《I hate being wed in a fantasy world!》Volume 02 - Prologue
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Finally. We’re back in Esse! Behind walls which will protect us from the harm of the outside world.
Holding back my tears is hard. Finally, I feel safe. It has been so long…
Even Momokawa Kyou-san, the beautiful but composed girl who travels with me, looks delighted. Both of us had our share of trouble so far. Lizard people, a dragon, multiple life-endangering situations, and a duel to the death are more than enough to let you cherish the safety of city walls.
“Let’s go to the church, Kyou-san.”
“Yes.”
I should mention that both of us are usually cynical, selfish, and disrespectful, but after all the ordeals we had to survive, even we could be surrounded by a pink-colored aura of pure happiness. It may be only for a limited time, but seriously: I don’t care right now.
Kyou-san and I go to the church and meet up with the priest who specialized in breaking curses. “Ah, you were the one with the cursed ring. You slimmed down quite an amount.”
“Erm… yes.” Originally, only I was subjected to a cursed ring, which made me weak, unable to recover anything by myself and forced me to stay in the [Student]-class, which is my original form. Normally I’m a bit round, my currently selected [Scout]-class just slims me down. “Actually, the curse got worse.”
Even though the penalties disappeared, the curse spread to Kyou-san as well. She is wearing a nearly identical ring now. Both are simple copper rings with engravings. Mine has a lion and hers a lioness.
I explain roughly the circumstances to the so-called expert on curses. He silently nods to himself during my explanation and then concludes: “This is unusual, but I should be able to dispel both. Especially since I started the ritual with both of you, to be on the sure side.” Kyou-san and I had to go through a pilgrimage to the hot springs of Heißquellen and pray at every shrine on the way.
This pilgrimage was to collect the divine energy crucial to remove such a powerful curse. To start this whole collecting process, we had to pay a lot of money to the church into executing a particular ritual, which will now find its end.
“So let us begin…” The priest starts to chant a prayer and… “Strange. This is… odd.”
“What’s odd?” Kyou-san asks in a wary and suspecting way.
“I can’t explain why, but there is no divine power inside any of you at all.”
It can’t be! For what reason did we do all that crap? “We did keep the time limit, and we prayed at every shrine on the way! We even have the holy water of Heißquellen! How can this be!?” I’m about to hit him.
“I’m not sure… it seems it’s already used up. I can’t even sense traces of the collecting ritual I performed.” Are you serious? What kind of crappy ritual suddenly stops working without any reason!? “Well, we can just restart it.”
Anger and frustration are welling up. I have to return to Heißquellen, only a stone throw away from the ss’rak!? I can tell that I’m furious and show it through my stare.
Honestly, would you have kept your calm here? This last whole pilgrimage was a disaster, and now we have to do it again?
Yet there would be an icing. The priest smiles at us. “That’d be a donation of 300,000 Newgold.”
I don’t clearly remember what happened afterward, but I had to be removed by guards. Since the church is part of the castle complex, there are always some available here.
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Probably, I didn’t take that well the fact that they’re charging for the whole ritual again. I may have hurt some people in the process, but I’m innocent. They’re to blame!
I see, this is the reason why last time the 300,000 Newgold weren’t ‘paid,' but ‘donated.' So that there won’t be refunds, huh? This customer service sucks!
Kyou-san and I, a bit roughed up from my rampage, are sitting in the courtyard.
“Phew.”
“*sigh*”
Both of us sigh heavily and lifelessly. Even though there are only minor injuries for the victims of my outburst before, I should better not show my face at the church for a while. Not that we have the money needed to redo the pilgrimage in the first place. We barely got enough the last time and now we’re broke! And even if we had the necessary amount, I honestly doubt that one of us would have the will to repeat this whole journey.
“Ken, I will kill you one day.”
“It’s not my fault.”
Both of us have dead eyes.
“But you got me into it.”
“Sorry.”
I can’t even argue.
“What should we do?”
“…see the bright side?”
Actually, the curse is not all bad. Well, for me it is, but for Kyou-san it’s more of a blessing.
The reason is that whenever one of us kills a mob, we both get 50% of the total XP. Since Kyou-san lacks offensive power, this is an easy way to raise her level. She’s the perfect example of an XP-leech!
