Museum of Lost Things.” “The Unwritten Library.” Who comes up with this stuff? Are these rooms even real things? “Ether Facilities.” “Limbo Breakroom.” CREATURE!

I skid to a stop. Somehow the advisor lady is ahead of me. How did she do that? I panic and look to my left. “Stairs.” Hah!

I lunge for the door and the Beast lady lunges at me.

I get through in time to slam the door on her wing. I hear a crack and a shriek, and I almost throw up. I just broke someone’s bones.

And I’m in a stairwell. A never-ending stairwell. I choose to go down because these kinda sports aren’t my thing. Okay, okay. It’s easier and I’m lazy. That’s the real answer. Happy?

I take two, three steps at a time and grab the railing to pivot myself around the corners.

Above me the Advisor’s assistant is having a tough time. She keeps wailing and crashing into the walls. These kinda sports must not be her thing either.

Or I really did break her wing. I hear the horrible cracking sound in my head again and swallow hard. Ugh.

No. I hope that bitch’s wing is broken. Trying to keep me dead and shit. Annoying.

There are doors at every level here too. Each with their own absurd purposes. But still no Spirit Chamber. God, why are there so many useless and obviously fake rooms but no bathrooms, anyway?

“Dammit, Spirit Chamber.” I yell at the door to the “Boiler Room,” or so it says. “If my presence is so damn requested, then maybe a map would have been helpful!”

Then, shaking. Not me. Building. Or whatever this place is. Limbo is shaking.

Can Limbo get earthquakes?

I grab the railing to keep from being knocked down the stairs to my second death.

A loud cry from above almost causes me to freak out, when the Spirit Advisor falls through the air right in front of me. Down the center of all the stairs. I don’t hear her hit anything, so either this stairway really doesn’t end, or Limbo has got a shit ton of floors.

The quake stops and I find my balance again, moving forward at a normal pace now that I’m not being pursued. Already I’m out of breath and my heart is pounding.

When I reach the next level there it is: “Spirit Chamber.”

Huh. And Mom says cussing never gets results.

The door opens fully when I barely touch the handle, another movie cliché.

Inside the room is black. Not dark, but black. All light outside, all dark inside. There’s a metaphor here somewhere I’m missing. After all that white the darkness is a relief to the eyes, so I go in despite this being a bad idea in most movies.

The door slams shut behind me. I didn’t even touch it that time.

Ahead there’s the sound of running water, and a faint breeze grazes my face. I hold my hand up in front of my face and I can’t see it. If I couldn’t feel it, I wouldn’t know it was there. That’s how black it is in here. And the air is thick. Humid. Am I even still inside a building?

“Welcome, Kara Rosemary Lowe.”

A woman’s voice, but it sounds slightly robotic. Like the automated greetings and option menus you get when you call some places. But there’s a sense of liveliness to it. I’m guessing it must be one of those fancy new AI’s. Artificial Intelligence has gone a long way the past ten years. Or so I’ve heard.

It’s also quiet. Like they didn’t calibrate the volume well. Or it’s coming from fat away? Anyway, I can barely hear it over the water. But how could there be running water in a building?

“Um, thanks. You don’t have to use the whole name though, you know.” The woman doesn’t respond, and I still can’t see anything. “Is there a light or-”

“Appropriate Presence Detected… Target Verified. Initiating Chamber Protocol 107. Step forward, please, and be judged.”

Judged? What does she mean, judged? Am I going to hell after all?

“No Movement Detected. Step forward, please, and be judged.”

“Alright, okay. Jeez.” I take a step, but nothing happens.

“Step forward, please, a-”

“Stepping, I’m stepping!”

“-nd be judged.”

I take a few more and figure out where the water is when a vertical river lights up in the center of the room. Wait, it’s not a real river. Just like everything else today this one is odd. It sounds and acts like a river, but it’s more like a pillar of something…wispy, and, well, kind of spirit-like. Not a great explanation but that’s the only one that fits. It’s certainly otherworldly.

“Appropriate Distance Acquired. You must enter the Spirit Core.”

“You want me to step into that thing? You’re nuts.” That…whatever it is, is radiating some killer energy of some kind. That’s what this wind is. I don’t know how I know that, considering I can’t Sense in this place, but I do. Instincts don’t disappear when you die, apparently.

“No Movement Detected. You must enter the Spirit Core.”

Oh great, not this again. Her voice is unsettling when she repeats stuff. “Why?”

“Question Is …Allowed. Answer Given: Target’s Mortal Soul and Original Spirit have passed on. A new Spirit must be granted for life continuation.”

