"Master Conrad did what?!" Beta gasped, looking almost scandalized.

"He slapped the dremora over its head," Sven repeated as he rinsed off another dish. "I saw it and I still can't believe it."

"Ta'Sava wonders… does that mean that Sven now has a dremora servant?" the young Khajiit asked as he dried a plate of his own.

"Technically… yes," Sven slowly admitted.

"Then why isn't the dremora washing the dishes?" Ta'Sava asked as he placed the now dried dish on a nearby stack. It had been a large dinner with themselves, Master Conrad, Naruto, Inoichi-san and his family as well as a couple of Inoichi's friends that had been very worried. Once the dinner had finished, they had been put in charge of washing the dishes as a way to thank the Yamanaka for their hospitality and, as Master Conrad had put it, as collective punishment for dabbling in magic they should not even have known existed yet.

No magic allowed, obviously. At least being alone in the kitchen allowed them to speak in their native language.

"Because it's still locked in a cell," Sven replied before smirking. "He protested, but Master Conrad told him that our deal didn't say anything about letting him out of the cell."

"So… what did he say?" Beta asked.

"I… I'm not sure I can talk about it. The Shinobi had seemed very worried after we told them—"

"Sven, the Shinobi have left, that Ino girl is pestering Naruto with questions, Inoichi-san is trying to talk with his wife who was angry at him for some reason—"

"Angry?" Ta'Sava asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Trust me, she was. My point is, we're alone in the kitchen and we're not talking in Akaviri, nobody will know what we're saying."

"Fine, I guess Master Conrad will eventually tell you guys anyway," Sven sighed. "How to explain this… do you remember reading about Mannimarco and Vanus Galerion?"

"Sure we do," Beta nodded. "Mannimarco is only the most notorious necromancer that ever lived and Galerion founded the Mages Guild. Of course we know who you're talking about!"

"Right. So, turns out that something around a thousand years ago, there was a mage of similar skill and power here in Akavir, if not stronger."

"Stronger?" Ta'Sava asked incredulously.

"This wizard, he… he concealed all of Akavir from the eyes of the daedric princes. Since then, they haven't been able to directly influence the continent."

For a moment his fellow students didn't say anything, seemingly stunned at the concept of someone being powerful enough to even contemplate doing such a thing. Then, Beta finally asked what they were all wondering.

"How?"

:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:

Conrad stared at the single moon in the sky as the crickets sang their song in the night.

He took a large sip of his drink. It wasn't mead, and his soul cried out at the taste of the rice wine, but it would just have to do for now. There seemed to be nothing else on this Divines-forsaken continent.

A cloud passed over the moon, briefly obsuring the light. Conrad wondered at it. The dremora had thankfully bought his bluff and revealed what he had known, which hadn't been much. But it had shed new light on the strangeness of this land.

Such a feat of magic was way beyond a mortal's reach. To create a celestial body and then use it as the focal point of your magic to wholly veil an entire realm from the sight of all the Princes… it was enough to make his head spin, and not because of the swill he was drinking.

He wondered if it was also related to the lack, or at least reduced number of monsters that roamed around.

"Just who in Oblivion were you?" he asked to nobody. He was a bit grateful that whoever the mage of old had been, he wasn't around anymore. Otherwise he would probably rule Akavir as a god-king, making Vivec look like a child playing with blocks in comparison. Tamriel would've never stood a chance against such power.

In the end, Conrad just shrugged. He didn't care much about the life of wizards of old, only about how to fix the current problem. He took an instinctive swig of his bottle only to find that it was empty.

Deciding he was not even close to drunk enough, he left the empty bottle on the porch and stumbled back into the house. There was bound to be some more of this sake stuff in there.

He heard voices as he walked towards the living room, and for a moment he wondered if Inoichi's daughter was still tormenting Naruto with questions, but instead he came upon the scene of Inoichi, who still looked worse to wear, being quietly hissed at by his wife.

What was her name, again?