Both of us gain some secondary benefits from the curse, but there is one big downside: The curse forced us into a strange form of marriage. We basically get rewarded for being flirty, and it could be that the penalties of the original curse return if we’re not by each other's side.
Since we never separated since this form of ‘marriage’ happened, we don’t know the details.
Normally, it wouldn’t be so bad, but the real annoying thing about it are these:
You gain 1 WP. In prosperity as in adversity. You share the same worries, but as long as you stick together, both of you and your love for each other will solve all the problems.
Oh, so we get WP (Wedding Points) for worrying about the same things together… how great.
Yes, these pop-up messages are very annoying.
However, if we collect enough WP, we can buy some bonuses at the WP-store, which appeared on our status screens.
Currently, the curse gives us the following benefits: The ability to check each other status, a small boost to attributes while standing next to each other, the fact that we split gained XP, and finally a shared [Inventory].
“Kyou-san. We just have to collect money, and on the way, we can spend some WP to make our life easier. Like getting more XP out of mobs. Or being able to use each other's skills. There are a lot of interesting stuff there, so it’s not all bad.”
Uh, Kyou-san is looking at me as if I have licked her recorder. It’s a mix of shock and disgust.
Well, to collect WP we have to act flirty. There is a list of actions that can get us WP, but some have special conditions, and others are going way too far, like taking a bath together.
At the moment we grind some WP by doing minor stuff: Holding hands, lap-pillows, calling each other on a first name basis or nickname, me eating her home-cooking, and finally sleeping next to each other (without any sexual activities). Each day brings 6 WP, but that’s too few to actually gain one of the bonuses I mentioned in just two or three months.
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“Ken. Will you come into the castle or take a room in an inn?”
Now she completely ignores my words. Well, could be worse.
“I’m not sure. On one hand, we need to tell the people in the castle about Muaotef, on the other hand, I’m not too keen on returning there.”
After a few days in this world, I left the castle to find my own way. I didn’t trust anyone, not even the god who brought us here. Well, I still don’t.
Well, in the end, I think they’re better than Muaotef. He is a dragon who we met on our pilgrimage and I’ve never felt such fear before. He’s a menace, and I would do anything not to meet him again.
There is a city of his ss’rak servants—lizard people—most likely unknown to the kingdom of Feuerberg. It’s deep in the mountains, only a few days away from the capital Esse. We don’t know what he’s planning, only that it can’t be good.
“I guess… I will take a room after selling the stuff we collected. I don’t like to be dependent on the castle-folk. Also, since we try to sleep next to each other whenever possible, I think it’s better to avoid strange rumors. At least when those people know us.”
Since Kyou-san lived in the castle before, she’s well known there. I guess she still has most of her stuff there, so she will probably want to stay there.
“Do you know the inn already?”
“Yes. The Gilded Eagle. A cheap one in the west district.” This is the recommendation of my hunter-mentors.
“I will go there after I’m ready. We will talk about what to do then.”
Kyou-san plays with a strand of hair. I’m sure she wants to clean herself thoroughly. We had a long journey, so we’re not exactly presentable.
“I will sell our loot first, so we have our funds ready.”
“You won’t. Just go to the inn and take a bath. And wash your hair!”
Should I argue? No, let’s not. I’m too tired for that shit.
―○●○―
Traveling with a girl can be tricky.
Even though I am not particularly interested in Kyou-san, I somehow grew more conscious of her.
Additionally, there are moments in which my lust is stimulated, and that leads to me relieving this special kind of stress whenever I get a chance.
As there are only a few opportunities when traveling with Kyou-san, I used this moment of solitude as well.
Even though I try my best to not think of her while doing it, as she was the one who actually awoke these emotions, it is hard to replace her face with a game character’s.
I still try.
Now I take a bath, wash my hair with this world’s strange hair soap, and change my clothes. I take my time so I feel clean and relaxed for the first time in about two weeks.
I even clean the interstices of my glasses as good as possible. I don’t need to wear them as long I’m [Scout] because my senses are enhanced, but somehow I want to wash off everything that has happened in the last two weeks.
Only the irremovable ring on my left ring finger is left.
Married to Momokawa Kyou-san, huh?
