《The Dark Lands: A Villainess’s Guide to Settling into Her New Home》CHapter 23: Fire and Traps
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A displeased rumble escaped from Orukk the Blooddrinkers' throat as the warlord sat uncomfortably in his rugged wooden throne. The oversized and hastily built throne bowed and shuddered as the scarred orc leaned back onto the furniture's backboard.
While Orukk had found the craftmanship of his temporary throne to be of poor quality and always put the violent warlord into a sour mood, today was one of those rare moments where even the shoddy workmanship of his lesser followers to be the least of his worries.
Orukk closed his eyes and let out an aggravated yet regretful sigh as he began to think back on the siege's course of events.
He was pleased with how his army had caught the human's unaware and forcing the foolish creatures to cower behind their wooden walls, but the warlords initial choice of leadership had left much to be desired. The lieutenants that he had chosen upon arriving in this desolate and volcanic region had done nothing but squandered his future kingdom's potential into ruin. The massacre at the nearby lake had all but made up his mind in seeking out a new officer corps that would be worthy to carry out his orders.
There were the overeager scouting parties that were foolish enough to try and scale the enemy's walls. Only for them to drown or be impaled by the cleverly hidden spikes that were just below the moats watery surface. He would have killed those in charge of such folly, but unfortunately, the scout masters had died alongside their idiotic minions.
Orukk coughed up a large glob of spit and noisily spat it at the ground in disgust over the thought of some fool taking charge and going off on his own. What the warlord wanted was a group of followers who obeyed his every whim and enacted his orders to the letter.
He thought that he had found one such follower in a young and eager orc, but the idiot had managed to get himself killed when the siege tunnels had collapsed and crushed his pathetic corpse.
Orukk's let out a fierce growl as his right hand gripped tightly around the throne's armrest, flakes of wood shavings hung limply from his unkempt fingernails as he continued to scratch at the rugged piece of furniture.
There were other, less irritating reasons for the warlord to have found various forms of displeasure at those under his harsh command, but Orukk didn't dare to bring up the tiniest of annoyances. He was in no mood to seek out some poor, unfortunate band of goblins to batter until his fists were covered in their blood.
Time slowly moved on as the orc's thoughts began to settle down. A flash of lightning, quickly followed by the crack of thunder, forced the dissatisfied warlord to look towards the source of bright light. As Orukk stared at the jagged hole within his walls, a hole that he had made when he had thrown another one of his failed lieutenants, rain began to pour down from the sky in buckets.
The orc's already sour mood worsened as he sat quietly and watched helplessly as pools of rainwater began to accumulate all around his dilapidated home. A violent crack of thunder shook the swaying walls, allowing more cracks to form along the already hole-riddled roof.
Where once the rain only dripped down at a mild pace, there were now tiny waterfalls pouring down onto the mud-covered floor of his pathetic abode.
Orukk let out a fierce snarl as he realized that he couldn't take his eyes off of the leaky roof. If it weren't for the fact that he had already killed the sorry excuse of an architect that had built this pathetic structure he called his home, then the warlord would have been more than happy to remove himself from this scrapheap and kill the orc in question.
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'Why must I suffer in leading these idiots?' The warlord thought to himself as he rapidly tapped a bloodied finger along the throne's cracked armrest.
Orukk let out another deep sigh as he kicked out his feet and buried his head in his left hand. He had finally come to realize the reason as to why his race was so well known for their constant infighting and self-destructive tendencies.
'Just how many of my own men must I kill before I'm able to lead a functioning army?' Orukk let out a huff of air as he quietly bemoaned his position of leadership.
"Warlord?" Coughed out a shrill voice, forcing the warlord to open his eyes and seek out the pathetic sounding speaker.
In front of his hut's main entrance stood a hideous and malformed orc that had yet to draw the ire of his master. The creatures misshapen skull and mangled arm were a dead giveaway as to the newcomers' identity, Snarltusk. One of the last remaining orcs within the newly established tribe that had yet to draw the ire of the violent warlord.
Snarltusk stood nervously in the open portal as he awaited his master's response.
"What is it, wretch?" Orukk glared at the meek orc as his voice rumbled throughout the ramshackle hut. The walls let out a haunting groan as their supporting beams began to buckle under the storm's immense pressure.
Snarltusk took a step back and cast his eyes the ground as he cleared out the fear from his throat. The orc's diminutive arm reached out towards its sole healthy twin and attempted to grab hold of its slender frame. The hand could only grasp at empty air as the arm could barely go halfway across his chest.
The malformed orc's voice shivered in fright as he looked up to answer his master's question. "I've come to inform you that the sun is set to rise within the next hour," Snarltusk paused to take an audible gulp as he attempted to avoid the warlord's menacing glare. "Per your orders, of course."
