Ragnarök Delayed

The first arc

Si Deus nobiscum quis contra nos

Chapter 001

My new family and all the reasons why I won't like them

… and the only thing left around me is darkness.

I can’t see anything. I can’t feel anything. I don’t even know whether or not I am at all… It’s weird and annoying. It’s not like anything I ever experienced. I don’t even know if time passes. Maybe something went wrong and that ink stain of a Trespasser jettisoned my soul out of existence? I hope not, that sounds like a ‘Worse Than Death’ type of ending… I’d prefer to avoid slowly giving in to insanity while being unable to die. No… I’m overreacting. I think. Urgh, trying NOT to be nervous only makes me more nervous.

Suddenly, after a short moment or a whole millennium, I feel numb. But unlike the usual kind of numbness… it is cast upon my mind. I can’t think very well. I feel like I’m slowing down. It’s hard… to form thought. It’s like… If my will has to make its way through a layer of honey… thicker and denser and…

It’s gone. Nothing stops me nor slows me down. But time is getting painful. Seconds… the very sense of passing time, second after second spreads through me. It’s happening faster than it should… hours passing like moments and yet I can feel every second as a separate experience. It’s too much, too fast, too many… It hurts.

And it stops. The pain transforms into stillness. And it’s cold. So very cold…

I feel numb and cold, and… blind?

It’s not dark anymore, but when it was at least I understood what was going on. Now the darkness has been replaced with blinding light. Wait, not just that… everything is also blurry as hell. Oh, right… I’m an infant now. I should have expected something like that – blurry vision, bright light, silhouettes of grownups all around me.

I guess the main attraction – my birth – is already over. At the very least I didn’t have to experience my new mother's vagina from the inside. That would have been disturbing. I can hear… noises. Or… is that someone’s voice? I think there’s a conversation going on but I can’t make any sense of it. And not just because it’s in a foreign language… I also can’t clearly hear. I hope it’s only temporary. Once again I’m getting increasingly nervous. And it’s all that bastard’s fault. I’m not only talking about the fact that he kidnapped me into this world… all that ‘reincarnation’ business really needs an instruction book. Or an FAQ section sometime between neverending darkness and that part when time hurts, describing what exactly is going to happen and when I should start panicking. Grrr…

What’s done is done I guess? I’ve been kidnaped and forcefully reincarnated as a child possessing (and eventually devouring from the inside of it’s mind) pretender to be this world’s next Demon Lord… That’s an actual ‘what the fuck moment’ if I ever had one. My abductor gave me no choice in that matter. I feel pity for the kid but… it’s not like I can do anything. I can’t even strangle myself since, apart from the fact that it would be seriously physically challenging with a body of an infant, I would just kill the child with me. And I can’t do anything in that black nothingness I can only think for Christ’s sake! And I wouldn’t even know how to think myself to death… All of this is just another point added to my Why I Hate That Bastard list!

Darkness… again. Probably the owner of that body didn’t like it here, or wherever he went when I was in charge, and threw me out.

Don’t get me wrong. I understand him completely. This place, if it can even be called that, is awful. The experience of not having a body is quite frankly the worst ever. I can’t feel anything because there’s nothing for me to feel with. It’s not like sleeping, nor paralysis. The only thing for me to do is thinking. And being alone with thoughts is never good.

Right now I should probably feel something like ‘yay, I’m not dead and I’m in a fantasy world’. Instead I can only think about various ways in which I’m going to mutilate that FUCKING BASTARD whenever I’ll have an occasion to do it. I’m going to TEAR HIS EYES OUT and feed him with them. If he has any eyes.

Wrrr, it’s so frustrating to be powerless. For now I’m just gonna plan a painful end... for a being that is most likely much, much stronger than I will ever be.... What was he? A demon? A god? Yet to find out I guess. No! Such thinking will get me nowhere! I’ll definitely kill him in a most painful way imaginable even it it’s the last thing I’ll ever do! … Wishful thinking, yeah. I mean, I’m talking about an entity capable of traveling between worlds and kidnapping/reincarnating people. But manifesting my anger makes me feel better, so let’s stick with this for now.

