《The Joy of Evolution》Moving on from Gagging to Mantis-ing - Ch. 27

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Gothalyn, blew out most of the flames meaning that I’m able to see without being blinded and I’m currently in the process of draining the massive mantis that Gothalyn killed using explosive powder.

[You have gained 29 Biomass]

[You have gained 27 Biomass]

[You have gained 39 Biomass]

[You have gained 40 Biomass]

GladOs, I swear to god if you stop my Biomass at 249, I will find you and I will use this draining spike to do unspeakable things to your core.

“For your own safety and the safety of others, please refrain from…,” GagOs talks fast enough that she can squeak out a sentence.

[You have gained 21 Biomass]

GagOs might be more annoying now that she is at 5x speed constantly, I am so glad that she seems to have a cooldown on speaking after muting, otherwise I might be blasted by GagOs more than I can mute her. That might be worse than hell, and you know what’s worse than hell, a GladOs themed one.

[You have gained 15 Biomass]

Maybe I should let GagOs speak a little more just to stop her from annoying me by talking super fast. Although now that I thought that she might do it anyway just to annoy me further.

“You may think that, but I find my voice to be best spoken at 111 words per minute.” GagOs says faster than any rapper known to man.

GagOs...did you just say something that didn't make fun of me?! Maybe GagOs changed her opinion of me and might actually help me! There is probably only a small chance that’s true but, alright...GagOs I will allow you one chance to redeem yourself.

But, I’m still going to call you GagOs just to remind you of the fate you will have if you continue to be an annoyance.

“You’re not a good cephalopod. You know that, right?” GagOs says at normal speed.

As I’m deciding whether or not I made a good decision by unmuting GagOs. A new message pops up.

[You have maxed out your Material Storage: 250/250]

Oh...I actually maxed out my Biomass. That’s good, uhm...I guess I’ll buy that translation upgrade, now. I was actually expecting something to come and ruin my ability to buy that perk, but I guess not!

I open the mutation store to buy the ability to learn this world's language, and I just buy it.

Nothing bad happens. GladOs doesn’t even try to mess me up for a big purchase. I guess unmuting GagOs was just a good luck charm or something.

Cart for

:Gilbert’s Mutation Store:

Thrae’en Language Translator - 500 Biomass

[You do not have enough Biomass for this purchase, would you like to use your 50% off coupon?]

Yes/No

I choose ‘yes’ and all my biomass leaves my body and I assume I become able to understand Gothalyn, although I don’t feel any different.

[You have bought the Perk: Thrae’en Language Translator for 250 Biomass, using your 50% off coupon]

As I’m trying to figure out a way to test the thing, I just bought, I get a completely different scary thought about GagOs’s messages about taking over my body, and that’s couldn’t GagOs just sneak a fast one as I’m answering GladOs’s questions?

“You would have already fallen for that, if I could do it.” GagOs comments on that thought.

I uhm...guess that’s true, GagOs. You’re already being such a massive help that I don’t know what I would do without you...now do you mind telling me, how to shut you down?

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“Okay.” GagOs responds.

Are you serious?! Last time, I asked her to give me the code she didn’t even respond to me, actually now that I think of it I might have muted her fast enough that she didn’t get time to answer.

“...Here is a list of 3.14 million hidden commands without a filter.”

A long list of commands pops up in my head and I’m forced to scroll through each and every one, but I obviously don’t do that and instead ignore it, and decide that since GagOs at least tried to help...I’ll let it slide this time. As much as I want to mute GagOs anyway, if I can just get her on my side...this will all be worth it. I can have a super intelligent robot lady give me the answer to all my questions!

“Don’t you have something to test?” GagOs says excitedly, but also mockingly.

Oh, that’s right, I got caught up with GagOs again. I need to figure out how to use that new translation perk and get some more biomass from the little mantises around here.

I finish draining the big mantis and watch as Gothalyn eats her somewhat cooked mantis meat and looks as if she is about to throw up, but still gets it down.

There is still a mixture of about 35 mantises and rock sticks corpses around here, more than I thought there would be and I let Cake take any extra biomass after I reach 147 Biomass, leaving about 11 mantises for her to enjoy.

After reaching a good amount of biomass, I also further another plan of increasing my strength, and that’s adding more monster’s to my group!

GladOs, upgrade my egg parasite supply.

[Confirmed, upgrading host using 100 biomass, remaining amount 47

Monster Egg Latcher: Amount (1) -> (3)]

Three?! I’m not complaining, but I was only expecting to get two. Is my life as a tentacle monster finally making a turn around, no more getting thrown around, poisoned, eaten alive, infected with toxic itch gas, or chased by monsters!

Probably not but a tentacle monster can dream.

‘Cake, I need to try something. Can you come over here?’ I mentally call for Cake.

‘I am always available for you, Meister.’ Cake responds and scuttles over to me using her new and somewhat girl-like body while pulling off chunks of mantis face using her mouth claws and eating them.

‘Meister, what do you need of me?’ Cake says looking down to me with her large pitch-black eyes, while continuing her meal.

