Honestly, I still feel bad about everything that Faroff village went through. First monster wave. First zombie attack.

It doesn’t help my conscience that I ended up being responsible for both.

---

How did I manage to get to Faroff in about 3 days when Jake had said it would be about a week?

The simple answer is I ran. The more complicated answer is… I ran a lot.

Okay, okay, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that my [Athletics] skill, plus my regen timers not increasing, plus not needing to sleep, meant that I could cover a lot of ground quickly.

After convincing the party of my plan, it was a simple cycle of running until I hit around half SP, walking for about 7 minutes, so I was back to full, and then running again. All for three days straight.

I could have made it faster, but as I got nearer to Faroff I started encountering zombie wolves regularly, and I had to use my SP on [Fire Strikes] if I wanted a one-hit kill.

I may have also gotten lost. Splitting from the party meant that I no longer had someone with a [Map Interface] perk telling me where to go.

Due to the fact that I may have misplaced an entire village, it was a good thing that Richard decided to scream his challenge to the wolves, or I may have spent another day wandering those woods. Instead, his battle cry gave me a direction, and I took off towards it in a sprint.

I arrived just as Richard took a heavy blow that he didn’t get up from. That, in combination with a zombified alpha wolf pinning him and biting him, meant there was no time to lose. I ignored the enemies that finally noticed me, and I beelined it right for the downed [Warrior].

I managed to kick the wolf off of him with an [Air Strike], and said, “Sorry, I’m late.”

Richard laughed. “A few more seconds would’ve been late. I’d say you’re right on time.”

I could tell by the lack of fight in him that he was below 0 HP. I picked him up and slung him over a shoulder. “Where’s the rest of your party?”

Meanwhile, the alpha I had kicked growled and started circling me. Its behavior was mirrored by the zombie bear. I watched both of them warily as Rich replied, “I left them back in the village. They were running on fumes, so I was taking watch by myself.”

I [Fire Strike] kicked a zombie wolf that lunged at us from our right. “Not exactly your best idea.”

He sighed, “I know. But how was I supposed to know that their biggest wave yet would come right after everyone else went to go rest?”

I winced internally. I had been near the area. I had [Monster Magnet]. I had a sneaking suspicion that I was the reason for the sudden influx of monsters. I snapped out of it enough to take down another leaping wolf with a left-handed [Fire Strike], and I kept an eye on the circling elites. “So what do you think? Make a run for your party?”

“You think you can outrun them?” he asked.

No. I thought but didn’t voice that out loud. Trying to keep the [Warrior] alive severely limited my options. I couldn’t outrun or outfight the enemies while keeping him safe. Based on my understanding of HP, I was also down to just a minute or two left before he dropped dead from bleedout.

My decision was made for me. Both elites suddenly charged.

I braced for combat.

An [Ice Bolt] hit one in the face, and a [Fire Bolt] hit the other.

The entire battle’s attention was turned to where the rest of Rich’s party stood. They all looked on the verge of collapse, but they shouted in unison, “For Doom Fury!”

The [Rogue] and [Cleric] charged forward as the mages continued blasting. I used the distraction and beelined it towards the healer.

Nick took the bulk of the aggro, and he seemed content to mostly dodge while Samuel and I beat a path towards each other. As soon as I was in range, he shot a [Heal] at Richard, but that, of course, wasn’t anywhere near enough.

I punched and kicked three more wolves before reaching him and laying my passenger down. “Got a potion?” I asked as I turned back to the fight and punched another leaping wolf.

He didn’t even respond. He just pulled it out and dumped it down Richard’s throat.

Richard coughed and stood up. “Thanks, Sam. Let me guess, you’re the one that convinced everyone to come after me.”

Sam nodded. “Of course! We should never leave a friend behind.”

“Well, you’re a bunch of idiots.” Richard cracked a grin. “My idiots.” He turned to the mages. “Ethan! Potion!”

The [Wizard] didn’t hesitate. After finishing his next [Mage Bolt], he pulled a health potion out and then threw it all the way to Rich, who caught it and gulped it down.

We both looked at the alpha and bear that Nick was currently keeping busy and said at the same time, “I’ve got the bear.”

Richard frowned. “You have no reach. I’ll take the bear.”

I snorted. “I have a spell that’ll kill the bear easily. I’ll take the bear.”

I half expected him to continue arguing the point, but instead, he looked me in the eyes and nodded slowly. “Very well. Ranged support?”

I shook my head. “Shouldn’t need it.”

