“Now, first things first. You’re all going to get these really cool wristbands.”

The box opens up at the bottom, a compartment appearing out of nowhere, sliding out a tray of silver bangles. Peculiarly there’s no blood anywhere on the box, like it had a coating of water repellent and anything that touches it slides right off.

“Starting from the left, come and get a wristband. Please do not try to tamper with it or take it off after you’ve put it on. You will die.”

I’m sure this time nobody would break the rules.

Actually, I can’t say that.

I’ve already seen people do much more than I expected them to. I’m sure if Conor wasn’t passed out from blood loss, he would still be defiant. I never thought that anyone would help him when he was dying but Aanya did and then Brandon.

Holy shit. Is it wrong that I’m excited?

I always thought people were boring. I always hoped that there were another facet, another side that I never got to see.

But the more people I got to know and the more I got to know people, the more I found nothing but more sand. There were no hidden depths, just shoal.

But in the last thirty minutes, yes it’s only been thirty fucking minutes, I’ve hit on more gold than I would have in a lifetime of slogging along in that same path that everyone’s traveled a trillion times over.

You really don’t know anyone until they’re face to face with death. I mean most of these fuckers acted exactly as I thought they would.

The sheep. I guess I’m one of them. I’m smart though. But I guess, a smart sheep is still a sheep. Nothing to be proud of. I didn’t mind observing the carnage. I wanted more. And the box was gonna give it to me. All I had to do was sit back and relax.

“Now, does everyone have a wristband? Let’s start over, this time without any disruptions.”

Hailey’s hand shoots up. The box groans. “What now, Hailey?”

“I have to go to the bathroom.” I still have no clue whether she’s brilliant or oblivious.

“Good thing you have these wristbands Otherwise you’d have had to go in the corner. I’ll unlock the door for you. Do not talk to anyone, do not wander the hallways. You will die. Does anyone else need to go?”

“I’m gonna try and get out of here.” Julian whispers, raising his hand.

Beep. The wristband shows red.

“Please do not lie, Julian. Red means you’re lying. These wristbands aren’t just fashionable, they work as lie detectors, as well as microphones and GPS. It also can measure your blood pressure!" Is this an advertisement for the iWatch?

Mary meekly raises her hand, her wristband beeps. It’s red.

“Mary, you shouldn’t lie.”

“I need to go to the bathroom for something else.”

“What is it?”

“Uh...I-It’s personal.”

“We’re already late. Are you on your period?”

“Uh no. Um. It’s fine. I don’t need to go.”

“Thanks for wasting everyone’s time.”

“You don’t need to be a dick. She has to change her pants.” Carissa steps in, holding one of her soccer shorts.

No wonder I’ve been smelling piss. Poor little Mary pissed her pants. Mary had a little piss, in her pants, in her pants. Yea, I’m a horrible person. I know.

Nobody laughs at her, though. Well I do, but you know, on the inside. You don’t want Carissa mad at you, she’s a ferocious mama bear.

“I’m going to let that slide this time, Carissa, but I am still your teacher so watch your mouth. Mary you can go. Everyone else, if you can just wait an hour, we’ll be done with first period. Let’s all get through this together.”

“Before we start our games, we’ll introduce ourselves. Just like the first day of class. You can think of this as our first activity. Say your name, how many people you had sex with, and your darkest, most shameful secret. If you lie, you will die.” We all look at each other, incredulous.

Mr. Turner's pretty perverted. Or was it the box? Darkest or most shameful? Just sex? What does that mean? Is he making this ambiguous on purpose? How do you know which secret is your worst? Well, you have three tries so at least no one should die in the first activity. I can't help but wonder what games we’ll play after this.

This is gonna be fun.

“We’re gonna die?”

“Is he serious?”

“Why are you doing this to us?”

“Why do we have to do this?”

“Silence. Only ask questions pertaining to the current activity. We’re late, we’re late, we’re late. New rule. If you talk out of turn, you will die.” Not a peep. We have to listen, we all saw what it could do. “Ok. Starting with Riley and we’ll go down the aisle and snake around. So Riley, then Claire and so on.”

Wow. Lucky. This means I’m last. Sweet.

The class looks at Riley. The first sacrifice. Everyone glad that it wasn’t one of us. But before she can speak, Hailey raises her hand. Hehehe. This is gonna be good.