The class president and one of the prettiest girls in my school. Popular as well. Though the fact that she fakes a nice personality while being nasty in real is a big minus. I, on the other hand, was just a gamer who couldn’t have cared less about her.
How things can change.
In the evening, Kyou-san shows up in my room. If I hadn’t relieved myself before, I definitely would react now, since she’s back to her best shape. Her hair is almost silky, her skin smooth and unblemished, her lips moist and shiny, even the dirt under her fingernails is removed.
Her clothes are clerical robes which enhance her curves in a way I can’t explain. She reminds me of some really sexy female white mage characters.
I totally forgot how pretty she actually was.
“…Ken, wait here a minute.” With this, she is gone again.
Well, let’s wait.
Five minutes pass and she returns with a bowl of water, scissors, a broom, dustpan, and a brush. “Sit on that chair. Your hair is a mess. I will cut it.” My hair is a bit long, but I can still see clearly. As you might suspect, I’m the type who go to the hairdresser whenever it becomes too impractical and not one day before. “This will give us some WP, too. So do as I say.”
“Phew…” The WP got me.
*Snip, snip*
I sit down on the chair, and while Kyou-san begins to comb and cut my hair, we talk about our next steps.
“First we have to talk to the king or chancellor about Muaotef, I would rather leave this to you alone, Kyou-san, but every detail we forget can prove fatal. Then it’s about raising money again, for these money-grubbing priests to redo the ritual.”
Unless its a scam, but since I don’t have anyone else to rely on, I just have to hope for the best. They kinda have a monopoly here and looking for another option will take time, getting there even more. Maybe the involuntary trip to the chasm royally fucked up the ritual? I don't know.
I lack the necessary knowledge to understand the whole process. So I have to rely on an expert for now, even though it might be just a way to get money… But seriously, if they scam people like that on a regular basis, they shouldn't be able to retain their status, right? The people from the church seem to trust his expertise, and because there is magic in this world, even other people like the wizards of this kingdom will know whether he’s a quack or a pro… right!?
...
Well, if they mess up a second time, I can still look for another way to get this curse removed.
“Redoing the ritual?” Kyou-san sighs. “We don’t have a choice, do we? I don’t want to.”
“Me neither.” This thought is depressing, we’re both emotionally scarred from the last pilgrimage. “But maybe we’ll get a reward for our information. By the way, why didn’t you want me to sell our stuff? Rockinger shells and such aren’t really valuable enough to keep.”
“I want to try something later.”
*snip*
“What?”
“You’ll see. Don’t move your head.”
“Aren’t you cutting too much?” I can see whole hair bundles falling.
“You will thank me later.”
Somehow I have the feeling that Kyou-san is having fun. Even though she actually doesn’t give me many emotions to work with.
I should be prepared to shave all hair afterward as she might just bust it.
“Done. Look at the mirror.”
I take a look, expecting the worst.
But actually… It was really short but not much else to say. She cut it cleanly, and I couldn’t see any skin. “It’s… short.”
“I think it looks good. Less sloppy than before at least.”
You gain 3 WP. Having your wife cut your hair is a symbol of trust in her skills, and it gives her the opportunity to shape you to her liking a bit.
These WP are cheap. Though I feel the urge to run my fingers through my hair all the time. This hairstyle is so unfamiliar. Also kinda cold.
I help Kyou-san sweep up my hair. Farewell, hair, but this is as far as we go together.
“Then we should head to the castle now!”
“It’s already evening. Let us sleep.”
“…”
Now that Kyou-san and I are cleaned up, sleeping in one bed like before seems much less… casual. But in the end, there is no logical reason to decline. Only my lust.
“Ken, leave the room.”
“Why?”
“I want to change into my pajama.”
Wait, wait, wait. We might have slept in the same bedding sometimes, but so far we were fully dressed. Bringing a pajama in now is unfair!
“Why a pajama?!”
“Because I’m sick of sleeping in my clothes and I don’t want to sleep in a nightdress. Even the pajama is just a resewed robe.”
“Then I want to sleep in my underwear!” I want to sleep comfortably, too!
“Rejected! Clothes or maybe pajama, as long it covers up most.”
Ah, this girl is so irritating!
Character-design Katsuragi Kenta

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