《Drunk Dungeon》Chapter 5: An Agreement to Grind
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Tom stood up to greet me as I left the dungeon. He had been sitting there for a while as the grass was pushed down flat where he had been seated. It was now almost nighttime and the busiest time for the bar. How could he be here of all places?
“Hello old pal, we need to talk,” he said then started walking down the path back into town.
Old? I was younger than him, not by too much but still younger. But it was true that we were friends for a long time. It’s been years since I came here from my old hometown. A washed-up man just past his prime drinking his past away, that’s what I was.
I followed him back to his bar which was full of people from throughout the town. Jeoffry was behind the bar, passing around food and drinks, taking over while Tom was gone. Jeff was at the counter grabbing a late dinner. A score of other people were getting drunk off a seemingly endless tap of ale, beer, spirits, and whatever else Tom dragged out of his cellar earlier today. Unfortunately, Jerry and his goons were at the bar as well, staring at me.
Did Tom betray me? If he waited for me outside the dungeon, I assumed he was keeping a lookout for me and trying to help me get away from Jerry and possibly lay low for a few days. Instead, I’m face to face with Jerry and there’s no way I could outrun them to escape out of town or back into the dungeon.
“I’m sorry for trying to steal your shield. It won’t happen again,” said Jerry to me. Is he actually apologizing for that? Am I supposed to just accept this apology and expect him to not rob me later? I’m not that trusting of people.
“I can tell you don’t believe me, and I get that. Later on, I’ll make it up to you for that unsightly situation. You see, I saw that shield as a way to achieve my dreams and hastily tried to take it from you rather than properly asking to buy it from you,” said Jerry. Was my doubt that visible on my face or did he realize how insincere his words sound?
“Not that the shield would help even if Jerry bought it. He wants to become a knight under a divine order. And that shield’s divine has no knight affiliations. It’s not even useful for his style of adventuring with the buffs it provides,” said Jeoffry, cutting into the conversation. It’d be nice if Jerry would take those words to heart and give up on the shield. As nice as it would be to sell it for a decent amount, it’d be the same as selling off the rest of my lifespan.
It’s quite the coincidence that Jerry wanted the shield to join a knight order and the very task bound to me by the shield was to create a knight order. As stupid as it sounds, I’m almost tempted to invite Jerry to help me with this task. He’d make for a good first recruit and bring his friends. The first real step towards building a knight order was to have people actually doing things in the name of the order and gathering resources to pool together. However, that had a high chance of backfiring in Jerry’s case as he might just topple me, take the shield, and make the knight order himself without my involvement. Does present the question of whether or not that’d be considered a success in my task if I indirectly had the knight order form by someone else’s hand.
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Not the best type of question to find out the answer to through experience. If I were to tell anyone about the task to have them help out, it would be Tom and/or Jeoffry. Tom because he’s trustworthy and good with his head. Jeoffry because he’s well acquainted with the divine and has real knowledge on how knight orders function. Actually, I could ask them questions about it without even letting them know about the full story.
“Hey Jeoffry, what do knight orders even do and how did they come about in the first place?” I asked as he was relieved by Tom and came back to this side of the bar. A steaming hot bowl of stew was placed in front of him alongside a light beer.
“I suppose I have time to talk about that while I eat. After all, I got an opportunity to work off a few of my debts and a free meal thanks to your circumstances,” said Jeoffry as he started to dig into his food.
“Knight orders are groups of adventurers who follow the same god or goddess. They tend to share the loot and money that comes from exploring the dungeon and even help take care of monsters on the surface. Any new members would get a lion’s share of the resources to catch up to the rest so knight orders are very picky. The only way to get in for sure is to have an item with their patron divine’s blessing upon it. Not much else beyond that besides convincing normal people like you to worship their divine,” said Jeoffry between mouthfuls of food and drink.
That was a lot simpler than I imagined it to be. Sounds like all that was needed was money. With a bunch of money, I could buy weapons and armor then equip some adventurers who want to join. Then I’ll collect a cut of their rewards from the dungeon for more money to throw at the knight order until it develops into something. The main issue was gathering the funds for that and finding people trustworthy enough to have as knights. The last thing I wanted was to equip an adventurer with a bunch of gear then they run off to another order.
“Not just that Jeoffry. There’s a matter of ensuring loyalty as well. Long-term members can get enchanted items to help them get stronger and then there are items to cause artificial convergences. As for divine items, knight orders disallow their members from using items blessed by other divines than their patron one, and often give divine items from their divine to members to make it so that they can’t run off to another knight order without giving up a significant part of their strength,” said Jerry. Which was actually very useful information. He must’ve put some solid research into the topic.
