《The Legendary Heroes are Slacking Off [Isekai System LitRPG/Progression Fantasy]》17. Onsen Episode
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Gale sunk into the hot water. Steam rose off the water, wafting into the slowly setting sun. The dust of the road floated off him, and he sighed out, exhausted. “Ahhh…”
Kino jumped in beside him. A wave of hot water washed over Gale. Annoyed, he splashed at Kino. “Hey!”
Kino laughed and kicked away, doggy-paddling through the water. The towel he’d tied firmly about his waist to hide his tail floated with him as he swam. “This is great. Way better than a bucket. Why doesn’t everyone use hot springs all the time?”
“Well… we don’t have hot springs all over the place. You need to have some geothermic action going on to get hot springs,” Gale explained.
“Eh?” Kino tilted his head.
Gale paused, then considered. “Er… right! Lava’s near the surface, and it heats the water, so hot water wells up to the surface.”
Kino’s hair bristled. “Lava? We’re on a volcano?”
“Kind of? Not really,” Gale said, waving his hand. “I wouldn’t worry about it.”
Kino gave him a look that suggested he was very worried.
Gale glanced around. A few others used the hot springs with them, but most ignored the two of them. A few cast glances at the hats both wore, but no one commented on them. Gale adjusted his hat and sunk down. I guess no one cares.
A shadow passed overhead. Gale glanced up and caught a glimpse of a harpy. A second later, the monster landed next to him. A male harpy, it bowed to him and Kino. “Dear customers, is there… anything you need?”
“Are you okay? Is Tim treating you well?” Gale asked, looking at him.
The harpy twitched. He spread his wings, ready to fly away.
“Wait, wait. We’re monsters, too!” Kino hissed. He tipped his hat back, giving the harpy a glimpse of his ears. Gale, too, lifted a corner of his hat.
The harpy froze. “You—you need to run! Get out of here, before he traps you, too!”
“Traps us?” Kino asked, startled.
“What do you mean? What happened?” Gale asked, leaning in.
The harpy flicked his eyes around. He leaned in, raising a wing to cover his mouth. “After he defeated the dungeon boss, he forced us all to acknowledge him as the new dungeon boss. But instead of keeping the dungeon healthy, he flooded it and used the lava feature to create these damned springs! Like demons, we dungeon monsters need the dungeon miasma to survive. With the dungeons flooded, only one chamber remains for us to breathe in miasma, and Tim only lets us in once a week… if we’re lucky! If we misbehave, or do anything he doesn’t like…” He flicked his eyes toward the corner.
Gale followed his gaze. A goblin wobbled along, tongue hanging out, eyes unfocused. He stumbled, then toppled over, falling in a mess of limbs.
“He hasn’t been allowed inside in a month. He… probably isn’t long for this world,” the harpy sighed, shaking his head.
Kino jumped out of the spring.
Gale grabbed his leg. “Kino, no!”
Before Kino could kick free, a pair of larger goblins grabbed the smaller one and carried him through a staff door, out of sight.
“Why?” Kino asked, angry.
“We want to help them all, not just one! If we move now, we lose the chance to poke around and figure out how we can take this whole place down, all at once!” Gale hissed.
“Can we?” Kino grumbled, sliding back into the spring.
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The harpy hesitated. “There… might be a way.”
“Oh?” Gale asked.
“The dungeon boss… didn’t recognize Tim as her successor. If her true successor can be brought back to the dungeon and allowed to absorb the dungeon core… she might stand a chance against the terrible monster Tim!” the harpy declared.
“Her true successor?” Gale asked.
The harpy nodded. “Her daughter. A girl with beautiful wings, just like her mother’s. She escaped in a magic cloak that allows her to blend in with humans, though, so that’s no use.”
Gale frowned. A girl in a cloak… oh! “Is it green? Uh, scalloped edges, a kind of rounded fringe, you know?”