“Alright.” He shouted to the party. “Main tanking on alpha wolf! Titus has bear! Nick, and Sam ads, Ethan and Jake DPS!”

The party rushed to follow commands as Richard and I relieved a very panicked-looking Nick from dodging around the two elite mobs.

I ran up and got the bear’s attention and then kited it around a bit. I just need to get it on a hard-to-reach spot. I thought. Then I had an idea. Well, why not.

The bear charged me, and I charged at it. I could tell that Rich’s party thought I was crazy. Then at the last moment, I jumped and managed to clear the bear.

I cast my spell on the way. “[Summon Dave]!” The blob appeared, and I shoved it onto the bear’s back.

I tumbled off the monster, hit the ground, and managed to roll. I popped back up, ready to fight, but it was basically over from there. The zombified bear didn’t even try to dislodge the acidic ooze that was slowly eating it, and I simply kited it around for about half a minute.

Meanwhile, the rest of the party took down the alpha. We mopped up the remaining zombie wolves and then stood surveying the scene.

Richard took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, everyone. I made a bad call. Thanks for coming back for me.”

Nick slung an arm around his shoulder. “Of course I came back for you, you nitwit!” Ethan and Samuel nodded. “You still owe me money!”

Ethan laughed while Samuel scowled. Then Ethan added on, “Technically, you owe Sam and me money now too. You used up both of our HP pots.”

Richard blanched.

Meanwhile the other caster just stood there looking smug, and I was finally certain enough I hadn’t met him that I asked, “By the way, who’s the new guy?”

Richard was about to speak, but the [Sorcerer] beat him to the punch. “I am Jake! [Sorcerer] supreme! Master of earth and fire!”

I nodded with a straight face. “Ah, yes. And I am Titus, summoner of daves, and master of punching things in the face.”

He looked like he didn’t quite know what to do with that. “An… uhh… interesting title.”

I shrugged. “So why did you join Bloom Slurry?” In my defense, making fun of their name had become such a habit that it simply slipped out.

Fortunately, Jake didn’t seem to notice. “They required my arcane mastery in order to challenge the dungeon near this village! It was a good thing I came. Without my magical might, the town surely would have fallen to the undead monstrosities!”

The rest of the party rolled their eyes, while Richard looked extra ticked off.

Meanwhile, I just thought that through. Ah. They would need two casters to challenge the dungeon. That makes sense. I shook my head and then addressed the party as a whole. “So, do we have any idea what caused this undead attack? There weren’t any undead around when our party left Faroff.”

Richard shook his head. “No. No ideas. We even contacted the [King] with a [Message], but there wasn’t any information that anyone could find about it. This might be the very first undead attack this world has had.”

Yeesh, this town has had it rough.

After that, the party went around and started looting all of the bodies that we had killed. I told them about my lack of inventory, so I simply retrieved my dave from the bear’s corpse and then stood next to it, watching.

They decided to leave the biggest ones for last since they should have the best rewards, so they each started looting the smaller wolves.

Ethan made a disgusted face. “Ugh. Have we ever gotten anything besides rotten flesh from the zombie wolves?”

Samuel frowned. “Besides a few gold coins as a rare drop? No.”

“Do we need to even clear them?” Richard asked.

“It’s either that or leave a bunch of dead zombies lying around. I can’t see how that would go wrong,” Nick said.

Sam chuckled. “He’s got a point.”

“Oh, fine,” Richard acquiesced.

The party continued clearing out bodies, but I could tell they weren’t that motivated.

Then one of the bodies got up and bit Rich.

“What the hail?!” Rich yelled. He pulled his sword back out and put the zombie down again.

“You okay there, Rich?” Ethan called out.

“Yeah. That one must’ve been playing dead. Be careful!” Rich called to the party.

Tomb Jury’s melee combatants applied the tested method of poking things with sticks, while the casters started casting [Mage Bolt] at the corpses they went to loot. Ethan took to that with extra vigor and checked basically every corpse with it from range. When he was done, he chuckled. “Must’ve just been that one. None of the others reacted.”

He walked over to another body and was about to loot it when it got up too.

“They’re coming back to life!” he called out. He [Ice Bolted] it even as his look went from the wolf to the elites’ bodies.

I realized the same thing he did.

I threw Dave onto the bear’s corpse and then sprinted to the alpha wolf’s.

It was already getting up by the time I could get there.

I jumped on its back and started belting it in the head with [Fire Strikes] as fast as I could. I tried to buck me off, but I stayed on.

