I like to think I’m a good person. I think most people do. Of course, most people didn’t believe in Santa Clause until they were 10. What I’m saying is, people will believe a lot of things, including things about themselves, that aren’t necessarily true. You didn’t need me to tell you that though, just go literally anywhere online and that point will prove itself.

So maybe I am or maybe I’m not a good person, but what about people in general? Am I an exception or am I the rule? What about you? I know you won’t answer, you never do, but I’ll ask anyway: Do you think people are inherently good? Bad? Or are we something somewhere in between? What is our base nature, the core we’re all born with? And when does it start to change? Does it ever really change? Can people change?

Some say this isn’t a fair question, and we shouldn’t force everyone under the same umbrella, even if we do share the same sky. And maybe we can’t determine an entire species’ nature in one go. It could be, at most, a case of averages and outliers.

But that theory just opens a whole can of worms and only serves to further divide us. Nowadays just lumping us all together as one species alone is enough to annoy a whole lot of people, Shifters, Variants, or us Wisewomen, and Wisemen. Well my mom says I'm more of a wise guy but that's whatever. I prefer the more simple Sapiens, it's not fancy or special but it's gender neutral, and straight and to the point. Alternatively, we could just go with a nice modern Normie.

I think it’s all dumb. Whether Homo Sapiens, Homo Subcinctus, or Homo Variari, we’re all Homos. And don’t go there with the gay jokes, homo means man. Human. We’re all human.

Anyway, surely there’s a proper answer to this? Someone must know.

Are we born a pure white that blackens with age? Are people born a neutral grey and are swayed by their experiences and choices? Or are we born black and cold, and only a proper upbringing can save us from ourselves?

Grandma’s Church highly favours the latter theory. I think it’s ridiculous there’s still churches 100+ years after The Bubble Burst. Kinda hard to come back from that. Get with the times.

There are certainly many opinions on both sides of the scale, that’s for sure. And far greater minds than mine have slaved over this question. And they can keep slaving away. I don’t really care for their opinion, anyhow.

As for what I believe? Well, it’s not that difficult to figure out, really. Good and bad is relative, first of all. What is good for one will be bad for another. No matter how we’re born, there is never any black and white in this world. Good, bad, heads, tails, they’re just two sides of the same coin. In the end, they’re still the same currency. And if goodness truly is relative then that means it’s decided in the moment. Which is a good thing for me.

But that still begs the question, what are we?

We all came from stardust. So that must be where our nature comes from, too. See? It’s not as complicated as philosophers make it sound. We are the universe’s children, and the universe is unbridled, unfathomable, and unrepentant in its anarchic (dis)order.

We are chaos.

Black, white, or grey, we are all chaotic. That is being human. And we are all human- Shifters, Variants and Normals alike. Fight me.

Honestly, I think what it boils down to is a person’s choice. Do we want to be chaotic good, chaotic evil, or chaotic neutral? I know you’ve seen the memes. There aren’t any other options, so pick a side and get going. The earth isn’t going to spin a little slower while you make up your mind like you’re still figuring out your Timmy’s order when you’re already at the front of the line. Don’t be that guy.

What would be your choice? I like to think I’m a pretty good person, I make mostly good choices every day. Sometimes on purpose. I mean, most people don’t wake up in the morning and think, man today is a great day for murder. Like who does that? On the other side, most folks aren’t going to get up and decide they’re going to donate their retirement to an orphanage. Nobody is doing that either. Partially because no one has a retirement these days. I know mom doesn’t. But in all seriousness, I think most people wake up and just wanna go back to sleep, ya know? Yeah, you know.

So I might not be a villain or a hero, but pretty good is pretty good, right? I think I’m a healthily average person. Even above average by my fellow high schoolers’ standards. I’m looking at you, Frida. I haven’t forgotten the taco incident. Both me and God know what you did.