If by some chance, I was able to get my hands on a bunch of items blessed by Sanae Patil then it’d be easy to create a loyal knight order from scratch and build up the necessary wealth and resources from their activities. Then again, being wealthy was better than being poor and gathering a bunch of divine items from the dungeon seemed impractical. More likely, I’d have to find people who already have Sanae Patil items and either recruit them or buy the item off them, both would cost a substantial amount of cash.
“You can trust Jerry on his word for now. Him and his buddies will be banned from this here bar if they turn to banditry again. Which is something I would reluctantly as they’re some of my best customers. They’ve been banned from making bets over a certain amount already. Now would you like something to eat or drink?” asked Tom. If he said so, then I suppose I can relax a bit. Tom’s word is worth far more than Jerry’s.
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“I’ll have some of the stew and Jeff might be paying for it. No alcohol. I’ve already drunk enough today. I’m not even sure how I’m still standing or talking at this point,” I said to Tom. Not sure what was in his stew because it was different depending on what Tom had on hand, but it had everything I needed to keep going. Meat, vegetables, gravy, and a slice of bread on the side to clean the bowl.
“Me?” asked Jeff while confused. That is until I pulled the rock out from my shirt and passed it over to Jeff. In response, he pulled out enough money to pay for my meal and pocketed it. He said nothing about what it was or its true value.
“That’s right, you managed to get your hands on some fine stuff down in the rest area. If I was Jerry’s age, I’d be diving down to the rest area every day to help restock my cellar. Did you find anything else down there today since you went in twice?” asked Tom.
For a second, I was going to pull out the dagger I found to show it off but decided not to. That thing looked totally cursed and I shouldn’t give Jerry any reasons to try robbing me again if they realize it's not and is possibly a dark enchanted item. Sometimes it’s best to just keep my mouth shut. Instead of the dagger, I pulled the booze out and waved it around to show everyone.
“Nope, but I imagine everyone is curious about the bottle I found the night I went into the dungeon absolutely hammered. This stuff is a copy of one of Tom’s special brews he rarely takes out that the dungeon somehow recreated from my memories instead of boring old water like most people that get that far,” I said to distract people from the dagger. No, more to distract myself from it and the possibility that it might still be cursed or that it would be something others would covet or seek to destroy.
The rest of the night was a bit of a blur, more from excitement than the alcohol. I finished off my meal then shared a tiny bit of the bottle with everyone there. Then it was a mix of telling stories about the past, gambling, and drinking contests until people dropped or left one by one. For the first time, I actually had a somewhat sober mind while experiencing this and I felt like a spectator as I couldn’t drink anymore without getting sick. The world I always lived in before yet foreign to my eyes.
When I asked for a room upstairs, Tom let me have one for free and for the first time in what felt like ages, I slept on a proper bed. I just laid on top of the bedsheets fully clothed and shut my eyes. No nightmares came this time, just darkness and morning came seemingly in an instant. There was no hangover and the sun had just risen by the time I woke up. Which was weird as I normally felt like shit and woke up in the afternoon.
This had to be the work of the shield. How in the hell is this shield not more valuable and why would adventurers go for full-on offensive type enchantments? I could get drunk yet have some clarity in my mind, which I’m not sure whether that’s good or bad, and then wake up like nothing happened the night before. What am I even supposed to do in the morning anyway? I’m not a farmer nor do I have a job. The only thing I had that was somewhat like a profession was entering the dungeon so I guess I’ll do that after breakfast.
Breakfast is something I haven’t eaten in ages. Normally, I just call a meal breakfast as a joke when I grab a dinner so late it’s pretty much the next day. I walked downstairs and found Tom serving eggs and cabbage to Jeff and Jerry while the rest of the bar was empty. If Tom was up now, when did he ever sleep? I took a seat beside Jeff and he put some coins on the table and pointed at me.
“Merchant comes next week. This is iron,” he said while pulling out the rock I gave him last night. Did that mean that the offer with the copper stood with this hunk of iron as well? He’s technically ripping me off but if I pay him back I can make a bit of profit with the merchant. It’s nice that he’s paying for my food and such, but I would much rather get a proper weapon from him.
“Besides that, would you happen to have a good spear along with a mace, bludgeon, or ax I could buy or rent?” I asked Jeff.
“He doesn’t rent weapons, only sells since they’re guaranteed to come back in poor condition or not at all. I’ve got some spare weapons I can get you if you help me with something. I’ll even give you some advice on the dungeon,” said Jerry from the other side of Jeff. I purposely sat here so he wouldn’t talk to me to no avail.
“What sort of advice and what’s in it for you?” I asked back. Fact was that Jerry’s expertise on the dungeon was invaluable to me, but I wasn’t sure if I could trust him fully even with Tom stepping in yesterday.
