《EARTH SAGE DOESN'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED》CHAPTER 9 EARTH SAGE PARTY OF ONE

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9

Saline rolled her head and groaned loudly. “How long do we have to wait?” She said tossing sharpened pencils into the ceiling.

Karse shrugged and wondered where she got the pencils from. “Until they call our number; shouldn’t be too much longer.” Saline and Karse had been waiting patiently at the guild’s waiting room for their number to be called. They have a quest to turn in and a new one to accept, but Saline was never a patient elf.

Saline watched as the guild fairies flew above them happily tending to their tasks. She also saw a fairy appear from thin air surrounded by smoke. She then glanced at the door Aza, Ash, and Johnna went through. “I wonder how he’s doing.” She asked quietly.

“Who? The mage?” Asked Karse in an annoyed voice; he wasn’t thrilled by her sudden interest in him.

“His name is Ash.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“…and he’s all alone with Aza…Our Aza…My Aza…” Saline said in a dark voice.

“Why are you so interested in him anyway? Don’t tell me you’re in love with him.” Karse asked regretting the question immediately.

“Nah.” Saline said as Karse let out a sigh of relief. “He’s just interesting. Never met an actual Envoy of the Gods before.”

“A little disappointing if you ask me. A real milkshake duck.”

“Well no one asked you, Karse. Also what’s a milkshake duck?”

“It’s-“Karse stopped midsentence as the light outside that was shining in through the windows suddenly turned reddish-orange. “What’s going on? Is the sun setting already? Doesn’t feel that late.”

Everyone waiting in the guild was muttering to each other as one of the guild fairies flew to the center of the room and spoke in a loud but high pitched voice. “Attention everyone! Please, everyone be quiet!” All eyes turned to the small fairy. “Yes, well, apparently a meteor is about to hit us, though honestly I think it’s more of a comet. Anyway, when it hits the damage will be catastrophic and we’ll all die. Thank you for listening. We have about a minute till impact. Please enjoy your last minute listening to me sing a sad song about death.” The fairy began to sing a dirge as everyone in the guild began screaming.

“I’m too young to die!” Screamed an old man

“And I don’t have the perfect body yet!” Screamed a female necromancer.

“And I’m still a virgin!” Screamed her father.

“This is a bunch of crap!” Screamed another man as he picked up a chair and busted it over another man’s head.

The man turned around while rubbing his head and yelled at his assailant. “Damn it Gary! You’re not even a member of this guild!”

Saline let out a sudden scream of terror and Karse looked to her in surprise. Tears ran down her face as she sobbed. Karse had never seen her so weak and vulnerable before. He was scared himself but he decided he should be strong for her. “Saline…” He said gently as he put an arm over her. “It’ll be alright.”

”No it won’t…” Saline said with a voice of great sadness. “Golem Aza is dead.” Saline showed Karse a small pile of stones in her hand. “Ash must have moved too far away and she fell apart.” She continued to cry as Karse removed his arm and looked to the ground with a feeling of defeat. “My poor little rock baby…”

Karse looked around the room and noticed everyone was bracing themselves and waiting for the impact. A few moments passed and nothing happened. Karse looked at the window and noticed that the light coming in was just normal sunlight. He was about to say something as the fairy from earlier stopped singing and spoke in a loud high pitched voice yet again. “It looks like a False alarm everyone, This was just a test. If that had been an actual comet we’d all be dead. So Please return to your seats and wait for your number to be called.” At this everyone began yelling and pointing at the fairy and blaming her for causing a panic. The fairy just smiled and said in a calm voice. “All complaints need to be reported to HR.”

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Everyone looks over at the massive wolf sitting on a pile of bones in the corner of the room. It glares at everyone with its red piercing eyes and says in a deep growling voice. “All forms must be filled out in triplicate.” Everyone looks at each other and sits down without making another complaint.

Karse turned to speak to Saline. “Hey, do you think Ash had something to do with the meteor?”

Saline nods. “I bet he did. See what I mean, Karse? He’s interesting, right?”

“Almost getting killed by him on a daily basis is not interesting.”

