《A healthy mind in a healthy body》11. Kindred souls.

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Kindred souls.

While Gaius had decided to consult the Head on the feasibility of his idea, he had failed to consider how busy he was. In the time before he was allowed to meet him, he had no choice but to stop and think. And what he thought was the days events.

From his conversation prior to class, to Kotones little breakdown, he had experiences he had never encountered before. Maybe it was that people from ancient times were tougher, or maybe it was that through dumb luck all the people he’d met were strong willed. They, Kotone and Terumi, and maybe Kishi, they hadn't interacted enough to tell, were fragile.

His master, blessed be his soul, had been abandoned by his parents, who told him he was a waste of money, due to lack of it. And yet he smiled and said it was their loss, he would prove them wrong by achieving great things. His family and their servants lived in fear of the army ignoring their bribes and take everything from them. And yet they went on with their lives, refusing to let fear rule their lives. And. Alright he didn't know more people than that. But the point stands.

Things that would have made people he knew to shrug and move on, were crippling to them. Fear of not being loved caused tears to Kotone, when knowledge of hatred brought determination to Marcus. Being teased and discriminated against made Terumi to fear his own shadow, when being persecuted caused his family to live life to the fullest.

It was strange. He had always thought that the people he still remembered across the ages that were like that, were exceptions. But Akechi and Jian thought that was the norm. He couldn't reconcile what he knew about how he’d react, to how others reacted.

He kept thinking about these matters, unable to reach a resolution. To achieve understanding of their burdens, that was what he wanted, but he didn't reach closer to that understanding, no matter how hard he thought.

It was soon after that the Head received him.

Kagayakashii Akairyuu was an old man, maybe not by the difference between how long he'd lived compared to his full lifespan. But he had the mind of a human and not a dragon, and two hundred years was a long time for a human. It was because of his life experience that he immediately saw that something worried Gaius, and being a meddling old man, decided to intervene.

“Welcome Gaius, please sit down. I see something worries you. Maybe you've come to seek my counsel?” Was how he opened the conversation. He smiled and signaled a seat in front of his desk, before taking out a tea set and serving himself tea. “Would you like some tea?”

“Gaius smiled in kind. “Yes, I seek your counsel, but not about my worries. And since I've hardly drank tea, I'm eager to try.” He now felt in his element, with someone that wouldn't break if he spoke frankly.

Kagayakashii Akairyuu served the tea. “And yet your woes would affect this issue you have come for, no? Since it's probably about Senjutsu, and that requires a calm mind. I recommend you speak to someone about it, it doesn't have to be me. But seeking help is how most humans learn to deal with their problems.” He smiled at him while smelling the tea, with gentle eyes.

Gaius thought. That was definitely not how he’d dealt. Wait. It was another who suggested his hermitage. It was a worthy approach, then.

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“Master Kagayakashii, I shall follow your advice. It has come to my attention that people are not as resilient as I think they are, and I have trouble understanding how they can be so frail. In the old times those I knew would have dealt far better with their issues.”

The Head was startled. Not because of his worry, but because of the nostalgia in Gaius’ eyes when he spoke of the past. He smiled inwardly, finally someone understood.

“Think of it like this, maybe it isn't that they don't deal with their issues as well. But that they are more willing to show their weakness.”

Gaius nearly jumped.

“But why would someone hide how they feel?” After all, he had never done so.

“Because they fear that others will take advantage of their weakness. Because they don't want to worry their loved ones. Because society would shun them. There are many reasons.” Akairyuu was bemused, he didn't understand even that?

“But if someone uses your emotional weakness against you, they were never worthy of your respect, and you shouldn't worry about them, or what they do. And if your loved ones really are close eventually they will notice something was wrong, and they will worry even more, since they don't know what is wrong. The last one makes sense though, as much as I don't like it. I was also shunned just because of what I believed in.” Gaius tried to understand.

“That is true, for the most part, but not everyone has the presence of mind to accept that some people will never like them. Also not everyone is so attentive as you, so they might be able to hide better. Or simply not think of the big pictured.” Akairyuu paused to taste the tea. “You have the problem of having always been reasonable and stable. As such you lack the ability to understand those who are neither of those.”

They paused to think. Akairyuu’s eyes brightened.

“I know how to explain it. Has there been any time in your life where you couldn't surpass one of your problems?”

“Yes. I found myself unable to stop hating those that persecuted us, I hated myself for it.”

“What? Why would you do that?” That had really surprised the Head.

“Matthew 5, 38-48,

You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

These words do not mean that you should bend to the will of those who wish you harm. But that you recognise they want you harm, and yet understand them, hold no hate for them, and be willing to aid them. You should turn someone from evil with good, not with evil. Of course they should still pay their debts with their victim and society, but not as an act of retribution, but punishment.