The man was practically stumbling back as he tried to ward off her anger but as soon as they noticed him they separated and mumbled some weak excuse to cover up their fight, but Conrad just strolled to the cabinet where their host stored what passed for liquor around here.

"Harissen-san, I hope you'll find your accommodations to your liking, it was the best we could do on such a short notice," the woman said politely, looking pointedly at her husband at the last part.

Conrad simply nodded, taking a sniff from a bottle.

"Now if you excuse me, I think I better send the children to bed," she said before turning to leave. Conrad guessed that Naruto would be spending the night here.

"Sure, sure. Inoichi, when you're feeling better there are things we should talk about," Conrad said, looking at the mind-walker.

That immediately stopped the woman on the door's frame. "Better? What does he mean with 'when you feel better'?" she asked, turning towards her husband. Conrad winced. "Is this related to why you came home looking like something the cat dragged in?"

Inoichi briefly shot Conrad a glare, but the Nord just shrugged. He wasn't the one who'd delved into a daedra's mind, and he wasn't the one who'd apparently thought hiding it from his wife was a good idea.

"I'm…" Inoichi hesitated, and his wife's lips grew distinctly pursed as she grew more and more displeased. "I can't tell you, it's classified."

The woman's eyes only narrowed more. "I see." Then she turned towards Conrad with an unchanged expression. "Would you please excuse us, Harissen-san?"

Conrad decided that discretion was the better part of valour, especially when a woman scorned was involved. He quickly grabbed a couple of bottles per hand and went back to the garden.

He had barely drank half of one when Inoichi showed up with a similar look to that of a whipped dog.

"I'm going to be sleeping on the couch tonight. Thank you for that," the shinobi said as he sat beside him.

Conrad snorted. That was one of the reasons he had never married. That, and the fact that the last woman he had considered marrying had stabbed him in his left lung.

Uhh, another headache.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, taking another sip to bury the unpleasant memory.

"I'm fine, the potion you gave me helped calm my nerves," Inoichi answered.

"That's not what I mean," Conrad said. Of course the potion had helped; he had made it. He still couldn't believe he had had to insist so much before Shikaku had allowed him to, though.

"Look, I know it was a stupid decision, but it had had to be done!" the mind-walker tried to justify.

"People don't just… go inside a dremora's mind and leave unhurt," he countered. Not that there were a lot of documented cases like this one, but Inoichi would be incredibly lucky if there were no side-effects. Especially if a Prince was involved.

"How bad do you think it is?" Inoichi asked after a moment of silence. Conrad hummed a little at that.

"Nightmares, for sure. You may also feel like you're going through it again every now and then."

"Flashbacks, great. I figured as much. Anything else?"

"Well… if you ever feel like you want to eat a heart or hear voices in your head, I want you to notify someone immediately."

"Heh," Inoichi snorted before looking at him with a frown. "...that was a joke, right?"

Conrad's only answer was finishing what was left in the bottle. "Then, there's the matter of Boethiah…"

"That is the... Prince, right?"

"He... she... whatever, reigns over killing, combat, lying... stabbing people in the back, breaking their trust. Makes people go against their leaders," Conrad tried to explain, stopping to find the right words.

"What do you mean, she reigns?"

"I mean that she has power over that domain and everything in it. Princes can influence people with whispers, dreams, promises of power... Boethiah is not even the worst one. If they find a way back here, people will have dreams. Visions. They'll hear things... and cults will start to appear."

Inoichi was silent for a long while, turning very pale. "And I'm one of the worst people to have under her influence."

Conrad nodded bluntly, softening the truth wouldn't help. "You met the Prince through a memory, that's... unusual. Maybe you will be fine, but maybe... As I said, tell someone if you start hearing voices."

Inoichi turned to Conrad. "Is there any way to resist their influence...? If they find a way here?"

"Well..." Conrad frowned in thought. "Back at home, people usually ask counsel to the local priest, or to a group that follows Stendarr... I'm not sure how to translate their name though, but—"

"... are you seriously suggesting religion?" Inoichi asked in disbelief.