“That aside, when are they going to call my number?”

One of the fairies at the counter speaks up. “Saline’s number.”

Saline stood up and said excitedly to Karse. “That’s our number!” Saline ran over to the fairy followed by a solemn Karse. “I’m Saline! That’s me! Right here!”

“Yes.” Said the fairy with a smile. “How can I help you?”

“I’m here to turn in the basilisk quest and accept the lich quest.” Saline said as she put several documents on the table in front of the fairy.

The fairy looked at the documents and nodded. “As long as you submit to a truth spell the reward for the basilisk quest is yours, I’m fairy certain. However, the lich quest has been bumped up to an A rank quest. Your party is D rank so I’m afraid I can’t allow you to take the quest. I’m so fairy sorry.”

“What? I thought it was a bounty and anyone can take a bounty quest.”

“It was, but due to suspicious circumstances it has been upgraded to a higher ranking quest. However, If you still want to pursue it I know a way to do it unofficially.”

“I’m listening.”

“We have a new quest we were about to put up. It’s a guild issued quest so the pay isn’t as high as most but it’ll take you to the area where the lich is supposed to have been seen. We need a party to investigate the disappearance of Jaxton and his party. They went after the lich bounty a week ago and haven’t been heard from since. So if you investigate Jaxton’s disappearance and just happen to kill a lich… well… we’d have no choice but to give you the reward for killing the monster.”

“Jaxton is missing?”

“Hey?” Karse says to Saline. “Wasn’t Jaxton the guy who flirted with Olanna and Olanna busted his nose?”

Saline nods. “Yeah, then after he recovered he came back and insulted Olanna and Garret busted his nose. Good old busted nose Jaxton.”

A look of worry spreads over Karse’s face. “Saline this whole lich thing is starting to sound way too dangerous.”

“You’re right Karse. Let’s do it! I’d hate for another party to get hurt trying to accomplish it.”

“You know that’s not what I meant!”

The fairy giggles in a very fairy like fashion. “Fairy good. I’ll just need you to sign the standard death waiver then.”

“Heh.” Chuckles Saline as Karse shakes his head. “Ash will have to join us when he sees this quest with such a huge reward.”

“But we actually only have the investigation quest. I wonder what party will get the lich quest.”

“Doesn’t matter. We’ll just have to kill the lich before they do.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Johnna walks into her office followed by Aza and a tired looking Ash. She sits at her desk and motions for the two of them to sit down on the two chairs conveniently in front of her desk. They sit and after a long pause Johnna finally speaks. “So…an envoy? That would explain a few things but envoys usually have a mission they are on. What’s your mission Ash?”

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Ash shrugs. “I don’t really have one. I just want to take on some quests with huge rewards, get enough money to live off of, and seclude myself away to never be heard from again.”

Aza sighs enviously, “That sounds nice.”

Johnna frowns at her sister. “You know Aza you don’t have to be here.”

Aza nods. “You’re right. I guess I should go do absolutely nothing somewhere else.”

“Never mind.” Johnna says as she turns her attention back to Ash. “Let’s put the envoy thing aside for now. There’s still one more test I need you to take.”

“Another…” Says Ash wishing it was over already. “What are you testing now?”

“Intelligence”

“Oh, do I have to solve a puzzle or something? A labyrinth complete with a minotaur? It better not tell puns.”

“No, nothing like that.” Johnna lays a stack of papers in front of Ash. “It’s a written test.”

“Damn…” says Ash as he grabs the papers. He looks at a few of the questions and much to his surprise all the questions seem to be middle school level or lower.

This shouldn’t be too hard for you Ash. Thanks to magic and other things that don’t exist in your world, this world didn’t have a need for such high education. Though that has also stunted the growth of this world as far as technological achievements go. It’s taboo really, mostly thanks to an Envoy named Solem. Also, I can’t help you answer these, as that would be cheating.

“I got this.” Ash said as he began to write down answers. After a very boring few minutes Ash hands the papers back to Johnna confident that he knew how he had scored.