The harpy’s eyes lit up. “That’s her! If you bring her back and have her absorb the core, she’ll become a true dungeon boss again. Without his underhanded tricks, Tim stands no chance against a true boss!”
“Hey! Chicken-boy! Fresh towels over here!” one of the patrons called.
The harpy bowed to the other patrons, then apologetically to Gale and Kino. “Sorry, I have to go.”
Gale nodded. “We’ll find her. We’ll find her, and free you all from this place!”
The harpy lifted a wing in a short salute as he flew off.
As the harpy flew off, Kino sunk in the water, pouting. “This is no fun. I was enjoying myself, but now…”
“I know. Should we get out?” Gale suggested.
Kino nodded glumly.
Out of the bath, Gale dressed quickly. Kino, too, quickly swapped his towel for his clothes, glancing around to ensure no one glimpsed his tail mid-change. A this hour, people passed them by, heading into the baths, but relatively few followed them out of it.
They emerged from the hotel onto the streets. Gale glanced around, then nodded at Kino. “We should split up and look for that girl the harpy mentioned. I saw her earlier somewhere around where you found the meat snacks. Her cape is green and comes down just below her butt, curving up toward the front so the edge lays at her wrist at the sides. I didn’t see much of her face, but she’s small, smaller than me. Very delicate.”
“What did she smell like?” Kino asked.
Gale paused, taken aback. “Er… I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” It was Kino’s turn to be taken aback. He stared at Gale with a flabbergasted expression, as if he’d never encountered such a thing before.
“I mean… I don’t usually… er, smell people too closely,” Gale said. “She didn’t have a notable scent, if that’s what you mean?”
Kino shook his head firmly. “Everyone has a notable scent. Like you. You smell like elf and iron and trees. It’s particularly noticeable because elves don’t usually smell like metal, but you’re a Bl—…” He glanced around, then winked at Gale. “Because of who you are, you smell like metal.”
“What about that harpy?” Gale asked, curious.
“He smelled like feathers and seed and leather!”
“And uh, those guys in the bath?”
Kino tilted his head. “The ones who called the harpy chicken boy?”
Gale nodded.
“Beef, sweat, horse, and… the springs smelled like sulfur, so… but if I smelled them again, I’d know it was them!”
Gale rubbed the back of his neck. “Elves… aren’t that good at smelling, so… sorry.”
“Well, that’s fine. Just be sure to smell them next time!” Kino said, nodding.
I’m pretty sure I’d get called a criminal if I went around sniffing people… Gale smiled. “I’ll do my best.”
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“Meet back here?” Kino asked.
Gale nodded. “If you find her… give a shout!”
The two split up. Gale wandered around the heart of the city, while Kino sprinted to the outskirts and darted from forested patch to forested patch, reverting from his human form to his ermine form to cover ground more quickly. Between the two of them, they covered the entire city. As the sun set, they returned to the front of the inn.
“Nothing,” Gale said, shaking his head.
“Without her scent… it’s too hard,” Kino said. He hung his head, defeated.
Gale sighed. “If only I had something…” He touched his arm, then shook his head again. Maybe before I washed up, her scent might have been on my arm, but after the bath… no chance.
A goblin edged up to them. Dressed in a ridiculously over-formal doorman’s outfit that didn’t fit right, with striped blue pants and a purple vest, he glanced at the two of them. “Are you looking for… our lady?”
“The girl in the green cloak?” Gale asked.
The goblin raised a finger to his lips and stared around them warily. “Shh!”
Gale put his hands over his mouth.
Nodding in approval, the goblin thumbed over his shoulder, around the corner. “There’s a tiny cave just outside the main cave that bastard Tim doesn’t know about where a little miasma gathers. It’s not much, but it’s enough to sustain one monster.” He tossed Gale a knowing wink. Leaning down, he quickly sketched a map in the dirt, showing a way up the path, around the corner, and into a copse of trees. “There’s a ravine here where the dungeon comes close to the surface. If you go in there, you should find her!”