“What counts as sex?” Hmmm. I’m starting to lean towards smart.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, is it penetration or cumming? Does oral count? Like lesbian sex?”

“Oral counts but only for lesbian sex. For gay sex, anal is necessary. For hetero sex, orgasm by the man through penetration.”

“That’s a pretty misogynistic way of looking at sex.” Wow, Hailey’s a feminist. You learn something new everyday.

“The fact is that seventy percent of women never orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. While ninety five percent of men do. So take it as you will. Any other questions?’

Sal raises his hand.

“You said darkest, most shameful. Which one should we do?”

“Both, either or.”

“To us or to the class?”

“I don’t know. Stop wasting time. Just figure it out.”

“What if we tell the wrong secret?”

“You get three tries and then you’re out. Outta this world. Ha, see what I did there? Let's start.”

This isn’t Mr. Turner. This is some weird twisted Mr. Turner.

First of all, how did Mr. Turner’s consciousness get transferred into the box. It has to be an AI with Mr. Turner’s voice, intonation, and speaking habits. Or maybe he was always like this. We’ve just never had the chance to see this deviant side of him.

“Remember, this is still history class. This is not just a fun way to reintroduce yourself to the class, but it’s also a test of your personal history, your relationships, your repressed memories. Dig deep guys. Now that we’re all set, you can begin, Riley. Stand when it’s your turn and don’t forget to speak up.”

“Hi, my name is Riley Hayes.” Ha. She said hi. Like it’s actually just another first day of class. “I’ve never had sex.” Her wristband stays green.

Haha. Virgin. Non adventurous loser. What are you waiting for? Don’t you want to see what it’s all about?

If you’re waiting for that perfect person, let me tell you, it’s nothing special. Nobody will ever tell you that their first time was a magical moment. It’s awkward as shit, a lot of fumbling around. You only get better with experience.

And nobody falls in love with their first. I mean who the hell even stays in touch with who they lost their virginity to.

I’m sure the virginity percentages are about half and half. Even the half that did have sex, it couldn’t be more than 1 or 2 people.

Who knows, maybe we’re are much bigger horn dogs than I thought they would be. I mean, I for one am a sexual predator...not. Maybe.

Either way, we’re about to find out for real. Cause you’ll never get a straight answer from high schoolers. Guys try to beef up their sexual history, while girls try to slim down theirs.

It’s understandable. We're at a sensitive time where girls can’t have too many in fear of being called a slut, yet can’t have too few in fear of being a prude. Guys who put too high of a number are labeled liars, while too low of a number is a low testosterone bitch.

“My most embarrassing secret is,” Drum roll, please. “I’ve masturbated using facebook pictures of guys in our school.”

Beep. Green. Lucky bitch.

That’s her big secret? I shouldn’t have expected much from a virgin. I mean who hasn’t done that at least once. Get some nice beach or pool shots, where the shirts come off and the bathing suits on. What a boring girl.

Maybe the next secret will be better. Looks like this shouldn’t take that long. Quick and easy.

“Ok. Next. Let’s keep it moving.” Seems the box has the same idea. “Ryan.”

Now, I know this guy’s secret.

He’s a little creep who’s either really horny or really perverted. I know cause I’ve caught him jerking off in the middle of class.

You’d think it would be really easy to notice someone masturbating. But when you think of it as impossible, it’s really easy to miss what’s happening right in front of you.

It’s kind of like when God performs miracles all over the world and scientists just dismiss their findings as just anomalies. The evidence of God is everywhere, you just have to pay attention.

Jk lol. Did I get you? Did you really think if I believed in God, I would compare faith in His existence to masturbation in class? I mean, come on. If there really is anything like God, he’s definitely much more like the Devil.

Anyways, back to the masturbatory story. I've watched him closely and when I get a new obsession, I don't take my eyes off the target. Well until I get bored of them.

Since Ryan sits all the way to the right, he puts his right hand in his pocket and starts rolling it around. I think he ripped a hole in his right pocket cause he always puts his phone in his left pocket. Once, he put his phone in the right and it just fell out of his pants leg.

He doesn’t just massage that shit, he cums, too.

I saw him rub his disgusting little hand on Helen’s hair before. Helen sits behind him and when she turns around, he strikes. Like a cobra. A cum cobra.

