《Drunk Dungeon》Chapter 8: A Taste of Home

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Room eight was the same as room seven, two enemies slowly coming towards me. I waited for them to get closer together so I could try taking them out both at once. The bigger problem was the amount of light in the room. Their shells were black and they started to blend in with the room’s surroundings more and more. I could barely see the lines on the palm of my hand even with it right in front of my face. Light was fading fast and I would eventually have to fight these enemies through sound and feeling around their shells if I kept going indefinitely.

I walked around the room as the chased me, herding them until they were right next to each other. Then I stabbed towards both their heads with a single spear thrust. Both fled to the safety of their shells and neither came out when I got behind them. The first one died as I cut into its shell and before the other could react, I killed it as well. Just as planned.

This was proof that I could handle rooms with two of these enemies without any trouble. Which solidified my goal of reaching the rest area to grab some more alcohol. The thought alone made me thirsty and I pulled out the booze and took a large gulp of it. Before I had been trying to avoid drinking any more of it since it was getting low, but now I’d be getting a refill complements of the dungeon.

The Ninth room was cleared within a few minutes without any issues and I went into the tenth hoping it would contain a rest area. Instead of a rest area, I found myself in another open room with three of the turtle monsters. The room itself was much larger than the ninth room as well. By entering a room in the double digits, I found that things had started to step up. It had taken seven rooms for the amount of enemies to get to two and only three rooms for three enemies. If this pattern continued to escalate, then before I found the rest area I would find myself stuck in a room with dozens of turtle monsters I could barely see.

I had lucked out the first time, waking up in a rest area on the tenth room. This time it was going to be a bit more difficult. Anywhere from the tenth floor to the thirtieth, the rest area could be at. That was a lot of rooms and a lot of enemies to fight. Although the enemies were easy enough to fight, killing tons of them at once would be hard even with this method and the darkness would make it near impossible. How was I supposed to fight these monsters if I didn’t even know how many there were or where they were?

Within a few minutes, I discovered that the method I was using before already wasn’t working. While trying to herd the monsters, two of them grouped up just fine while the third one kept its distance from its others while still trying to get closer to me. Left with no other choice, I started by scaring the two grouped ones and dispatching them with the dagger, then I readied my spear to strike down the third while it refused to hide.

The result was basically the same as floor seven, it made a motion to dodge with its head to the side but I stabbed its lower neck and then clubbed it over the head before it even had the chance to bite at me. I couldn’t imagine how hard this would be if there were four of these beasts and the fourth one learned from me stabbing at the base of the neck and mixed up its strategy. Once I entered the eleventh room, I realized that I was given the chance to test this out.

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Two of them stayed grouped together while the other two skirted the perimeter of the room, which actually would’ve prevented me from being able to navigate around them if I couldn’t just scare the two in the middle. These terrifying beasts not only learned from my attacks but tried to make up for their slow speed by cornering me and limiting my mobility. Not that it worked this time around as I took out the two grouped ones then ignored one of the outliers to take out the third one by lodging my spear in its neck.

As I expected when I approached the fourth one, it immediately hid in its shell rather than letting me stab it in the neck. Which meant I’d just go back to the original strategy, if not for the fact that as soon I went around to its back it let out its legs and rotated towards me. Just the legs and not the head. However, that was enough to make me a bit uneasy. I saw how fast it could go into its shell and it stood to reason it could come out just as fast.

I wasn’t even sure if I could stab it in the shell without it coming out of the shell and attacking me. After all, its head was extremely long and could reach behind it if it tried. And since it was using only its legs, I couldn’t really hit it with my spear that well. Since it was rotating so slowly I could still get behind it without any trouble.

The issue was whether to risk leaning down close to stab it in the back. It wasn’t like I could use the dagger from very far away or throw it. A few feints to see if it could tell where I was behind it and if I could get close without being in danger seemed to be my best bet. Using my spear, I tapped on its back a few times and its head sprouted out from its shell and lifted up so far that it was looking at me upside down.

Thankfully it seemed there was no way for it to see behind me and I managed to put it back into its shell with a spear thrust. Then I leaned down behind it with a dagger. Just to be safe, I chose a spot lower down on its back and tried to stab down only for the space between the plates of armor to suddenly close up while its head suddenly lunged at me. Within a second it had twisted its body and shell to face towards and went for my neck. My hands were already full with my spear in my right hand and the dagger in my left.

