Chapter 12 - The Sentient Artifact

After getting back to the shack, Zephyr had not returned yet, so I spent the time examining the book I’d brought with me from my Soul Forging. I still could not quite believe it was completely blank. I felt there was an important secret to be solved here.

After a couple hours of scrutiny, however, I could find nothing.

Sighing in frustration, I set the book down on the desk and took out the manuscript I’d received as a quest reward. I’d be able to unlock its secrets once I level up - which would happen any moment now. The timer was almost up. I had timed events so that I would finish the quest, “The Power of Capitalism” right before going hunting.

I carefully set down the manuscript on the desk, next to the book, and decided I could use a little fresh air. I’d spent far too long pent up inside trying to solve the riddle of the book.

A fresh, cool breeze was blowing and I could see the stars illuminating the clear evening sky. From inside I could hear the quiet snoring from Sol and Reaver. Those two seemed to be inseparable. That would be good for them as I put them through my hellish training. I had a specific training menu in mind already, and they would need every iota of strength and willpower they could muster to keep up. In the army, they had not called me the watchdog from hell for nothing.

I’d let them rest for today, but from tomorrow I’d let them taste hell. Heh. Heheheh.

While I was busy imagining the different training menus from hell I’d put that pair through..

*Ttirring*

You have successfully completed a quest: “The Power of Capitalism.”

The Power of CapitalismDifficulty: DDescription:

Few powers on Aeterna can match the impact a singular concept has made upon the history, culture and inclination of all its sentient beings: that of selling and buying. Whether the coin is gold, valuables, favors, pride, reputation.. Ultimately, there’s little difference. One constant remains.

Money is power. Goals:

Earn some money.

The more money you earn at once, the higher the rewards.

While not necessarily an “essential” building block on the road to happiness, money is nonetheless, a weighty factor which cannot be understated. That said, remember it is a double-edged sword.

Go forth, then, on to the pursuit of money.Requirements:

Must not use violence in any shape or form.

Must adhere to the standards of local law and custom.

Must acquire permanent material wealth.

Quest Rewards:

500 XP

25% increased XP gain for the next 72 hours.

25% increased drop rate for the next 72 hours.

Zephyr’s loyalty increased by 200

*TIRRING!*

]Congratulations! You have earned a new trait: “Overachiever!”.

Trait Name:Trait Rank:Trait Level:Trait Experience:OverachieverF21%By consistently reaching beyond what seems logical, reasonable or even possible, you have proven you have what it takes to be a lifetime overachiever. To the victor go the spoils!

Strength bonus: +2

Agility bonus: +1

Constitution bonus: +1

Intelligence bonus: +1

Wisdom bonus: +1

Charisma bonus: +1

Luck bonus: +1

Perfect timing! A bonus to experience and drop rates for the next three days! That was an incredible boon! I would put it to good use. This new trait was incredible as well. It was almost like another level all by itself, and it had started in rank 2 instead of 1! It was definitely worth going the extra mile when completing quests. Not only that, but with that much XP..

*TIRRING!*

Congratulations! You have gained enough experience to reach level 3!.

Finally! Level 3! That meant I could put 5 more points into intelligence and decipher the manuscript! I wondered what secret skills the Umeji clan had left behind. I immediately headed back inside to do just that.

“What?!”

The manuscript was gone! I had placed it on the desk right next to the red tome not 5 minutes ago! There was only one entrance and I’d been standing right on top of it. Sol and Reaver were still happily snoring away. What was going on here?

I searched the drawers, looked behind the desk, rummaged through my pack, and I still couldn’t find a trace of the manuscript. It was enough to drive a man insane. What was going on here?

Even after waking up Sol and Reaver, neither had a clue of where the manuscript had gone. I couldn’t believe it. I had just left it on the desk. I was still furiously searching every nook and cranny in the house when Zephyr arrived.

“Lord Seth, is something the matter?”

“I.. arg, do you have anything like djinns or ghosts haunting your house that would scamper around stealing items?”

Zephyr stood there just looking at me as though he were worried I might have overdosed on that salve of his.

“Nevermind.” I just could not understand what had happened. The secret skills of the Umeji clan.. gone. In truth, I didn’t expect any world-changing skills from such a simple quest reward, but it was still something related to my class, if vaguely. “If I ever catch that thief though, I will tear him limb from limb and use the remains to..”

Just then, I heard a sound like a sob from somewhere near the table.

“Wha..? Was that.. Zephyr?” I looked at the priest-turned-merchant.

Zephyr rapidly shook his head at me. “I believe the sound originated from that side of the room, Lord Seth.”

I nodded towards the desk. There was no room for anything to hide under or behind it. That could only mean.. the book?!

