《The Gate of Shadows》Chapter 22: The past… And the dread…
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When I came to, I found myself in a free fall, with Melody by my side. We fell through a chain of memories that threatened to engulf us if I did not control them. I had to organize my thoughts and focus, but the whispers from before made my mind unstable.
Memories were harder to recall than I thought they would be. Melody held onto my hand for dear life while I tried to aim at a place that would fit. Drawing my free hand forward, I pictured the perfect place to do research. After all, this was all for an investigation.
Perhaps if I told myself that, I would come out unshaken by the things I would relive. Before we knew it, we were on solid ground, bookshelves erupted from the ground surrounding us. Unable to contain herself, Melody scoured her surroundings, not quite believing where we were.
Or better yet, not knowing where or when we were. She jumped into this world, not knowing a thing about it. However, she did not let go of my hand for a second.
"Where are we?" Melody questioned.
I glanced around at our environment. It had become a library full of books that contained all the memories I had lived through. I guess my subconscious chose a place I was familiar with once I could focus enough.
Other than the room, that was my primary cage. The library was where I spent most of my time.
"A library full of memories," I answered.
"But why are we here?" she asked, confused by her surroundings.
The black wolf could not understand what we were doing. But soon enough, she...
"Because I need to know what Stella knew about your curse and Fenris," I replied.
My words caused her to tug on my hand, forcing me to face her.
"Stella, as in the monster that did this to you?!?" she growled loudly.
I could see how she felt, but it was a useless emotion in this matter.
"Yes," I answered, burying my emotions deep down within me.
This was not the time to let them get the best of me. Especially because of how unstable the whole spell seemed to be. I could see glitches around us in the form of fractures. Any little thing could go wrong.
"You can’t do this. It’ll only hurt you." Melody worried about me, but there was no use.
I would not back down from this. The only path was forward.
"It doesn’t matter. I relieve most of these horrors every night, anyway." I assured her I would be fine, trying to lead her into the library.
But she was almost like an unmovable boulder.
Lycans...
My words made her desire to want to convince me otherwise stronger.
"Lilith!" she called out to me loudly, trying to reach me.
But there was nothing to grab hold of. My resolve was unmovable.
"Everything that you’ll see already happened. There’s no point in feeling anything over it." I sighed, not wanting to waste any more time.
The spell was unstable, making it, so I had no way of knowing when it would collapse. If I did not find what I wanted before it did, then everything would have been for nothing.
"Lilith, that isn’t right!" Melody tried to make me understand her view, but it was useless.
I already made my mind up, and to save her and Fenris. This was something I had to do. Nothing would change that. Not even if she cried.
"If I want to free you, there’s no other option. Your curse isn’t an easy fix. You’ve had it since before you were born. It was probably your parent's burden that was placed on you. I find it rather unfair for you to have to live with their mistakes." I informed her, not knowing the origin of her curse.
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No... I refused to acknowledge that it was older than her or her parents. If it was, then...
"Lilith..." Melody called out to me.
But this time, I did not feel like entertaining her any further.
"Let’s go. The spell only works for a couple of hours, and we have a lot to cover." I shut her worries down, yanking her along into the library.
I did not know where I would find my answers, but I had relatively good guesses on where to begin. I had to avoid any memories that would make me unstable. It would put Melody's entire being at risk. I could consume her if I were not careful. She should have stayed outside.
Picking the first book out of the pile, it transported us to a time before my mother was dead. I was playing on the floor while my mother hummed a song, knitting a scarf. This would be the first time I ever took a glimpse at Stella's grimoire, but it would also be the day that would change my fate forever.
We were passengers, only to watch everything that was about to unfold.
"Is that your mother?" Melody asked, glancing towards the woman, who rocked in her chair.
A younger me drew butterflies on the wooden floor.
"Yes..." I whispered, feeling bittersweet.
I had forgotten her face, but there she was in her full splendor. I did not reflect her beautifully curvy golden hair and blue eyes on me at all. Most of my features came from my father. My brown hair and eyes all came from him.
"She’s beautiful..." Melody commented, in awe of my mother.
The female Lycan's grip on my hand grew tighter when sounds erupted from the outside.
"Yes, she was. I had... forgotten her almost completely." I simpered.
I knew full well what was coming next. Eruptions of screaming came from the halls, causing my mother to yell at me, scooping me up in her arms. Before we knew it, the door slammed open, revealing a Cerberus officer coming to inspect the room.
"Lilith... is this when..." Melody gasped, unable to finish her sentence.