Orukk remained quiet as he stared down the malformed orcs pathetic form, allowing the musty air to weigh heavily on the malformed orc's shoulders. The warlord let out a heavy breath of air before finally giving the messenger a response.
"Anything else?" He asked as he waited for some form of bad news to reach his ears.
Snarltusk shook his head vigorously as he gave the tribe's master an answer. "No, Master. Unless your desires have changed since we've last spoken, then the artillery crews will begin their bombardment within the next half hour. Once the sky is filled with our fury, then the army will begin its assault on your command."
The shivering orc slowly looked up into Orukk's powerful eyes as he recited the message he was to give to his quick-to-anger leader. Snarltusk had made it his life's mission to remember as much of the message as he could. His very life was at stake were he to fail in doing so.
Despite how he had lived for most of his life, Snarltusk wanted to live just a little bit longer.
Orukk gave the hideous orc a toothy smile as he allowed the tiniest amount of joy to part his stern face. "Very well," The orc pushed himself out of his crackling throne and rolled his shoulders as he stood proudly over the sniveling coward. "Proceed as planned and see to it that the artillery crews do their duty in filling the sky with our victorious might."
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Large droplets of rain pelted down onto Argonok's midnight black suit of armor as the usually emotive Fireguard stood motionless as he watched the dueling artillery barrages vie for supremacy. Fire drenched boulders, some the size of horse-drawn carriages, riddled the sky as the two sides slowly dialed into the others' artillery positions.
So far, neither of the two armies had much luck in reducing their enemy's capabilities to deal damage from afar.
As an explosion rocked the world around him, flashes of lightning tore away at the rain heavy black clouds, turning Argonok's pitch black suit of armor into a shimmering shade of blood red.
"Looks like them boys have gone and run out of them swirly rocks." Came an amused sounding voice as the entirety of the human army watched in silence as several men slowly began to filter back towards friendly lines.
It was as the voice had said, the small number of men that now ran for their lives and hastily thrown their stockpile of arcane grenades over the towering palisades that had managed to keep them safe from harm. The weapons gifted to the humans by the elven sorceress Velicion had been misused and carelessly thrown into the oblivion. Something that the sorceress would surely find as a disgusting use of her magical arsenal.
Argonok turned his head to his right to try and see who it was that had spoken, but the dwarf was too late to catch the voice's owner. No one wanted to speak up and talk about what was to come.
With no one able to see the results of the sorceress's labor, the rank and file of Ruined Home's defenders stood silently as the rain continued to batter their shivering bodies. All anyone could have hoped for was to wish for the best and see that their potential killer had been maimed in the pre-battle engagement.
'Did those boys just decide to go out of their way and waste a perfectly good batch of homemade grenades?' Argonok silently wondered to himself as cheers rose up from the men nearby as the first of the retreating grenadiers made it back into the human's battle lines.
The Fireguard tilted his head to the left as he caught bits and pieces of the conversations that came with the obligatory congratulations on the grenadier's safe returns. A few of the men, smiling happily as they straightened out their backs to catch their breath, shrugged off several questions as to how many of the grey-skinned creatures they think they had managed to kill.
'At least they're smart enough not to answer such stupid questions,' Argonok thought to himself as he returned his attention to the encampments front gates.
"I don't think they killed anyone out there," A stern voice said from somewhere behind Argonok as something massive crashed into the encampments front gates, forcing the massive gates to bulge outwards before snapping back into their original positions.
Several of the nearby soldiers nodded their heads, and another massive crash rocked the gates. A terrible cracking of wood pierced the ears of those around the unimpressed Fireguard, forcing several of the men to flinch in pain as they covered their ears.
"I heard some of the older folks talking about the trolls that are out there," A young and incredibly nervous voice said as several heads looked up to watch as another wave of fiery boulders arced through the air before crashing down onto the earth below.
The familiar voice of Captain Boris rang out through the torrential downpour as the expeditionary leader called for the encampments artillery to return fire once more.
Argonok remained silent as he watched the human's missiles vanish over the horizon and crash into the forest that lay just beyond the walls.
"They say that them beasts can regrow their limbs in the blink of an eye and that they like to grab hold of their prey and eat them even when in battle."
More of the orc's flame engulfed artillery barrage came into view as several heads turned to look down at the strangely quiet Fireguard.
"They'll do that," Argonok said as he remained focused on the gates in front of them. "But don't let that scare you into being a frozen ninny. Trolls are just like everyone else. They die when it's their time, and if you make it a quick job, then they won't be able to recover even the most hideous of wounds."