Anyways, I work hard to be this way. I give spare change to the homeless, feed strays, and only cheat my way onto the train if I forget my passbook. I definitely pay when I remember it. Frida ‘forgets’ hers every day, while I pay more than I don’t. That’s alright considering the competition. Hell, I even paid her fare once before, so I can add charity for the mentally disadvantaged to my list. I’m much better than the average citizen.

Unfortunately, it only takes one slow walking person in the hallway to shatter the illusion that I’m a good person.

Today the slow fucker that dared dull my delusion is… what was this guy’s name again? Ben? Ron? No, Ronnie does drugs. It’s An something-

“Bryan! Yooooo what’s up my man?”

Ah. Mr. Molasses is named Bryan. And it seems that our sloth has many sloth friends. How quaint. These guys’ fat arses have successfully blocked my retreat route. How infuriating.

If I didn’t happen to know Chayla has exactly four friends, I would think they planned this together. Their blockade is perfect. This is just great. Now I have’ta decide if I want to be a good person or be myself. So much for philosophy.

Hey Bryan, when Coach told you to move up a weight class he wasn’t talking about your ass.

No.

I’m a good person. I’m a good person. No violence today, cause I’m a good-

Would it be wrong of me to body check this dingbat into that open locker? Just a little? It’s like it was made for him. Double sized.

Yeah. No. Probably bad. But it would be suitably chaotic. I can’t help it, I’m only human.

Oh look, this fucker has an even slower gear available, he must have upgraded his ass at the chub consortium. Just in time to ruin my day. And my escape plans.

Sigh. He isn’t even that fat. It’s all that quarterback bulk. But right now, that bulk isn’t winning any games, it is inconveniencing me and hence it has been downgraded to fat. You have lost your bulk privileges.

Not that he ever wins any games even when it is in bulk status. That’s why you were benched, dumbass.

Ugh. Fucking. Moooove. A person’s body is supposed to move faster than their brain cells. Apparently these guys didn’t get the memo. If that’s the case then they’re all no more than two concussions away from walking backwards.

What the fuck do I do? I can’t get caught again. There’s only so many times I can go in circles telling these idiots the truth, them telling me their truth which is wrong, before I correct their unfortunate selves, over and over, before I lose my mind. I mean, lose more of my mind. I’m aware I’m abnormal, that isn’t what we should be discussing but boy do they sure like to talk about it.

If Chayla catches wind of what I’m planning then she’ll rat me out to my mom, who will rat me out to my ‘Ther.A.Piss.’ I won’t be able to get the evidence. I’m so close. Or rather the cougar is so close. We’ll get into that later. Or not, you might be the cougar which means you already know everything. If that’s the case it would be real great if you’d talk back once in a while. Would make me feel a little less nuts.

Not that it’s normal to think cats can talk. I’m a Normal but I’m not normal.

Okay yeah that’s cool keep silent. I’m probably not ready for a talking cat anyways hahaha… hah…

Back on track, that cougar is going to be within the Boundary tonight, I can feel it. If I can prove that this cat is really taking over my mind and body, then there won’t be anything more my mom can say.

I mean, there will be more she can and will say but there will be less. I think. She’ll have to at least listen for once, instead of going on and on about all the drugs I need.

Not the fun drugs, either. Che, they’re just trying to lull me into complacency.

And I doubt I’ll get any super substantial evidence. I’m just hoping for enough to have a proper conversation. If I’m being honest, it’s more that I need the evidence for myself. I have’ta prove to myself that I’m not crazy. Cause being crazy would super suck.

But if this moron doesn’t hurry up, I’m going to get caught. Why? Why are you talking to every fucking person you pass by, do you think they like you? Do you think anybody likes you? Nobody likes you, Bryan, they don’t even know your name. If you would just shift your fat just a little bit to the left, I could-

Argh. Son of a whore’s father. Inconsiderate trash. Walking slower won’t extend the amount of time you have left here. Two more years and regardless of anything you do you will graduate. And then you will die the man who peaked in high school. Fate won’t change just because you decided to piss me off today. I’m not that powerful. Fuck you.

