《The Joy of Evolution》It's Not Cannibalism If I'm Not Human - Ch. 44
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‘Maistear, I found new humans. They are just staring at me and haven’t attacked. What should I do?’ Kiwi sends a mental message to Joy, however, Cake responded instead.
‘Meister is currently unresponsive due to the mutation nap, but Meister is very wary of these humans. I think you should restrain them until Meister awakes and makes a decision on their pathetic lives.’
‘How should I restrain them? Cut off their limbs?’
‘I am unsure of the human's strange anatomy, but I think we better not put their fleshy bodies to the test without Meister’s approval.’
Kiwi eyes raced along two drunk humans in front of her and she made a light but quick twitch to pick up a small zombie rat that squirmed next to her. One of the two men continued staring while the other jumped a little.
“Hey, Bob let’s go,” Billy whispered to Bob.
“Hey! You! Green Girl! Have you seen any pipes that look to be clogged with anything, I know you might be partying down here but, it’s important you tell me!”
Kiwi couldn’t understand either of them and ignored their unknown rambling as she thought about a way to restrain them.
Kiwi paused for a quick moment before she decided on the most pleasing way to deliver a human with limbs attached to her Maistear, dragging them on the ground.
Kiwi walked closer to the men, Billy tried walking back and fell on his butt out of fear as he saw Kiwi’s arms covered in a thick mucus of blood and guts. Including the extremely realistic prosthetic sharpened forelimbs and abdomen with sleek and deadly edges covered in a similar coating of blood, before she sped up and quickly covered the ground to Bob, using Scythe Dash.
“That looks like it took some time, lady? I’m impressed…” Bob tried to talk as his head exploded in a burst of blood and brain tissue as Kiwi tried to grab it.
Kiwi was dumbfounded as the man’s body in front of her fell over, spraying blood from the stub of their neck. Her only experience with humans being Gothalyn, who would have needed Kiwi to try her hardest just to incapacitate her, so she did the same thing expecting the man to be able to dodge or take at least one hit from her. Kiwi was not expecting to have her hand blow straight through the man's skull.
She will punish herself later for this by pretending to sleep and apologizing to Maistear, however, the other man had begun to run away. So, Kiwi dashes toward him as well, however, this time out of worry of this human also being overly weak, deciding not to be too aggressive.
“What the hell was that! Help! Help! There is a monster down here! Someone help me!” Billy screamed as Kiwi scampered behind him and weakly grabbed him by the wrist as gently as a mantis monster capable of busting heads can.
“Let go! Let go of me! Don’t eat me!”
Kiwi ignored the man's strange rambling even as he was punching her carapace, which amounted to nothing, Kiwi didn’t even think she was being attacked as how can something that does zero damage to her status be considered an attack. Kiwi collected the body of the man she killed along with the rowdy man she was dragging along by the arm.
“No! No! Bob! This is a nightmare! You aren’t real! You don’t exist! I’m hallucinating!” Billy wept as he was dragged along through the sewers.
Kiwi began to question why all humans looked similar, however, their combat abilities varied greatly. She knew that not all people might not be as strong as Gothalyn, however, they had to be close for Maistear to worry so much about them...right?
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Kiwi felt guilt and regret about killing the man, not out of any human emotion but because she failed her Maistear, the human never attacked her yet she killed him, even if it was an accident. She would have to tell Maistear about her failure.
‘Kiwi, have you captured them,’ Cake asked, out of concern.
‘Yes, but I accidentally killed one of them by misjudging their strength, which is no excuse, I will be sternly punishing myself by pretending to sleep.’
‘You misjudged their strength? What do you mean?’ Cake questioned, mentally.
‘Humans? Not? Strong? But? Lady? Strong?’ Cinnamon replied.
‘I do not understand either, I had assumed that since all humans look similar they must all be of similar strength, but I have found that is not the case and humans strength varies even if it does not physically show as on monsters, I will report this finding to Maistear,’ Kiwi replied back.
‘Meister will not be happy that one of them died,’ Cake said.
‘I know. I will do everything I can to make up for my mistake,’ Kiwi responded.
“Someone save me! Help! Help!” Billy screamed as he was dragged by the wrist through the sewers, lucky enough that his mask was still attached to his face to keep out the stench of the hundreds of dead rats they passed.
....
However, no one answered his call for help.
Well, except Kiwi, who stuffed an undead rat into her face as well into the man's mouth. Kiwi knew that he was scared, so Kiwi decided to share some of her food with him to calm him down and show that she does not plan on killing him.