Back to my present situation. I hope it won’t take too long till the next time I’m gonna get in charge. As I said before - this darkness is annoying. Although this time it’s not exactly pure darkness. There are some barely visible lighter spots. And they change shape rather fast. I’m focusing as hard as I can and trying to make sense of them but it’s hopeless.

Or so i thought. There seem to be sounds barely distinguishable in the background. They remind me of static noises on the radio, but i can tell that there’s clearly more than one. Like… a song… sang in an extremely high pitched voice… on the other side of a thick wall… so a very, very fast song?

Could it be that I’m experiencing sights and sounds from the infant’s point of view, but somehow distorted… and accelerated? Because if this reminds me of something I’d say it’s like watching a movie on fast forward. If that’s the case then those next five years might not take too long. I mean, it’s quite the pace I’m seeing here.

Too bad I can’t make any sense of those images. I don’t know why though… His eyes and ears should function normally right? I know it wasn’t as bad even right after our birth. Maybe that’s just because the connection between me and the body is still weak.

This time, thankfully, I’m blissfully unaware of the passage of time. Or rather - I know that weeks and months are passing in the matter of minutes. But that’s just it. It ends on me knowing. I don’t have to experience it accelerated and so compressed that it’s somehow painful. All the while I can see distorted and unrecognizable visions and sounds of my host’s life.

‘Host’, right. But if he’s my host, then that makes me a parasite. A horrific parasite. One that takes over the victim’s mind - or eats it, I have absolutely no idea how that works - and soul from the inside? Reality definitely differs quite a lot from my past self's vision of afterlife. But I went over this already and thinking about it more won’t change anything, so I guess I just have to stop complaining. At least about that particular subject. Which task would be much easier if I actually had anything to do except staring at a partially void and partially damaged video.

Eventually something changes. The vision before me begins to take colors and grows till there’s no darkness left. The same goes for sound - distortions and static fades away and I can hear music, and voices. And then the physics kicks in. Last time I didn’t feel it because of the pain. From now on I’ll forever know what it’s like to suddenly become subjected to gravity. What gaining a body feels like. You can’t really know this feeling if you never were made to exist without one. But right now what’s important is that I’m in control. Let’s see what’s going on.

I’m in a spacious room, or rather some sort of atrium as there’s no roof. Bright stone walls and columns mark four sides of a rectangular space. Three of them are marked with numerous doors, last one is open and seems to serve as a way to access a larger garden area. But even here qualifies as outdoors, so grass, flowers and high growing plants are everywhere, but noticeable stone paths make their way from door to door all around. It seems like some kind of meeting or family gathering is going on right now.

There are four parallel tables with wealthy looking people standing on both sides of each, and one longer table perpendicular to them with chairs only on one side. Between two middle tables stands a small boxy fountain made from sculpted stone. It reminds me of a shrine with its sloped roof supported by small, ornate pillars. Inside, in the water, lays brightly colored sculpture of a snake-like creature. All around are several Roman-looking sculptures, and amphoras - filled with something I presume to be wine - by the tables. It looks like a strange mixture of late medieval italian trade republic and ancient Rome.

Seems like I just entered, or rather the person holding me just did. She’s a woman so... my mother maybe? We’re heading to the longer table and everyone are looking at us. Now that I think about it, even though they all look human… their hair, which I thought were simply black, are in a peculiar dark bluish shade of black. Or rather very dark shade of blue? Same goes with their eyes but with lighter shades of blue. Only a few people don't have those traits, so most likely they are outsiders married into the family.

Anyway, we’re standing beside the table apparently waiting for something and everyone’s focus shifts to the big open doors carved with floral motifs in the wall opposite to the bigger garden area. An old man enters through them… He’s tall and walks with confidence. His hair is partially grey, and his high forehead suggest that he’s slowly balding but something in his cold blue eyes gives him very intimidating look.

He comes to the chair in the middle of our table and proceeds to give a long speech. Obviously I don’t understand a word he’s saying but everyone seem genuinely interested, so I'm guessing this whole event is some sort of a celebration? If it’s annual or repeats in a similar period of time I might understand more next time. After all Romans loved their celebrations, and this place - wherever I am - looks pretty Roman so far.