“I bet you just walk in a straight line through the dungeon until you can’t go any further then scurry out as fast as you can. You’re acting like the way the dungeon wants you to act, not taking advantage of the way things work. Heck, I bet you’ve never even heard of the wheat grind method. I can help you and in exchange share a bit of your luck with me and pay me back in some of the loot you find using the methods I’ll teach you,” said Jerry.
It was a fairly reasonable exchange. I’d get some of his spare weapons he’s not even using at the moment and he’ll share some info that might already be common knowledge. And in return, he’d make a profit off my ventures by having three people doing the dungeon and passing the loot to him instead of two. He has the definite advantage in these negotiations and only loses out if I die in the dungeon.
At the same time, nobody but him knew this sort of thing in town so I had no one else to ask without making an arduous day-long trip to the next town over. And I would lose nothing that I had at the time, just future stuff. If by chance I picked up something more valuable like the dagger, I could just hide it away and pay Jerry back exclusively with things like rocks and ores. A lot of time and even money would be saved by working with Jerry just this one time and if lucky I could break it off within a few days.
“I think I’ll take you up on that offer as long as you don’t try anything funny,” I said as a plate was put before me by Tom. Since eggs are often eaten fresh from the coop, I hadn’t eaten any in ages and immediately dug into it. While I was eating Jeff finished his meal and left, giving me a clear view of Jerry who was smiling for some reason.
“A divine item and two ores within only three trips into the dungeon, quite the luckbag you are. Be sure to share a bit of that luck with me these coming days. If that luck holds up, it’s infinitely better to be your friend than to rob you,” said Jerry, laying his thoughts bare to me. I hoped I was as lucky as his words implied as I’d need luck in the coming days.
After a hearty breakfast, I left the bar with Jerry against my better judgment and met with his two friends outside. Their names were apparently Chris and Matt. Common names to have and I doubt I’d remember them for long. Chris accompanied us as we walked to the dungeon while Matt ran back to his place to grab some spare weapons for me.
“What’s this wheat grind method you mentioned before?” I asked on the way. Jerry tapped Chris on the shoulder and nodded, having him explain instead.
“Well, two generations ago there was this baker from a few towns over who realized something about the nature of dungeons. There is no need to go deep into the dungeon nor do you have to keep the dungeon given to you. So, he would enter the dungeon repeatedly until he found a monster that he could easily defeat, then just wait in the first room for another monster to spawn and kill that too. Monsters will start to spawn faster and faster and he was able to bring back some loot almost every day, sometimes multiple loot per day. It was like putting a bunch of wheat into a grinder and then watching as its grinded down into fine flour over the course of a few hours,” said Chris, explaining the method quite enthusiastically.
“If people can do that, what’s the point of going deeper into the dungeon?” I asked.
“Better loot and a higher chance of loot dropping of course,” responded Chris.
So this is what Jerry and his friends did all day. They were never in any sort of danger with the dungeon. Instead, approaching the dungeon in a low-risk way that still rewarded their efforts occasionally. It was a stark contrast to how I had been dealing with the dungeon. Almost dying on the later floors while they twiddled their thumbs on the earliest floors. If not for the fact they might find out about the enchanted dagger, I would ask them about whether special monsters came out occasionally.
“There’s also the fishing method built upon the wheat grind by you guessed it, a fisherman of the same generation. He would go as far as he could in the dungeon and then go back a bit then wait for monsters at a happy medium. Like a fisherman casting his line then reeling it in a bit to attract the fish. The dungeon treats it like he’s trying to escape and throws monster spawns faster and the chances of loot are a bit higher since he’s not in the first room. The only downside is that there’ll be one or two monsters to fight in each of the rooms back to the surface,” said Jerry. He really was keeping his end of the deal so far, teaching me how to take on the dungeon in a way that’d produce profits without too much risk.
Once we reached the entrance of the dungeon, Matt was already there with a spear and bludgeon, both in moderate to poor condition. They were spare weapons after all, cheap, disposable, and already used a few times so a few nicks and dents couldn’t be helped. Better than a broken bottle or tree branch that was for sure.
“If only we had an artificial convergence device, we could enter the dungeon together. Farewell and good luck with your ventures into the dungeon you three. Until the day we can join a knight order or stand equal to them!” shouted Jerry before hopping into the dungeon. Chris and Matt quickly followed.
People couldn’t enter dungeons in groups normally, the dungeon would split them up into different rooms and different dungeons. Occasionally, on later floors, two dungeons will combine into one in a convergence and two adventurers from other sides of the world could meet up and fight monsters together, or kill each other. Some rare enchanted items could simulate this effect from room one and bring multiple people from one entrance to the same dungeon. That was what Jerry was talking about.
Not sure if I should test out one of the methods taught to me or just explore the dungeon normally. I guess I could figure that out once I went in there and see what the dungeon holds for me today. This time I was prepared with proper weapons. I took a sip of the liquor for good luck and entered the dungeon once again.
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