“Okay, hold up…” Clay laughed. “Before anything else…”

“You.” He pointed to the serpent inked into his skin.

“Are a talking snake tattoo. And we’re going to need to talk about that.”

“Oh? I see no need to waste time on any such thing. You, for instance…” The serpent’s tongue flickered. “Are a pink ape that’s somehow figured out how to clothe itself. Which is a miracle, and yet, a miracle I was happily letting go unremarked. It’s rude, you see, to go questioning how people talk…”

“Rude or not. You’re on my skin, and I’m claiming answers for rent.” Clay snapped back. Not a chance he was letting the tattoo slither out of answering him a few questions.

“Fiiiine…” With a reluctant hiss the serpent glided around his arm, forming a complicated row of knots like a bracelet. “I’m a divine messenger, sent to guide you.”

“An angel?” Clay lifted an eyebrow.

“A divine messenger. We’re quite insistent on the terminology, you see. Angel makes people think it’s our job to save their little ape lives…”

“And you’re not about that, huh? Because I happen to be in need of some saving, right about now.” Clay looked down. The ground was blanketed in the waving, ominous eyestalks of a hundred hungry crabs. If he took one step past the safety of the rocks…

“You’ve been saved once already. By that mermaid.” The snake yawned. “This time you’ll have to save your own hide. If you can’t do that, well…” A flick of his tail implied that it wasn’t worth helping someone so perpetually in need of assistance.

“Right.” Clay looked out at the sand again. It wasn’t that far to the next rock. It looked slippery, with an odd green sheen, but it was better than chancing a run across the beach. If he took a running start, he’d only be on the sand for a few steps… “This is my adventure, so it’s my ass on the line, I guess…”

“Oh your ‘adventure’ is it? I look forward to seeing how long that attitude lasts.” The snake chuckled.

Clay glanced back down. “If you’re not here to help, then why are you still taking up space on my arm, exactly?”

“Fair enough, fair enough. I’m here to advise you.” The snake admitted. “See, you’re new to this world. What we in the business call Flotsam. A soul taken from one world and dropped into another, by forces unknown, for reasons equally mysterious.”

“It doesn’t sound like you know much more than me.”

“Really?” It’s laughter was hissing and soft, like leather being scraped over a blade’s edge. “I know you didn’t check your status conditions. Look at them. Closely.”

Reluctantly, Clay did so. He didn’t like taking instructions from this smart-ass…

But he didn’t figure it’d be wise to just ignore the snake either.

「 Condition - Star-Burned

Causes intense internal damage when Mana is used.

Increases the rate of skill gain.

Permanent damage to soul possible.

Caused by travel through the Astral realm or contact with Flotsam.

Contagious.

Duration - Permanent // Severity - Divine 」

「 Condition - Wet

May cause hypothermia if not treated.

Duration - Brief // Severity - Mundane 」

“Wait. Am I radioactive?”

“Nevermind that.”

「 Condition - Inspired

Increases the rate of skill gain explosively.

Caused by contact with the divine.

Duration - Fleeting // Severity - Divine 」

“What am I looking at then? That they both boost skill gain?” Clay was more concerned with the fact he was apparently bleeding some kind of Astral radiation that could infect other people.

“Exactly. Right now, you are burning bright with cosmic energy. You could sneeze and accidentally gain a skill from the experience…” The snake sounded vaguely envious.

“Okay okay, I get what you’re saying. So I’ve got this once in a lifetime chance to get skills…” Clay smiled, running his tongue along his teeth. Yeah. He figured he was catching on fast, for someone who was dumped straight into the deep end; this world had skills and conditions and levels. That meant it was a game…

Games had winners…

And from how the snake talked, the losers ended up dead.

“Excellent. You may not be a total clod, then.”

“And if I’m clocking this right, I can get skills from doing… anything?”

“Yes. For instance, you could pick up a very useful Athletics skill by leaping between these rocks, provided you put your whole effort into the doing.”

Clay nearly took that suggestion. He stepped back, pacing out the distance he had for a run-up and gauging the jump. Then he pushed down into a sprinter’s pose, ready to launch himself at the next rock…

Only to stop, suddenly, and let out a sudden, sharp laugh.

“You little shit…”

It was a giant crab. The rock he had been about to jump to was just the topmost parts of a massive shell, partway buried into the sand. The strange emerald sheen wasn’t some oddity of this new world; it was the color of carapace.

「 Skill Gained - Observation

Increases your visual acuity.

Decreases Clarity used to enhance vision.

Rank - 0.0 // Grade - Mundane 」

“Ahhh, and I was so nearly done with this assignment…” The snake muttered.

“Is there any reason I should trust you?” Clay asked, furious. His heart was beating fast now, not with excitement, but with a mix of fear and anger. He’d almost launched himself foot-first into an ugly death; one more second and he would’ve taken off.