Argonok allowed his words to settle the anxious minds of the young men around him as he jostled the halberd in his metallic hands. To the keenest of ears, one would be able to hear the faintest sound of liquid sloshing around, but the veteran Fireguard was well aware that the storm was able to mask even the most obvious of noises.
A thunderous explosion erupted from the front gates as man-sized splinters of wood flew out from the encampment's walls. A great cheer rose from the awaiting grey-skinned horde as a pair of meaty, wart-infested hands gripped the top of the wooden gates and began to pull them apart.
"How many have you killed?" A young boy to Argonok's right asked as the human's eyes remained locked on the scene before him.
Loud cheers and blood-curdling cries filled the air as most of the Troll's body was finally revealed to the awaiting human army. The hideous creature let out a celebratory grunt as it kicked at the gate's bottom half.
"More than enough," Argonok answered as he watched the trolls clubbed foot smash through the gate with ease.
Blood poured from various wounds on the sturdy creature's massive foot and drenched the muddied ground below as the vile beast struggled to dislodge the wounded extremity from its wooden prison. The gate buckled and groaned as the troll punched a fist through the front gate, sending deadly splinters into every direction.
"They're easier to kill then you think," Argonok continued. "Just be sure to get in a few good strikes before they do the same to you."
"Right." The person nodded at the dwarf's unhelpful piece of advice as the troll finally managed to free itself and stumble out of sight.
Eager to do battle, the horde of ravenous goblins began to pour through the sundered gates in a mass of grey-skinned flesh. The last remnants of the once formidable gates crumbled into ruin as the maddened army rushed towards the waiting humans.
As dozens of the creatures rushed past the gates, their bodies disappeared from view as their combined weight activated the closest of the hastily dug pit traps. Soon, more of the unfortunate victim's fellow brothers-in-arms fell victim to the effects of the deadly trap that awaited to skewer their heinous hides.
This was but one of many similar traps that awaited the oncoming horde of barbaric monsters.
"Archers," An unfamiliar voice called out as more of the goblins fell to their deaths. A few of the more acrobatic creatures tried to jump the gap but failed and fell to their deaths as well. "Ready your arrows!"
Before the trap could fully gorge itself on the bodies of its creator's enemies, the bloodthirsty beasts had appeared to have enough, and a horn blared out amongst the chittering masses of red-eyed monsters.
The eyes of those around the silent Fireguard shifted uneasily to their brothers-in-arms as they watched the Goblins stumble over one another as their momentum came to a swift end. A few of the creatures fell into the pit below and met their untimely end as those behind them slammed into their backside in order to prevent the same thing from happening to them.
Several of the twisted creatures let out a menacing smile as their throats cackled in cruel laughter as they found humor in the cruel fates of those less fortunate than them.
None of the men around Argonok had found the agonizing end of their hideous enemies to be humorous in the slightest of ways.
Minutes passed as silence fell over the battlefield, and the only sound of battle came from the dueling orchestra of the rival artillery batteries. In the pause of battle, a voice called out that a fire had broken out within the encampment.
Whether or not that call had been answered, Argonok couldn't be certain as not a single voice had been raised to acknowledge the voice's concern.
From out of sight, a great and vicious roar erupted as something cracked in the distance. Shortly after, a massive boulder hurtled through the front entrance and crashed into the ever-hungry trap. A soft, bone-shattering crunch could be heard just before a second boulder joined it in their new home.
"Well," Argonok chuckled as he found humor in what he saw before him. "At least they're smart about it."
It didn’t take long for the goblins to return and swarm passed the boulder-filled pit. The grey-skinned beasts cackled menacingly as they climbed over and dropped back down to the rain-drenched ground, mud splashed all around their wicked forms as more and more of the creatures followed suit.
A brave few of the creatures had dared risk the ire of the humans and allowed themselves to dance gleefully atop of the massive boulders. Their gangly forms bounced to and fro in a spectacular display of lumbering footwork as their fellow brethren broke ranks to allow the dancing band to have their fun at the impending doom of the humans.
Their celebrations were short-lived, however, as Argonok watched on as the dancing band of goblins was quickly shoved out of the way of their more impatient brethren, and the goblins promptly fell out of sight and disappeared beneath the grey tide of the charging army.
Uncharacteristic laughter escaped from beneath the Fireguard’s helmet as the cursed dwarf had found the goblin’s fate to be amusing. He had always seen the death of those around him to be a deeply satisfying event, even more so when someone had met an end as humorous as the dancing goblins had.
“Is now the time to be laughing, dwarf?” Someone behind Argonok asked as the horde of hideous beasts continued to charge towards the human’s front line. There was a shout, and a hail of arrows pierced the bodies of a large number of goblins.
