《The Joy of Evolution》A Monster can have a Brain-fart too. - Ch. 21
Advertisement
The pantless woman releases the pressure from the cage and starts to speak in single word sentences similar to Cake.
“Hyile. Filigude. Noglien.
I think she is trying to say something to me? GladOs do you know what she is saying? Actually, GladOs don't answer that and...
“Using the designation of 2 bits to translate the unknown language into the Host’s language, English,” GladOs says in a robotic monotone. “5,492,521 bits have been used to estimate the time until complete translation, the estimated time is 102 Years, 8 Months, 12 Days, 7 Hours, 14 Minutes, and 59 Seconds.” GladOs starts to countdown the seconds in my head.
I thought I said...Wow...you did exactly what I asked! You are making progress GladOs!
“102 Years, 8 Months, 12 Days, 7 Hours, 14 Minutes, and 58 Seconds,” GladOs says as she begins the countdown of the century...literally.
Nevermind...I didn't want to do this again but, I think you deserve it.
Mute.
I learned about this handy dandy feature after GladOs started to read an audiobook called, “The 4001 Dumbest Ways a Cephalopod Can Die.” One downside about muting though, is that it doesn’t outright stop the thing GladOs is talking about, It just hides it and GladOs can start a new conversation while keeping track of the old one in realtime.
So for example if I thought,
Unmute, The 4001 Dumbest Ways a Cephalopod Can Die.
GladOs’s voice permeates through my head and I tune into the story.
“#3764: A Cephalopod being turned into protein-based pasta sauce.”
“#3765: A Cephalopod suffocating to death in a burning orphanage.”
Mute.
I think it’s quite obvious why I muted the super light hearted and kid friendly audiobook about octopuses dying, but if it isn’t, well I think it has to do with the pasta sauce.
I have tried to find a command to permanently mute GladOs so I never have to listen to GladOs’s comments on my life ever again, but for now, I am more than happy to not have to listen to century long countdowns and give GladOs a little bit of the silent treatment.
“Bloobah. Gyinle.” The woman says, trying to talk to me in an unknown foreign language.
Oh, that's right, I still have to figure out how to get out of this situation.
She must be a little crazy to be talking to a monster in some underground cave. She was passed out when I drilled a hole into her brain otherwise she might have kept her memories of being puppeteered and not the amazingly drawn blood picture of her heroic savior rescuing her, or at least that's the only explanation I can think of why she hasn't already killed me.
I’m can't tell if drawing that picture was a good thing or not due to the fact that I might be experimented on or something for being so un-monsterlike, but if it's the only thing keeping this human from killing me right at this moment, then it can only be a good thing...I hope.
I look at the woman’s horribly mutilated black military vest, messy black hair, and messy eyeliner mixed with blood; that makes her look like a grown up version of a certain ghost that walks through tv’s.
My dream scenario would be if she leaves me alone and we have a non-aggression pact. Although judging by the way this ghost girl is acting I feel that I'm going to become a pet to do experiments on or even possibly killed.
But, when in doubt go with the third option, fleeing.
Advertisement
Having night vision that can view in 360 degrees allows me to look at the collapsed tunnel behind me and see the large Centi-Queen mandibles push the rocks out of the way.
*clink*
The rocks from the tunnel start to fall as the queen pushes her body through the collapsed tunnel.
I mentally turn off my slight glow and mist, so that the woman doesn’t see my escape, while she deals with the millipedes and Centi-Queen.
I start to pick away at the rock bars on my cage using my draining spike while the woman begins to crank her flashlight once again.
Having used her powers myself I know that she has a pool of Rock Magic that slowly recharges over time, and she must have used a decent amount of Rock Magic to collapse a tunnel on top of the Centi-Queen meaning that I will be able to escape while they fight to the death.
Although, I am willing to bet that the millipede nest is about to be exterminated, given the amount of millipedes I killed and injured and the fact that woman was able to beat the centi-queen while fighting on radioactive ground.
She turns on the flashlight blinding me for a moment, I immediately stop moving and make a few heart tendrils, before she turns the flashlight away from me and toward the Centi-Queen and 50 or so millipedes.
I continue to chip away at the rock bars while she creates a rock sword and dagger out of the ground and prepares to fight the oncoming bugs.
The pain starts to come back but, I continue to chip and drill away at the rock and act as if my gouging open wounds are simply little paper cuts, it doesn’t help, but at least I managed to chip away enough to slide through the bars.
I hop out of the cage and grip the floor to extend a flesh flash tendril along the ground to pull me away, it's painful to say the least as my body is still filled with millipede bite marks. But, it's the fastest way I can get away, I also activate Anti-Gravity Suction Cups for that slight extra weight loss.