"Religion is not just words and hollow priests asking for tribute. The gods are real, Inoichi, I should know. So are Daedric Princes. You met one, is it so hard to believe in the opposite?"

"It's just... shinobi aren't exactly spiritual types, given the life we chose."

"Neither I am. I'm not exactly very faithful."

"Wait, you argue that gods are real, but you don't pray to them?"

Conrad gave an irreverent shrug. "Never did me any good. But who knows. It may help."

"And to which god should I pray?"

"I don't know your gods, but you could always try Stendarr. He doesn't like daedra. I could even carve you a necklace with his icon if you want," Conrad proposed. For all he knew, the third moon was keeping the Aedra away from Akavir as well, but trying wouldn't harm Inoichi.

Inoichi breathed out a relieved sigh. "Thank you… It's happened to you too, right? Catching a Daedric Prince's interest?"

He just shrugged and took a sip from his new bottle before answering. "Tamriel has been dealing with them for a long, long time. I've had to deal with my own share."

"Conrad," Inoichi said, calling him by his name for the first time. The Nord stopped mid-sip. "Assuming they're able to come here because of my meeting with Boethiah, is there any way we can stop them from breaking through?"

Conrad slowly put the bottle down and sighed before looking the Shinobi in the eyes. "... I don't know. Maybe that wizard of old knew, but he's not around to tell us about it."

Inoichi adopted a thoughtful look. "You know, I think that there are some monks that preach the teachings of a so-called Sage, one who is believed to have created the moon and performed miracles... I'm pretty sure they don't say anything about the daedra or the Princes, but we could be talking about the same person."

"Are there any monks in Konoha?" Conrad asked without much hope since he had yet to see any so far. Not that he had been able to fully explore the city yet.

"Unfortunately no, I don't think that religion is very widespread in Fire Country. More than that, this is a shinobi village, they aren't exactly eager to start preaching to the masses here. But there's someone in the village who would know."

"Who?" Conrad perked up. A lead was something he could work with.

"Jiraiya of the Sannin. I could ask if he can speak with you, but..."

"What? What's wrong with meeting me?" He should have known. The shinobi probably didn't want him to be seen around the village after the last few close calls.

"He was Minato's teacher," Inoichi said. That wasn't what Conrad had expected. Doubt crept into his mind.

"He was close to Minato?" he asked, his voice level. He hadn't had the chance to learn much about this brother, not nearly as much as he would've liked anyway.

"Oh, yes. Jounin sensei tend to have a special relationship with their genin. They train them, teach them, protect them and even later in life they still remain close to their students."

"So, this Jiraya—"

"Jiraiya, Conrad," the Yamanaka corrected.

"Right, right. So, this Jiraiya... was like a father to Minato?" he asked slowly.

"Very likely Minato grew up as an orphan, so—"

"Then why isn't he taking care of Naruto?" the Nord asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I... I don't—"

"Why haven't any of my brother's friends taken care of Naruto?" Conrad demanded, genuine anger leaking into his voice.

"We didn't know that Naruto was his son, I swear!"

"... whatever. I'll talk to Jiraiya. And the Hokage," he said, deflating a bit as he reigned himself in. The old monkey had to have always known the truth, and if this Jiraiya had been so close to Minato, there was no way he hadn't known. Conrad would be expressing his displeasure shortly.

"Yeah, probably a good idea. I think Hokage-sama should hear about the Princes too," Inoichi nodded, seeminging to not realize Conrad's plans. Maybe it was from the shock of being an idiot that jumped into daedric minds?

"Didn't your friend tell him already?"

"Oh, I'm sure Shikaku left a good report. But you should probably give one in person. Your language skills are getting better, after all."

The two of them stared at the moon for a few minutes, the only sounds being the crickets and Conrad drinking a sip every now and then. He wondered how the Akaviri would react when he told them that Nirn had two other moons already.

"How do you deal with it?" Inoichi asked, still staring at the moon.

"What do you mean?"

