《Saga of the Cosmic Heroes》Chapter 22: Memories of Toscana | The Everlasting Resentful Dream

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CIRCA 215-216 UC SOMEWHERE IN THE LESSER RUTHENIA REGION

“—It’s a Federation battleship!”

The bridge is fright with excitement and terror.

The skirmish against the Federation force has… to my surprise, been going in our favor. It’s a light force, so it’s to be expected.

But the sudden news of a battleship is something else. A single one of those is enough to cause panic among the ranks. It’s no secret these men are a bunch of spineless cowards, ready to drop what they’re doing at the first signs of trouble.

As Simon would say; when push comes to shove, father is keen on capitalizing on this panic and running for the hills. ‘Take what you can and rig the rest for a nasty surprise!’ is something that father says.

There’s no honor in that. It’s pathetic. What enjoyment is there in fighting an enemy, only to retreat when we have the high ground? Time and again, the moment a new fleet warps into the fray, the order is given to break off the engagement and flee. Would it not be better to stand our ground and take advantage of the situation?

Would it not be in the best interest to make us seem like a scourge of the Federation? To make the Federation think twice about sending men to their certain demise?

The times are changing. Maybe a bit too fast. Our influence over the stars shrinks as a result… because of spineless captains not willing to take risks. With greater risks comes greater reward, and we forfeit much of it for a fleeting moment of comfort. Comfort in the fact that we have evaded the enemy once—and for what?

Is this the way to go about it? Should we not fight for the brethren that fell?

“Captain Li! Please give the order to evacuate the system.” The adjutant assigned to me by father asks in a demanding manner.

The monitor projecting the ongoing battle clearly shows the odds are in our favor… and yet we have to withdrawal?

It’s a single battleship. A Federation battleship. Clearly whoever sent it is underestimating us. They don’t view us as a threat.

Even those ships from the Ruthenian colonies are scarier. They actually pose a threat. They don’t shy away from scrambling their entire strength at the first sign of a few scrawny wolves sniffing for scraps.

“I do not believe that will be necessary.”

“…What did you say, captain?” He asks, surprised.

“Given the circumstances, I believe we will stand our stand here. We will maintain the firefight and confront the battleship.”

“This is no laughing matter, Li, if that battleship reaches the battle, it will be all over—”

“I do not find a single thing about this funny. Rather, I would laugh it off at you even consider the thought of retreating.” For a split second, it seems like the adjutant is grinding his teeth, “But regardless, do you honestly believe that for yourself? It’s one ship. It’s not invincible.” The adjutant is certainly fuming, “I don’t deny that this is a great amount of risk. But we have a numerical advantage—what do you believe the commander of that battleship hopes to accomplish with his presence?”

I extend an arm to the projected map. With each update tick, the battleship blip closes the distance to the frontlines. It is only a matter of time before it can unleash a salvo.

“If we retreat, we only confirm their doctrine. ‘Bring even one big gun, and the pirates will flee’. We aren’t dealing with the overbearing Ruthenians… rather… what were they called?” I cock my head trying to rack my brain over what the Federation military called itself, Simon told me once, and yet…

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“Metro—Metropol Space Force. Mm. We’re dealing with an enemy that doesn’t care much for the outer colonial systems. This is proof of that.” I stand closer to the map projector and tap the blip. It’s near enough now that some men are barking orders about evasive maneuvers into receivers. “If this were the Ruthenian force, they would mobilize everything they had in this part of the system. Luckily for us, it seems even the Central Ruthenian governments don’t care about the Southerners.”

“But even so…!” The adjutant averts his eyes and grits teeth. His fists are clenched.

I can’t help but crack a smile. “If you think about it this way, if we can avert their expectations and succeed at taking down the battleship, there is no doubt the Federation will take us more seriously—”

“With all due respect, Li, I still have authority over the Castelforte. An authority that overrides you. Even if it is a gift to you by captain Simon, and even if you are the daughter of Zhui, I do not wish to squander the lives of my men for your fortune.”