Damn it. Why did it have to make a move tonight? Why couldn’t that stupid, mind-controlling cat come tomorrow? How I wish the cycles I predicted were wrong… but I’m never wrong with the paranormal shit. I’m pretty good at philosophy shit too.

Oh, why? Why can’t anything go wrong in my favour? Just once? Is that so hard? This is the worst possible outcome for a Friday. I was able to escape every day so far because of the timing, but on Fridays Chayla has a free last block. She’s probably already scouting out my locker. Actually, she’s probably been scouting it the whole hour block she had off. Shit. That was why I took everything I needed for the weekend out at lunch and I’ve been lugging my whole backpack with me for three whole blocks. Three fucking blocks. All for nothing! I even ate lunch in the east stairwell. Better than eating in the girls’ bathroom but my sweater still smells like mildew.

I should probably report that.

No. Mold isn’t the point! The point is this slow sack of dung and his dung beetle buddies are going to make my sufferings and preparations all for nought! Today is too important. If my instincts and careful calculations are right, and they usually are, then considering its trajectory so far then tonight is the night that-

Ugh. How did he become slower!? Oh god, he’s not even moving anymore. Is this fucker doing this on purpose? Why does god have to test me so, he already knows I’ll fail, why bother? Why are you bothering me?

Dammit. She’s definitely heard about my last escape attempt- err, my last investigation- by now, considering it ended in a police report.

Just my luck I had to choose a best friend whose dad works for the po.

Skeevy snitch. Argh. I even baked him cookies. Once. And they weren’t very good. I forgot there's a difference between baking soda and baking powder. But cookies are cookies. Who betrays someone after they baked them cookies? Non-Sapient Beasts, aka Monsters that’s who. Fucking NSB’s, the lot of them. The whole station is corrupt, I’m telling you. Them and their coyotes. What kind of legit task force trains coyotes? Why is there even a curfew task force? Why not just raise a big ass banner and shout, “we are an illegal bubble!” And then arrest yourselves. Fuckers.

And fuck my mom for calling them in the first place. Talk about a spaz. It was only two hours past curfew and it’s not like I knew that. It’s the trees’ fault. I know I sound insane but it’s true. They did this to me. They stole two hours of my life. The next ash tree I pass by is losing twenty branches. You get what you give times ten, bitches. It’s your fault for giving me shit. You could have given me fruit or even just let me leave but you had to make this difficult for yourself.

Forget the branches. Next ash tree’s getting torched. I should just burn them all down- Ah… but considering my history with fire that would be a bit, well, ugh. It was a stupid fire that brought me to this dump of a city in the first place. That fire wasn’t my fault either. I am the victim in all this.

And now they’re trying to send me back to that quack. I’ve been dodging their ‘interventions’ for weeks now. Like therapy can change the fact that I know we’re living in an unmarked, and hence illegal Bubble. You can’t just place an entire city inside a Bubble, bottle it up, and not tell anyone. You can’t go around making Pocket Dimensions willy-nilly. This isn’t Polly Pocket. That… that was the whole point of the wars? They all had to be popped, err- opened up, metaphorically speaking, and marked. And every old Breach had to be listed, and new ones added to this list. They can control who enters but not who leaves. The Transparency Act. We learned this in 8th Grade Social Studies. Well, at least I did. I dunno what the people in this dump are learning. Certainly not laws.

So I’m being held illegally in an unmarked Bubble, glad you’re up to speed. I’ve been a prisoner for two whole years. And nobody believes me. They’re all trying to silence me. Which means they’re either too stupid to save, or they’re all in on it. Everyone is in on it. Or most of them. Who knows how deep this goes, it’s not like I’m important.

It was mom who dragged me here in the first place, and now we can’t leave because we’ve seen too much. Well, I have anyway, mom is oblivious as always. Completely in denial. She refuses to believe that her precious hometown could be illegal.