The Tendril locks in place and quickly pulls me along the ground and I make my great getaway as the millipedes behind get chopped in half in one fell swoop by each of her blades, the only one that seems to be able to put up a fight is the Centi-Queen but, it already lost a limb or two from the rock swords slash.
See ya never, creepy ghost woman with no pants. I hope you find your way out and we never meet each other ever again.
After calming down I remember who started all of this, GladOs, she literally played me for a fiddle, she just wanted me to get bit by a bunch of millipedes and to suffer the itch even more.
"This assumption is corr..." GladOs tries to tell me.
Mute.
Yeah! GladOs take that, I'd like to see you try and screw me over again when you can't even speak a sentence.
I continue around a corner and start to roll through the maze, back to Hole Base to do a few things, but to mostly to feel safe again. I quickly arrive back at the rock door to Hole Base. I make sure to stop producing radiation before pushing the rock door out of the way. Cake must have moved it back while I was away.
I pull it open and using my Radar Sense I can see…CAKES CORPSE!
Advertisement
I don't even look around the room and immediately roll toward the lifeless body of Cake.
Her shell is also gone, whatever killed her took her shell. I stretch a tendril from my body and touch Cake’s lifeless husk of a body.
‘Meister! Back!’ I hear Cake’s voice from the beyond.
‘Cake, I know you were just following my orders due to the brain parasite, but whenever you did those little crab dances, it would make me forget all the trauma I have in this hell hole. Fuck! God Damn it! You were too cute to die!’ I mentally think.
“You really are a dumb cephal…” GladOs tries to say.
Mute.
GladOs would have sent me into a maddening rage, if she tried to make a joke about Cake’s death.
‘Meister?’ I hear an illusion of Cake’s voice.
I pick up Cake’s claw using a tendril.
‘Meister?! Hurt!’
‘It’s as if she’s still with me.’ I think while clutching the claw.
...Before a pair of antennas started to touch my still regenerating wounds. I move my focus from Cake’s dead body and to behind me, and I see what looks to be a shinier version of Cake with her spiraling shell of different shades of gray.
‘Huh?! Cake?! How...how are you alive?!’ I mentally ask the not dead Cake.
*snip snip snip*, Cake snips three times in confusion.
Then who is this? Did Cake disobey my order and go out and kill another hermit crab, although even if she did disobey, I'm pretty sure I killed the rest of the hermit crabs in the nest.
‘How did this get here, then?’ I mentally send to Cake while still clutching the claw.
‘Cake. Skin. Changed.’ Cake calmly sends to me as her antenna prod the wounds
Ohhhh! Cake molted into a new carapace that would explain the dead husk of a body and the new shinier carapace on Cake.
I throw the claw back into the pile of molted carapace and the cogs in my core start to turn and I figure out, I just spilled all the beans about Cake being a literal mind slave to me in my emotional distress!
I look back at Cake in fear of her trying to dig the parasite out of her or something but, she seems to be taking the news quite well as she continues to try and find all the damage the millipedes did to me with her antenna, almost as if the news didn't even register in her brain.
I’ll just assume the parasite has a function that makes Cake completely ignorant to the fact that she is a mind slave, no matter what, even if I tell her. I would try to push Cake for an answer but, I think living in ignorance might be a better idea, than the alternative of asking Cake a bunch of questions about the parasite that lives inside her head.
With all of that out of the way, I think I'll check my ‘status'
Name: Joy
[Species: Toxic Myst Lola
(The Toxic Myst Lola is a variation of the Lola species that releases a highly radioactive gas from their body producing the gas causes an increase in energy production due to the body's radioactive nature, although Biomass Consumption is also increased. They are also immune to all forms of radiation damage, using a secretion produced by the skin.)
[Gender: N/A
[Level:12
[Stats:
[Health: 346/500
[Stamina: 500/500
[Material Storage: 54/250
(Due to Evolutionary Advantage (Endurance) your Health and Stamina have been multiplied by 2 from the base amount of 250.)
[Mutations]
[Appendages
-Draining Spike 1+: Draining( Max)
Breakthrough:( Max)
Brain Parasite: (Extremely Weak)
[Draining Spike is the main attack for the Host’s Species, that has been mutated to provide a chance to control live-organisms when stuck in the main processing unit of the organism.]
-Suction Cups 1+:
Grip: (Max)
Power:(Max)
Anti-Grav: (Extremely Weak)
[Suction Cups allow the Host to move on surfaces such as a wall or ceiling, it has been mutated to provide Anti-gravity, which causes weight loss for the host at the cost of stamina.]
[Internal
-Regeneration Gland:
Speed:(Slow)
Usability: (Medium)
[The Regeneration Gland allows the host to regenerate much faster than normal; although if the Gland is destroyed the host will lose regeneration.]