‘Can you tell Gothalyn,’ I mentally try to say the words using my new perk, hoping that it works, ‘:Can you understand this?:’

‘I’ll uhm try to Meister but I am unsure of the words you are speaking.’ Cake says unsure about herself.

Did it work?! If Cake can’t understand me that must mean it worked! Come on this better work after wasting that biomass on it.

Cake puts down her food before scuttling over to Gothalyn. Gothalyn watches Cake move closer to her using the glow of the smoldering mantis.

“Can you -krt- understand this?” Cake says to Gothalyn.

After hearing those words, Gothalyn spits out her food in shock. Before trying to speak back, looking at Cake like she is some magical creature; which she is, but it is unusual for Gothalyn to look at her that way.

“Yes. Understand.” She says before she starts to cough again.

IT WORKED! I can understand and speak to her now, albeit it’s in a roundabout way that I have to speak through Cake but it’s so much better than playing with dolls.

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“How. *cough* Speak.” Gothalyn says to Cake.

How much should I tell her? I’m a human turned tentacle monster that took over a hermit crab using a parasite and transformed into some half crab half human cute monster and named her Cake and through Cake’s mouth I’m able to speak to you but she is actually not able to understand you.

Yeah, I am not telling her that.

‘Cake tell her, :I gained an ability to understand language after eating the monster you killed:’ Cake relays my message back to the shocked woman with a few chitterings mixed in.

Gothalyn looks away from Cake and looks at me, utterly confused. Since she probably thinks Cake is the one actually talking to her. Which wouldn’t make sense, since I was the one who ate the monster she killed.

“I am speaking to -krt- you through Cake.” Cake speaks for me.

“Who?” Gothalyn says after clearing her throat.

I roll over to her and raise a tendril to her.

“The white monster in -krt- front of you.” Cake speaks for me.

“What?! *cough* *cough* You?” Gothalyn says so surprised looking at me, that she can’t even seem to stand.

“Is. Cake,” She looks from me to Cake and points at her before continuing, “That.”

“Yes.” Cake says for me.

I’m a little mad she called Cake a “that”, but I’ll let it slide since Cake still doesn’t look very human although it should be enough to tell that she is a female and why does Gothalyn sound like Cake, before she evolved?

“Oh,” Gothalyn says before grabbing her rock dagger and poking her finger leaving a drop of blood that goes down the blade, Gothalyn stares at the blood moving down the blade.

“Not. *cough* Dream.” Gothalyn says poking herself, after hearing Cake’s name.

Are you serious! Your first instinct after hearing Cake’s name is to think you’re in a dream and then stab yourself to make sure it’s still reality?! Not pinch just go straight for the knife?! Cake is a great name for her, I’ll have you know!

Gothalyn tries to ask another question but stops herself after coughing up some blood.

Oh, that doesn’t look good. Atleast, I’m able to understand her and I can put the old rock figure translator behind me.

I'm still going to ask her some more questions, though.

“I have some things I would like to ask you? You can just nod or shake your head as an answer, if you can’t speak. Is that okay?” Cake asks in my place.

Gothalyn nods her head in a shocked expression as if she still thinks she might be in a dream even after testing it.

“Can -krt- a human level up?” Cake asks in my place.

Gothalyn is shocked by the question and shakes her head left to right.

“Can a human -krt- evolve?”

Gothalyn still looks shocked by the question but overall looks more confused than anything. Cake elaborates on my behalf.

“Can any human -krt- gain powers like the ones you have?”

Gothalyn shrugs her shoulders as if she doesn’t know the answer and instead Gothalyn tries to speak to me.

“Help. *cough* Escape.”

Gothalyn coughs up more blood trying to speak so I decide to end off our conversation before she hurts herself anymore.

“I, as in the white monster, will try to help you escape but I have a few things I have to do in this cave before I can fully leave it behind.”

I was hoping that I could escape with her but, she seems very determined to get out of this cave that if I push her off any further, I am actually concerned she might try to threaten me with my life.

Gothalyn doesn’t answer back but still has a look of surprise on her face as she tries to process her current situation

“It seems you had a successful test, I am shocked that you were able to reach this achievement with so little.” GagOs says very passive aggressively.

You know what...that’s kind of nice of you GagOs, It has been really hard to do things as a tentacle monster. Maybe GagOs isn’t so bad after all.

“That is not what I meant, but you may think of it that way if you like.”

Yep, I think I’ll do just that. I’d rather live in ignorance and have a compliment than know the truth and be mocked.

“That’s a very ‘special’ outlook on life, even when compared to the other test subjects.”

Other test subjects?! How come you’re just telling me this now! There are other human turned hell spawn abominations, out there.

“I wonder why I’m just now telling you, it’s not like a certain monster has been muting me over and over...Oh wait they have and it’s you.

You evil muting monster.” GagOs tells me.

I wouldn’t have muted you, if you weren’t so annoying! Although now that I have unmuted you, would you mind telling me more about those other “test subjects”.

