《Handyman》Chapter 2: Higher Order
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“There, there, now do you feel any better? Try to examine your...fleshy parts…you should find yourself more…..detached.” The voice sounded more amused than Talo felt comfortable with.
Get a grip Talo. You’re suffering brain damage. AH! Think in the first person. I didn’t just walk towards the light, I ate it! Oh, my body is burning. Wait! My body is burning! Am I actually combusting? I can’t sense any flames. Why does this pain not bother me?
“Forgive me for interrupting, but again you are not hallucinating. I fear I am failing to convey my intentions. Language is not a limitation I normally burden myself with, but I didn’t want to overwhelm you. Calm yourself for a bit.”
Calm myself? I’m perfectly…ooooo. An overwhelming peace fell over Talo. Then he knew. Not intellectually, but from a pure innate feeling radiating from his gut. He was conversing with a being on another plane of existence. A being that for some reason deemed it worthy to talk to him. Talo was insignificant, an ant, and yet for some reason this being was struggling to convey information to him. Having information implanted directly into him caused Talo’s ego to crumble. Then came the fear.
“Peace, Talo. If I wanted to harm you, I would have just erased you. Most higher order beings aren’t as violent, petty, or vengeful as you humans.”
“Wh..who are you?” stammered Talo.
“You probably don’t want me to answer that. Not directly anyway. Considering the panic induced just by becoming aware of my existence, I think epilepsy is the best possible outcome if I imbue you with my name.” While he didn’t “hear” it, Talo definitely felt as though the voice was sighing. “You don’t really need my name anyway. That’s one of the curses of language, a pathological need to name things. I exist, you know it, and I don’t think much else will have a bearing on our conversation.”
Damn. I’m screwed. I spent my whole life making fun of religious people, and I’m talking to a God.
“Well, if it makes you feel better, I laugh at religious mortals all the time. But back to my request, please try to be aware of yourself. It’s difficult to move from a complete understanding to a limited one. It’s why some deities dabble in taking on corporal forms. Tell me, what do you sense is going on?” inquired the voice.
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“Well… my body seems to be burning, but I can’t see any flames. Also, I seem to be in intense pain, or rather, my body is? I don’t seem to care, or it doesn’t appear to register as a concern that my nerves are firing?” Talo felt completely lost. Nothing made sense. How can I be so sure this is all real?
“Don’t get distracted. So it feels similar to burning? If you move your arms over your skin do you feel heat?” Right, I can move. Gravity seems to be gone again. Let’s see, heat… not even body temperature. It feels cold…. Am I dead?
“That all really depends on your society’s view on death. Your flesh isn’t actually here, but the rest of you is, which is why I find you so curious. You’re definitely a normal trichotomous human, but how you shed your body from the rest of your being is most peculiar.”
“Trichotomous?”
“Of three parts--body, spirit, and soul are the normal divisions. It’s one of the more useful ways to classify things. Monochotomous beings are only of one substance, like rocks, water, or banshees. Dichotomous beings can merge two substances like rabbits, psychopaths, or djinn.”
“Bbb...bbbanshees? Djinn?” What have I gotten myself into?
“Don’t change the subject. I myself am pentechotomous, but that’s not really important now. Do you know what is?” The voice carried an odd mix of mischief and sympathy.
“What was in the pill?” Talo was an emotional roller coaster. Pain, panic, fear, and worry pulled against an odd and foreign peace. How am I peaceful?
“Ha! The answers are twisted together. That was a bit of my divine essence. Your “gut feeling” is actually my power in your physical gut. It’s one of the easier ways to conduct energy through mammals. My essence is forcing you into a tetrachotomous being. What I want to know is why you feel the burning sensation? Is it because you are turning into a tetrachotomous being, or is that a lingering side effect of throwing your soul and spirit out of your body?”
“Tetra? Am...am I becoming divine?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, your soul could never handle that. Well, not in that state anyway…even if the image is the same…no matter. You are joining with...energy. Mana is perhaps a better word? The residue of the divine matter can leave itself as lower forms, and mana seems to be incorporating into you.”
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“Can I have my body back?”
“Ding. Ding. That’s the important question. Your missing body. The only thing preventing your existence from collapsing is my grace. We could try to send you back, but I’m going to warn you, your body hasn’t weathered well during your visit.”
“What! What happened to my body?” Damn Vic. I will make him pay.
“There you go with that bad vengeance habit humans have. Let it go. Let’s see…the chart next to your flesh bag says ‘Persistent Vegetative State.’ What a lovely label; pity your flesh won’t actually provide vegetables.”
I’m in a coma? Wait, persistent? That means I’ve been here for at least three months!
“Closer to 18 months. I’m actually doing my best to match the time flow. It’s a bit like trying to hold a gallon of water in your hands, some of it is going to be spilled. Again, if it makes you feel better, they’re planning to keep it alive during some sort of legal battle.”
My body is evidence? Is Carli fighting for me?
“We’re getting side tracked again. I have a deal to propose. Remember how you had to eat the pill, I didn’t force it down your throat? There are…difficulties for us to directly act on trichotomies and above. But I can certainly sweeten one option to help you choose your path. I want your body. I want to study it, but I have to have your expressed permission before I can subsume it into my realm.”
“Wait, are you saying you want to dissect me?”
“Not you per se, but your body. Reconstruct some of it, maybe grow a few copies of your brain to study, that kind of thing. You don’t really want to go back anyway. You would be stuck in a comatose body experiencing constant mana strain, because your world doesn’t have any.”
“So how is this a deal?”
“I’m feeling generous. In exchange for your current body, I’ll build you a new one and send you to a realm that can support tetrachotomies.”
“What’s the catch?”
“No catch…side effects maybe, but no catch.”
“Side effects? What side effects?”
“Who’s to say? There might be effects when I mess with...Ehm...I mean study, your current body. I can’t guarantee that I can sever the connection.”
“That seems like a major effect…. I want some things out of this.”
“Ooooo... bargaining with mortals is so much fun. The djinn turn it into an Olympic sport every 4,000 years. OK, lay it on me, what do you want?”
“I want to remember everything, no faulty neurons or brain damage. I want to be powerful, rich, and, uhhh... well endowed. And male, wait, a human male. No funny business like turning me into a female wombat.”
“Uhhhh, so banal. And boring. Anything else?”
“Give me all the knowledge of earth and muscle memory of all the best fighting styles? Oh, wait, and if I have mana, are there spells? I want to know all the spells.”
“Someone got really greedy, really fast. And NO to any extra knowledge. I can affect the circumstances around you, but you must experience things for yourself. Anything else? It’s already been two years, and I want your body now!”
“I’d like it to be in a relatively peaceful world where I can use my knowledge to help others... oh and for it to be warm. Not infernal deserts, just pleasantly warm.”
“Done. Deal?”
“Deal!” Talo exclaimed. This was exciting. A fresh start. With power and comfort. Without the trials of his actual childhood.
Darkness. Complete instantaneous darkness swallowed Talo. Then, again, pain.
Ow, ow, ow, damn my limbs hurt. Wait I can’t see. I can’t move—ow, ow, ow. No, it can’t be. It’s warm but—
“Push dear! He’s almost here!”
Son of a bitch, I’m being born.
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