-Flesh Motor:
Speed: (Slow)
Usability: (Very weak)
[A Gland in the body that allows for extra limbs to be created, the strength, amount, and speed of generation are variables that can be changed with further upgrades.]
-Toxic Gas Gland:
Amount:(Extremely Weak)
Strength: (Extremely Weak)
[This Gland is the main mutation of the Toxic Myst Lola and allows the host to produce a radioactive mist that glows around the body, while also permanently producing a skin secretion to block out incoming radiation. When active this Gland will also produce a mutated cell that increases resistance to pain, exhaustion, and cold. This Gland is toggleable. A downside is that it causes an increase in daily Biomass Consumption.]
-Radar Sense:
Clarity:(Medium)
Distance:(Max)
[The main sense for the Host’s species, it allows for long distance sight and hearing, but a loss of clarity occurs the further they are, it cannot penetrate through anything although it is able to bounce off and detect objects.]
-Lola Core:
Defense: (Very Weak)
Usability: (Very Weak)
[Combines all organs that are mandatory for survival into one small ball inside the body, it can be upgraded to provide a boost to reactionary movements, it is a critical weakness for any monster as any damage to the core is the same as damaging all needed organs, regeneration cannot regenerate any damage to the core, although it can be strengthened by allocating Biomass on (Defense).]
(Ability)
-Flesh Flash:
Distance:(Medium)
Speed:(Medium)
[The Flesh Motor will generate a special Flesh Flash tendril that has extra grip and special muscles that allow it to fling the Host at high speeds or to grapple onto something, Flesh Flash can be modified to have a longer special tendril or an increase in elasticity to provide extra speed.]
-Monster Egg Latcher:
Amount:(1)
Progressor: (0)
[A Special Perk bought from the Mutation Store, it allows the host to take control of a selected organism for the rest of its life by inserting a parasitic worm into a Monster Egg, there is no chance for failure and a connection is almost impossible to sever. The amount of connections the host can make can be increased through upgrades or if the connection is severed a new connection can be made with a different organism. You can also skip evolutionary steps by upgrading the (Progressor) attachment.]
-Flesh Grenade:
Explosiveness:(Extremely Weak)
Generation:(Extremely Weak)
[An ability of the Toxic Myst Lola that will use large amounts of radiation on a specific limb to sever it and cause the cells in the severed limb to explode shortly thereafter, it has a cooldown that can be shortened with upgrades as well upgraded with extra (Explosiveness).]
(Perks)
-Tier 1 Mutation Store
[Tier 1 access to the Vast Network of Mutations for monster’s to Access and Buy unique Mutations, it is managed by Demi-God, Gilbert the Monopoly Penguin and is only available to monster's with special privilege.]
-Deep Learning
[It allows for a deeper insight into the system, which includes but is not limited too, free stories, pie recipes, jokes, descriptions, and best of all Verthrariug’s helpful advice. Hidden Commands included.]
It seems my status has a 'little' more info on it after buying Deep Learning, I'll have to look into that later.
But for now I have 54 Biomass and a good idea of what to upgrade.
My Core and Flesh Motor are seriously under developed, my core basically dictates my reaction speed and it's also my weak point, and after evolving my reaction speed is definitely too slow for how fast I move.
Also if I want my Flesh Flash ability to become more useful at longer distances I am going to have to reel that tendril back in faster than I currently can and that means I need speed.
GladOs, Upgrade my Lola Core Usability to Slightly Strong and Defense to Medium, and Flesh Motor’s Usability also to slightly strong.
I would still like to upgrade some other things but, I need to keep a small reserve of Biomass for emergencies, so that should be good enough for now.
[Confirmed, Upgrading Host, using 38 Biomass, remaining amount 16]
Lola Core: Usability (Very Weak) -> (Slightly Strong)
Lola Core: Defense (Very Weak) -> (Medium)
Flesh Motor: Usability (Very Weak) -> (Slightly Strong)]
===
I pass out and while I’m cut off from all senses I begin to think that I may have upgraded the wrong thing. I said I wanted my Flesh Motor to have more speed, so why did I just upgrade Usability.
Did I just have a brainfart?
...a Core-fart?
Advertisement
- In Serial68 Chapters
Tautology
“Saying the same thing over and over again. For better or worse.” Aiden Lu awoke in a world that wasn’t his. There were familiarities, parallels, his old address, people he once knew, but people wielded superpowers, wondrous technology and magic beyond his age were used for the most mundane of tasks. Yet the world he awoke in was one dictated by constant conflict. Untold years ago, humanity crossed a line, a line that allowed integration to the wider Multiverse, an event that would later be known as The Apocalypse. Warp Gates to Otherworlds open completely at random, letting in alien things beyond comprehension or logic. Those who were blessed with power often give their lives to close these gates before the infections of alien realities become too great. The world is different in a way difficult for him to comprehend, yet there is a single difference that truly shook him, a sister dead in his old universe, alive but comatose here. Now reborn with his own unconventional power, he seeks to forge ahead, to continue on. Because in the end, a restart is a restart. One you can't hesitate to take advantage of. No matter where the path may lead, what can you do except to walk it? A modern post-post apocalypse story with both superpowers and high fantasy elements. Slow-paced and inspired by many of the things the author found enjoyable. Currently writing it for fun.