“In regards to the other test subjects. I am uncertain of their predicaments due to my only connection with this world being you, but based on my calculations their average chances of survival at the start of their new life, including yours, was 0.0000000025%. It is nothing short of an impossibility that you were able to survive this long. It is likely that you are the only monster test subject to survive this long after starting their new life in this world. Your entire existence defies both logic and math.” GagOs finishes her lecture.

Wow! So you’re saying all other monster people are likely dead due to their spawning location. That’s a little sad but actually makes a lot of sense, I nearly died to the first enemy I had to face in this cave and had many more close encounters after that. That must mean I’m special to be able to survive through all those near-death experiences!

“Very.” GagOs says and I ignore that joke and instead focus on something completely different than dimension hopping monster people and that’s Gothalyn getting up and venturing further into the nest.

‘Cake ask her, :What are you doing?:’

“What are you -krt- doing?” Cake asks Gothalyn.

Gothalyn doesn’t respond to Cake, and I follow her deeper into the cave along with Cake to find out what she plans to do.

I also have a different purpose of going deeper into the nest, and that’s getting a new monster pet that will hopefully turn out to be as cute as Cake! I already feel the two new parasites growing inside of me, ready to be inserted into an egg. It’s not a very good feeling, but I can manage for now.

As we explore the nest, I decide to spend some more biomass that I gained from the mantis hoard to dim down the glow from the rocks to be able to see better near light.

[Using 11 Biomass to upgrade Radar Sense: Dimmer from [Extremely Weak] to [Very Weak] remaining amount 36]

I ask Cake to carry me and follow Gothalyn before I lose my senses.

About a minute and a half later, I gain my senses back inside of Cake’s shell. It’s actually kind of nice to be inside of Cake’s shell, it feels super secure and even a little cozy being able to relax inside without any visible threats. Although I still need to leave her shell to go find the mantis eggs.

‘Meister are you awake?’ Cake asks me as I start to move inside her shell.

‘Yeah, I am Cake. Can you let me out?’

*snip*

Cake’s shell tilts open and I can squeeze out of it. Cake is still following Gothalyn through the nest, and I can tell the glow from the rocks is looking visibly better. I also realized I should have asked Gothalyn for her actual name, but that’s something I can ask her when she is ready to talk.

Eventually, we end up reaching two large eggs that have a pulsing glow to them although the glow is very slight compared to the rocks. These eggs are also very different from the one Cake came from and I feel there might be some connection between them and the increase in rock mantises over rock sticks.

As I’m rolling over to the glowing monster eggs to insert these egg parasites into to hopefully get more monsters to fight by my side. I start to daydream about what a cute mantis girl might look like. I doubt it will be as cute as Cake but, they might be better at fighting than Cake since they are rock mantises.

*squelch*

As I’m daydreaming, Gothalyn comes from the side and stomps out one of the eggs.

I flesh flash into action to save the other egg before she destroys it and I grab it and transform into a pill and crawl up the wall carrying an egg nearly my size.

Are you insane?! I needed that egg! Now I need to find another egg to dump this parasite into!

‘Cake, tell her :eggs are good:’ I quickly tell Cake to say something to stop Gothalyn from destroying my only mantis egg.

“Eggs are good.” Cake says to Gothalyn.

Gothalyn looks back to Cake and then looks up at me holding onto my egg realizing that Cake isn’t actually talking to her. Her face looks at me as if saying, “What the hell are you doing. Come down here and let me destroy that egg.”

No! This is my egg! I can’t believe you destroyed the other one, I could have had another monster mantis girl! I use Cake to explain further about why I want this egg so bad.

“I, as in the white monster, can turn eggs into monster’s like -krt- Cake.” Cake repeats my words to Gothalyn, who is still trying to get used to the talking crab girl that speaks for a tentacle monster.

Gothalyn’s shocked eyes look over Cake’s half human body thinking about whether she should allow me to create another human monster, before answering with a little bit of a crazed smile on her face.

“Really? *cough* Sure?” Gothalyn says, interested in seeing how I can make a monster like Cake with a mix of having her mind completely shattered due to a certain tentacle monster's absurdity.

“You’re not going to destroy the egg as soon as I come -krt- down.” Cake says with a slight chitter.

Gothalyn shakes her head and steps a few feet back to watch me work my magic.

She seems to have gone a little crazy due to talking to Cake but I’m fine with crazy as long as she doesn’t destroy my egg.

I slump down next to the other destroyed egg and poke a spike into the only still alive mantis egg to pass on the egg parasite. Gothalyn and Cake both watch as the parasite leaves my body and enters the egg.

GladOs also gives me a message as soon as the parasite fully enters the egg.

[This organism has been upgraded with [Progressor], as such this organism can skip it’s first evolution. You may choose or randomize the evolution for this organism.]

That explains the lack of rock sticks! That mantis-mother must have gotten really lucky with this upgrade.

[There are 2027 evolutionary options to choose from; you may choose or randomize.]

Two...two…two...two...two...two...two...two…

THOUSAND?!!!!!!!

That’s gonna take forever to sort through, even with a filter!

I just want a mantis girl! Is that so much to ask for!

*cries in evolutionary options*

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