“Just. Stay. Dead!” I shouted and landed the final strike.

The alpha collapsed back to the ground, re-dead.

I tumbled off it and popped back up to my feet, looking around for any other attackers. The only thing around was a stunned party who had managed to loot the bear before it reanimated.

Ethan whistled. “Wow. That was quite the DPS.”

“You wanna join Doom Fury?” Richard asked. “No, wait. You were a part of the prophecy, right? I probably shouldn’t try to poach you then.” He shook his head but then grinned. “Actually, if you need a party after that winds down, look us up. We’ll be happy to have you.”

“I think I’m good,” I replied. “Thanks for the offer, though.”

With all the corpses looted successfully this time, we finally had a break. Or at least, kinda.

Another attack did come in about 30 minutes or so, but that meant I was basically topped off. Since there weren’t any alphas or bears in that one, I just had Assume Curry sit back and watch in case something crazy happened. Nothing did, so their only contribution was looting the corpses and a [Mage Bolt] here or there.

After that fight, I convinced them that I only needed one person with me on watch. Ethan volunteered for it, but Richard argued that he didn’t want to leave us alone out there.

My only response was to summon another dave, since my mana had come back, and say, “See. Now there’re four of us!”

He grudgingly agreed to take a longer break after that since he had only slept once in 3 days.

Meanwhile, Ethan stared quite a bit at the daves I had summoned. He finally asked. “How much mana does that spell cost? And how’d you get it?”

I shrugged. “It’s 50 MP, and it was the only option I had available at the obelisk.”

“I see,” he murmured. He pulled a piece of parchment and a quill out of nowhere and started writing. “And you’re a [Half-Demon]? Any idea why it chose to let you summon daves?”

I remembered how I had the option to make my own monster if I had wanted, but instead took the slimes that AltSys had prepared for me. “Nope,” I lied. “No clue.”

“Intriguing. How much do you know about these summons of yours?”

Chatting a bit more with Ethan, I learned that he had become something of the archivist for the guild (which is also when I learned that the adventurer’s guild was actually a thing that they started and that it was slowly becoming a big deal). He was working on a list of skills, spells, and items and also had a very sparsely filled out bestiary. He was delighted that I could tell him that daves had about 50 HP and that they dealt 12 damage per second when they were latched onto something.

“You’re the first one who could give me concrete numbers! Do you know how hard that has been to get?” he said with a sigh. “People started finding these slimes about a month ago, and they [Messaged] about them, but no one actually got me useful numbers. We’re in a world where health is perfectly quantifiable, and it was so frustrating that no one thought to check!”

We ended up talking more about the monsters of Placeholder. It turned out that we had encountered basically everything that was in his bestiary so far. He had the ants from the tutorial, wolves, alpha wolves, bears, stalacfights and stalagfights from the caves, and even the spiders. He also had the elemental wolf matriarch listed with basically no information, so I tried to help out with what I knew on that. I didn’t even bother trying to guess HP on it, though. [Sunder] had made that an impossible task.

I even got the opportunity to expand his bestiary by 4 more entries—lesser earth elemental, minor earth elemental, stranglevine, and dark croc. He was a little upset that I couldn’t get detailed numbers on any of them (even though I did have a ballpark estimate that the stranglevines had around 20 HP), but he understood that I didn’t have much opportunity to study them like I did for the daves.

I was a bit curious about what he had figured out so far in other areas, so I asked if I could read through his notes. He gave me the go-ahead as long as I was careful.

“Parchment is more expensive than you’d think,” he grumbled.

The first section I looked at was spells. It was just a list of all the magic that people had acquired, including the bolt spells and the ones he was calling “tier 2” spells; [Fire Ball], [Earth Slam], [Ice Shards], and [Air Cutter].

I was a bit confused since those all had a listed price of 10 spell points to purchase, but he clarified that [Wizards] basically get 2.5 spell points a level. That meant that any [Wizard] who was specializing in a single type could have one by level 6.

“Ah, so that’s how Tim got one,” I said.

“And I could’ve too if I didn’t need the dang [Message] spell,” he muttered.

The next section I pieced through was items. So far none of this had been helpful to me, but I decided to give it a look anyway. I was surprised when I noticed both an estimated flat damage number and then a scaling number.

“How does weapon scaling work?” I asked.