After the speech, which actually strengthens my Roman impression of this place as It has a lot of latin and italian sounding words, once again everyone points their attention towards the same door baldy came through. But this time it’s because of a small procession. A woman wearing delicate material intricately wrapped around her body marches into the atrium with pride and attitude reserved only for important clergy (and many politicians) alongside four other women in much more modest, albeit similar in theme, attires. I immediately identify the most important guest as a Roman vestal - virgin priestess tending to the sacred flame of Vesta, goddess of the hearth. At least that’s what her and her companions’ clothing suggests. Well, looks like I’m actually going to find use for all that historical knowledge I’ve accumulated. If she really is a vestal - or some local equivalent/just a priestess - then this might be some sort of religious celebration.

Oh! Now that I think about it… this altar-like thing in the center - towards which the new guests are headed - looks like a lararium, except for the water inside. It was a Roman shrine dedicated towards a lar. Lars were believed be spirits protecting the house and its inhabitants, including slaves. Although I have no idea what that vestal-like priestess is supposed to do with it, as vestals had nothing to do with lars since that cult was limited to people belonging to the family, precisely paterfamilias, whom I presume to be that old man who made a speech earlier.

As the priestess gets closer to the shrine, I briefly consider that she might in fact belong to the family, but was delegated to serve in the temple of Vesta’s local equivalent. However her obvious lack of family traits quickly invalidates that idea.

The old man who seems to be a patriarch of the family also goes to the shrine-fountain and approaches it alongside the priestess. Meanwhile her entourage proceeds to burn incense and sing monotonously. Most of the family members join with them in singing. It sounds quite well, so either it’s a commonly known song or just a mundane and often repeated ritual.

The singing continues while one of the lesser priestesses comes closer with a small plate filled with some pastry and a small cup of, most likely, wine. Typical offerings to lars, together with incense.

The elder takes cake, priestess takes wine and they make the offering. Firstly the elder puts this deliciously looking proof that confectionery is a type of art into the water in the shrine, then his companion pours the wine into it.

And suddenly, I’m faced with the fact that this really is a magic world. I mean, I know a bit about lars but nothing I’ve ever read about them prepared me FOR A GIANT. FUCKING. SNAKE. It emerged from the fountain, giving me a profound feeling of WTF. However, no one is screaming or running in panic, so I presume this is pretty much considered as normal. And it definitely looks like this is a high fantasy world, all right.

The snake is one of the big ones. It looks at least three to four meters long - which is hard to judge since I don’t even know how high are people around me - and it’s really thick. Its scales are in various shades of blue, and for some reason it has what looks like fins. A bit like you would imagine a fusion between a big eel and a snake. But its head is particularly massive for a snake. It looks almost disproportionate. Almost.

Singing comes to an end. Everyone seem focused on the altar and things happening around it. The elder steps aside, and the priestess is left to confront lar alone. Everyone is waiting for something to happen. The silence is nearly deafening. And now…

The reptile visibly lowers its head. Maybe that’s a snake’s way of paying respects? Now I’m really curious what it is that I’m witnessing right now. In some way everyone seem satisfied. They’re not at all surprised by what’s happening. Relieved? Like in that reassuring moment after the most important part of some public celebration, when everything went according to schedule. There’s always a possibility of something going wrong and spectacularly failing, but this time it all went well. No one is really admits that, but they still seem relieved and just a tiny bit excited and happy.

Obviously, everything going on right now would be much easier to understand if I actually had any idea about what it’s all about. But, whatever the meaning of this whole ceremony is, it looks like it’s nearing its end - or at least moving into another stage. Baldy and the main priestess have a short conversation after which she and her helpers depart. The snake remains where it was - in front of the shrine-fountain. I can hear faint murmuring as a sign that the ritual ended and now it’s fine to casually talk to each other again.

The old man returns to his chair, but right before sitting down he barks a few short words. I guess they were orders to start the feast because just a few seconds later servant-looking men and women - some of which have animal ears and fur on their hands and faces - are bringing big plates with various dishes. After they’re done with setting the tables most of them leave while others take their places by the amphoras, ready to refill cups.