“Ah…”

…For my fortune, huh?

“Is that how you view this, as me trying to make a name for myself? Aren’t you tired of running all the time? Don’t you want to turn the tide… To make a stand, and revenge those who fell?! If we continue to run… there won’t be anywhere else to go! Do you want to live the rest of your life as a coward?!”

“Captain Li! Your orders, please! The Federation dogs are grouping around the battleship!” It was the words of a communications operator that cut us off.

Quickly scanning my cone of vision, it seems like most have their eyes trained on us. “Use your head, Li! This is no time for fantasies. We aren’t living in a world where you can live with no repercussions.” The adjutant grips me tightly by the shoulders. His tone becomes as harsh as his piercing eyes. “The adult world is no place for children to carelessly throw away the lives of others! A brutal reality where kids like you are cut down without remorse. Don’t think you have the respect of me or the men just because you are Simon’s shadow.”

A careless child…?

A position of leadership without respect…?

Would the men even listen to me by now, if I ordered them to fight a battle that we could lose? If the Federation force broke off and regrouped, then there is a chance we could lose, no?

It could spell total annihilation if the Federation commanders execute good maneuvers. And look at us, literally at each other’s throats.

Maybe the Federation is right after all. Maybe we aren’t a threat. If the crew sees a split leadership, then it means they have to choose sides. That’s fundamentally a splintered bunch. Teamwork collapses, cooperation gives way to every man for himself.

Is it all fruitless…?

If all of this is caused by a meager battleship, then what would it mean to face an even bigger foe—to face the onslaught of a colonial force?

Is this the life I want to live…? A life on the run, where the only outcome is…

No. I don’t want that.

I push the adjutant away. “—We have to try If we can get close enough, the Federation will be unable to efficiently fire salvos, yes? I believe everyone here knows that the Federation does use the same arsenal as their colonial underlings…”

“Huh…?!”

“—Cut off their escape, and they’re essentially… what is that saying? Sitting birds…ducks? They would kill everyone with their missiles, us and them.”

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The adjutant says nothing. He stares at me with a gaping mouth, is he having a difficult time processing what I said?

“—And what do you hope to accomplish doing this?” He finally says after a moment of silence.

“We assault the battleship… and after that concludes, pray that the remnants of the fleet surrender. The less actual damage we do to the Federation ships, the better. It means additional ships for our arsenal.”

Ships with long-range missiles will be beneficial for us. And even if we deplete their ammo, we can always retrofit it to fit one of ours. Things like that can take time, though. Time is always against us, but at least there are always crowds of wicked individuals willing to join our cause.

“…Very well, Li. I put my faith that you can pull it off.” There is still a cast of doubt on the adjutant’s face as he utters those words.

“That is what I like to hear, now then…”

If the men under me resent or care for my actions matters not.

“All hands—

“Prepare for combat!”

What matters is fighting against the changing times!

“Report from Duran!” A communication operator reads off a slip of paper, “’We have secured the Federation rear after advancing through the missile salvo. Minimal losses. We have managed to keep a good distance to prevent them from continuing bombardment and breaking out. The distance permits us to fire without suffering from an exploding radius. We await further orders on how to proceed.’ This concludes Duran’s report.”

“Excellent” I rest my head on clasped hands, “Tell Duran to keep his current formation.”

“Right awa— huh?” Both the communication officer and the nearby adjutant crane their heads. “We—We aren’t… going to finish them off?”

Huh?

“I'm not sure I understand how you’re confused? I already mentioned we are going to assault the battleship. The battleship is the icon of their relief force. Take out the symbol of relief, and the Federation’s morale will plummet. If they do something stupid and try to breakthrough… then that is that. On the other hand, we take them all prisoner… and we get the ships. And what use is destroyed ships?”

“How do you plan to go about and assault it? You don’t mean to…?”

I can’t help but heave a sigh. How can these idiots accept what I say earlier but only now question it?

But… announcing it this way feels a bit embarrassing.