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To understand your that your enemy is just human. You should want for them to redeem themselves, not to condemn them.

This is my interpretation of this passage. I had trouble understanding and achieving this. I felt that by not doing that I was a bad christian, and my faith was lacking.”

Akairyuu was stunned. After a few moments he spoke.

“That is what you couldn't do? Something like that is impossible for most people! And you say you only had ‘trouble’. Never mind people, most christians I know of don't do that. What kind of inhuman monster are you?”

“Then they are bad christians.” Was Giaus’ answer. He reclined backwards, and threw the most unimpressed look at him that he could muster.

“Let's ignore your, ‘abnormality’, for now.” Akairyuu shaked his head. “What I want you to think is how you felt at that moment.”

“Doing it.”

“Now I want you to know that that is how many people feel most of the time. Above all those you call frail.”

“Huh?” Gaius rose on his chair. “How can they live like that! Such hopelessness and weakness would crush me if was like that!”

Akairyuu smiled sadly. “That's just because you've always been strong of spirit. Your first reaction when realising there was something wrong with you was not to deny or hide it. But to surpass it. For most people that would be an extremely difficult decision, and yet you live your entire life like that.

Gaius, when most people are told they need to change, they reject it unless you present them with overwhelming evidence that they'd be better if they changed and they feel they are right. And sometimes not even then.

People who are psychiatrically depressive, that is, depressive due to mental illnesses, refuse to take medication constantly. They fear that it'd change who they are, even if they would feel better with it. Even when people need to change they fear change. You don't.

Things like that is why you don't understand normal people. You've never been normal, and you never will. Even if you don't understand them, you must learn to recognise their weakness and deal with them appropriately, otherwise you will be always alone. Even I am not that strong.”

Gaius didn't speak, but after some time he chuckled. “How have you gone from my desire to understand people to me needing to do so to not be alone?”

“Because you want to understand them. If you didn't care about them you wouldn't. And if you care about people you won't want them to avoid you.”

Gaius thought for some time, before sighing and saying seriously.

“Thanks for your advice. I will try to follow it.”

“That's all I ask.”

They smiled at each other, before Gaius commented.

“Though not all times when someone tells you to change you should. Sometimes it's said because they can't accept you, not because there's something wrong with you.”

“Of course. One has to choose carefully who they listen to.”

“Yeah.”

They fell into comfortable silence for some time. Akairyuu ended it by steeling himself and putting his tea cup down.

“I actually want your advice.”

“Go ahead.”

“How do you manage to be some calm when you speak about those you've left behind? How are you not crying at the thought? Time has lessened my wounds, but how do you do that?” Akairyuu said, bending forward.

“Time hasn't lessened your wounds, has it? They're only numb? Otherwise you wouldn't have asked with such desperation.”

“Yes, that's right.” Akairyuu shaked his head. “I've outlived everyone my age I've known. And I still have half my life left. The only reason I look old is because I can choose what age I look like, and I'm too old to look young.”

“I don't know if my answer will satisfy you. I simply know that they lived their lives to their fullest, that if they died they were either satisfied or they had done their best at living. I also know they're in a better place. But that only lessens the pain. No matter how much I think that some part of me will never accept that. It will always hurt.

But at the same time I… No, I have a better way of saying it. I remember, during my stay in the Caliphate, that one of my keepers was a young man who lost his family in an accident. He once confided to my body that he wished that no one would remember him when he died, so they wouldn't feel like he did. I reassured him that his family was happy before they died, and that had they seen him they would have scolded him for letting their deaths ruin his happiness. And that was actually the truth, for at the time I was incapable of doing anything else.

This story has taught be that while grieving is just a sign of your love for them. Letting it be the most important thing in your life would be an insult to them. They wouldn't wish for their parting to do that to you. As such, while I am in pain. While I miss them. While I am LOST at the thought that probably all those born in my era are dead. I can not let it make me miserable, for their sake. Because I love them, I must move on. I have no other choice. It is my duty, to not make them the reason for my misery.

So, Akairyuu, would they wish you harm? Would they be happy with being the cause of your misery?”

Tears fell on the desk, and the man behind the Head crumbled in his seat. He sobbed for a few moments. But he composed himself.

“No, they wouldn't.” He smiled, this time from his heart. “No, they wouldn't.”

“Then you can be happy, even if they're no longer here.”

Akairyuu didn't speak, he only smiled and closed his eyes. He then opened the.

“Thank you. I never could trust this to others. I was the Head, I had to be strong. I only asked you because I could see you had worn this burden. Thank you, really. I needed that.”

“No problem, Head.”

“Bah! None of that Head business, we've bared it all to each, to hell with courtesy. Call me what you like.” Akairyuu scolded Gaius in fake anger.

“Then I'll just call you Akai. Sorry but your full name is a mouthful.”