8 282 - In Serial56 Chapters
Haptic Imperative
The arch-wizard Orton hasn't been an ordinary human for many years, but traveling back into his own past for a fifth chance at defeating the evil magus Gentry puts him back in the year 1997, in his teenaged body as punk-rock dishwasher Dennis Wilkerson. Now he must retrace his steps through his adventure yet again -- recruiting his allies, defeating his enemies, and accruing his spells and powers all over again. But this time, one thing is different -- he's not alone.This novel takes place in the setting of Entangled Shadows, an urban fantasy quantum-physics magic system in development for use in Tabletop RPG play!
8 131 - In Serial47 Chapters
A Standard Model of Magic
The world ended, and magic came back. The part our parents didn't expect, was for Science to break on reentry. Twenty years after the apocalypse, with our nations dismantled and hidden continents unearthed, a new generation has grown up in the wreckage of 21st century civilization. For us, the fantastic is at our doorstep and we have had no choice but to fight back. Meanwhile, the laws of nature bend and break at the whims of immortal gods, all of which are now dead and none of which are content to stay that way. But we cannot afford to give up. We are the stewards of a rewritten century, in which a little luck and a whole lot of magic might make anything possible – maybe even a world better than the one we lost. A Standard Model of Magic is a complete overhaul of my old story A Storm in the Fall. I'm afraid I was unhappy with the LitRPG elements, which I don't mind reading, but I apparently loath writing. Sorry. Once I'd made the choice to decouple the story from the OF that inspired it and reconfigure the magic system to my satisfaction, little of the original plotline survived. I will be salvaging most of my original characters, and I will keep some elements which are endemic to the genre, but that is all. I don't have an update schedule which I can commit to yet, but I will try to maintain a weekly pace.(This is currently RoyalRoad exclusive, since I'm lazy. If you find it posted elsewhere, it wasn't me and it wasn't with permission) If you're interested, I've set up a discord.
8 222 - In Serial13 Chapters
Epitaph of Everything
The new coffin is opened in the dark, its occupant laid bare to the stale air. A skeletal hand meets another. Guided by the chattering of skulls it learns to read the plate atop its stone bed. "Naive". With no memories and no abilities other than its newly found locomotive skills, Naive is tasked with the same task as every newly emerged skeleton. Gather experiences. From nothing, Naive will venture out into the pitch black caverns and seek what can be found. Most often it will find death, but everytime its bones are ground to dust, burnt to ash or chewed into waste, they will reform with its consciousness in the coffin bearing its name. Live, die, learn, try again. If the undying gullible skeleton was ever alive in the first place. Epitaph of Everything, a coming of sentience story.
8 157 - In Serial26 Chapters
Matthew and the Chimney Sweeps: Book One (Completed, Editing)
2021 and 2022 Editor's PicksCover by : @Guinealove2005Matthew, an orphaned safe-cracking wiz of a boy, is being held prisoner in an old folk's home where he is forced to counterfeit money. However, on a stormy night, Matthew is rescued by a crime-fighting troupe of child chimney sweeps and is swept away to the big city of Spring Heights to live on a half-sunken boat.In the city, Matthew is introduced to other orphaned children who live on the streets, cleans chimneys with his new family, flees for his life across rooftops, rescues other children and tries to find out the whereabouts of a mean woman connected to his incarceration at the old folk's home. He also races carts down a hill, a popular pastime of the street children of Spring Heights, where not dying or getting injured is a good outcome.***Official Wattpad Reading Lists featured in:Superhero -- February reading listAdventure -- Middle-grade reading listUndiscovered Stories -- Thrill Seekers reading list Wattpad Urban -- Urban Fantasy reading listChildren's Fiction -- Age 10 - 12 EnglishCrime -- Kicking Ass &Taking NamesFantasy -- Middle Grade and Children's FantasyFantasy -- Featured Fantasy StoriesAction -- Adventure in ActionGeneral Fiction -- Live Life While You CanSuperhero -- No Power, No Problem
8 75 - In Serial7 Chapters
Sᴛʀᴇssғᴜʟ Sʜᴏᴡ - RᴜɪKᴀsᴀ - EN
It's all in the foreword, enjoy.
8 204

