I woke up back in my bed at the office. I looked at the window. It had been repaired and the new glass showed me that it was dark outside. The room had been put to rights. Jade was no longer there. Had I really just left her dead and tied to a turned over chair? What an idiot! As I sat up I realized someone had undressed me. Completely. I hoped it had been Sednik’s wife, my cook and maid. Give her a thrill as a bonus for a job well done. Two jobs, even. Ugh, I really hoped it hadn’t been Sednik.

My bloody clothes lay in a heap beside the bed. Someone had wiped off my hands somewhat but there were still bits of dried blood on them, as well as some other, harder to identify things. They were slightly sticky, which made my stomach twitch. I needed a bath. Urgently. All of a sudden it was the most important thing I could think of to do. I walked, naked, to my bath chamber. Somebody had filled my tub but it must have been hours ago because the water was cool. I didn’t care. I bathed thoroughly, trying to wash away some of the unpleasant memories along with the dirt, blood and other gross stuff that had gotten on me. I was in there a long time. Long enough that my teeth were chattering by the time I climbed out.

I dressed myself slowly, giving me some time to think about what I’d done. I wasn’t proud of myself but I forgave me, like I always do. I just can’t stay mad at me.

That settled I opened the door and made my way to the kitchen. Delik was there, sitting at the table with a bottle of cheap wine and a couple of glasses.

“How are you feeling now?” He asked me with concern in his voice, and his eyes.

“Sane.” I laughed quietly. “Or at least not completely insane.”

He nodded. “That is a good start.”

“I also feel quite well rested. I always figured being knocked out by a sleep spell would have some sort of lingering weirdness. You know? An upset stomach or loose bowels. Aches. Something. But physically I feel great. What time is it? How long did I sleep?”

He smiled. “You slept over eight hours. If I hadn’t heard about what you did from Venzik I might have started to worry.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.” I sat down. “I think now would be a good time for some wine.”

He grabbed the open, but still full bottle and poured us each a sizeable portion in some mugs that matched the quality of the wine. I took it but must have had a questioning look on my face.

“Why the cheap wine and crappy mugs?” He asked. I nodded and he looked at me with sad eyes. “It does not seem like a night to celebrate with fancy things.”

That made sense. A lot of it. I took a drink. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. “Not too bad.” I said with a small smile.

“Dirk, how are you? Really.”

I shrugged and took another sip. “I’ve been trying to figure that out since I woke up. I feel a little numb, I guess.”

“That makes sense.”

I sighed. “I can hardly believe that I tortured those Kathaldi. I was so angry. I didn’t even ask them anything, at first. And then I only did so I could keep going.” I took a long drink then set the cup down. “I’m glad you weren’t there to see it.”

He nodded. “I am, too.”

“What did Venzik say?” I was afraid to hear the answer.

“At first he would only say that you were sick with grief and Finril had to put you to sleep. You know how he is. I could tell that he needed to talk so I kept at it until he gave in. After that he told me everything and then I wished he had not.”

“Ah. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry. He needed to tell me more than I needed to remain ignorant.” He lifted his mug. “Drink up, old friend, or you’ll never get back to sleep.”

So I did. I’m not sure if passing out is the same as sleeping but it seemed to work.

When I woke up with a hangover I needed to bathe again, although this time in hot water. While I was bathing, I decided to take the next few days off and head to my town house as soon as I could. I shaved, I ate a big breakfast and then I was off. Delik Slin stayed behind to run the office but Venzik came with me, and slightly more than half of the guards. I didn’t think the Kathaldi would kill me when I was so miserable. I imagined they were enjoying it. If I was ever happy again, that’s when I’d need to be on my guard.

I spent the next day eating, sleeping, sparring on the rooftop with various guards and drinking. It seemed to help. Until the next morning when a solicitor showed up.