I cautiously approached it and examined it more closely. Now that I paid closer attention, it seemed to have shifted slightly from the place where I had left it. Not only that, but it seemed to irradiate warmth where before it had simply been a book. What was going on here? A cursed item?

I drew my dagger and poked at its spine. I did not expect what happened next.

“OOOWWW!” The gold sigils on its cover turned a deep purplish color and formed themselves into the outlines of a sad face smiley.

=(

I reeled back in shock, almost tripping over myself as the voice, almost that of a small child, resonated from - that’s right, the book! Now, of all things, it started to cry in earnest!

“Waaaah!” Of course, the smiley on the book’s cover had changed accordingly.

=---(

“What in the world..?” I glanced sideways at Zephyr, who looked as perplexed as I was, though his eyes had something more along the lines of awe and wonder in them than the bewilderment I was feeling.

“Sh.. shut up!” I shouted, unable to bear it any longer. If anything annoyed the living crap out of me, it was crying. Unfortunately, that only made it worse.

“Uwaaaaaaaaah!”

Holy.. I covered my ears with my hands and looked for the nearest source of fire so that I could dispose of this artifact of the devil with all due haste!

“There, there,” said Zephyr, who slowly approached the book, still with that look of awe in his face. The book was shaking uncontrollably, and there were even tears gathering in a pool around it. It didn’t make any sense! The book didn’t even have any eyes - except for that silly smiley face - for crying out loud! That’s exactly what it was doing though, and the sound was driving me insane.

“Stop it! I don’t care what you have to do. Gah, I’ll just stab it with my..” I raised my dagger. That was my first response to any emergency. If it hurts, stab it untill it stops.

Zephyr swiftly turned around and interposed himself between me and the book. “Now now, let us not be hasty, Lord Seth. This may be a priceless artifa..”

“Waaaah, mommy doesn’t love Shia!” came the wailing voice from the book.

Zephyr and I both turned around to look at it with equally dumbfounded confusion in our faces.

“Did.. did it just call me..?”

“Mommy?” nodded Zephyr, hesitantly.

“Mommy, Shia’s sowwy.. waaaah.”

I looked around the room, feeling more panicked than when Tarik had been about half a second from driving a foot of steel through my chest. Zephyr was looking at me with something akin to amusement in his eyes, and both Sol and Reaver were openly snickering at my expense. “Mo.. mommy?”

“uh.. uh-huh.. sob sob” came the reply.

“Wa.. wait a second. I’m your mommy? How.. before that, who the hell.. ah, who are you?” I asked, very slowly and in measured tones.

“I’m.. uwa.. I’m mommy’s child. Shia!”

“Child? You’re.. you’re a book!” I blurted out, unable to hold myself back.

“Waaaaah, mommy’s mean..” wailed the book once more, and a fresh torrent of tears splashed about the desk.

D---=

“S.. stop. Wait. I didn’t mean it. Ah, damn it.. arg, here, here, stop crying. C’mon, stop.” I entreated. Anything to stop that noise!

“Is.. is mommy not mad anymore..?” sniffled the voice..

“N.. no. M.. mo..” I quickly glanced at the others in the room, promising swift retribution should they even think of making a joke out of this. “Mommy is not mad.” I laid a hand on the book and patted it awkwardly. It felt wet and mushy to the touch. Ugh.

“Sniffle.. promise?”

“Yes, promise.” I grated out.

“Even if Shia ate mommy’s favorite book?”

“You.. what?! No, no, wait. I.. I am not mad. I’m not mad. Not at all,” I repeated, more to myself than for anyone else’s benefit, focusing on my breathing. After a moment or two, I calmed down and no longer felt a homicidal impulse to start tearing apart the damn book from cover to cover.

“Now, tell me. Why did you.. eat.. my book?” I managed not to choke on the words. Barely.

“Because.. Shia was so hungry. Mommy didn’t feed me for days!” There was accusation in that tone.

“I’m supposed to feed you? You don’t even have a mouth!”

“Mommy’s mean again.. uw..” Shia took a deep breath. Wait, could a book even take a breath? Well, if it could talk, then plausibly it could breathe. Although what the implications were.. Ah, there were more urgent matters to attend to for now.

“Wait! Hold up, I didn’t mean it. Don’t cry! What I wanted to say was, you.. I didn’t know you needed food.”

“Of course Shia needs food. Shia’s still growing!”

I slapped a hand to my face and massaged my temples. What in the world was this? A talking book? What was I going to do with a baby book?

“Incredible. It seems you are in possession of the rarest artifacts of all. A fully sentient artifact!” came Zephyr’s comment, awe in his voice.