“You barely passed.” Johnna said as she marked another red x on the paper.

Ash nodded and replied. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Well a pass is a pass. With all your results added together I’m going to give you a D rank.”

“You gave me a D? Why did you give me a D?”

“Getting a D is a good thing. I almost never give new people a D. Rookies normally start at R to let people know they are rookies. Then after a few quests they get an F rank. A new member getting a solid D is almost unheard of.”

“Oh well I’m happy to get it then.”

“You should be.”

Aza just looks at both of them with disgust. “Really, you two?”

Ash asks while ignoring her. “So what now? I just accept a mission?”

“You can accept a quest. Normally you choose a quest from the quest board in the main lobby but today I’ll let you choose one right now. That’s how awesome I am. First, are you joining an existing party?”

“Nah, it’ll just be me.”

“That’s fine, so a solo party.”

Aza shakes her head. “Saline won’t like that.”

Ash nods in agreement. “She’s not going to like it even more when I leave without telling her.”

“Hmmm…. There’s a quest that might be up your ally given your power.” Johnna rummages through her desk and pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to Ash. Ash looks at the paper and takes notice of how it looks similar to an old western wanted poster.

In the middle of the poster is a large question mark and under it reads, UNKOWN CREATURE SPOTTED NEAR THE TOWN OF KOTVOSELLE. LIKELY A LICH. VERY DANGEROUS. MANY TOWNSPEOPLE HAVE BEEN TAKEN BY THE MONSTER. NEED HELP NOW. SEE MAYOR CULLEN IN KOTVOSELLE FOR MORE DETAILS. HUGE REWARD FOR DEALING WITH THIS MONSTER!!! SAVE US PLEASE WE’RE BEGGING IN ALL CAPS!!!

How much is the reward?

Ash looks down at the reward amount and it just reads A LOT. Ash lets out a whistle. “That’s a lot.”

To Ash’s surprise Aza had gotten up and had been reading over his shoulder. She looks to her sister skeptically. “This sounds pretty important. Why hasn’t the king stepped in?”

“Sis, you really need to listen to the daily gossip. The king is dying and everyone is vying for the throne. He didn’t have any children after all. They don’t have time to care about a small, poorly named town like Kotvoselle.”

Ash, in case you’re wondering, a lich is an undead creature. Often a mage but sometimes a person who had a powerful position like a king. They are extremely powerful and likely have lived for a very long time. They excel in dark magic and often command lesser undead monsters under them.

Ash nods. “I’ll take it.”

Aza shakes her head. “Are you crazy? You can’t fight a lich by yourself.”

Ash sighs. “You sound like my ring.”

She is right.

Ash sighs. “You sound like Aza.”

Aza turns to look at Johnna. “Also this is marked as an A rank quest. He can’t accept it.”

Johnna smiles at her sister. “It’s fine. He is clearly strong and he is an envoy, so I’ll give him special permission to take the quest. If he succeeds, I can increase his rank. Imagine me having an envoy in my guild.”

“You’re going to get him killed.”

Johnna realizes something. “Oh yeah, speaking of which, I need you to sign these Ash.” She slams a large stack of papers in front of Ash. “These are the new member forms, some various things you must agree to, and a death waiver form for the lich quest. Please fill these out and turn it into the dire wolf in HR when you’re done.”

Ash looks at the stack with a bitter glare. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t my old arch nemesis, contractual agreement.”

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Saline happily stands up from her chair as Ash and Aza walk out of Johnna’s office. Saline and Karse run over to them and Saline tries to hug Aza as the demon woman easily holds her back with one hand. “I missed you so much.” Saline says while crying.

Aza looks down at the small elf. “We were only gone three hours.”

“That was two hours and fifty-nine minutes too long.”

Ash moves past her and walks up to the large and terrifying wolf in the corner of the room. He then hands a large stack of papers to the wolf. The wolf snatches the papers from Ash with his mouth and quickly begins to shred them all while violently swinging his head back and forth. Ash watches as the wolf shreds his papers, he decides not to question it, and just silently turns towards the exit of the guild.