“I—I will lead boarding parties and take it by force.”

The two of them give me only surprised glares.

They don’t even need to say it—it’s ridiculous.

Who knows how many soldiers are stationed on that thing?

It’s no small merchant marine. There’s not going to be a handful of men on it.

“Captain Li—with all due respect—!”

“I’m—I’m aware it is a dangerous undertaking. There’s…”

“Hundreds, if not a thousand are aboard that battleship.” The adjutant cuts me off with an agitated tone. “I don’t think I can stand by and let you do this… never mind the fact I let slide prolonging this pointless battle.”

Pointless?

“Open communications with the Federation battleship and give them an ultimatum for surrender.” The adjutant walks past me and gives the order.

“Right away sir!”

What about this is a pointless battle…?

“Un—unidentified ships from our rear!!” A shout from another subordinate.

Huh…?!

“A new Federation force…?!” I utter with a gasp.

The radio operator scrambles to demand the identity of this new fleet that has entered the fray. Seconds pass. Minutes. The whole bridge is filled with a tense silence. Finally, the operator heaves a sigh and collapses in his chair. Another operator has to check his screen and turns to face the rest of us.

“It’s Dong Zhui’s fleet !”

I didn’t realize I was holding my breath in this whole time, and breath in the fresh air.

Talk about a sense of disbelief. But maybe my adjutant is right after all. Maybe it is a better idea to conclude this battle with the surrender ultimatum and disperse while we still can? A Ruthenian or another Federation task could arrive at any given second…

But will the battleship accept an ultimatum in the first place…?

“Has the battleship commander responded to the ultimatum?”

“Yes sir! Let’s see here… hm? It’s a fairly short message…” The communications operator peers closer to the decoded message he received, but he only looks confused.

“Well? What does it say?” My adjutant asks, and he snatches the paper from the operator. But it only takes a second for him to come to the same confusion; confusion.

“…I’m not sure what this implies.” He hands it over to me.

The message is a lot shorter than I imagined. In fact, it’s only one word. But it’s not the kind of word I would come to expect.

Nuts !

…Nuts? What is that supposed to mean?

“Could it be some slang for ‘no’? Those Metropol guys are odd... I believe you should transmit another message to ask for clarification.” I ask the communication operator, and he nods.

But again, it is the same message as before. Not so much in the way of what ‘nuts’ entails, either.

The battleship commander is either idiotic or simply acting brave for the sake of his men. But is he willing to die in the face of overwhelming odds? Is their unity that strong that they would forsake walking away to live another day—even if it meant as a prisoner—rather than face certain death?

“Zhui’s ship requests a communication channel!”

“Very well. Open it on a secure channel.”—Not that it matters much given our jamming efforts.

I wonder what he will think of my decision to assault the battleship? A sense of worry washes over me.

It’s not long before a video display of father comes on the screen. He looks rather impatient—agitated even. But maybe that’s just because of his deformed face.

My eyes dart all over the place. The very thought of having to stare at the hideousness is enough for me to lose appetite several times over. It’s a shock factor I can just never get over.

But with the growing waves of fellow pirates and civilians flocking to this monster’s banner, it’s no wonder how effective the intimidation is. But what use is intimidation if we do not capitalize on it more…? What use if we are taken more seriously by government officials…?

“There better be a good, wonderful reason why you have not annihilated the Federation lapdogs yet.”

I straightened my back and sigh. “I—I wish to storm the battleship, seize it, and force the rest of the fleet to surrender.”

Father peers closer at me and looks at the adjutant next to me.

“Hmmm, I believe my hearing has gone bad since I cannot fathom what was uttered by my wonderful daughter’s lips. I happen to take it you heard her loud and clear, Sergi?”

As if mimicking me, Sergi—my adjutant—straightens up attentively. He gives me an eyeful out the corner of his eye—if only for a fraction of a second—as he addresses father.