Sometimes he hikes his shorts up and sprays it onto Riley in front of him. Riley’s too innocent to even know what spunk smells like.

It has to be his fetish, to masturbate in public and get cum on unsuspecting girls. Honestly, sometimes I get hot watching him do his rape routine. Wait, I guess it’s not rape, just sexual harassment.

“Ryan Little. Two people.” Beep. The tag shows red. Who the hell was he trying to fool.

“Uh...one person.” What I really want to know who decided to take pity on the little pervert and let him fuck them. Someone with really really low self esteem or naive as shit.

Cause he looks the part of a pervert what with his pinched eyes always staring at tits and ass. You could almost see him mentally stripping every girl near him. He’s the kind of guy that watches porn on his phone with his other perv pals during lunch and has circle jerk sessions after school. Despicable, I know.

“I’ve masturbated in the school bathrooms.” Lie. Beep. Red.

Already at student number two, we’re at lie number two. I was wrong about this going smoothly.

“Please be careful Ryan. Only one try left.”

“And uhh...I’ve masturbated...during class.”

“Final answer?”

“Uh, yea.” Ha ha. The bald faced liar. Does he really think he’ll get away with that? It’s not the whole secret and he knows it. Beep. Red.

“I’m sorry Ryan-”

“No, wait. There’s more! Give me another chance."

"I already gave you three."

"No! No! Please! I’ll tell you everything! I’ve ejaculated on girls who sit in front of me, and sometimes I wipe my hands off on girl’s clothes or hair.” Beep. Green. What an idiot.

Everyone around him looks at him in horror and disgust. The room can't keep quiet. The no talking rule can't even stop them.

“What the fuck, Ryan?”

“You sick fucking bastard.”

“You fucking creep.”

“Get the fuck away from me.” Helen tries to push her desk back.

Riley turns around to check if she has any cum on her as if there was a time and place for him to secretly cum with everything going on.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

“Everyone, quiet down. If it’s not your turn, do not talk.” Seems like the no talking rule isn't as strict as long as something fun was going down.

“See! I told you my secret. I told you what you wanted to know. Please!”

“It's too late.”

“Come on, Mr. Turner. Don't kill me. You can’t kill me. You're a teacher. I'm your student.” Didn't he see what it did to Colin?

“I’m sorry. You’ve failed the first test."

Oh shit. I’m not prepared for this. I didn’t expect this to happen so soon. How could anyone be so dumb? I guess Ryan is.

He had to have known this would happen. Why'd he lie? Maybe cumming on girls in your class is the kind of shit society won’t get over. Like pedophiles and rapists.

Is there any other crime where you’re on a public shaming list that anyone can look up online and you're forced to go door to door warning your neighbors that you’ve just moved and might rape you or touch your children?

Maybe he knew that only the worst kind of life waited for him, the one where your baggage not only never disappears but is always on display, dragging behind you for all to see.

“In the interest of cleanliness, the wristbands I've provided for you will conveniently inject a fast acting poison-"

"No, stop. Stop! You can't do this!" Ryan scratches at his wrist, pulling at the wristband. He smashes it onto the table over and over. Not even a scratch.

"As I was sayiing, if you happen to fail any of the tests in this class, you will be put to sleep. Permanently. Just another cool function those wristbands have.” Damn and I thought there would be another beheading.

“Don’t worry, there will be many more opportunities for bloodshed later.” Did the fucker just read my mind? Honestly, he might've. Who the fuck knows?

“Please. Don’t do this. I told you the truth. I told you everything. You can't just murder students. You're gonna go to jail, forever.” They're gonna arrest a box?

“Goodbye Ryan.”

“This shit is fucked! This can’t be fucking real.” Ryan walks over to the box but before he can get there, he falls to his knees. With his remaining strength, he digs his nails into his bloody wrist. Whether he was still trying to get the band off or wake himself up, I wasn't sure.

“This isn’t real. This isn’t real. I’m going to wake up. I’m going to wake up.” He continues to mumble as he finally slumps to the floor, planting face first into the carpet, like a buddhist prostration to the box. First death, and a shitty one at that.

What a way to go. Dying right after your most shameful acts have been revealed to the world, to be always remembered as Ryan, the masturbator, the sex offender, the cum wiper.

It’s kinda hilarious. Ryan died from masturbation. Not directly. But it’s funny when you say it like that.