Unlike her, I silently watched the events unfold. The officer pushed my mother, who was holding me in her arms, aside, causing her to fall onto the floor. I scraped my head with a desk that was near to where we fell. The moment my mother saw the blood flow down my head, her fragile sanity was lost.
Setting me down next to her, she grabbed a pair of scissors that were on the table. A second later, she stabbed the human officer in the throat when he searched under the bed, killing him instantly. Covered in blood, she turned to me, smiling, promising to protect me.
Kissing me on my head, she ran out of the room, killing everyone she could in her path. All I could do was stand up, trying to chase after her. The moment I stepped out of the room; I saw her caught by a Lycan before he crushed her throat.
I could feel Melody's hand tremble with rage, trying her best to not lose it.
"Horrid! How could they do that to an unstable woman, who only had a scissor as a weapon?" her voice quivered.
I glanced behind us to see Stella standing there, shocked. Tears ran down her cheeks before screaming at the top of her lungs. Her screech echoed throughout the hall, alerting every sister about what had happened. Chaos broke, but it was quickly quelled by the Lycans.
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When everything was set and done, she dragged me out of the room I had hidden after I witnessed my mother die.
“You pathetic coward! This is all your fault!” the elderly woman screeched.
Dragging me by my hair, she threw me against a wall before tossing her grimoire at my face, screaming that I had to avenge my mother. After that, she left me alone in the basement, with the order of having to learn her grimoire from memory. This was probably the first time she tried to fill me full of hate, just like she was.
Taking a few steps towards my younger self, who sobbed loudly, seemed surreal. However, I tried to bury any emotion I might have felt. Instead, I focused on the goal which was to gather information. The young me, who could barely see through the tears, slowly went from page to page. I cast a spell to copy into reality everything I saw that was in the book.
Luckily, this spell was a minor one that could be cast, even in the dream realm that we found ourselves in. After we had fallen asleep, Shade brought an empty notebook for the spell to take hold of. Thankfully, my wound was still bleeding in our reality, too.
The perfect sacrifice for witchcraft. Once I was done, I headed for the door, only for Melody to stop me from continuing.
"We can’t leave her like this." Melody seemed conflicted by everything she was seeing.
Her nature was so pure. Probably everything she was about to see would change her. It would possibly would change how she saw me, too. I sighed, shaking my head.
"This already happened. You can’t change it no matter how much you wish it so." I reminded, pulling her along unwillingly.
"But..." her expression seemed bitter.
We left behind when we exited the memory to find ourselves back in the library. She seemed to grow quiet with each memory we went into, though. The violence I experienced was something that she could never fathom. It was chipping at her core.
However, she never let go of my hand, no matter how ugly or how tough it got. After each memory, the book I was creating got lengthier. This was because I copied anything that might be of use once we left this realm. Eventually, we found the one when Stella had tried to curse Fenris.
That day I escaped from the room they usually kept me in and had gotten inside of Stella's office. It was almost as if the magic that was being cast there drew me towards it. The moment I heard voices coming towards the room I found myself in, I hid behind the bookshelves. I tried my best to peek through them. To my surprise, I saw Stella and a few sisters with a child come into the room.
Stella dragged the terrified girl up towards where the cauldron was, forcing her to stand there. The pot was boiling with some ingredients they placed in them. The vapors that rose from it were purple, with a dark shadow looming over them.
"Are you sure this will work?" One sister asked Stella, who picked up a knife from the side, going towards the terrified girl.
She was one of the many orphans from our coven.
"It has worked before, and it will now. A precious daughter for a beloved son." Stella snarled, slicing the poor girl's throat.
Upon seeing that, Melody could not help but jolt forward. I could barely hold her back.
"She’s long dead," I whispered when the black Lycan glanced at me, bewildered at how little of a reaction I had to this.
Unlike the present me, younger me soiled herself, seeing what was unfolding. Tears beamed down my young cheeks, trembling where I hid. I tried my best to not be spotted by the witches when they chanted a spell. One that would be burned into my present self's memory.
"Spiritibus et rogamus te Queruntur filii eorum separatione animae Facite illos impurum genus! Quicumque volebat quemquam odio! Ut malediceret regi rogamus vos spiritum, ut mihi in iram meam et sceleratas sumere poenas!" They chanted, causing the room to glow.
Stella screamed Fenris's name before dumping the child's body into the pot. This was all a year before I met him. If only I would have remembered... Of course, I was too focused on surviving this than listening to what they were saying.
Yet some of it stayed within my subconscious. It must have been why I felt familiar with it. Everything shook when the witches continued to chant the spell.