In order to block this attack, I was forced to drop the dagger and fell backward. The turtle bit onto the top of the shield and tugged on it, trying to move it out of the way. The straps keeping it tied to my arm kept it from doing so and I struggled to keep it in front of me. With my right hand, I gripped the spear close to the spearhead and stabbed into its neck multiple times at close range without much effect. Its skin was as hard as a rock and the spearhead was dull and only able to cut the topmost layer.

Not that I was in a position to put much power into my strikes, lying down backward with only my upper back lifted up and trying to keep the turtle from pushing me down fully or pushing me to the side. For such a slow creature, it’s strength was staggering and I was already feeling pain in my stomach from this position. I dropped the spear and looked for another weapon, my club.

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My club was trapped underneath my ass because it slid behind me while I was falling back. I needed to find a way to tighten it. Wait no, tightening it would just make it harder to take it out when I needed it. Instead, a proper sheath or at least a belt designed to hold weapons was necessary. The only other weapon I had was the dagger but it was dropped and somewhere beneath me or the monster.

Ignoring the pain from my lower body, I lifted myself up more and pushed back against the turtle with the last vestiges of my strength and searched around for the dagger, feeling for it with my hand. Right as my body was about to give out, my fingertips brushed against its handle.

My arm gave out and got thrown to the side while my body fell flat against the ground. The beast took advantage of this weakness and went for my neck. I could feel its disgusting smell and imagined its thick teeth easily ripping my jugular out of my neck as I bled out in the dungeon. Instead, it flopped lifelessly onto my chest.

After pushing its body off to the side and getting up, I pulled the dagger from its neck. It had been buried up to the hilt, cutting into the beast’s neck like it was butter. And the effect was almost instantaneous. How convenient yet terrifying that the blade felled it with one blow. Would I have suffered the same fate if I had brushed my fingers against the blade instead of the handle?

Once again I had faced near death due to carelessness in the dungeon. Or rather than carelessness, the dungeon once again surprised me with something I didn’t expect despite my caution. Back on the first floor, I was able to kill one of these with ease, on this floor I was unable to beat one of them. As much as I could blame it on there being four, I had killed the first three before fighting the fourth. This was a single monster that caused me this much trouble.

It reminded me of the bird I had to flee from that was in the very first room of another version of the dungeon. No matter how prepared I was the dungeon could ruin those preparations. No matter how easy the dungeon seemed to be, as I got to later rooms the difficulty would escalate accordingly. The dungeon was a literal deathtrap disguised as a place where one could easily become rich. And I could get rich here if I didn’t die in the process.

This was too much to take in sober, I thought while drinking some of the liquor. Despite the fact it could run out soon and there was no guarantee I could get more at this rate, I drank as much as I could stomach. It burned my throat as it went down and I needed that burn to distract myself from what just happened. If even one thing had gone wrong, I would have died and this wasn’t even the first time that was true.

A few minutes passed as kept drinking until the bottle was completely empty and smashed it against the ground. The glass went everywhere and one shard even lodged itself in my hand. I pulled it out and stared at my palm as the blood dripped out. Why even care about the wound if my magical fucking shield would just heal it within a few hours? Why care about anything if I was just going to die within a year?

Maybe my jugular would’ve just grown back if the turtle had ripped it out. Felt like I was near immortal at times. Looking at my hand again, I realized that while I could see the blood, I couldn’t see my knuckles or hair on my arm from this distance. It was surreal how dark it was getting and how I hadn’t noticed. My eyes were getting used to the darkness but that would only go so far. The alcohol didn’t help as it made my vision a bit shaky.

Now I had two choices, go on and risk dying again and being unable to see at some point, or head back like a normal person would. The decision should have been obvious but there was just one problem. All this bleeding was making me thirsty and I had nothing more to drink. Dying was starting to feel more preferable than not being to take another sip of some good stuff.

As much as I wanted to head back to Tom’s place, he would only have light beers and cheap liquor. The good stuff was only brought out on special occasions and not even silver would change his mind on it. In fact, the silver would be confiscated to pay off my tab. But if the next room happened to be the rest area, I’d have some more brew in my hands. My mind focused on this and couldn’t let go of the chance.

I got up and started walking towards the entrance to the next room, picking up my spear on the way. While a bit crazy, I wasn’t downright suicidal. The spear would help if I ended up wrong. If the twelfth room didn’t have the rest area and instead five or more turtles, I could defend myself somewhat. Then after that, I would leave the dungeon for sure, not gambling with my life any further for a draft.