Gale’s eyes widened. Dungeon monsters can’t survive without miasma, the same as demons. She’s a dungeon monster, so she has to replenish her miasma somewhere. No matter what, she’ll show up there! He nodded to the goblin doorman. “Thank you.”
The goblin tugged at his cap. “Nothing worth thanking me for. I’m just hoping a couple of enterprising young monsters like yourself might… help a bit.”
“You can tell?” Kino asked, eyes wide.
The goblin tapped his nose. “Smelled ya. You start thinking I’m a nose-blind human, just cuz I’m wearing this shit?”
Kino shook his head vigorously. “I’d never be so rude!”
Chucking under his breath, Gale nudged Kino. “Come on, let’s go. Before that bastard Tim figures out we’re up to something!”
“Yeah!”
The two ran off. The goblin sighed. The second they passed out of sight, he trembled and sagged against the wall, exhausted. A man drew up beside him, and he stared up at him. “You’ll let me… into the miasma now, right?”
Tim chuckled low in his throat, a deep, dangerous sound. “Once the boys are captured… then you’ll get your miasma. In fact, if everything you’ve told me is true, you might even get a vacation day out of it.”
The goblin’s eyes lit up. “A whole day off! Your magnificence, please!”
Ignoring him, Tim turned to stare after the two. “A Legendary Hero and a beastfolk. If you simply passed through, I wouldn’t bother to raise a hand against you. But you threaten to destroy my entire livelihood, tear apart the town I founded, steal my source of revenue out from under me and deprive my underlings of their salaries… and worst of all, reinstate that disgusting dungeon, then I’m afraid I can’t help but crush you.”
Tim smiled darkly. “And I might as well finally crush that horrid baby boss at the same time and destroy the final threat to my fortune. A few idiot underlings might rebel, but it’s fine. She’s served her purpose. After allowing those fools to taste a hint of hope… it’s time to pluck the fruit of hope and quash it under my heel. Remind them what happens to those who dare dream of rebellion.”
The goblin nodded, clasping his hands together and gazing up at Tim hopefully.
Tim stared after the boys for another second, then clopped away, slippers sliding along beneath his feet. He yawned and rubbed his neck. “Damn, I’m tired.”
--
Gale and Kino ran out of town. Kino bounced and galloped, sometimes running on three legs, clearly desperate to swap forms. The second forest loomed, Kino leaped into it and transformed, gesturing for Gale to hop on his back. “Let’s go, let’s go!”
Gale hopped on. “Go!”
Kino raced through the woods. Hunkering low on his back, Gale peered out at the world, squinting as trees raced past. Faster and faster, until everything became a blur. They charged through a plains, past a wandering farmer who threw himself to the side with a startled shriek. Further, further, until the copse of trees appeared on the horizon. A narrow grouping, it stood alone in the otherwise featureless plains. The trees twisted bizzarely, their trunks fat and thick, gnarled all over. Thick bark and many holes great and small opened on the trees. Stumpy limbs reached upward, covered in slender branches that sprouted from numbs on the libs, almost like skeletal fingers.
“Over there!” Gale called.
Kino nodded and turned toward it, paws beating a staccato pace over the ground.
The closer they grew, the more sinister the trees became. Dark and shadowed, they glowered at the two of them, emanating danger. I wouldn’t want to come here at night, Gale thought to himself.
“I wonder if it’s the influence of the miasma that made them like that?” Gale muttered.
“Miasma twists things that aren’t adapted to it,” Kino replied, nodding.
“So it’s definitely the right place,” Gale replied.
They burst into the glen. From the outside, it hadn’t appeared large, but from within, space seemed to stretch. What looked like a stand about five, ten trees wide and twenty trees long reached out a hundred feet in either direction.
In the center of the trees, a deep cleft cut into the earth. As if gashed by a sword, it plunged directly into the ground. Sheer cliff faces made up its walls. A few stones jutted out of the wall, offering scant climbing stones. The ravine descended twenty feet into the earth at its deepest. Dark smoke swirled in its depths.