"Spirits, I beseech you... Curse their children and separate their souls... Make them impure... Hated by everyone and wanted by none. I beseech you cursed spirit, take my rage, and exact my vengeance." I translated, triggering Melody to glance towards me once again.
Stella continued to scream my beloved wolf's name into the night. One that meant nothing to my younger self. For a moment, the spell seemed to work, only for the cauldron to shine red soon after, fizzling out.
"No!!!" Stella screamed when the spell suddenly came to a halt.
Rage consumed her, causing her to tip over the pot, spilling the contents onto the ground below. Before loudly commanding the sisters to clean it up. They swiftly exited the room to gather cleaning supplies.
The head sister approached the angry headmistress. For a moment, her eyes met my younger self, who had peeked out, hoping to find a way out. Her eyes widened, but chose to not expose me. Instead, she tried to calm Stella, but it was no use. She was rabid with anger.
"This cursed child will be the end of us!" Stella screamed, throwing things around the room.
My younger self tried to stay hidden, even though I had already been seen. Sadly, there was no way to get out of the room with them there.
"I don’t understand what went wrong." The head sister tried to create chatter to quell Stella's rage, but it was at a tipping point.
There was no going back for her anymore.
"The red moon's power is too strong! That was what happened! This means I must destroy the boy with other means!" Stella declared.
The wary sister tried to sway her towards a way that would not create a war. Not that the curse that they had tried to cast would not have made one in the first place. But from the way Stella was speaking. It sounded like she was ready to doom the entire world along with Fenris.
"It’s just a child. Maybe we can try to find another way to remove his power." She tried to sway Stella, but it was of little use.
Once her mind was made up, there was no going back. I guess that was a trait that was inherited by me.
"No! We already tried that! And it failed!” Stella snarled, slapping her hands on the table.
“Now... that child must suffer just like mine did!" she was sneering with anger.
I had never seen her that enraged before. Not even when the ritual was almost caught.
"I understand, mistress, but what do you presume we do? If the red moon is really what’s powering the boy, our magic is useless. I mean, even mistress Edna's spell failed." The head sister pointed out for Stella swiftly to announce her second plan.]
Edna? Who the fuck…?
"Then we must accomplish what our predecessor, Lilith, set out to do," Stella added, only for the head sister to seem utterly surprised by her announcement.
"That’s impossible. She failed. What hopes do we have?" the sister seemed reluctant to continue.
After all, it had failed all those years ago, when Lilith had set to do it alone. There would be little to no way of doing it in their present time. There were too many eyes on witches.
"No... It isn’t. Sister Loren, I have your devotion, don't I?" Stella asked, sitting down on her chair.
"Yes. Of course, mistress. You’re my one and only." Loren replied, bowing her head to show respect towards her superior.
"Then... I’ll share with you something that shall remain a secret from the rest of the coven. That child will work for the spell. You see, she’s special. I had hoped to raise her as a weapon, but the child has the hard habit of my..." Stella trailed off, not wanting to finish that sentence, slamming her hand onto the table in discontent.
"You want to sacrifice your gran--" the head sister tried to clarify, not quite following along.
"Don’t call her that! She’s nothing but a tool to be used!" Stella shouted, triggering Loren to flinch at the tone she used.
It was full of malice. Stella's heart was long gone.
"... I see. So, this is when the choice was made. How stupid of a child I was to not remember when I met Fenris. It’s unbelievable witnessing the whole thing that should have been the biggest red flag. Yet I remained ignorant enough to not know." I whispered, annoyed at what unfolded.
Sadly, it left more unanswered questions than what I had come with. I was special.
In what sense, though? What did Stella mean by that? Edna... Who the fuck was that?
Unable to come up with the answers, the scene continued to play out in front of me. Melody seemed angry, too. If it were real, she would have probably tried to bite their necks off. Probably would have been successful. Well, if she was not a runt.
"But... Iris would--" Loren tried to sway my grandmother from doing this, but there was no use.
All that was left in Stella's heart was hatred. Nothing else mattered.
"Don’t call that name!" Stella yelled.
Loren flinched, scared she might have thrown something her way.
"Apologies," she tried to remain submissive.
Stella shook her head, waving at her to go.
"Find that child for me. Oh, and send a crow to Edna. Tell her that the wolfsbane she saved might be necessary for later use after all." Stella ordered Loren with a wicked smile on her lips.
Wolfbane?! This was where I… Fuck!
She was already planning futures ahead of time, unannounced to everyone. This woman was a danger to everyone I knew in more ways than one.
"Yes, I’ll bring her to you at once, mistress," Loren affirmed, glancing towards where I was before leaving the room.