“This thing is going to give me a new soul? How is that possible?”

“Question is… Invalid. No Answer Given. Question is… Disallowed. No Answer Given. You must enter the Spirit Core.”

Invalid? Oh, right she said Spirit and I said Soul. Guess those words aren’t as interchangeable as I thought. As for Disallowed, guess I don’t have the clearance to know about their super secret spirit tech. That’s fair. But the point is that this thing should give me a new Spirit. Is that why Limbo Kid, err- Rodney, said I could live? I just need a new Spirit? Will that new spirit fill the emptiness I’ve been feeling?

Uh, wait, what if the new spirit takes over my body? Wouldn’t that be no better than being dead?

“Am I allowed to refuse?”

“Question is… Allowed. Answer Given: Affirmative. Target is allowed to die.”

Allowed… to die. How succinct.

“Does Target Wish to Terminate Protocol 107?”

“No! No, I was just curious ahahah.” FUCK NO. I wanna live, please. If the Spirit tries to take over… I’ll deal with that when the time comes.

“Answer… Understood. Target will Proceed. You must enter the Spirit Core.”

Ugh. Her stupid voice is so spooky. I move forward again before she can finish creeping me out.

The closer I get to the pillar of, uh…I guess it’s like pure Spirit Energy? The stronger the wind becomes. When I’m a few feet away it feels like I’m fighting a hurricane and I can barely move an inch forward at a time. It ends up pushing me backwards and I land on my ass. Ow, dammit.

“Try again.”

“I did try, the wind, energy, whatever stuff is too strong!” And my ass really hurts. Is just getting into it the actual test for judgment? Because that would make sense.

“Try again.”

I pull myself off the floor. Come on Kara, iRobot Chick is right. There’s no new life without a soul. Err- Spirit, I mean. That’s gonna get weird to get used to. If it’s the Spirit that keeps you alive then what the hell does the Soul do? Do souls even exist?

I clench my jaw until it’s sore and push through it again. This time I get closer, so I reach out my hand to touch it. I barely graze it, but wow. Feathers and silk. It’s so soft. And warm. This is like what I felt when the cougar was looking at me. It’s so nice.

The moment my flesh makes contact I feel it latch on. I no longer feel like I’ll blow away and it’s easier to step all the way into…whatever it is. I should be wet now or something right? But the pillar is dry and warm, and I can breathe without breathing this spirit stuff in.

How mystical.

“Is something supposed to happen n-ow!” My body is suddenly jerked tight and becomes rock hard. I can’t move a muscle. Like a full body charlie-horse. It’s reminiscent of Stupid Boy David and his hijinks, except this time nothing can move. And it hurts. “Nnnngh!”

“Focus, Kara Rosemary Lowe.”

“Nnn-Argh-On what!?” All I want is for this to stop. I’m dead so why do I keep feeling pain? “And just Kara is fine!”

“Question is… Allowed. Answer Given: What is your Spirit-”

“How the fuck should I know that? Shouldn’t that be your job?”

“-Who are you? What Spirit would Bond?”

Who am I? My spirit? What is this garbage? I’m fifteen I shouldn’t have to know this crap yet. That’s adult stuff. Or for Facebook quizzes.

“Focus, or you will fail.”

Fuck that. I don’t fail. I mean I’ve failed classes, but not the important things like monopoly and spirit pillar nonsense. That won’t be said about me.

But I don’t really know who I am.

Despite the pain a laugh escapes my lips. I died and I never even really knew myself. I wanted adventure, and when it happened, I ran away. I wanted love and when I had the perfect man, I ran away. I always wanted real friends, but when I found them, I would have dropped them in a second to run away.

I’m a deserter. And a hypocrite. And a coward.

And once I make these keen observations I’m then forcibly ejected from the pillar of light and I land on my face. “Ow, rude. I have a wound, you know. Some delicacy would be nice?” I push myself onto my hands and knees, but I don’t have the heart to stand.

It’s taking all the energy I have left to just not cry.

Great, if this was a judgement I’ve obviously failed. Cowards don’t get free spirits.

“Congratulations Kara Rosemary Lowe. Calibration Successful.”

“What now?” Congrats? “And seriously, the middle name isn’t necessary.”

“The Spirit Council has decided: You have earned the right to live.”

The voice is cheerful, but the message is kinda scary.

It means the opposite could have been, and if I’m being honest, should have been true. And then what would’ve happened? I get electrocuted by spirit energy or something?