“There’s the miasma,” Kino said. He slowed to a halt.
Gale hopped off his back. “Miasma… but not our girl.”
He hesitated a moment, staring down into the ravine. Kino stared down beside him, thoughtful. At last, Gale spoke.
“So… do we have to head down there?”
Kino shrugged. “What would that do?”
“The goblin said there’s a cave at the bottom of this. What if she’s hiding in the cave?”
“That’s… a good point!” Kino said. Still in ermine form, he ran to the ravine and scurried down the walls, as surefooted as he’d been in the forest.
“Hey—” Gale sighed, then slowly lowered himself into the ravine. At least it’s not that deep.
At the bottom, Kino stood up to his full height. “Gale! There’s a cave!”
“Coming!” Gale called back.
Another few feet down the wall, paws suddenly grabbed him. He glanced down. Kino stood on his tiptoes and grabbed him around the waist, lowering him to the floor. “There you go.”
“Thanks, Kino.”
Gale looked around. The bottom of the ravine was littered with bones and loose stones. Human, monster, and animal bones all cluttered together. From above, the dark smoke obscured everything, but once Gale stood inside it, the smoke no longer presented a barrier. Opposite the bones, a narrow doorway carved into the stone led into darkness. Gale looked at the darkness, then back at Kino.
“Ready to enter a dungeon?”
Kino shivered. “I don’t know… I’m only level four…”
Gale laughed. “We aren’t really entering a dungeon. Just a small disconnected cave.”
“Oh, that’s true!” Kino said, perking up.
Even so, it’s still a dungeon. Gale stared at the dark doorway, then took a deep breath. He looked at Kino and nodded, then stepped over the threshold.
The second he stepped inside, fungi flickered to life inside the cave. A blue-green bioluminescence lit a narrow, deep space. The opening cavern spread out about ten feet in all directions, whittling at the end into a thin passageway.
Though the cavern’s floor was stone, dirt spread into the cavern from its entrance. Gale knelt, looking closely at the dirt. He raised his hands to one of the tracks. A small footprint, barely bigger than his hand, stood out amongst the spreading dirt.
He stood. “She’s been here.”
Kino looked around, raising his nose to the air. He sniffed. “Fungi… dirt… feathers and cloth. I smell… a person. It could be her.”
“If we can’t find her here, at least we’ve found a lead.” Gale looked at the narrow passage leading deeper into the cave.
Kino followed his gaze. Both of them hesitated, uncertain.
“I’m level four. You’re level four. Tim already cleared out the boss and most of the dungeon. It can’t be too dangerous,” Gale reasoned.
“We’ll run away if it gets scary. We don’t have to beat any monsters,” Kino replied.
Motion flickered in the passageway. Kino jumped in front of Gale. “Who is it?” he shouted, voice cracking.
A shadow moved toward the light. Gale tensed. He raised his dagger to his palm.
The girl stepped out of the passageway, green cape fluttering. She turned toward them. Golden eyes flashed in the blue-green light. From under the deep, angled hood of the cape, a faint glimmer of feathers appeared, in the place of her hair. She stared at the both of them silently.
“Are you… the boss’s child?” Gale asked, stepping forward.
Kino bristled. He backed away slightly. “Gale… she’s strong!”
The girl dipped her head slightly. “My name is Zephyr. I will be the next boss!”
“No, you won’t.”
All three of them whirled. Magic shimmered in the doorway, falling off of Tim as he appeared in full. “Damn teleportation spells… fuck off, magic.”
“You… betrayal!” Zephyr shouted, jumping back.
“No! He must have followed us!” Kino said.
Gale sliced his hand, whirling toward Tim. He threw a spear of blood at the man.
Tim flicked his finger at Gale. A spark flew off his fingertip and flew at Gale.
Gale frowned. Is that the best he’s got?
“Get back!” Kino shouted, tackling Zephyr into the passage.
If Kino thinks it’s dangerous… it probably is! Gale gestured. The spear turned and absorbed the spark instead.