The little shit deserved to die. Am I right? Ha, caught ya, and I’m supposed to be the evil one.

Granted Ryan’s secret was a bit excessive and a little rapey. It’s still the same shit. Who cares?

And why are we so ashamed about sex and masturbation? It happens. Like all the time. Everywhere. Everyone.

"Go Helen."

“Helen Wong. Five people.” Green. Holy shit. You go girl. The prim and proper Asian girl has been getting around.

Wasn’t she supposed to be the winner of some state math competition? My kind of girl. I liked her already.

“I’ve had a threesome.” Wow, what goes on in those math camps? Although this is only good because I would’ve never expected haughty Helen to put out like that.

It’s even better cause she’s staring straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with the room, obviously ashamed but trying to suppress it so cutely. That turns me on.

But it’s still pretty mediocre as a secret. Do these people have no imagination? Her wristband shows red, though. Apparently there’s more.

"That was the wrong secret. Please try again, Helen."

“Um...I’ve cheated...during math competitions.” Beep. Green. Haha. She’s more ashamed about that than the threesome. I guess it’s all relative.

"Next."

“Hannah Cohen. I’ve never done it.” Beep. The tag shows red.

Nick looks at her, dumbfounded. Cue evil laugh. Mua ha ha ha ha.

Let the drama begin.

“I thought you said you were a virgin?” Mr. Turner or the box, I still haven’t picked which name to call him/it yet, was definitely quite perverse as he lets this continue.

He must be enjoying it as much as I am.

“I am. I swear.”

“But it says you just lied.”

“It’s broken. Something must be wrong with it.”

“It's not. It hasn't been so far."

"It is. I swear. I've never had sex." Beep. Red.

"We were supposed to lose our virginity together!” Nick is on the verge of tears.

“Please correct your answer, Hannah.”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t sex!”

“Please correct your answer, Hannah.”

“Um...uh, one person?” Beep. The tag turns green. She immediately turns to Nick. “I’m sorry! I didn't know it was sex!” You didn't know it was sex? The world is a comedy not a tragedy.

“You bitch." His tone is so vicious, so malicious, that Hannah immediately starts sobbing. I’ve never heard Nick lose his cool but it sounded awesome. This was the real Nick. "Who did you fuck?”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It was just one time.”

“What the fuck? You whore. Who was it? Who did you fuck?”

“It was Eric! We were all a little drunk and you were passed out. He told me you did the same with him and that it didn’t count.”

“What the fuck? What doesn’t count?”

“I don't know! It was only anal! Mr. Turner! You said that sex was vaginal penetration.” That’s what happens when you’re girlfriend is a submissive slave. Someone like Eric can easily manipulate Hannah using the power of Nick’s name.

“Sorry, Hannah. I said it was orgasm by man through penetration. That includes anal. This has run it's course. We need to move on. I’m just going to assume that this was part of your secret. Nick, it’s your turn.”

“You fucking whore. How could you let Eric do that to you?

"Nick. It's your turn."

“Nicholas Cardenas. No sex.” Red tag. Nick's face turns the same shade of red.

“See! You did do it!” Hannah screeches. Holy shit. This is fucking good.

Confused Nick. Angry Nick. Then ashamed Nick. Goddamn, this is better than any birthday present ever. Not that I ever got any birthday presents.

Thank you God for the blessings. Or thank you Mr. Turner or Mr. Box or whatever the fuck. Thank you.

You would only get to see this shit on TV. Props to Eric. He's one pro bisexual homewrecker.

“I’m not gay! I’m not gay if he didn’t give it to me.” Oh, you’re definitely gay, my friend.

“Please correct your answer, Nick.”

“This isn’t right. This isn't right. It doesn’t count. I’m not gay. I'm not gay. And I've never had sex.” Beep. The tag turns red again.

“That’s your second try, Nick. Please think carefully about what you say this time.”

“I don’t think you’re gay, Nick. Please. Just tell him what he wants to hear.” Nick doesn't even glance at Hannah.

“Shut the fuck up. You betrayed me. You’re dead to me.” This guy. What a hypocrite.

“Ahem. We’re wasting more time here. Nick please tell the truth.”

“No. No. No. No. I can’t. I can’t. Fuck. I can’t.”

“Nick. I don’t care if you hate me. I’ll still love you. No matter what. Please. I don’t want you to die.” I gotta say, Hannah is one devoted devotee. She reaches out to touch his hand, but he slaps it away. He takes a deep breath before speaking.