“My friends used to say the same. I hoped I could find you among their numbers.” Akai said, with a little apprehension.

“You gave me solid advice, and trusted me with your problems. I would be honoured.”

“Good.”

They smiled at each other, and finished their tea. Akai coughed and remembered.

“We actually have divagated a bit, but didn't you come for something?”

“Oh shit that's right! I came up with a possible Senjutsu technique. I wanted advice on whether it's possible.”

“Go ahead.”

Gaius explained what had happened with Kotone.

“And I thought, wouldn't it be possible to instead of expelling the corruption, transform it into different kind of curses and use it as an attack?”

Akai looked at him slack jawed. He then composed himself and proclaimed wryly.

“Only you. Only you would think to use the great weakness of Senjutsu as an advantage.”

“Then do you think it's impossible?”

“Hell no! Let's go somewhere, I have the perfect place in mind for this.”

He rose from his seat, grabbed Gaius and brought him to a well in the middle of the Moon God Pavillion.

He signaled to it and announced what it was.

“Behold, the Mouth of Yomi, where the clan imprisons evil spirits too powerful to kill, and slowly drains their power. I use it to practice my severing, since the deeper you go the more corruption there is. I was going to let you use it once little Kotone improved a bit, since naturals don't need to practice. Let's go inside, shall we?”

He performed a hand seal. The well began to emit purple miasma and some chains shot from the air and lifted a silver platform. A four armed humanoid in golden armour sat in it. Their voice rang, inhumanly deep and brimming with power.

“Why have you brought company, Xiao Hong? This is a place of great importance, outsiders shouldn't be brought here.”

“Honourable Shénshèng Shǒuhù Zhě Jīnsèdìměidé. This man is Gaius Atiius Quadratus, of whom I've told you.”

“You bring him early.”

“He has come for a technique which requires corruption.”

The being lifted their head.

“Explain it.”

Akairyuu did so, speaking respectfully.

“The idea is feasible, yet you fail, Xiao Hong.”

“Why is that, Shénshèng Shǒuhù Zhě?”

“He offers you a technique, and you offer nothing in exchange. You may only have two techniques, but that is enough for an exchange.”

Akairyuu blinked. He opened his mouth. He closed it.

“Didn't think of that. I apologise Gaius. I have two techniques to offer you. The first allows you to change your spiritual presence and magical signature to that of your surroundings, making you invisible to detection through spiritual or magical means. Great for stealth.

The second allows you to read a beings mind through their spiritual presence.”

Gaius answered immediately. “The first one, I'm tired of being in people's minds.”

Akairyuu nodded, and turned to the guardian deity.

“The exchange is acceptable. Welcome Sage Gaius. May your stay be fruitful.”

The being descended down the well and a set of descending stars appeared.

Gaius and Akai began to descend. As they went deeper the well expanded, until after three minutes they reached barren ground.

It was filled with rock protrusions, with talismans in their surface. There were thousands. The air was filled with thin purple miasma.

“Welcome to level one. This place is good enough for our purpose. Don't break the stones or the spirits will escape.”

They began to practice the technique. After forty minutes they showed results, and Akairyuu began to teach Gaius his technique.

They remained underground for a long time, unaware of time.

Twelve hours later.

A red eastern dragon was floating in the air breathing a purple mist in. It suddenly stopped and opened its eyes before shooting a purple beam from its mouth. It hummed, satisfied, before descending and shape shifting into a man. It was Kagayakashii Akairyuu.

Gaius approached him.

“You have reached a great mastery in manipulating corruption, Akai.”

“Not as much as you. Now I understand the difference between a natural and a learned. You learned two techniques in the time I learned one! Your corruption control is ridiculous.” Complained Akai, grumbling at the unfairness of the world.

“Of course, the universe gifted me my ability. That means I am most suited to it.”

“Grumble grumble.”

Gaius stopped.

“Have you just said grumble grumble?”

“Yes. Ignoring your unfair unfairness. I am one step closer to Godzilla!”

“Godzilla, that's a… Kaiju, were they called?”

Akairyuu was outraged. “You don't know Godzilla?! Heresy!”

“I know of it, but I haven't had time to watch much modern entertainment. I haven't even caught up with the classics.”

“That's it. Sunday is your religions rest day no?” Gaius nodded. “From now on it's culture appreciation day. I'll choose a list of books, movies, series and the such, and you'll watch it. This last two centuries have the best entertainment ever. You can't not know pop culture. Let the nerdiness flow through your body. Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies.”

“Star Wars, right? Alright I have nothing better to do.”

“Good, now to catch a few hours of sleep and then show you the superiority of Kaijus, manga, and anime.”

Gaius smiled before going up the stairs.

"Oh, shit! I forgot to do the evenings paperwork!"

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