To my delight, it was no longer dark when I went into the twelfth room. The room actually too bright, hurting my eyes and forcing me to put my arm on my forehead to shield them. It was also smaller than the eleventh room, being around the size of the fourth or fifth floor. And in the middle of it was a wooden bowl full of random food items and beside it was an entire barrel. Not a full-sized barrel as big as me but more of a mini one that was almost as tall as my knees when I stood straight up.

If it contained what I thought it did, a better name for it would be a keg rather than a mini-barrel. I walked up to it and found a wooden stopper on the top of it. Just by touching it, the wooden keg leg out a strong aroma. Without even pulling out the stopper, I knew this was a strong ale. The kind that wasn’t watered down at all and even had spices and herbs mixed in. Not only that, but it was a kind of ale I hadn’t tasted in over ten years as it was a specialty of my hometown. Not even Tom would recognize this keg filled almost to the brim with the flavors of home.

Home was a place I hadn’t thought of in a long time seriously. Ever since I left it, I never looked back yet never made a new home wherever I went. Not even here in this town where I’ve stayed for years have I considered it a home. Just the smell alone made me want to go home yet I couldn’t. In my current state, it was impossible for me to go home.

No one would know it was me. The years had not been kind to me nor had I accomplished anything meaningful. A trip home would be one of shame rather than a warm welcome. I was sure that some people would be happy to see me back but everyone would be disappointed by what I had become. Or at least, I was.

Perhaps, if I was successful in the dungeon I’d feel good enough to be able to bring myself to go home. I didn’t know what I meant by successful myself. The only goal I had so far was the one that the goddess had given me, which was just as vague as being successful. There was no use in overthinking things for now.

I grabbed the keg and put it on my shoulder. Tonight I would celebrate with this keg. Not with the others but in a room all to myself. I’d rent out a room to sleep in again and just eat this bowl of food and then drink while thinking about home. That sounded nice.

It didn’t take long to make it back to the surface. I could’ve employed the fishing method in room six since the enemies were so easy to beat one on one, or maybe in room nine since I could still beat two at once within a minute. But I had achieved one of my short-term goals to make it back to the rest area and with the ores, I felt like I had accomplished enough for one day.

I missed home too much to kill turtles for hours on end. There was always tomorrow for that. It wasn’t as if I only had a year to live and every day counted dearly. That was exactly how things were actually but I just couldn’t bring myself to care. A year just seemed so far away and would continue to feel far away until it was almost over.

At the dungeon entrance, I found Matt and Chris hanging out while Jerry seemed to still be in the dungeon. Chris was holding an ore in his hands and seemed to have some measure of success, which was impressive considering I wasn’t in the dungeon for even an hour. Heck, there would be several hours until sundown and I was turning in super early.

The two of them looked over at the bowl of food in my hands and the keg on my shoulder in shock. They probably knew what I had done and I could care less. I just smiled at them and walked to the bar, not spending a breath of air to talk to them about my run. At the bar, I found there to be just Tom and no one else.

The lunch crowd had obviously left and the late afternoon drinkers either didn’t come or weren’t here yet. Shockingly enough, Tom was asleep behind the bar, leaning up against the counter. This was the first time I had seen him like this in all the years I’ve known him. The moment didn’t last for long as his eyes flickered open and he stood up like nothing had happened. How the hell did he do that?

“Can I help you? It doesn’t seem like you need any food or a drink. Seems like you’ve got that part covered,” said Tom while noticing the keg and bowl of food. Not a single sign of fatigue nor his recent sleep showed on his face.

“I’d like to rent a room and I’m turning in early,” I said.

He passed me a key and it was to the same room I slept in the previous night. I tried reaching into my shirt to get some coins to pay with. I had only silver to give and wouldn’t get any change for the coin with my debts, but it made me feel bad to constantly have others pay for me or increase my tab any further.

“No need to pay for it. You left the room in great condition. I’ll add it to your tab and with a discount. When you've got the money you can pay me back. Just promise me you’ll pay off your tab all at once Mr. Dungeon Explorer,” said Tom while lifting up his hand to stop me. I guess I would have to do that now.

That did seem really cool. Going back to the bar with a bag of silver and paying off all the debts in an instant. It would be liberating and a great way to show off once I get rich. I could even add in a bit of extra. Then again, paying off my debt wouldn’t help at all with establishing a knight order, but if I were to die I’d like to die without any debts. A new short-term goal was to pay back Tom the money I owed him.

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