Fuck this place. And fuck Bryan. No you did not just stop again to talk to that chick, you moron. Look in a mirror sometime by god, there’s no way she’s interested and that is a polite smile you jack-off, now keep moving. Go on, git.

It won’t take Chayla long to figure out I’m not going to stop by my locker today. These slow shits are giving her enough time to catch up. It’s all a conspiracy, I swear. Why is it that everything involving me always goes wrong? Which god have I offended? I’m so sorry and fuck you, get over it.

I need to get out of here before-

“Kara! There you- oof! -Hey Kara wait up!”

Before that happens.

Shit on my ancestors. How is someone that small so fucking fast? I even chose the south exit furthest from my locker zone. Fucking Bryan, this is all your fault, you. Slow. Fuck.

She’s still far on the other side of the hallway, thank god. No wait, I’m displeased with god today. Forget that. Still, how can someone that small even see me? I need to disappear. Fast.

My past socialization will actually see some use today. Time to use my reputation.

With a fake smile on my face my grip on my tormentor’s shoulder has much more force than a friend would use. Cause we ain’t friends. Aha, so now you notice me, plebian.

“Ow wha- oh uh hi? Kara can you lessen your gr- Ow! Okay uh, what can I do for you-ou-ou?”

Aww, he’s trying to smile just as much as I am. Stealing a few nervous looks back at his hopeless crush on the side. That’s right, sweat you pig. His previous interaction with her proved he can’t distinguish real smiles from others. That’s good for me. Not good for him. See? Philosophy. Heh, just because no one knows your name, bench-warmer, doesn’t mean no one knows mine.

What? I never said it was a good reputation. The greatest people are often misunderstood and misrepresented during their time.

Let’s move things along.

“Are you having a lot of fun?”

“What is your problem-”

“Shut it, dung beetles.”

Tsk. The sloth friends have found some pointless courage and are fumbling to save their brethren. But the crouching tiger has already caught its prey.

“Do you think you shits own the intersection?”

A tiny, miniscule, spark of intelligence very briefly shines in their eyes.

“Oh uh I didn’t know we were-”

Since I’m speaking to a lower life-form with diminished intellectual capacity, I change my voice to show as such. Wouldn’t want to confuse anyone. I’ll make it as sweet as possible. That along with my winning smile should get my point across.

“Just because you guys have nothing important going on doesn’t mean everyone else’s lives revolve around this hallway. And just because there’s nothing waiting for you outside these doors doesn’t mean other people wish they could have a sleepover with their gym shorts in their lockers, got it?”

“Sorry I didn’t know we-”

Time to wrap this up. I can feel Chayla’s annoying aura getting closer. Like, not literally, I just know. I don’t even know if there’s a Shifter that can see auras. Maybe a Variant? Probably exists. Not like Shifter shit has anything to do with me.

Maybe.

I’ll find out tonight.

Probably.

If this fucker and his fucky friends can fuck off.

Yeah. My patience just ran out. There goes the whole week’s stock. Blast.

“Are you going to move your body aside or are you waiting for me to do it for you?”

“Y-yeah if you let me go I can-”

I graciously let go, he grabs his shoulder and slouches off the side like the little shit he is. Order and balance are restored. Everybody wins.

And I take off like a bullet.

My path ahead is made much easier now that traffic stalled while the people admired my spectacle. And with the sloth boys used as an example, no one else feels like getting in my way now. I should’a lost my shit earlier.

I don’t feel too bad about it. After all, Grandma says that sloth is a sin. So those idiots were sins against humanity. What I did can be considered a moral path correction for them, a saving of souls. There’s my good deed for the day.

The last thing I hear as I round the corner is Bryan claiming his shoulder is bruised- che, as if -and whining “why didn’t you tell me she was behind me?”

Boo hoo. Poor Bryan. This could all have been avoided if you had more observant friends. Or if you hadn’t met me.

Humans aren’t inherently good or evil. The only aspect humanity shares is chaos.

And I am as human as can be.

A human who is finally, finally, free!