“Sir—sir, er… captain Li has expressed interest in boarding the battleship and taking it by force, it may look to be our only option because—”

『 BA—HA—HA—HA! 』

Eh?! The roar of laughter from father catches me off guard—indeed, the bridge collectively shivers.

“Oh, oh! I’m sorry, please! Please. Continue. Continue ! I implore you to. That was awfully rude of me to interrupt, no?”

“R—right, er…” Sergi loudly clears his throat and hesitantly speaks, “the Federation battleship has twice refused our demand to surrender. At your daughter’s suggestion, she has suggested—suggested… boarding it, to force them to… comply.”

There is a moment of silence after Sergi concludes. Father stares at the bridge with a blank expression—but then he flashes an eerily smile. “And, oh! Where do you intend on finding the manpower for such an endeavor, sweet daughter of mine?~”

Breaking free of my spell, I answer with meager confidence. “I will gather volunteers myself. If I may, I would like to also send the guards you have given me.”

The eerily smile snaps to a frown, and father leans into his monitor—and parts of me wishes he didn’t. I can’t bear to get a snapshot of his rotting flesh. “You intend to lead my best men into a suicidal assault? And all because a commander shrugged off a surrender offer? Do you take me for a fool?”

Of course not, but…

“I believe… if we can capture the… capture the battleship intact, we can use it to bolster our strength. Not only will we capture it, but the rest of the fleet without a fight as well. I value the lives of your men just as much as you do, father, with their help I can take on a thousand soldiers!”

Father lets out an impatient sigh and buries his head in his palm.

“Oh to hell with it! Do not fail me, Li… I entrust my men with your very life. If any number of them fall in battle…”

Father doesn’t finish the sentence. He gestures for someone to cut the transmission, and the last thing is a dubious glare.

“Well, the easy part is over. Now let’s assemble boarding parties. In the meantime position the Castelforte close enough to launch assault shuttles from.”

“Right away, captain Li!”

All in all, I’ve been told we could scrap together some six hundred men.

If we include the personal retinue that father bestowed upon me, that’s an additional sixty men. Although there was originally a fraction of that, Simon persuaded I am given more, and father reluctantly complied.

Simon… if you were here, would you agree with my plan? There wouldn’t be any other reason if you didn’t predict me to come up with a plan like this, would it?

“Captain Li! Report from the bridge; ‘The Castelforte and other mother ships have gathered at the vantage point and await the order to release their crafts’ This concludes the report.”

“Good, thank you, Sergi, what of Duran and the rear?”

“No reports from Duran. It is safe to believe the Federation has not attempted a breakout yet.”

“Naturally, they have no means of doing so besides ramming through. At that range, missile impacts would only result in mutual destruction.”

“Captain Li…”

“Yes, what is it, Sergi?”

The shuttle airlock shuts behind us with a sealing hiss. The shuttle has a gentle rock as our transport is loaded into launchers. All around us, troops double-check equipment.

“…Are you having second thoughts about this, Li?”

Second thoughts?

“Well… I am naturally nervous. I’m sure everyone is. This is my first time, after all.”

“…Captain, please do not word it that way, with a maiden such as yourself, it sounds…”

“…How do you mean, Sergi?”

Sergi blinks at the inquiry and clears his throat. “Ahem ! If you have no further doubts, then I suppose it is time to launch the assault, yes?”

“Indeed. I suppose it would not hurt to soften up the battleship with some of the smaller armaments…”

“Soften up?” Although the armored visor obscures his expression, it’s safe to say he’s confused.

“Just enough to cause some casualties. But not enough to obliterate the ship. I believe some of our ships were equipped with… what were they…”

“—miniguns?”

“Yes! Those should be enough to shred them at least a little bit. It might be dangerous though. If we’re not careful it could rip through most of the shred and decimate their engines or something.”

And that would be an uneventful explosion to be caught in.

“I see… captain, should I give the order?”

“If you could so please.”

Sergi relays the order, and after some time has passed, he signals to me the task is complete.

“Now then… give the order for the shuttles to launch—all hands! Brace for impact!”