It clearly worked as the man instantly upon the rat touching his tongue, passed out due to the aborhent taste.
Kiwi smiled as the man quieted down, and went to sleep. She could deeply relate with this man’s ability to sleep in such a situation.
====
Kiwi walked for a few minutes with the two bodies in hand. Eventually, she came face to face with Cake, guarding a specific tunnel blocking out the tunnel with her body.
‘Hello, Kiwi. Are these the humans you found,’ Cake asked using thought communication.
‘Yes, this one was quite loud, but after I gave him some food he calmed down,’ Kiwi mentally told Cake.
‘Is that so? Meister is this way. Make sure to apologize to Meister once they wake up.’ Cake said as she guided Kiwi toward
‘I know,’ Kiwi replied, as she dragged the two limp bodies toward Joy.
====
3 minutes later:
‘I’m back! How long was I out? What happened to the rat? It felt a little longer than usual...’ I ask before I spot the two bodies in front of me, one clearly missing a good portion of the head, while the other seems to be asleep.
‘You were mutating for 8 minutes and 35 seconds, Meister, and I had to kill the rat because you lost control over it, Meister.’ Cake responds.
‘...Okay, what about those…’
...juicy, appetizing, delicious...
‘...humans,’
‘Maistear, I apologize. While you were mutating two humans found me, I know your orders were to avoid killing them unless they attacked first, however upon trying to subdue them. I misjudged their strength and killed one, I was more gentle with the other and carried them to you,’ Kiwi said, apologetically as she laid on the floor pretending to sleep.
“Kghhh! Kghhh!”
As Kiwi was explaining the situation to me, the unconscious man began to wake up.
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‘Kiwi, why is there a rat in his mouth?’
‘He seemed distraught, so I tried to feed one of the rats to make him realize that I do not plan to kill him. It worked and he started sleeping right after I fed it to him,’ Kiwi responded to my question.
…oh
‘Kiwi, humans can’t eat that, you probably scared him so much that he fainted,’
‘Fainted? Is that like sleeping?!’ Kiwi asks, perking up from her somber attitude at the mention of something like sleep.
‘When a human takes too much damage either psychologically or physically, they will fall asleep for a little while,’
‘That seems like a terrible mutation, if a human takes damage wouldn’t they want to get to a safe place not fall asleep,’ Cake replies.
‘I wish I fell asleep whenever I took enough damage,’ Kiwi responds.
‘Humans. Weak.’ Cinnamon says.
‘Well, what do we do with him,’ I ask.
‘That is why we came to you, Meister,’ Cake says.
“What are you going to do...” The man yells, before pausing whatever he was going to say upon seeing me and peeing himself.
Upon hearing the man's yelling, Brooklyn or as I like to call her, Gothalyn began to run back to us and quickly found the man laying on the floor next to the other body with a pile of blood next to the neck.
Gothalyn bent low and formed a small knife from the floor using her geomancy and threw it at the man’s head faster than an arrow shot from a bow, as the knife was only a mere few inches from ending the man's life. Kiwi brings down her forelimb faster than that and slams the knife into the ground in the middle of the man’s sprawled crouch. Nearly castrating him.
“What was that for?” I ask using Cake as a medium since Cake is within a few feet of Gothalyn and far away enough so the man can’t hear them.
“He knows,” Gothalyn gives a small remark. However, I instantly know what she means.
This man knows about me and therefore should die in Gothalyn’s eyes, and I don’t entirely disagree, I mean if word spread about me, I can’t even imagine the chaos that would ensue. I’m lucky to have brainwashed Gothalyn...wait what if I brainwash this guy, then he won’t have to die and I might be able to use him since I upgraded my parasite, the brainwashing aftereffect might be stronger since it only very weakly affects Gothalyn.
“Your assumption is at least slightly correct, you do at least need to get them to like you first beforehand, unlikely that may be,” GagOs says inside my core, condescendingly.
I ignore GagOs’s comment about me, and I formulate a plan.
“Wait, before you kill him let me try something,” I tell Gothalyn through Cake; who is much closer to her, leaving out as many details as possible for obvious reasons since I did the same thing to Gothalyn as I’m about to do to this man.
“...ok,” Gothalyn responds.
“Remember not to accidentally eat him; it would be such a shame if you suddenly found yourself addicted to human meat,” GagOs says, sarcastically.
I know. I know. All I have to do is the same thing I did for Gothalyn, and I’m fine. Sure, I might be a little more cannibal happy than I was before, but I did it once, I can do it again.