"How do you just… live, knowing that there are these Princes, these… entities that can influence our world without us having a say in it?" the Shinobi asked. The Nord was aware that while a single moon may have been very odd to him and his students, the revelation of its purpose had probably put into question everything Inoichi had known about the world.

After a few seconds of thinking, Conrad sheepishly raised his bottle.

"... I'll go get some more booze."

:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:

"Uncle?" someone called in the language he had been more or less forced to learn. He answered with an undignified grunt, trying to fall back to sleep.

"Come on Uncle, wake up." They kept talking, even shaking him, which made him roll over and burrow under the sheet. Why were they calling him uncle any—Oh, right.

Conrad tried to open his eyes and immediately regret it. He couldn't help but moan in pain as he wondered why the light was so bright.

"What's wrong with him? Is he sick?" Naruto asked someone Conrad couldn't see. He was too busy covering his eyes with his arm.

"Here, give him this," a voice he didn't know replied.

Conrad didn't get the chance to take a look at the newcomer before somebody thrust a glass against his lips. He almost choked and didn't have any choice but to swallow the liquid inside. Water with... something in it? He opened his eyes, fearing that someone had poisoned him but relaxed when he saw Naruto holding the empty glass.

"Are you alright, Uncle?" the boy asked with a worried face.

"He will be," the voice from before reassured. Conrad turned slightly to see a huge red-clad man with an impressive white mane for hair towering above him. "The headache should disappear in a few minutes."

He sat up on the mat he had been given for the night. "Hello, boy... Why did you wake me?"

"It's morning, you missed breakfast," Naruto explained.

"I did?" he groggily asked, realizing that he was feeling a little hungry. He turned to the tall man, studying him for a few seconds as he did the same to Conrad. "Jiraiya of the Sannin?"

"In the flesh," the man said with a tinge of a smile.

"Minato's teacher, yes?" Conrad queried, hauling himself to his feet and shaking his head to clear it.

Naruto turned towards the older man at that. "What?! You taught my dad?! I thought you were just a pervert that knew a few good jutsu!"

Jiraya scowled. "Brat, of course you wouldn't appreciate my genius!"

"Like when I caught you peeping at the baths?" Naruto asked with an unimpressed expression. Conrad wondered if he had understood that right.

"I was conducting important research and you know it!" Jiraiya harrumphed in response before continuing. "But yes, I was the one who taught Minato everything he knew."

"That's so cool… wait, does that mean that you knew Kakashi-sensei when he was my dad's student?"

"You know about that, too?" the tall shinobi wondered. "I wish he had told me, I would have brought pictures."

"Is there something to eat in the house?" Conrad interrupted the two of them as he stretched a bit.

"Sorry uncle, we already finished before Ero-Sennin arrived."

"Who?" he asked in confusion.

"Him," Naruto said, pointing at Jiraiya.

"I told you to stop calling me that," the man grumbled. Conrad decided to ask what that meant later. "If you want, I could accompany you somewhere you'll be able to eat, Harissen-san. As well as speak without raising too many questions."

Conrad knew an invitation when he saw one.

"Let me get ready first," he said as he massaged his temples. He had asked to talk with the man, sure, but not when he was nursing a hangover. At least the headache was indeed passing, he idly wondered what kind of potion that had been, but Akaviri didn't seem to have the same alchemy he knew.

"Can I come, too?" Naruto asked eagerly.

"Aren't you going to be late for your team meeting, kid?" Jiraiya asked with a smirk.

Naruto's eyes widened and he practically shot out of the room, calling to his uncle about seeing him later for dinner.

"So, about that food…" Conrad said after an awkward moment of silence between the two men.

"Don't worry, Harrisen-san, I know just the place," Jiraiya said.

:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:

Meat. Glorious, glorious, juicy meat with an odd but tasty bitter-sweet sauce and some spices that he wasn't able to identify all over it. There was not a single grain of rice in sight, thank Talos and Akatosh for that.

Not even in the form of booze. He didn't know the name for it yet, but he had been introduced to a sweet wine made with plums.

Mead was still better, of course.