Saline sees Ash leaving and calls out to him. “Hey wait up! Don’t leave without us.”

Ash exits the building and stretches a bit as the warm sun shines down on him. Aza, Saline, and Karse exit the building as well and Karse walks up to Ash and points an accusing finger at him. “Hey! Was that you that almost killed us earlier?”

Ash nods. “I wasn’t thinking clearly when I summoned that golem.”

“Not that! The meteor!”

Ash nods. “I wasn’t thinking clearly when I summoned that meteor. Or I guess that was more like a comet. Meteors are smaller I think.” They began to walk for a bit as the woods surrounded the road they were on. It wouldn’t be long before they were back at the inn.

Saline walks up to Ash with a sparkle in her eyes. “So you did ask Johnna to make you a member of my team right?”

Aza pats her on the shoulder. “No. He chose to be alone.”

The sparkle disappears from Saline’s eye and is replaced by sadness. “Why, Ash? I thought we agreed to be teammates? You’re breaking my little elven heart.”

“Then let it shatter. I told you before I wanted to be alone.”

Harsh.

“But why?”

Ash clenches his fist and looks up to the sky as the wind causes his robe to flutter in the breeze. “It’s the way it has to be. I’m a lone wolf and I have to do lone wolf things. Like be alone and howl at the moon and stuff.”

“Why howl at the moon?”

“How else will it ever know it’s place? The point is my goal is to be alone in the end anyway so it’s better if I go solo from here on out. I appreciate all your help till now, whatever it may have been, but this is goodbye.”

“Your goal is stupid.” Saline said while pouting.

“Your face is stupid!” Ash says pointing down to her.

“Do you even know how to get to anywhere?! Do you have a map?!”

We can get directions at the inn I’m sure. Even if you can’t follow them I shouldn’t have any trouble navigating for us.

“Yeah, what my ring said!” Ash says confidently

“What?”

“Oh, right.”

Aza holds up a hand. “Calm down you two.”

Karse was the only one who seemed pretty pleased with the news. “Personally I think this is for the best. I have a feeling we’d all die if we stayed with him.”

“You’re probably right.” Said a voice from the woods and Kory walks out of the woods with a huge grin on his face.

Ash looks over at him. “Oh it’s just you. Thought it was another giant snake. Did you move those rocks, rock mover?”

Kory losses his temper and points an accusing finger at Ash. “When you left, all those golems turned to rocks. Rocks I was expected to move!”

Ash nods. “I wasn’t thinking clearly when I left.”

“It’s fine. I did learn something good though. Your golems aren’t that strong if you’re not angry. I only had three men with me last time but this time I brought twenty!” Ash and company look at him as he just stands by himself alone. “Oh come on! I said twenty! That was your cue. I thought you all were veterans!” Out from the woods appear twenty well-armed men brandishing their weapons laughing villainously.

Ash sighs. “Really, we’re doing this? I swear if I go to the inn and those rocks aren’t moved I’m going to rub your nose in it and be like, bad Kory, bad! Look at the mess you left.”

“Screw you Ass! You embarrassed me in front of Aza!” Kory shouts.

Ash scoffs at him. “That’s your story. You know the old saying there’s three sides to every coin.” Ash thinks for a moment “….Wait…”

Aza shakes her head. “You do a pretty good job embarrassing yourself, Kory.”

“Screw you Aza! I love you! Also you can leave and so can the elves! Ass is all I’m after.” Kory says as his men snicker.

Saline laughs. “Ha! Like we’d run from a battle. Isn’t that right you two?” Saline turns to see Aza flying away and Karse diving into the woods. “Okay, I saw that coming. Ash maybe we should run.”

Ash shakes his head. “Nah. If I’m going against a lich I’m going to need some practice and these guys just volunteered.”

“Stop trying to sound like a badass! This isn’t going to be like yesterday!” Kory screams angrily.

“You have no idea how bad my ass is.” Ash says trying to be intimidating.