A faint roar of engines. Rapid acceleration.

“Gh…!”

Even though I’m holding on to a handrail, the resulting g-force feels as the very bones of my body will be ripped through the armored suit.

“G….hhh!”

There are collective grunts in the cramped passenger compartment. I feel extra weight on my shoulder—and turning to see Sergi is trying to reassure me.

He mouths some words, but it’s impossible to make them out. But if I have to guess, it’s something along the lines of ‘are you alright?’, and impulsively I give a nod.

Then suddenly—

The shuttle shakes violently.

Everyone in the shuttle lurches forward.

Did we penetrate the battleship?!

From the very front, I can make out someone bark, “Go! Go!”

Nobody stops. The lurch forward caused by the ramming continues into a full-fledge rush into the interior the shuttle opened up to.

Some have already fallen. Some weren’t able to remain in sync and were trampled to death by their brethren. As tragic as it is, there are more pressing matters at hand.

The deafening small arms fire on top of howls of death drowns out any possibility of thinking straight.

Every hallway we enter is strewn with corpses or dying—friend and foe alike.

Every group we encounter—mercilessly cut down without a second thought. Their small-caliber handguns ricochet off our suit’s plating. If they’re lucky, there might be a marine with a submachine gun or rifle, but they are rare. The terrified looks in our foe’s eyes as they are slashed apart without a way to fend for themselves is oddly satisfying.

Satisfying?…

The image of that man… that man from years ago—the one who killed momma.

Papa.

My older brother.

“Kar…woski…”

With each Federation soldier downed, the blood-curdling screams of that devil conform into one—that of Karwoski’s.

The imagery of Karwoski imposes itself on each victim. Their face twists and morphs into his dreaded features.

It doesn’t matter anymore. I feel like I’m on autopilot. My movements and slashing motions no longer feel like my own. A spell, much like then—when that man—Zhui—provoked me into killing Karwoski...

A sense of possession, as if I am being manipulated—controlled by an otherworldly force. It all feels like a dream… an experience so surreal like none other.

Is this… what it means to lose your humanity?

To be lost in bloodlust?

To be consumed by hatred?

Is this… the culmination of my desires after all these years? Was Karwoski’s death itself not enough to satiate my anger? A form of cope… anger at my younger self for being unable to prevent it?

To kill Karwoski over again.

And over.

And over.

And over.

And over

And over, and over…

But does it make a difference?

The man is dead. He has been dead for the better part of a decade. I killed him with my own two hands. He bled out and choked to death on a wound I caused.

So then… why…?

“CAPTAIN LI!!!” The screams of Sergi brings me back to reality.

PANG

A bullet ricochets off my visor.

PANG

Another bullet ricochets—the force causes a large crack in the visor this time.

“Ug…h!”

The shock causes me to crash into the adjacent wall. Dozens of my men rush by, ignoring me as they keep the momentum.

Everything feels so hazy. I hear something muffled—followed by a presence next to me. The figure flicks off the hinges of my helmet and tosses it aside. After my eyes adjust to the room’s lighting, I realize the figure is Sergi… And he looks so worried.

My vision is completely hazy—not to mention a tingly feeling throughout my body, as if numb. I feel Sergi giving me a quick inspection before giving me gentle slaps on the cheek. He’s mouthing something, but it’s impossible to make out what he’s saying.

Sergi looks increasingly distressed, or so I think. He grits his teeth and utters one last thing before he rushes to join the others. Does Sergi intend for me to stay here…?

“N….ghh!”

I rise to my feet and prop myself against the wall for support. It doesn’t seem like I was hurt anywhere, thankfully. But just to be safe, I brush a hand against my face—no signs of injuries. But…

I could’ve died.

I should’ve died.

I reach down to slip on the helmet. Then, limping over to the slain soldier, I notice a small handgun next to him.

“Hmmpph…!” Leaning over in a pained grunt, I snatch it up for inspection.