I roll over to the scared man, and I begin the process of becoming his friend before invading his brain since the brainwashing only works if they like me beforehand. It’s not the most efficient way of doing things but hopefully, it’ll work.
Now, what to do? Ah, I know. I have the perfect solution to this problem.
A few moments later I use Cake to whisper to Gothalyn my plan, which is to let Gothalyn pretend to be a scientist that is experimenting on monsters and found a way to combine humans and monsters. She is going to calm the man down while at the same time making me look less like a monster by introducing me as the nicest most kind monster. I tell Gothalyn I need to become friends with the man to test out one of my abilities. Gothalyn agrees without asking any questions and walks toward the man.
“Who? You?” Gothalyn asks the man.
“Run! They are going to kill you, too!” The man screams to Gothalyn.
“You. Misunderstand. I. Am. Trying. To. Combine. Monsters. And. Humans.” Gothalyn says to the man.
“Huh?!” The man’s jaw drops as he looks at Kiwi next to him, me, and Cake in the distance.
“It’s true,” The man whispers under his breath, however, I make it out clear enough.
“What about that one?” The man says pointing to me as I make a heart tendril toward the man.
“Most. Kind. Monster. I. Have. Created.” Gothalyn says, faking it better than I thought she would.
“A monster being kind? Well, now that you mention it, it doesn’t seem very mean. Creepy and bloody, though,” the man said under his breath, surprised.
I roll over to some sewage water and wash the blood off, surprising the man further.
“You’re. Right. I. Think. It. Wants. To. Be. Friends. With. You.”
“Did it just understand me?!”
“Yes. Pu- It. Is. Trying. To. Be. Friends.” Gothalyn almost calls me her made-up name.
“Are you going to use me for testing? I’m a terrible person to test on; I have a heart condition,” The man says to Gothalyn.
“Become. Friends. With. It.” Gothalyn says with her usual deadpan face, clearly annoyed with the man for not getting the idea yet.
“Huh?! Will-will you let me go if I do that?” The man asks.
“Maybe,” Gothalyn replies, devoid of emotion.
The man began to make kissing noises and calling me, as he shivered in desperation.
If I knew that he was going to do this, I would’ve just killed him to save him the embarrassment. Alright, that was a bad joke. But, I do feel I am becoming less and less human everyday in this body.
I roll over to the man, and he tries to touch me although his hand reflexively backs away at the last moment out of fear. I make another heart tendril to try and calm him down. It seems to work just enough that he decides to touch me.
“You’re right it is a nice monster…”
‘Kiwi punch his head, without breaking it,’
Kiwi does as I say and her semi-human hand launches from a standstill and punches the man unconscious in an instant. I slide a tendril up his nose and into his brain, making a small incision.
[You have failed to take over a body; this body will now only give half the amount of biomass]
“Wow, you failed. I really thought that would succeed since upgrading, the chances of you taking over a body have increased from 2% to 50.1%. Well, it’s not like it would matter anyway.”
What do you mean.
“10”
What is this?
“9”
What are you counting down for!
“8”
What’s happening!
“7”
Tell me!
“6”
Why does this human look tastier.
“5”
And savory-ier.
“4”
Tender, even.
“3”
It looks delicious.
“2”
I can take a little sip, right.
“1”
Humans can live without a kidney.
“0”
It's not cannibalism if I'm not human.
[You have consumed 5 Biomass; you do not have enough biomass. You are now starving.]
[You have gained 50 Biomass, you are no longer starving]
IT’SS SOOOO GOOOOOOOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!’
Name: Joy
[Species: Toxic Myst Lola
(The Toxic Myst Lola is a variation of the Lola species that releases a highly radioactive gas from their body producing the gas causes an increase in energy production due to the body's radioactive nature, although Biomass Consumption is also increased. They are also immune to all forms of radiation damage, using a secretion produced by the skin.)
[Gender: N/A
[Level:19
[Stats:
[Health: 500/500
[Stamina: 500/500
[Material Storage: 46/250
(Due to Evolutionary Advantage (Endurance) your Health and Stamina have been multiplied by 2 from the base amount of 250.)
[Mutations]
[Appendages
-Draining Spike 2+: Draining( Max)
Breakthrough: (Strong)
Brain Parasite: (Max)
[Draining Spike is the main attack for the Host’s Species, that has been mutated to provide a chance to control live-organisms when stuck in the main processing unit of the organism.]