Most of those hit by the human missiles fell to the ground and disappeared beneath the feet of their unconcerned brethren; their deaths meant little to their former tribe’s members. Some of the creatures appeared to have been angered by the cruel fates of those less fortunate than them, and they threw various objects towards the objects of their ire. All of the makeshift missiles failed to get very far and soon landed harmlessly onto the ground.
“Why shouldn’t I be laughing?” Argonok said as he continued to stare forward, watching as another, separate, pitfall managed to snare more goblins in its booby-trapped depths. The goblin army continued to charge forward regardless of this new obstacle, and many fell to their deaths while those further back found a new path towards their awaiting enemies. “These beasts are always good for a laugh. No matter how dire of a situation we’re in.”
A few of the nearby men let out their misgivings towards the dwarf’s distasteful words in unintelligible mumblings. Still, they all found it unnecessary to clearly state their true feelings on the matter. They had a battle to fight, and the conscripted soldiers didn’t dare to run afoul of their powerful ally.
As more of the grey-skinned army began to rush past the destroyed gates and drown the cleared out encampment with their sinewy forms, more of the human’s traps began to take the lives of countless goblins. As more and more bodies of the seemingly unaware creatures fell to their doom, the center and right flanks of the charging horde began to falter in their momentum and slowly came to a crawl.
With their charge now broken, the hesitant creatures became the prime target of the human archers, and many lives of the cowardly monsters were put to an end for good.
A great cheer rose up from the rank and file of the human's army as they watched on with cheerful smiles at the broken charge of their menacing foe.
The left flank of the army had no such luck as they were soon locked in battle with the grey tide, and the sounds of battle rang out through the blanket of rain.
"I don't envy them over there," A younger voice said frightfully as those around Argonok continued to watch the center flank of the goblin army become easy prey for the humans and their archers.
The Fireguard was quick to pick out several goblins who had found the courage to try and rally their fellow soldiers and continue forward. The more vocal of the creatures were dealt with by their fellow brethren and cut down like pitiful dogs. A few of them had even been pushed into nearby pitfalls.
As the floundering army continued to flail about uselessly, Argonok began to wonder just how long it would take before the chaotic mass of useless flesh would turn tail and run.
He didn't have to wait long for an answer as an ear-piercing roar tore through the sky, turning the heads of many towards the source of the monstrous sound.
Out of the distant haze came the gangly forms of one of the most feared creatures of the world. Trolls. The long-limbed and fleet-footed beasts waded through the mass of goblins haphazardly, crushing several of the smaller creatures without so much as a care in the world for their wellbeing.
As the trolls were cleared off the front gates cramped design, the towering monsters swung their weapons in deadly arcs, sending the limp corpses of over a dozen goblins flying into the air with each wild swing. The gruesome causalities that the roaring creatures inflicted upon their allies were of ill concern for the trolls as they continued to make their way towards the human lines.
Seeing as they had no other option but to push forward, the goblins took note of the presence of their deadly allies and rallied themselves to face off against what was to come. A few of the diminutive creatures raised their weapons into the air and charged towards the closest enemy.
For some of them, Argonok just so happened to be the closest thing.
"Now we're talking," The Fireguard called out as he lowered his weapon, with the men around him quickly following suit and readied their weapons. The hulking suit of armor reached back along the weapon's shaft and allowed its fingers to dance along the raised surface of a trigger guard. The weapon let out a hungry hiss as vapors of heat began to flicker to life near the halberd's wicked blades.
As the goblins drew closer and with the trolls not far behind them, someone called out for the men to steel their nerves and to get in a good first strike.
Argonok's fingers continued to dance along the edges of the weapons mysterious trigger; his eyes were locked onto the closest troll. The massive creature had managed to leave its brothers in its wake and was about to overtake even the quickest goblins. The beast hung its jaw open and let loose a terrifying roar as it wildly swung its clubbed weapon in the air. It wanted to be the first of his kind to slake his thirst for human blood and to crunch his teeth against the pitiful army's bones.
Argonok chuckled to himself as he quietly realized that he would be smiling at what was to come if he had a mouth to do such an act.
With a massive step, the troll leapt into the air and collided into the ground in a powerful explosion of mud and rocks. Argonok buried the hilt of his weapon deep into the ground and leveled it against the crazed monsters head as the bloodthirsty beast bent down low and struck out its arms, its meaty fingers digging into the rain-drenched earth as a cavity riddled grin met the countless confused stares of the humans before it. Within a blink of an eye, the creature launched itself forward and raised its weapon into the air, ready to crush its many foes before it in a powerful explosion of blood riddled gore.
"Are all trolls this stupid?" Argonok asked in a maniacal fit of laughter as he pulled the trigger.
An explosion rocked the air around him as white-hot flames erupted from the Fireguard's weapon, covering the entire area in front of the armor bound dwarf in a sea of fire.
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