“Well, if it helps, I can’t lie…” The snake admitted lazily.

“I think I’ll find my own way.” Clay said with determination. Fuck this; fuck taking orders from a wise-mouthed little backstabber.

“Very well. I will serve as your guide for three days. After that? We part ways.” The snake said, and then shivered faintly, becoming inanimate ink once more.

“Can’t come soon enough.”

---

Rule one.

Trust nothing.

The rocks could be buried crabs. Angels sent to help him could be backstabbing snakes.

Clay didn’t know the rules of this world, so he didn’t know what he could trust. Until that changed…

Trust nothing.

He picked up a small rock from the sand, leaning over the edge of his safe zone. He’d scouted out which of the nearby boulders were likely to be giant crabs in disguise…

But he had to be sure before he jumped.

He chose the closest ‘safe’ candidate, wound up, and threw the rock. It bounced off with a satisfyingly solid clatter, not the hollow note he’d expect from hitting shell. As it rolled across the beach, the sand began to froth and push up from below. Tiny green-shelled predators surged up to investigate the disturbance on the beach…

Clay waited for them to dig themselves back down…

He couldn’t make it all the way in one leap, but he could keep from touching the sand for more than a bare second. It was all up to who was faster; him or a bunch of soft-shelled scavengers.

With a final, deep breath, he started to run. He had three good steps to pick up speed before he launched himself high, hitting the sand with both heels in a drumbeat. It was like ringing a dinner bell. The sand began to shake as Clay started running, watching as tiny shapes disgorged themselves from beneath the ground. He put everything he had into the run-

Every muscle-

Every breath-

Forcing himself to ignore the sensation of tiny crab bodies crunching underfoot, their sharp-edged shells biting into his bare soles.

Until suddenly his leg slammed into a hollow cavern beneath the sand, and plunged down to the thigh. He tripped, falling down, his yell of panic muffled by the sand as he ate dirt.

Crabs clung to every portion of his body as he forced himself back up; a human silhouette covered by crawling emerald legs.

Screaming, he shook himself desperately and pushed against his body, against his sprained leg, to build momentum again. Something fiery blazed in his chest. A reservoir of power Clay had never known before flared within him and pushed through his limbs, let him pick up speed again despite the pain- let him run faster even than before.

It was like magic.

He threw himself onto the rock and over the imagined finish line, rolling up onto the safe, solid surface and frantically kicking his legs. Dozens of spiny little fuckers had attached themselves to his skin with their razor-sharp pincers, biting away chunks of him as he kicked them off.

“Fuck! Fuckity fucky fuck!”

They scuttled back into their dens, happy with the nips and pecks of his skin they’d managed to claim. Clay was left gasping, staring down at dozens of small, bloody craters on his calves.

“Oh, I am going to eat so much more seafood now, you little bastards. Seafood and snake souffle, every damn day.”

Stomping his feet to get the life back into them, Clay waited for the voice to come.

Sure enough.

「 Skill Gained - Sprinting

Massively increases your speed for a short time when focused solely on movement.

Decreases Might used while running.

Rank - 0.0 // Grade - Mundane 」

Sprinting Skill increased to 1.

It felt good.

He hadn’t noticed before, but there was a distinct sensation to gaining a Skill. It was a cool, trickling feeling that moved through his flesh and bones like water; it felt a little like a cold shower after a long day, except that it reached into every part and portion of his being and settled into him.

It was satisfying.

It was electrifying.

He tilted his head back and laughed, collapsing onto his ass and letting the adrenaline pump through him with every heartbeat. Risk his life, gain a skill. Do something stupid, learn to do it better next time…

Clay had never felt like he fit in on earth.

He was always…

In the dark of the night, working at his keyboard, he’d lift his hands towards the ceiling and wiggle his fingers, trying to make something happen. Telekinesis, fire, any kind of magic at all. Some part of him would sometimes check the back of wardrobes, just in case there was an open doorway to some other land…

He knew these were ridiculous things for a grown man to do, and he didn’t believe anything would happen.

But from a small, deep-seated part of his soul, he’d always hoped.

And now, he knew. He knew it didn’t matter if he’d never fit in on Earth; this was his world.

He prodded the snake tattoo. “You. That… burning sensation…” Fiery, hot, but not unpleasant. A harmless flame that had spread through his entire body. “That was Might, wasn’t it?”

All the skills so far referenced one of the five names listed beneath his level.

Might, Grace, Insight, Clarity, Will…

“So you did catch on. And you’re a natural talent, it seems. Good luck, I say. You would’ve died if you hadn’t figured out how to use it…” The snake said, animating slightly to turn its cold eyes towards him.

“Yes or no answers, thanks.” Clay insisted. He wasn’t leaving the snake room to make lies of omission.

“Yes.” The serpent reluctantly agreed. “That was Might, one of the Five Powers.”