Seriously? Beastmen? It’s just... so damn cliché! At least there are as many humans among them so it’s not the terribly unoriginal and usually boring setting where humans oppress non-humans. Everyone seem equally unfortunate to serve this purely human family. Although... each and every one of them is wearing identical metal collars. I know this family was supposed to be bad, but I certainly didn’t expect to see this many slaves. Their numbers give me a pretty good idea about what kind of business my new family dwells in… I just hope I’m wrong about it. But I remember that black bastard of a Trespasser claiming that my host would be a part of a ‘bad family’. I believe I know now what he meant by that.

Shortly after that, while everyone sit down and start eating, servants line up along the walls most likely to be ready to serve if needed. Some of them steal a glance or two at the food on the tables with visible hunger in their eyes. All the while family members are happily eating, without even noticing that hunger. I doubt they even notice the slaves at all - for them they must seem more like furniture.

There’s a certain trend in everyone’s behavior. From time to time two people start to whisper, one of them points in my general direction, the other seem slightly surprised, and after some more whispers they resume eating. And after a few seconds the same thing happens somewhere else. Even that greying baldy stole a few glances at me and each time something in his face was giving me the idea that he expected something different.

A few minutes later I finally understand what’s happening. I remember what that black bastard told me - that my unwilling host would also be mentally impaired or something. Is that what they’re talking about? That’s the shocking news everyone must know? I guess if mental problems of my host were in some way visible, then my current behaviour must seem somewhat in contrary to their expectations. Or that’s simply first time they see a calm boy my age. Whichever is true it only means one thing - I don’t act like my host normally would and that might be a problem in the future.

Judging by the arrangement of tables I belong to the most important part of this family, so me being retarded must have been an important and well known gossip. However, now I’m acting more or less like a normal - although silent - infant. I guess right now at least a few of them are wondering if the gossip about me was in fact nothing more, maybe even intentionally forged as a part of some internal power struggle within the family. Or I might be simply over thinking things, which is… probable. After all it may just be how things normally go on around here. Just one more day of backstabbing, scheming someone’s untimely demise and spreading nasty gossips about people you can’t downright murder.

I can’t help but wonder what sort of mental problems my host has. Maybe some form of autism? That would explain why I got control when he suddenly was in front of so many unknown people. And why my calm behavior was so surprising to everyone. I can only guess that sickness which combines mental problems with some… disfigurements… is out of the question. Or, rather, I can only hope Trespasser didn’t put me into a body that, for example, would make me forever look like a person with a Down syndrome… that would be painful in every possible way.

Anyway, some time passed rather uneventful, everyone was eating and… gossiping. And, of course, heavily drinking. Although I doubt that they’re drinking any strong alcohol. Some of them drunk really massive amounts of it, and they barely look affected. I remember that in ancient times people diluted alcohol with water… yeah, it makes sense.

Back to gossiping - I can of course only guess what they are doing, as I can’t understand a word they’re saying. But the looks some of them give me are a pretty good hint. Didn’t that black bastard put me into this body so I won’t have to learn the language? I know that my host is still an infant… and because of that can’t speak or understand anything yet, but how much longer do I have to wait for it? Being surrounded by people you can’t understand is unbelievably frustrating.

And now back to the present, something is happening at our table. Firstly I should mention who’s sitting at it right? So, in the middle is that greying baldy and from what happened in the beginning of the feast I think he’s some kind of patriarch or family head. On both his sides are - judging from similarities in their looks - his sons. The one on the right is probably my father since the woman - who despite eating is still holding me… is most likely my mother - is sitting beside him. And that would make the man, woman and boy on the left side of baldy respectively my uncle, aunt and cousin.

I didn’t mention it earlier because I was busy with other insights but the atmosphere at our table was heavy from the start. Women were silent that entire time and two brothers were constantly trying to entertain their father. Now it seems like he asked them for something because they practically threw themselves on the table to reach a particular plate with a dish composed of sliced meat and gravy of some kind. My father lost that pissing contest and his brother was the one to pass the trophy to the baldy… who seemingly didn’t notice any commotion.