Best not to think about that.

“Spirit for Target has been Decided… Spirit for Target has been Verified… Spirit for Target has been Cleansed… Beginning Initiation of Transfer Sequence 4, Bond Typing 13.”

“Um, right, so how does this transfer thing work then?” I sniffle and find the energy to get up.

In answer, a sound fills the room. It reminds me of the trumpet in the alley, the one I guess I mistook for a police siren. I guess Shifter peeps like their trumpets.

Unlike the trumpeting from earlier that wouldn’t die out no matter what, though, this one stops suddenly. Abruptly. I get another weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Something has gone wrong again, hasn’t it?

Silence. Uh okay. Seems things are going well up there. Maybe I was wrong.

“- Ë̷̢̱̜͎̥͒̀͘͠R̶̳̥̬̾R̸͇̈̊̂͝͝O̵̞̤̳̩̫̊͐͑̚R̶͓̝̈́̅͐̓̕ -”

Tsk! An annoying, grating noise fills my ears. It sounds like nails on a chalkboard, with a single barely audible word accompanying it, the syllables oddly spaced out. Error.

“Anomaly Detected... Attempting Removal… Removal Failed.”

“- Ę̷̭̪͓̲͛̒́͐R̷̤͓̿R̶̼̽͑ͅO̶̝̳͕͂͛̾̂Ŕ̷͖̮ -”

“Illegal Infiltration Detected… Attempting Neutralization… Neutralization Failed.”

“Attempting Verification… Verification Failed. Infiltrator’s Identity Unknown. Terminating Protocol 107-”

“- Ë̶͖͕̲͚̋͛̈͆̈́̌̀Ȓ̶̢̺̲̻͓̞̥̩̳̦R̶̡̼̪̲͚̖͘Ọ̴̢̞̫̲̖̹̘͇͙͍͆͑́̋̋̃͊̋͠R̷̡̪͚̥̬̿̇̊́͒̂̌̍͛͛̑͠ -”

“Termination Failed.”

…Fuck, I was right again.

Why does everything involving me always go wrong? And why do I have to be right about everything?

“Control… Compromised… Attempting Shut Down Protocol 1-”

“- E̴̗̊R̵͎͇̞̠͋͜R̷̬̪̭͎͒͘O̴̗̍̐̆̀̕R̶̗͌̒͝ -”

“Shut Down… Failed…”

More silence. And it’s then that I notice a strand of whatever that pretend river thing is separate part of itself from the pillar and start moving through the air. A pure white string. It takes me a minute too long to realize it’s coming towards me.

Five years of self defence classes and I still really need better reflexes.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, what’s happening, what is this?”

I scramble backwards and look around. Crap I didn’t think I’d end up missing the creepy voice. Where is the door again?

“What is that pillar doing? Hello?” Did the AI die?

I back away blindly until my back is against a wall. The strand of spirit energy is still coming for me.

“I don’t like this! Make it stop, oh god…” I slide along the wall, but that stuff is right in front of my face now. Where’s the iRobot Chick and her answers now? Who’s the infiltrator? What the fuck is happening?

The energy stabs itself into my head, right between my eyes, and my vision turns white. My brain is on fire. I can feel this white thread weaving itself inside my head filling it until I feel like it will burst- no, split open.

Despite all of that, for some reason there’s no pain.

I say that nicely, and I’d like to say I handled it gracefully, but I can no longer breathe, so I fall to my knees as this never-ending line of stuff barrels into me. It doesn’t hurt even though it probably should. But it’s uncomfortable to the max. And scary. What if my head really breaks? My skull was made to fit my brain not all this stringy spirit bullshit!

I’m panicking about not breathing but that doesn’t seem to matter. It seems to take a long time but most likely didn’t, and boy am I glad when its over.

I also cough a lot.

“Spirit for Target has been Dispersed.”

Hm? The voice doesn’t seem to be concerned that this was most likely not the right Spirit. They just let an unknown thing invade me and they’re shrugging it off? Or did the infiltrator make it forget?

…could it make me forget, too, please?

“What did you do to me?” I feel strange, but I can’t pinpoint how or why.

“Question is… Allowed. Answer Given: Your new Spirit has been Dispersed to you. Target may now return.”

“Yeah? And how exactly do I get back?” Last time I checked I don’t own any ruby slippers.

As if in answer I’m suddenly in pain again. My chest, something is stabbing my heart. “Ugh!” I clutch it as I fall back to the floor, my face kissing the cold stone.

A million tiny needles are stabbing me and- “Ahahooow!”