Stella sat there, pondering her next move. I stepped into the room followed by Melody, walking over towards where she was. Her hands covered her face. The younger me cowered in fear, unable to move from where she was.
The boiled body in the room did not help either. Though the current me had seen worse. Something like that would not stop me.
"Wolfsbane... That was you too? You crazy bitch..." I could not help but laugh a bit at my Grandmother's cleverness.
Ryker informed me it was not wolfsbane, but what if they had modified it? This was rather annoying. Melody gripped my hand tightly, worried about my state of mind.
"... Anything to avenge my daughter," Stella muttered, almost as if she were answering back at me.
It was utterly amusing. Unwittingly, my grandmother was doing what she first set out to do. Fill me with hatred, just not towards who she wanted. Even if I did not want to become her. It was in my nature.
Could I fight what this world meant for me to be? I wondered if it was possible...
"You did nothing but hurt your daughter from the grave!" Melody yelled at Stella.
I shook my head. Instead of answering back, Stella stood up from her chair and went outside to look for the missing sisters. They were supposed to clean the mess she made. That was when I took the chance to run, only to be caught by Loren soon after. She never told Stella I was in there, then again.
A child would not have been able to understand what was going on. But it made me wonder if she had some guilt running through her. When we exited that memory, Melody stopped in her tracks, preventing me from going in further.
"I think this is enough. We need to stop here." Melody growled, not wanting to move forward.
She was set on stopping me from going in further into the despair that made up my memories.
"No... I must make copies of every spell Stella made me read. There may be more information within them." I tried to explain to her.
I turned around to pick a book, only for her to pull me away.
"No! You already got what you wanted. You needed to know what she knew about Fenris. You also got to see what spell it was that might have been cast on me! This is enough! You told me to be your anchor, so that’s what I’m being. Any further and I feel like it’ll change you!" She pointed out firmly.
Even though I tried to hide it, she noticed the change in my demeanor.
Shit...
She really should have stayed outside. I shook my head in disbelief. This was why I wanted to do this alone. She could barely handle what I had seen throughout my life when I was a child.
"Melody... I’m sorry, but I must carry on. With or without you." I tried to sway her, only for her to have none of it.
This is where she stood her ground.
"No!" she yelled, pulling me towards her, causing us to stumble onto a bookshelf.
It caused a book to fall from it. Instinctively, Melody went for it, wanting to place it back where it had been, only for me to realize what it was before screaming at her not to touch it. But it was too late.
The moment her skin met with the book, it transported us into the worst nightmare I ever had. Back to that crimson night… One surrounded by corpses. This was not a memory, but the dreaded dream I experienced not too long ago.
"What the fuck is this?" Melody cursed upon seeing what surrounded us.
I hyperventilated, not able to process fast enough. This could not have been happening. The one thing I wanted to avoid was now staring right at me. And the only way out of it was forward, too. Or... If I...
"We need to get out of here... Now!" I yelled, hearing the roar of monsters around us.
This was one thing I did not want to repeat. It was way more vivid than the nightmare I had before. More realistic, more detailed. My other self was nowhere to be found, either. The only exit was forward, but I knew what awaited me if I went towards it.
My legs refused to move. It was not long before I lost to my emotions, almost forgetting the fact that this was not real. The one thing I could not handle was in front of me, and it placed Melody in real danger. Noticing my dilemma, Melody grabbed hold of both my hands.
"I don’t know what this is... But I’m here with you. We’ll get through this together." She tried to calm me while my tears rolled down my face, just like hers were.
She was as terrified as I was, especially since she did not know where or what we were in. Even so, she was trying to comfort me instead of panicking. Part of me felt strengthened by her will to worry for another before herself. Yet I... knew I could not handle what came at the end of this dream. It was something that she could not support me through, either.
Even though we were not moving, the dream warped our surroundings, yanking us towards the end.
The moment I saw that thing holding Fenris's neck in that thing's grip, I froze. My mind went blank when Melody screamed. A second later, my beloved wolf's head came off. Unable to handle what was happening, I tried to focus on her. She was the only thing that mattered in the time we were in.
Jerking my hand away from her, I whispered a spell that released us from where we were. It was almost as if it was an escape word from the nightmare of my memories. But it was only for her. Something held me back. Before I knew it, I had lost my anchor.
Melody disappeared, leaving me alone to stare at the beast that came towards me. I crouched down onto the floor, picking up Fenris's head from the ground. Before I knew it, I wept, unable to control myself any longer. The entire world shook when someone distantly called my name.
Without realizing it, the monster crouched down, reaching for me. The world shattered into a billion pieces, leaving it and me in a white space where I heard it say something to me.
"My bride..."
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