Wait, that was true. By all evidence, Shia seemed to be a fully sentient being. A sentient item was the rarest and most powerful artifacts one could find in a fantasy setting. I slowly opened my eyes and gazed at the book, running down all the ramifications of this singular fact at the speed of lightening.

“Umm.. mommy’s looking at Shia with scary eyes..” came the voice from the book, hesitation in its tone.

“Ah, Lord Seth. You.. are you alright?” I turned my eyes to Zephyr, and even he flinched away.

“Well, of course! Everything is wonderful!” I cried, genuine glee lifting my voice higher than I’d anticipated.

“.. Mister can be really scary when it comes to pricey things..” whispered Sol to no one, not quite low enough.

“.. whimper..” came Reaver’s reply, his tail tucked between his legs.

I clapped my hands together. “Come now, we’re almost a family here. Now, Shia, my beloved daughter, tell me a little more about yourself.”

“Umm.. Shia likes books. Scrolls are good too! Maps are okay, but sometimes they’re covered in grime and dust. Eww..”

“Ah, no. I meant, what can you do. What sort of powers do you possess?”

“Shia.. can talk. Shia can also listen! Shia has good memory too. Shia can eat lots of books. Like, a whole library full of books. 10 libraries. Books about history. Yummmm. About magic. They give me a fuzzy feeling in my stomach.”

I didn’t point out that Shia didn’t have a stomach, not really. I listened patiently, however.

“.. Books about numbers sometimes give me a headache, but they’re delicious! Then there’s books about animals and plants and rocks. They all taste wonderful and give me a tingly feeling in the arms..”

“Ah,” I interrupted gently. “Besides eating precious tomes of knowledge and wisdom.. what else can you do?”

“...”

“...”

“Umm.. Shia doesn’t know,” came the hesitant reply from Shia.

I had expected as much by this point. Of course, I get one incredibly rare sentient artifact, and it’s the one with the retarded mind of a 6 year old. I tried not to sigh too deeply, lest it start to cry again.

“That’s alright Shia. We’ll figure it out slowly,” murmured Zephyr consolingly. He was good at this.

Me? I’ve killed far more people with my bare hands than I can remember children’s faces. For some reason they just annoy the living crap out of me. They’re utterly selfish, self-serving and shameless attention whores. You had to look after them, feed them, clothe them, then watch them grow up to become ungrateful little bastards like I’d turned out.

Poor gramps. He deserved so much better than what he got.

He got me.

I shook my head free of those dark thoughts, and nodded to Shia.

“Alright Shia, for now, you’re not allowed to eat anything without my permission. Understood?”

“Okay! Shia is a good girl. She’ll obey mommy!” came the instant reply.

“Shia.. don’t call me mommy. I’m Seth,” I instructed.

“Shia likes mommy better!” came the cheerful voice.

“No, Seth.” I grated out.

“Uwa.. is mommy.. mad?” murmured the book, tears in her voice.

“No, no! I’m not.. agh, mommy is not angry. Alright?”

“Phew, good. Shia doesn’t like mommy when mommy's mad.”

I sighed heavily, then glared daggers around the room as I heard something dangerously close to laughter echoing from the walls. That only made it worse.

“Shia is.. yawn.. full for now. Shia is.. ahhhh.. sleepy..”

Soon enough, the soft sounds of a child’s gentle snoring could be heard.

“The artifact seems to have been under considerable stress, Lord Seth. It seems to have stabilized for now. I would advise you to employ the utmost of caution when dealing with sentient artifacts. Though their might and value is indisputable, they can also summon the most dire and unpredictable of circumstances. Rarely does power come without a price, Lord Seth. Please heed my warning.”

Slowly, I nodded to Zephyr.

“For now, let’s just try to keep Shia from eating more priceless books and wailing the roof down around our ears.”

“As you say, Lord Seth,” Zephyr agreed easily.

I turned around to face the still-snickering Sol and Reaver - though how a dog can snicker is beyond me. Damn magical beasts. Bah!

“Alright, show’s over for you two. Go back to sleep. We leave before dawn tomorrow.”

Sol’s face lit up with excitement, “So where are we going?”

I grinned with the first genuinely happy thought of the whole night.

“Oh, you’ll love it.. I know I will,” I replied, veritably shaking from the anticipation.

I hated children, and here I was saddled with three of them. One was covered in fur and drool, and another was a glutton for priceless treasures of knowledge and wisdom. The only slightly normal one was a mystery child who had bought me a duel to the death with one of the deadliest hunters in the land - all in the first day I’d been in Aeterna.

“Hell. We’re going straight to hell," I finished, unable to keep down the grin that split my face from ear to ear. Fufufu, I was going to enjoy this.

Ah, I'm a sick bastard sometimes. So sue me.