“Heh…

“Hahahahahhahahah…”

To think this little thing could have ended my life right then and there. Devices like these can deliver a killing blow to another human being in a matter of seconds. In eons past, humanity had evolved to a point where even a single bomb can wipe out a major city, and indeed… the people of Terra had done such that, or so Simon says.

Simon…

What would Simon’s reaction be if I had died here on this battleship? Would he be devastated? Distraught? Relieved that he no longer has to look after a young woman? Anger at father? Would my death cause a rift between the two men; a rift that could see our fleet splinter?

If I saw Simon in the afterlife, would he demand I prostrate myself repeatedly?

“Haah…”

Holstering the gun, I pass through the battled corridors. With each hallway I pass, the amount of corpses is limitless. The sounds of gunfire seem so distant now… but the cries for loved ones are all around. Some are sprawled out on the floor, others writhing about; many more slumped against the walls clutching their wounds in vain.

But the sight of one particular individual catches my eye.

A rather lanky one. If I wasn’t so careful shuffling along, I would have tripped over his legs. But the man pays no notice.

Huh? He’s one of ours. The blood splatters made it hard at first to distinguish him from others. His right arm looks completely drenched in blood—but the soldier makes no effort to stop the bleeding.

“You—you there,” I utter. Through the partially shattered visor, soulless, beady black eyes shift their gaze to me. With his other arm, he reaches for a soldier’s pistol in an attempt to brandish it.

“It’s—it’s—it’s okay, I’m a… friendly.” I raise my arms to signal I’m unarmed. The soldier continues to point it at me, but lowers it—and it promptly clatters to the floor.

“That injury…you need to… ng..h,” I slump to his side. Looking around, I lean over to a nearby Federation soldier and rip fabric from his uniform as a makeshift bandage.

“Hold…still..!” The soldier squirms and stifles cries as I attempt to stabilize the wound. It’s a sloppy job, but…

“Just… let me… die.” The man whispers. His empty pupils squints at me in pain—pleading for me to spare saving him.

“You know… I can’t do that… I need you alive… I need all my men alive…Keeping everyone alive is my responsibility. If I… just… willingly… let you die—could I say… could I say I have any humanity left?”

For a moment, it seemed as if a spark of life rejuvenated in those eyes of his.

“What’s—what’s your name?” I ask, patting the bandaged shoulder. He lets out a small grunt but averts his eyes.

He mutters something, but it’s impossible to make it out.

“Come again?”

“Or….”

“Or?”

“Or—ca.”

“Orca…? That sounds like a nickname if anything… what’s your real name?”

Orca winces. His eyes dart around before we finally make eye contact.

“Do you mind if I take this off? It’s… hard to make out what you’re saying.”

Undoing the restraints, I slowly slide off his helmet—

“…!”

“…”

A woman?!

To make sure the cracked visor isn’t deceiving me, I yank off my mask and toss it aside. Orca looks at me with wide eyes.

Sure enough, Orca is a woman. With such pale skin, bobcat-like hair, and feminine facial features—there’s no mistaking it.

“Orca…” I began.

“Olga…

“You can call me…. Olga.” Her voice trembles.

“Olga… it’s a beautiful name.” I reply with a weak smile. Olga’s dull eyes shine once more, and she even begins to tear up.

“Can you stand? We should get moving. There’s no telling if any Federation soldiers are still roaming around.” I wipe away Olga’s tears and offer her a hand. Wincing, she steadies herself and stands up—and it only dawned on me just how tall Olga is!

“Hah… so much for the idea of shouldering you around… are you sure you can walk… Olga?”

Olga nods.

“Then… let us get going.”

It feels like hours have passed. I wonder how our assault parties are doing? Did we succeed? Did we fail? Are we alone in a mammoth ship, surrounded by overwhelming enemy forces?

Truth be told, I don’t know how to fire a gun. Olga is too injured to even consider a reliable defense, so who knows what will happen to us. I’m not even sure which way I am going any more in this labyrinth. Federation troops could pop out any angle—

“Hold it right there!”