Judging from everyone else’s behavior - or rather lack of change in it - what just happened is perceived as normal. It still takes me a few seconds to guess why. The patriarch is my grandfather and most likely a head of this family/clan/whatever else it is. And right now two of his sons desperately fight for his attention just to make sure he will choose one of them as his successor. I pretty much keep my fingers crossed for my father since his victory in that struggle would be highly beneficial for me in the future. More money, more influence, more of everything. Besides, I don’t know what’s locals way of treating defeated pretendents and their families. If that part of their culture is also Roman and my father loses, I’ll be royally screwed.

I’m still uncertain if I want the ‘mission’ I received from that bastard. No, that’s a bad word since I’m currently sure as hell that I don’t want to have anything to do with it. But for some reason I doubt if I’m even allowed to simply say no to an entity capable of kidnapping a person from another world. Besides I’m far from condemning this world simply because there’s slavery in it. It’s not evil by definition. It is the way the slaves are treated by law and people that can make it evil. If it really is a Crapsack World I might reconsider, but for now… Well, for now I’ll postpone making decisions until I know more about this world and just confine myself to observing.

It takes me about twenty minutes to gain another valuable piece of intel - my family doesn’t consist of aristocrats. Though they are pretty damn wealthy - that’s for sure - so merchants, perhaps? Most likely slave merchants, as I mentioned earlier.

However there are two family members who I think are actually nobles. They’re sitting at one of the tables carrying sheathed blades that look like ancient greek xiphos swords and give more noble-like feeling, or it’s just their arrogance showing, but I guess here it would be one and the same thing. The older one has brown hair instead of dark blue ones. By his side sits a much more family-like woman, so… poor aristocrat who was forced to marry into a wealthy merchant family for money? I might be going too far in my assumptions but this theory looks plausible enough. Especially since both nobles visibly act as if they’re superior to the rest of the family. It’s surprising how much one can be arrogant, while still acting polite.

Suddenly there’s an uproar at the aristocrats table. The older noble’s standing and shouting at someone at the next table, who is seemingly trying to apologise or explain. Aristocrat unsheathes his sword and points it at the… offender, I guess… all the while the younger noble offers his own blade to the unarmed target of his father’s rage. The feast has been going on for a while now, so even with wine diluted with water everyone is at least slightly drunk, but the man staring at nearly a meter of sharp steel is suddenly sober. Out of fear, or simply panicking, he refuses the offered sword and starts speaking in a high pitched voice while desperately gesticulating at a nearby slave.

Everyone’s attention is already drawn to the angry noble and his squeaking adversary whose situation is getting worse and worse. Especially after pointing at a slave… because now not only the older noble looks like having some sort of stroke but also his son joins in the shouting and points his own sword at the unfortunate man.

As much as I can understand from that situation, and once again all I can do is guessing, the squeaking man somehow offended that old aristocrat and was angrily challenged for a duel or some local equivalent. That’s why the young noble was offering him a sword. But the offender panicked and tried to blame the slave? No, it’s more like he demanded that the slave should fight instead of him? Anyway that wasn’t received well as now both aristocrats are pissed. Obviously I never saw anyone fighting like that for real so maybe now’s gonna be my chance to see some bloodshed?

That possibility however is ruined by the snake of all people. It hisses loudly, with it’s mouth facing the commotion. And it works on everyone involved in the incident like a cold shower. They immediately hide their swords, sit down and resume the feast. And then my mother, after exchanging a few words with her husband, takes me out of the room. Immediately after the door closes behind us and we’re alone in a hallway I feel pressure in the back of my head. But before I can react to it I’m already back in the darkness. Although this time the vibe here is somewhat different.

First of all, distortions of pictures and sounds are less annoying. I can more or less see and hear what’s going on around my host. As I said before, that probably depends on my link with the body which after the last ‘possession’ definitely grew a bit stronger.

And while I still debate on my current situation everything goes silent… and suddenly I’m not alone.

“Well, if you aren’t a smart little bastard. Yup, you hit the nail with that idea about slave trading.”

Well, guess who that might be. I have no problem identifying the voice. I look around - or rather I would if I had a neck… or eyes, it’s still black nothingness around me, but yeah… Trespasser strikes back.