In that instant, the spark roared into a huge fireball. Gale threw himself back, into the gap. Blood flew from his hand and filled up the gap. The fireball burned through the blood coating it, then danced through the air and flew at the gap in the wall. It slammed into the blood barrier.
Tim clicked his tongue and snapped his finger, empowering the fireball. “It’ll burn until you die. Give in already. I’ve got, like, ten levels on you.”
Gale’s blood barrier trembled. His blood dried, and his HP fell at a staggering pace. In an instant, Gale’s face paled.
“Gale!” Kino shouted, scared.
Gale grabbed a potion and chugged it down. “I’m fine!” he hissed. Burned blood rained down, scattering over the floor. Even as his HP replenished, it continued to tick down.
Glancing at the charred blood, Gale’s eyes glittered. “Kino! Roll around in the ashes.”
“Eh? Why?” Kino asked.
“Just do it!” Gale insisted. He shifted closer, allowing the char to fall on him, as well.
Kino hesitated, then leaped into the char and rolled around. It stuck on his fur. Some still remained a bit wet, and matted his fur down.
Kino frowned. “My fur… I just cleaned it!”
“Shush!” Gale looked at Zephyr. “Pin her. If she’s still standing, it won’t work!”
Zephyr squawked. She turned and sprinted.
Kino’s eyes flashed with predatory instinct. He leaped into the air and tackled her again, gripping her with all four stubby limbs. She struggled, but he rolled on top of her, pinning her with his weight.
Zephyr wriggled and squeaked, eyes gleaming with fear and fury.
“Shh! Lay still!” Gale snapped. We can’t take on Tim. We only have one chance!
The fireball began to peter out. Gale tackled Kino to the ground and dropped his blood shield. The last of the fire hit him, a blast of searing heat. Gale trembled in pain, but forced himself to bear it. I have potions! It’ll be fine!
Tim stepped forward. He peered into the gap, at the three bloodied, singed bodies. “Gross. Alright, that should be good. But just in case…”
Light flashed. Tim vanished.
Gale sat up. Under him, Kino sat as well, releasing Zephyr, who leaped away.
“Good idea! Now he thinks we’re dead,” Kino said happily. He shook himself, ridding himself of the worst of the dried blood.
Chugging a second potion, Gale wiped his mouth. “Yep. Now we can—”
Loud rumbling sounded from the entrance of the cave. The earth trembled, shaking all over. Cracks burst through the ceiling. A huge boulder slammed into the ground in the ten-by-ten chamber, kicking up dust.
Gale jumped up. “Is he—can he—cave us in?”
“Earthquake! A level six spell!” Kino shouted.
“This way!” Zephyr snapped, racing deeper into the darkness.
More cracks split open the ceiling. They burst overhead, snaking into the sub-passage. Gale turned and sprinted off, Kino just ahead of them. Behind them, stones hurtled from the ceiling and smashed into the earth. Ahead, Zephyr half-ran, half-glided through the air. Kino caught up with her and sprinted past, squeezing by in the narrow hallway.
In the back of the pack, Gale huffed and swung his arms. Stones crashed down all around him, and the ground trembled under his feet. Shrapnel cut his heels and sprayed up his calves. Dammit! Curse my minmaxing! I should’ve put some points into strength! Speed!
At last, the earth stopped rumbling. The cracks slowed, and the rocks fell slower, slowing to a halt. Gale stopped and caught his breath. He glanced back.
Behind them, the cave was completely closed off. Fallen rocks closed it off completely. Back a dozen yards, a huge slab blocked off the path entirely.
“Damn,” Gale muttered.
“Whoa,” Kino replied.
Gale nodded, looking over his shoulder at Kino, but Kino was staring in the opposite direction. He jogged over to Kino and Zephyr, peering over Zephyr’s shoulder. “What?”