Every time the invisible force stabs me my body shakes violently, and the black room fades a little more. Well, as much as black can fade. “Oww… oh god.” What’s happening? Did I fail after all? Then how do I get back home? I want to go home.

The door I couldn’t find before bursts open with a sudden gust of different air and bright white light just when the room is almost gone. And the Advisor’s assistant, that annoying Siren freak, runs in. Towards me.

I know it’s the same one because her one wing is at an odd angle and dripping blood. Hah, serves you right.

The creature is running at me and screeching like a banshee. I black out just before it reaches me.

Small mercies, I guess.

~*~

“Clear!”

Something is beeping in my ear.

“Let’s try it again. One Two Three… Clear!”

The ground is bouncy. I’m in a vehicle or something, and we must be going fast and- Ow! Something is still piercing my heart. No, no not piercing…jolting. It was jolting.

And now I’m coughing.

“She’s back, fellas!”

Someone is clapping. I’m coughing my lungs out and people are clapping. Like I’m a baby that finally spit up.

Trying to gauge my surrounding is difficult because somehow someone managed to capture the sun and hang it on the ceiling. Still, it’s clear I’m in an ambulance and strapped to a gurney.

Oh right, that makes sense. I did die after all.

These people cut open my shirt and my bra is exposed, but that doesn’t seem that important right now. My flesh is still a weird mix of cold and hot where the crash paddles had been placed. And my throat hurts so bad.

When I try to touch it the lady who was holding the crash paddles grabs my hand and shakes her head.

“Don’t touch that, honey. I bandaged it for you, and they’ll be able to stich you up at the hospital.”

“Stich me…?” My voice sounds like they bandaged my throat with sandpaper. But hey, I can talk now.

“Shh, try not to talk either, love.” The paddle lady smiles at me. There’s a gap in her front teeth but other than that she’s kind of pretty. “Yes, you’re lucky that the cut wasn’t any deeper. But you still lost a lot of blood. We’ll have to fill you up proper when we get there.”

She makes me sound like I’m a freaking truck or something. And not any deeper? But I felt it. The cut went clean through. That wasn’t something some stitches could fix. It was deep as hell, and I couldn’t even talk before. What is going on?

“You’re lucky that your boss found you when he did.”

Oh no, my boss. I walked right off a shift. I got blood on the new brick overlay. I ruined my uniform… I’m so fired. “Oh god…”

The lady taps her finger to her mouth, reminding me not to talk, and then laughs like she has a clue. “Your boss wasn’t very happy that you walked off your shift.” She looks serious. “He said he left you at the till, and when he got back, he didn’t know where you were.”

She’s looking at me like I should have a logical explanation for leaving my job to go get knifed in an alley. And what the hell, I thought I wasn’t supposed to talk? I look away.

On the other side is a guy who looks more geek than doctor who’s looking at a small screen, monitoring my heartbeat. As well as a couple other things that I don’t know what they are. A pulse monitor? Do I even have enough blood to measure? I shouldn’t, logically.

He’s got those thick, round, glasses that make your eyes look big and comical. I can’t help but smile a bit.

“Don’t stress her out, Livna.” He says. “Her specs are rising. For all we know she had no choice in the matter. She was attacked, after all.”

I like this guy.

“Please leave the interrogatin’ to me.” There’s someone else in here. His gruff voice gives me chills. “You two just focus on keepin’ her stable.” He sounds Scottish. I usually like that accent, but his voice frightens me.

He’s not in my limited line of vision and I can’t sit up. I can barely move except for my one arm that almost tore my sandpaper bandages off. My other arm seems to be on some sort of splint. But for some reason I want to get up. I want to get out of here. Now.

“Her pulse is getting too high, calm her down.”

“Wh-who is there…?”

I hear the beeping sound coming from the machine beside me go haywire and suddenly I can’t breathe. I have never been so immediately terrified of someone in my entire life and I can’t even see him. I didn’t even react to this extent with that weird Monk Wizard. He scares me even more than that Mr. Spencer does.

Seriously, who else is here and what does he want? To interrogate me? Is it the police? What the fuck can I say? That I got mauled by what? No one will believe me. Not out loud. They’re not supposed to. In fact, if I tell the truth to someone like a fucking cop it’ll go way worse than just telling my friends and that shrink. They could lock me up in a mental asylum for this. That would be the perfect way to get rid of me.

Oh my god. I have to lie. I have to lie to a fucking cop.

And right on cue the blackness swallows everything again.

I’m going to hell…