Kory shakes his head and rubs his temple. “Just kill him.” He says and the men rush towards Ash as Ash gets ready to test out a new spell that piqued his curiosity.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The soldiers marched through the town of Kotvoselle. The once populated town was now empty and quiet. Captain Thane was tasked by his king to check on the town after they received reports of a lich in the area. Thane thought it was a waste of time given the situation of the kingdom but he was loyal to his king and was determined to see his mission through. As he made his way through the town he discovered the king was right to be concerned. Something dark has happened in this town.

Rotten food was left on dishes. Jobs and tasks were stopped halfway through and there were obvious signs of struggle but to his confusion almost no blood. It was not unheard of for a whole village to be ransacked and destroyed, especially with the slave trade so close. This was too clean though. With so little damage to be seen it was like they all disappeared.

Thane came here with six men and thought that was too much at the time but now he wished he had brought more. Two of his soldiers walked with him as he explored the town. The rest were split into two parties and told to look for any survivors. Thane turned to see one of the parties heading towards him. The soldiers walked up to him and Thane said in a raspy voice. “Report.”

“We haven’t found any survivors or even any corpses.” Says the soldier. “We did find something strange though.”

“Stranger than a towns worth of missing people?”

“Well, it’s definitely strange. Someone has stacked up a large amount of weapons, armor, and various jewelry at the edge of town. Some are quite valuable.” The soldier produces a ring from his pocket. On the ring was a large ruby worth well over a hundred golden lumps.

Thane looks at it appraisingly. “This isn’t something someone would just leave behind. Someone has to have made that pile. Take me there. The rest of you wait here for the other-“A terrible scream cut Thanes words short. He recognized the voice as one of his men’s. His men looked at him frozen by the scream. Thane shouted to snap them out of it. “Go!”

Thane didn’t wait for his men and decided to rush towards the area they heard the scream at. It sounded like it was just on the other side of this building, Thane thought as he quickly rushed around the building only to see an empty alley. Thane looked around for his soldiers as he caught his breath but like before couldn’t see anything or even any signs that someone was here. Another screamed rang out and Thane ran after the sound again.

This time as he ran he heard yet another scream from one of the men he had just talked to. He ran as fast as he could. Shouting and screaming seemed to echo all around him. He made it back to the center of the town where two of his men were still standing with their swords drawn. “What’s going on!?”

“It’s the lich sir! It appeared out of nowhere when we tried to follow you. We split up and it went after the other two.” One of the soldiers said.

The other soldier hung his head with shame. “We heard their screams. It’ll be after us next, I’m sure.”

“No lich is that fast.” Said Thane trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. “What kind of monster is it?”

“They always call me a monster.” Said a deep and dark voice. “I am simply trying to help. No one is ever willing though.” The men look around the empty town trying to find the owner of the chilling voice. “I forgive you though. You are lost, so I must lead the way.”

“Show yourself!” Cried Thane and much to his surprise the creature did show itself. From one of the roofs it gently floated to the ground in front of them. It wore a dark black cloak and they couldn’t make out a face but they could see bright yellow eyes in the hood of the cloak.

“It’s the lich!” Cried one of the soldiers.

“That’s not a lich.” Responded Thane. “Is it you that’s been taking people? What did you do to the people of this town?!”

“I saved them.”

“The women and children too?!”

“Of course. I wanted to save them all. They were all so pitiable. I also want to save you.”

“I don’t need saving.”

“But you do. I can see it. Your dark deeds.”

“What are you talking about?”

There was a long pause before the creature continued. “What you did to your father. How you abandoned him. You’ve spent many sleepless nights thinking about it. I will cleanse you though so you can rest.”

A look of surprise washed over Thane’s face but was quickly replaced with anger. “My father?! You don’t know what you’re talking about! I don’t need to be saved! You’re welcome to try though. Men get ready!” Thane and his two soldiers hardened their resolve for an assault on this monster.

The creature slowly began to glide towards them. “He told me that you don’t know that you need to be saved. No one does, no one did. I will save you though. I will save everyone.” It said in a dark calm voice as the yellow in its eyes turned white and began to glow. The king would not get a report back from Captain Thane and his men.

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