He had been allowed only one glass though, even if his hangover was pretty much gone. How could these Akaviri be so surprised by alchemy if they were able to produce something that could kill a hangover better than any traditional remedy? It baffled him.

Maybe Jiraiya just wanted to be sure he was sober enough to talk with him after all the hassle he went through to bring him somewhere very few citizens passed by. Even if Conrad had pointed out that he had his disguise. The older man had just glanced at the cloak and funny hat he had borrowed from Inoichi and asked him to follow him.

"So," Conrad started, gulping down a bite. "I was told you know about the wizard."

"The wizard?" Jiraiya asked with a perplexed expression.

"Yes, the wizard," Conrad repeated, putting down his chopsticks. Damn things. He missed forks. "The one that made the moon?"

"Oh, you mean the Sage."

"Yes. What do you know about him?"

"Not much, I'm afraid," Jiraiya shrugged. "There are various legends, like the one about him creating the moon, and some documents that prove he existed. What we know for sure is that he preached his word throughout the lands."

"His word?" Conrad asked, this time it was his turn to be confused.

"Encouraging people to come together, struggling for peace, spirituality, that sort of thing. His followers did the same, obviously. Sadly, in the last few centuries, the Elemental Nations have been torn by many wars, so—"

"What about the moon? How did he create it?" he interrupted. While philosophy was a fascinating topic, he had more pressing matters to think of.

If Jiraiya was upset about being cut off, he didn't show it. Maybe he was trying to hide how weird it was to speak with someone that looked like Minato. "Nobody really knows."

"What do you mean? Didn't he leave... something? An explanation?" he questioned. What he wouldn't give for being able to say grimoire or spellbook in Akaviri.

"No, the whole story is part of a series of apocryphal legends—"

"Apowhat?"

"His stories were written by other people," Jiraiya clarified. "No one knows how he did it."

Conrad stared at Jiraiya for a few seconds, trying to process what he had just been told.

This ancient all-powerful wizard had sent a metaphysical middle finger to all the Daedric Princes at once, concealing a whole continent from their eyes and influence and who knows what else, then left no explanation about how he had accomplished it whatsoever in case something went wrong?

What an asshole.

Conrad let his shoulders sag as he groaned in disappointment. He tried to make a grab for the wine bottle, but Jiraiya snatched it away and then served himself a glass.

"You look upset," the shinobi observed before sipping the wine. Jerk.

"My brother is dead, my nephew was left on his own his whole life, I've been kept here against my will for months, and I don't know how to keep you bastards safe!" Conrad started to say slowly, gaining momentum and feeling more pissed off with every single word he said. "I have every right to look upset!"

Jiraiya looked a bit stunned for a moment, and the Nord took advantage of it. A small application of telekinesis and the bottle soared towards his hand. He quickly downed as much as he could before slamming the now significantly less full bottle onto the table.

A moment of silence followed as Jiraiya regarded him with a completely blank expression waiting for him to continue. "I understand that being a sensei is very important, almost like being part of the family… and for an orphan like Minato that would've been very important," he muttered, holding the bottle tight. "So, where in the name of the gods and fuck were you after he died?"

Jiraiya held his gaze in silence for a few moments before deeply sighing and looking down on the table. "I was wondering when you would bring that up," he said. Conrad couldn't tell whether the other man was ashamed or pained from seeing Minato's face accusing him him. "Inoichi had warned me that you were a very blunt person."

"Answer the question."

"If Sarutobi-sensei were here—that's the Hokage, in case you don't recall—"

"I know who the Hokage is," Conrad told him, narrowing his eyes. "Quit stalling."

"If he were here, he would give you many reasons," Jiraiya continued. "That I'd had duties to attend to. That I'd had to leave the village to handle our affairs across the land. That my presence would've revealed Naruto's parentage... and who knows what else he would come up with to justify it. But the truth, Harissen-san... the truth is that I am a coward."

Conrad felt his eyebrows shoot up in confusion. His grip on the wine lessened. "What?"