-Suction Cups 2+:
Grip: (Max) Power:(Max)
Anti-Grav: (Strong)
[Suction Cups allow the Host to move on surfaces such as a wall or ceiling, it has been mutated to provide Anti-gravity, which causes weight loss for the host at the cost of stamina.]
[Internal
-Regeneration Gland Speed 2+:(Very Strong)
Usability: (Max) Deconstructive: (Max)
[The Regeneration Gland allows the host to regenerate much faster than normal; although if the Gland is destroyed the host will lose regeneration, it has been upgraded with Deconstructive; cells in the body after being separated from the host's body will try to find their way back, if they are unable to make their way back to the body they will self-destruct and violently explode, producing a insignificant amount of radiation.]
-Flesh Motor: Speed: (Slightly Strong) Usability: (Slightly Strong)
[A Gland in the body that allows for extra limbs to be created, the strength, amount, and speed of generation are variables that can be changed with further upgrades.]
-Toxic Gas Gland: Amount:(Weak) Strength: (Weak)
[This Gland is the main mutation of the Toxic Myst Lola and allows the host to produce a radioactive mist that glows around the body, while also permanently producing a skin secretion to block out incoming radiation. When active this Gland will also produce a mutated cell that increases resistance to pain, exhaustion, and cold. This Gland is toggleable. A downside is that it causes an increase in daily Biomass Consumption.]
-Radar Sense 2+ Clarity:(Max) Distance:(Max)
Dimmer: (Strong)
[The main sense for the Host’s species, it allows for long distance sight and hearing, but a loss of clarity occurs the further they are, it cannot penetrate through anything although it is able to bounce off and detect objects. Radar Sense has been upgraded with Dimmer; allowing the host a certain amount of resistance to bright lights, countering the original weakness to them.]
-Lola Core 1+: Defense: (Max) Usability: (Max) Shifting: (Extremely Weak)
[Combines all organs that are mandatory for survival into one small ball inside the body, it can be upgraded to provide a boost to reactionary movements, it is a critical weakness for any monster as any damage to the core is the same as damaging all needed organs, regeneration cannot regenerate any damage to the core, although it can be strengthened by allocating Biomass on (Defense). It is has been upgraded with Shifting; allowing the host to change both the position and shape of the Lola core.]
(Ability)
-Flesh Flash 2+: Distance:(Max) Speed:(Max) Spearhead: (Strong)
[The Flesh Motor will generate a special Flesh Flash tendril that has extra grip and special muscles that allow it to fling the Host at high speeds or to grapple onto something, Flesh Flash can be modified to have a longer special tendril or an increase in elasticity to provide extra speed. Flesh Flash has been upgraded with Spearhead; allowing the host to harden, coil, and sleaken the original flesh flash tendril into a deadly spear that can be launched out of the body at high speeds to pierce armor.]
-Monster Egg Latcher: Amount:(3) Progressor: (1)
[A Special Perk bought from the Mutation Store, it allows the host to take control of a selected organism for the rest of its life by inserting a parasitic worm into a Monster Egg, there is no chance for failure and a connection is almost impossible to sever. The amount of connections the host can make can be increased through upgrades or if the connection is severed a new connection can be made with a different organism. You can also skip evolutionary steps by upgrading the (Progressor) attachment.]
-Flesh Grenade 1+: Explosiveness:(Max) Generation:(Max) Remote Detonation: (Extremely Weak)
[An ability of the Toxic Myst Lola that will use large amounts of radiation on a specific limb to sever it and cause the cells in the severed limb to explode shortly thereafter, it has a cooldown that can be shortened with upgrades as well upgraded with extra (Explosiveness). Flesh Grenade has been upgraded with Remote Detonation; the host can control when the grenade explodes as long as they are within the upgradable range.]
(Perks)
-Tier 1 Mutation Store
[Tier 1 access to the Vast Network of Mutations for monster’s to Access and Buy unique Mutations, it is managed by Demi-God, Gilbert the Monopoly Penguin and is only available to monster's with special privilege.]
-Thrae’en Language Translator
[Translates the language of the planet Thrae for the host; works for both speaking and listening. Does not come with vocal cords or ears.]
-The Unknown Variable
[A random mutation at a random time will gain a random anomalous secondary ability that can greatly range in power. Only one mutation can gain an anomalous secondary ability at a time and once it randomizes again, the secondary power you gained from before will be lost forever. May the luckiest monster win!]
-Deep Learning
[It allows for a deeper insight into the system, which includes but is not limited too, free stories, pie recipes, jokes, descriptions, and best of all Verthrariug’s helpful advice. Hidden Commands included.]
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