Ahead of them, iron bars closed off the path. On the other side, monsters sat despondently. Despite the thick miasma in the air, no hope glimmered in their eyes. Some laid on the ground, some sat against the wall, but most stared into infinity. A thick metal gate closed off their only escape, and iron bars closed off all the paths deeper into the cave system.
“He calls it the cafeteria,” Zephyr said grimly.
Gale glanced at her. “Is this… where Tim keeps the monsters, when they aren’t working?”
Zephyr scowled. “Filth. Works us to death, gives us only a sip of miasma, expects us to praise him for ‘freeing’ us when all he did was enslave us!”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Gale replied.
“We’re trapped,” Kino said nervously.
Gale examined the bars. He gave them a good shake, then shoved at the top of the bars. “Look up.”
Kino tipped his head back. Zephyr, too, looked at the ceiling.
Cracks ran through the rock overhead, through the place the bars met the ceiling. Gale wiggled the bars, and the cracks fractured deeper into the rocks.
“Come on. If we all push together, we should be able to break the bars free,” Gale suggested.
“I refuse. We’ll be trapped in his domain!” Zephyr snarled.
“Are we?”
Gale pointed at the center of the room. A glowing ball of light hung in midair, over the top of a stone pedestal. “That’s the dungeon core, isn’t it?”
Zephyr’s eyes lit up. “The dungeon core! The fool. He finally fails to guard it!” She slammed into the bars. Despite her small size, iron creaked and stone shattered. The bars shuddered in their spot.
Although… that doesn’t make any sense, does it? All Zephyr would have to do is give in and become one of his ‘workers’ to get the dungeon core. There’s no way that’s the real thing. “Actually…”
“What?” Zephyr asked, pausing in pushing the bars.
Gale glanced at her, then at the ball of light, then at the bars. I’ll keep it to myself for now. Without Zephyr’s help, it’ll be much harder to break out. Once we break the bars, then I can break the news! “Nothing. Keep pushing! The dungeon core is right there!”
Once. Twice. On the third push, the bars snapped through the stone. The three of them fell into the open room in a pile.
The other monsters all looked over, wide-eyed. One or two jumped to their feet. A horned monster with long fur all over its body ran to their side. She waved at them, gesturing them back on the far side of the bars. “You can’t be here!”
“Get out of the way! My rightful inheritance is right there!” Zephyr insisted.
The furred monster shook her head. “It’s not! It’s a trap! Get out of here!”
A cold laugh rang out. “Oh? So I see I failed to squash those bugs.” Tim stepped out of the shadows, chuckling.
Zephyr sprinted toward the orb, her cloak streaming out after her like wings.
“Zephyr, no!” Gale shouted, reaching out after her.
She reached out, her hand closing in on the orb. “It’s mine! That filth is dead!”
Tim waved his hand casually. As Zephyr’s hand closed around it, the glowing orb vanished. She looked at her fist, then opened it slowly, only to reveal nothing. Zephyr scowled. “Who did it? Who took it?”
Smirking, Tim put a hand to his chest and held up a pendant, which shone brightly even in the low light. “Looking for something?”
Zephyr rounded on him, growling. She went to leap off the pedestal, but before she could, iron bars slammed down in front of her, closing into a birdcage overhead. She threw herself against the bars and shook them hard, but despite her strength, the bars refused to budge.
“You know, I’ve been thinking it’s time to broaden the onsen business. Maybe open up a brothel on the side. You could be my first maiden,” Tim offered, holding out a hand to Zephyr.
“You scum!” Gale shouted.
Zephyr snarled wordlessly.
“As if you have any right to call me that.” Tim sighed and shook his head. “Oh, well, if you won’t take it, then I have no option. I called all the rebellious servants into the cave today, and it turns out my instincts were correct. It looks like it’s time for some layoffs.”
He hefted a hand high. A brilliant fireball burned to life over his hand, quickly growing larger and larger. Heat poured off it, filling the cool room. All the monsters in the room began to sweat.
“Thank you all for your hard work. Goodbye,” Tim said. With a smile, he threw the fireball at them.
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