A voice from behind us—Olga and I freeze in place.

It came from the other end of the hallway. There’s no way I can brandish the pistol in time—

“Turn around! Slowly, with your hands up!”

We do as we are told. It is a single Federation soldier with a rifle. The intent in his eyes is that of determination. “You there! The blonde. Raise your right arm!”

I failed to notice Olga’s injured arm is still at her side. “Do as I say, or I will shoot!” It’s impossible to tell Olga’s expression since I’m behind her…

“She can’t raise her arm above her head, it was shot to pieces—”

“I do not care! You will raise your arm or I will shoot!” The soldier shouts, keenly intent on brandishing his weapon. Olga extends her arms to the side. “Then shoot! If you wish to kill an unarmed, injured combatant!”

“Olga…!”

But just as the soldier is about to squeeze the trigger, a continuous alarm goes off.

“Attention—Attention…

“All personnel… the acting lieutenant commander has issued all personnel to stand down and surrender.”

“What the…!” The soldier aims at us again, and Olga and I brace for our fate. But just then, a rumble of footsteps forces the soldiers to panicky turnaround, and after an exchange of words with his new opponents opens fire. A second later, the foolish man crumbles to the floor, dead.

Olga and I collectively sigh and collapse to the wall next to us.

“Captain! Orca! It’s good to see you two well—hm?”

“Please… get Olga a stretcher if you can! She needs immediate medical attention.”

“Right away, captain! Oh… before I forget, your presence is requested at the bridge.” I

“The bridge?”

“Yes, captain! Simon and Zhui boarded some time ago and made their way there already. You know the way, yes?” He asks, and I shake my head in compliance. He hands me a map outlining the interior of the ship. “Now, then. We’ll be off to retrieve a stretcher for Orca here.” With nothing more to say the honcho departs from view. Olga and I are left alone among the dead.

“I suppose it can’t be helped… I will see you later… Olga.” I stand up and proceed to leave. But the faint voice of Olga stops me in my tracks.

“I… never got your name, cap’n.”

I see. I suppose there are still those in the fleet that aren’t aware of who I am. That’s a given, no? I don’t expect a lowly grunt to know the names or faces of everyone above him. If memory serves me right, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a lanky woman like Olga in the fleet before. She must be fairly new then, I take it?

“Li… Li Chou.”

“Li… I will remember it. Thank you, cap’n Li.”

“Please… just call me Li.

“…Take care, Olga.” And with that, I make leave.

Compared to the rest of the battleship, the bridge room is devoid of corpses. Perhaps it was tidied up before the arrival of father and Simon?

There are hardly any Federation soldiers left here. Along the way here I witnessed herds of prisoners being escorted to the shuttle areas. The only ones left here are a few important looking staff officers and who I believe is the acting lieutenant commander of the battleship. If he’s ‘acting’, then I suppose that means the previous commander must have perished in the struggle sometime before.

There are a few squads of father’s retinue standing at attention before the man in question. He seems… disturbed. But when his gazes shift to me, it vanishes with a wide grin.

“Oh! If it isn’t the star of the show—my beautiful and everloving daughter!” He roars with each approach, arms outstretched. “It is good to see you t—NGHH!” Father gives me a shattering bear hug—and I hear what I fear are a few pops.

“Did my sweet little princess enjoy her sunshine adventure?”

“—Ghhhhhh!” The questionable sounds of more pops.

“That’s enough, Zhui!”

Father releases grip, and I collapse to the floor in a confused daze. The gasps of air leave my chest heaving at a rapid pace.

“Tch… for the daughter bearing the Dong name, she’s pathetic.”

Pathetic?

“…I wish you wouldn’t say that about your daughter, Zhui.” It was that same voice again. There’s only one person who would dare address father like that—Simon?

The shuffles of father’s footsteps grow distant. I feel too light headed to make out anything—reality shifts in and out of focus.