“Wonderful, you again. You know that kicking a man when he’s already down is not a nice thing to do? I would consider it more like a dick move. Why are you tormenting me by showing me your ugly face, yet again?”

He laughs. So Jester all the way.

“Oh, you see, the Nazi, as you call him, rushed things a little and I didn’t have enough time to fill you in on some crucial details. So, as a good soul I am, I decided, from the goodness of my heart, to visit you again, just to make sure you won’t end up dying in any particularly painful way… too soon. Coz you see - from the locals perspective you’re a demon possessing the kid, you know?”

And who’s fault is that?!

“Wonderful. That’s just the way I’ve always dreamed of spending my afterlife. But you don’t have to worry about it. I’m not dumb enough to start screaming ‘I AM SOMETHING FROM BEYOND THIS WORLD’ right after learning the language. Is there anything else you’d like to add?”

“Actually, I kinda want to ask you something. That part about slavery and how it’s not bad by definition. I’m curious about it.”

“And you can’t just read it from my mind?” No noticeable reaction, so I sigh loudly. “I’ve heard enough about people committing suicide because of debts to know that slavery never disappeared, it just changed form. Being able to sell yourself, thus making your owner deal with debt you can’t possibly pay back, while still being protected by law from… abuse, seems better than selling your kidneys or, as I mentioned, committing suicide. And it was pretty much like that in the ancient Greece and Rome. Does this satisfy your curiosity?”

He smiles widely.

“Well, I might have chosen better candidate than I hoped for?” Go fuck yourself. “In your dreams. Well, to avoid you having wrong impression about slavery here - collars on the slave's necks are infused with magic. Inducing pain as an automatic response to rejection of orders, ability to monitor the location of all collared slaves by their owner, et cetera, et cetera. And they aren’t really protected by law in any way. On the bright side, it should be easy for you to gain some great monster girl harem!”

“Seriously go fuck yourself. With a chainsaw, preferably.” And then, I answer the question he’s just about to ask. “Then it’s the sick type of slavery. Anything else? Or can I finally return to staring into black nothingness which is still better than being anywhere near you?”

“Awwww, don’t be angry. No, I changed my mind. BE ANGRY. Corrupting people who try to resist is soooo much more entertaining!”

“I would retort again with a variation of ‘go fuck yourself’ but I temporarily run out of ideas on how to make it sound negative enough. Let me repeat myself - is there anything else?”

“Yeah, actually there is. It’s about magic. You see, I’m here to remind you that when it’s about natural ability towards magic, yours is… ABSOLUTELY NONEXISTENT. In other words no matter how much you try, you’ll never be able to use even the weakest of spells.” YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDD… “But, there are other ways to acquire magic than just the natural one. So, whenever you’ll think you’re ready, take a blade, find a young virgin girl…

“Are you serious?!” I involuntarily interrupt him.

“Nope, just kidding.” He laughs. Loudly. ”Besides, I’ve already mentioned this just before Nazi ‘kidnapped’ you. You may have forgotten it in the transfer, so I’m just here to remind you to get some decent fighting skill and high standings in your family before your sixteenth birthday. And again, your RPG elements will fully activate when you’re five… give or take few months. Then you’ll be able to, uhm, extend them to anyone you deem worthy - like your harem members!” The worst part of being stuck in black nothingness is that I can’t throw anything at him… and I don’t even have hands for Christ’s sake… Curses definitely aren’t satisfying enough. ”After being blessed they won’t be able to talk to anyone about us without your acceptance, so they won’t cause problems, but, you know, hearing voices in your head isn’t something good even in a wizard’s world.”

“You know, you already mentioned that in the very beginning of our unfortunate meeting? Wait, did you repeat all of this just to be able to sneak in a quote from…”

“Yeah, kinda. Well, I’ll be going. Say hello to the others, if you meet them. Have fun, and kill something nice for me. We won’t see each other for at least ten to twenty years, of course unless you’ll die somehow. Byeee….”

And… I’m alone again. I never thought that being alone, in the darkness, unable to do anything for God knows how long can be so… lovely. The only thing that slightly ruins it, is wondering what he meant by ‘others’...