"Minato… your brother, wasn't just my student, but my apprentice as well. I had spent almost all of his life training him, seeing him surpass me and become a man I would've been proud to call…" Jiraiya's words died in his mouth, but he quickly got himself together. "I just knew that he had a brilliant future ahead of him. The village, his family… when he and his wife died, it was devastating."

The Nord waited a few seconds before gesturing for the man to continue.

"Not just to me or the people close to them, though. Konoha had lost many people that night. We were wounded. We were weak, our enemies were about to smell blood and try to take advantage of it. Sarutobi-sensei would be right to say that I'd had duties, but the truth is that I hid in them to forget my pain."

"Did it work?"

"No."

"That doesn't explain why Naruto was left alone."

Jiraiya stared in his glass for a moment before speaking. "I lied to myself… he was a newborn, surely I could spy on our enemies and defend our home while he was so little, right? I was always terrible with babies. When my teammates and I found your brother… The point is, I thought I could make it up to him later in his life."

"But that didn't happen."

"No, it didn't… two or three years old is still pretty young, after all. Or at least I'd thought so, and there was so much going on… we'd barely avoided a war back then," Jiraiya said sternly. "After that… after that it just got easier to find excuses to stay away."

"And now…"

"Now, I'm back. Because Naruto needed my help. For the exams and… for a few other things. Although, I have to confess that, had it not been for you, I would never have told him—"

"Are you about to say that you would have waited until he was older to tell him the truth about his parents?"

"... yes," Jiraiya admitted, having the decency to look ashamed. "If it helps, I'm sorry."

They sat in silence for a few minutes until Conrad sat up, the wine bottle all but forgotten.

"I'm not the one you should be making these excuses to," he said as he started walking away. "If you want to make up to the boy, fine. But don't you dare let him down again, or I will take him away from here."

Then he left, leaving Jiraiya to face the ghost of another blond-haired and blue-eyed man with a mask of bitter regret and frown as he ordered another drink.

:x:x:x:x:x:x:x:

The Nord wandered for a while through Konoha's back streets, fuming. The more he thought about what Jiraiya had believed could pass as valid excuses, the angrier he got.

Conrad wasn't sure what was worse. Jiraiya, for leaving the child of the man he'd dared to consider his son in all but name alone for nearly his whole life, the Hokage, for doing nothing about it, or Naruto's teacher, Kaka-whatever, for being pretty much the same. Then there was the fact that the entire village seemed to not like Naruto for some reason. He would've asked about it but he had decided that he'd had to leave before doing something he would regret.

And to let Jiraiya stew in his guilt. He deserved it.

He walked to calm down. At least once, he vented his pent-up rage and frustration on some of the metal containers the Akaviri used to store trash. Then yelled at whoever had protested from the windows around him. Just a little bit. Enough so that he wouldn't kick someone in the balls as soon as he saw them.

Then he found himself wondering where he could go, since he wasn't really used to the layout of the city yet. Which way was Inoichi's house, anyway? He could've asked one of the masked guards that were surely following him, but he decided to just pick a street and search for the first landmark instead. Maybe Minato's mountain-sized face would help him in that regard.

He ignored the occasional passersby as he wondered what he should do next. He felt like he didn't have the full picture, but at the same time he didn't like what he was already seeing. Maybe taking Naruto away with him wasn't such a bad idea, but he wasn't sure if he could pull it off without risking the magelings' lives. Besides, kidnapping the boy wouldn't leave a good impression. Probably.

As soon as he sighted Minato's sissy chin, along with those of three other people he didn't care for, he stopped to figure out which way he was supposed to go.

"Harissen-san?" a voice asked from behind him. Conrad turned, almost ready to explain to the masked guards that the trash had provoked him by simply existing, just to stop when he realized that it wasn't one of those mask-wearing Shinobi.

It was an old man wearing a simple robe. Half of his face was covered in bandages and he was missing an arm. He also seemed to have a lame leg, given the way he was putting most of his weight on his cane as he walked closer.

"My name is Shimura Danzo. I believe we should talk."