“Forgive me Father for I have sinned. I’ve had sex with one person. And my secret is that it was with a man.” Beep. Green.

Whew. I was afraid he was going to die, and just as I got to know the real him, too. Would’ve been a crying shame. Well, not literally. Nothing to cry over. Just a slight disappointment.

Jean Phillipe is next. He’s gay.

“My name is Jean Phillipe Leblanc. No sex. And I’m gay.” Green, green, green. I can’t help but roll my eyes. No surprise there. It’s cute that he thought he needed to keep being gay a secret. I’m pretty sure everyone already knew he was gay. He always used to deny it. We probably knew before he did.

I swear parents bless and curse their child when giving them a name.

If your parents give you a crazy name, like Sparkle or Lexus, you’ll be crazy. Known by name only, you’ll either be that weird hippie who think unicorns are real or you’ll be that super loud, super aggressive bitch.

If you get too normal of a name, there’s going to three other Brian’s or Matt’s or Emily’s. When someone's talking about you, they’ll always have to go through the Brian S, Brian M or Brian C? Black Matt or white Matt? Smart Emily or cheerleader Emily? Always compared, never standing out, you'll be the epitome of normalcy.

Then there’s the even middle, the Goldilocks just right portion. That’s where your parents should aim to hit, where there’s no one else in your school with your name but it’s not so uncommon that no one’s never heard of it. Like fucking Marley. God I hate my name.

Anyways, my point is with a name like Jean Phillipe, his parents basically set him up to be gay. Self fulfilling prophecy.

I’m only half serious. But there is some truth to it. If you were a guy, and everyone treated you like a girl and told you that naked guys are hot. If all the TV and books you read told you that it’s OK to be attracted to guys, suck a dick, take it up the ass.

Do you think you would still be so straight?

A lot of gay people say that it’s not a decision, you’re born that way. And I’m sure there’s a lot of guys like that. But where do you think one’s nature comes from. Not just from genes, but your environment. What you grew up learning from. And we’ve learned that gay is gay and straight is straight.

Bisexual girls are cool, but bisexual guys are gay. It’s all due to stigma. If the world is full of bisexuals, it would be a much happier and inclusive place, and more importantly I’d be having a lot less awkward threesomes. You know, the good kind. With two guys.

“Next aisle, starting from the back.”

Everything seems to be going smoothly. It doesn’t look like anyone else is going to die in this stage. Maybe just die from embarrassment.

Next is Nat. She’s a transfer student. Two years ago, her family immigrated from the Ukraine. She has an accent but she can still speak English amazingly well. By the way, she broke a guy’s nose for calling her a commie or at least that’s what they say.

“My name is Natalia Boyko and I refuse to participate in such exploitative entertainment.”

Goddamnit. I spoke too soon. Or thought too soon. Whatever.

What’s her plan?

“I still don’t think this is reality. And if it is, I don’t wish to live in such a depraved world. The value I place on my life is only determined by the world in which I live. And this new world places no value on life, so why should I? I will not debase myself just to live and I doubt my dead mother wouldn’t wish for me to do so either. Have fun crawling around like the animals you all are. Humans should have dignity. I’ve prepared for death, so kill me now.”

Is that it? Is she going to die now? Amazing.

I suppress the urge to give her a standing ovation that she so deserves. It’s so hard to tell the difference between bravery and stupidity. But I applaud both, for different reasons. What does it matter, this girl’s got balls.

Speaking of balls, I heard she’s also busted a few. Literally. When a couple of idiots watched too much Ukranian porn and ganged up on her in the bathroom.

Well, now she's done. What a waste of a warrior. She would’ve been fun to play with later on.

Too bad in a second, she’ll be dead.

We all know what’s coming, but nobody tries to stop her. To persuade her otherwise, plead for her to participate.

Maybe in that moment, we all looked up to her. We all wanted to be that girl who stood up to the system and made a stand, even in the face of death.

Yet, of course, none of our pitiful selves would dare. All we can do is stare, open mouthed. Anticipation hangs amid the thick stuffy silence as we await the inevitable falling of the guillotine blade.

Suddenly, sniffling. Loud. Then, like a train horn, a nose blowing.

From the box.

Is this motherfucker serious?