“Daughter? Hmph… for someone under the Dong name, she sure is a worthless daughter. She can’t even keep a promise—a simple promise!—a promise! How hard is that to do?!” The flutter of arms as father continues—”I said to keep losses to a minimum! MIN—I—MUM! WHAT PART OF THIS IS MINIMUM! Count for me, Simon, if you may! Please! I beg you. What part of this is minimum?”

There is silence from Simon.

“Oh, oh! I forgot, my deepest apologies! There were originally sixty, were there not, Simon? Were there not originally sixty of my best men assigned to her? At your discretion? Sixty. Hm? IS THIS SIXTY FUCKING MEN, SIMON? Oh! Pardon me—pardon the language!—go ahead, Simon—with that refresher, go ahead! Count for me. A head-count of each and every one. Count your chickens! Or your eggs—or would the corpses be the eggs, hm? Do you want to count the corpses and the chickens, Simon? Should I get my beautiful daughter to count the ones she sent to their deaths without question?!”

“Thirty…” Simon mutters. I can’t see it, but I feel his gaze pierce through me.

“Hmm?” The shuffle of feet again. “I’m oh so sorry, Simon! Did you say something? Repeat that again, for the whole class! You said…?”

“Thirty-two, there are thirty-two men here accounted for… but, Zhui…”

“Thirty-two, wow! Thirty-two! I wonder where the other thirty-something went, eh? Do you think they just gave up and ran, Simon? You know, funny thing…

“When I merrily came here, do you know what I saw, Simon? What did I see on my merry way to the bridge, Simon, please, take a guess for me. An educated guess!”

Gathering what strength I have, I sit up straight to witness father standing behind Simon—frustration, a bite of the lip—clear across his face. I could even make out blood.

Simon…

“—All missing members belonging to the retinue, in some way or another.”

“…Tell me, Simon, those were some of our best men. The best! Through heaven and hell and all the way back. I believe some of them—” Father turns to face his guards “were even with us when we were little babes—no older than my beloved daughter. Tell me, Simon…

“—Do you think they regret their actions? Do you think they died believing they accomplished much? Did they kneel over thinking the capture of this battleship was worth the tradeoff?”

“Zhui, that is enough.”

“—Simon, do you think the men resent her for killing Karwoski?”

Tgh…! Just the utterance of the name is enough for me to—

“Do you think if Karwoski was still alive… any of this would happen? Would we be in this same exact predicament we are now?”

A heavy feeling resonates from my chest, the same feeling from before… as if someone is gripping my very heart.

“If you ask me… Simon…” Father’s hulking back faces me.

I can’t stop this frenzy sensation—it feels like a stronger agitation than before. Gradually, I rise to my feet. Simon hasn’t caught on yet—and neither have the guards.

“I think you should have left little babe Li for dead, eh? It was a mistake to let her live—and let Karwoski die. I made a bad judgment call—you think so too, right, Simon?”

This was enough. I couldn’t bear to hear any more out of my father’s mouth—no, this monster’s mouth.

A rapid unsheathe of my bloodied axe…

A step forward.

The exploding instinct I haven’t felt in years—not since that moment I killed that terrified man. Nothing like the experience cutting down Federation soldiers. The untold amount of Karwoski's’ I cut down, time and again cannot compare to this very moment. A moment that feels like an eternity.

Each step an interval that lasts for seconds—minutes—hours.

The slow-motion reactions of the others. The guards fail to register what is happening before it is too late.

Fathe—the monster, turns to me with a started look—but no fear—and twists into anger. Not fear. Anger. As he unsheathes his weapon.

Our wide eyes lock onto each other. The ugly monstrosity of the one I considered a father twists and morphs into an ogre. A demon. A distorted face that resembles Karwoski. But it’s not fear. Anger.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

“LI, WHAT ARE YOU—”

The sight of cold steel obscures my vision—and then red.

Red. That dark shade I’m all too familiar with. The same color as the pool of liquid that momma lied in, all those years ago.

I’m… sorry… momma…

I’m… sorry… Simon…

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