He laughed. “Nobody knows yet. At least not for sure. The only things I’m fairly confident about is that each weapon has a base damage, with swords dealing around 9 and bows and maces dealing 6 or 7. I think that as you level that number goes up. Swords used to deal 8 damage, and a slower scaling would explain why some of our tests had bows doing 6 and some doing 7.”

He continued. “It all gets muddied up as soon as people get weapon skills, though, because that also increases damage. I think it may be a multiplier?” He shook his head. “Either way, it’s been difficult to test since the only precise HP numbers we can use are other adventurers, and people aren’t too keen on getting slashed, or stabbed, or bludgeoned even in the name of science.”

I shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind being a test subject for that. I’m curious now.” I had been eaten alive by ants dozens if not hundreds of times. I’d almost died multiple times since leaving the tutorial. What was a little damage if it was for science?

“I’d really appreciate the help!” he said. Another wave of zombie wolves approached. “Maybe after all of this is over, though.”

I easily handled the small-fry and just tossed a spare dave onto the alpha that appeared with them. After that, Ethan and I went back to talking as he looted the bodies.

“There’s just so much that we don’t know about this world yet,” he said. “I always loved making different builds in games, so it’s a bit frustrating that we don’t know the rules. I would kill for a player’s handbook.”

I nodded along as he ranted, and soon enough, I was back to perusing his notes.

“Huh. Perks,” I muttered.

“Yeah, not too much data there,” he said. “In fact, most of it, aside from the class perks, comes from your party. Perk points have been few and far between.” He realized something. “By the way, you’re a [Half-Demon]. What kind of perks do you get?”

He pulled his quill back out and looked ready to start writing, but I cut him off. “Sorry, but I don’t think I want my perks to be written down. As far as I know, I’m the only one with my class, so it would be a bit… Awkward.”

“Okay,” he said, but I could tell he was disappointed.

I sighed. “Tell you what, I do know of 2 achievements that we purposefully didn’t tell anyone about because trying to get them would be idiotic. I can tell you about those if you promise to keep them at least a bit secret.”

He perked up at that and got ready to write. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“First one is Boss Solo. That one is basically what it says on the tin. Defeat a boss by yourself.”

“How do you know-“

I cut him off. “Second one is Underdog. Best I can tell, it’s either to defeat a monster that’s 10 levels higher than yourself or to beat a boss monster that’s 10 levels higher than yourself. Either way, I got it for beating a boss at level 4.”

He looked unamused. “Ah. You’re pulling my leg.”

I chuckled and ended up giving him an abbreviated version of my time in the tutorial. It was interrupted by another zombie wave, but I kept telling him the story as I fought, and then as he was looting all the bodies.

“That’s insane,” he shook his head. “I mean, I knew the entire world was basically keeping an eye out for you because Jake was stuck in Faroff until you came, but I had no idea it was because you were still in the tutorial.”

With that, I started looking through his notes again. I was finally on the section for skills. There were weapon skills like [Swordsmanship] and [Bowmanship], magic skills like [Ignis] and [Frigis], [Shield], a ton of class-specific skills like [Power Strike] and [Overchannel], and even some I didn’t realize existed like [Pack Mule] and [Barter].

I read through both of those and chuckled a bit when I found out that the criteria to learn [Pack Mule] was to become completely overencumbered due to inventory weight.

However, Ethan also had [Survivor] in there, and I was intrigued. I can finally learn what I missed out on when I picked [Athletics] instead. Ethan wasn’t sure on the unlock criteria beyond the fact that everyone who had [Survivor] as an option had very close calls, but he did note that it decreased the amount of damage that people took when they were low on HP.

That definitely could have been helpful. I thought. I shook my head. I probably would’ve died without [Athletic’s] decreased stamina usage, though.

I was surprised that several skills were missing from the list. “Hey, Ethan. What about [Martial Arts], [Elemental Strike], [Sneak], [Backstab], and [Detect]?”

“Are those first two the ones you use?” he asked. I nodded. “Can you tell me about them?”

“[Martial Arts] is basically a weapon skill but for your fists. And [Elemental Strike] is what I’ve been using in all these fights.”

We nailed down a few more details after that, including how I managed to unlock both of those skills. For [Martial Arts], I also had to correct myself that my variant was actually [Martial Arts (Way of the Adaptable Fist)]. Since I didn’t get my mind overwritten with how things worked, I mostly just had to guess and see if my subconscious seemed to agree with me. Together, Ethan and I concluded that there were other [Martial Art] “schools” that people could get and that mine was based mostly on punching. That also gave a solid theory for why I had the [Elemental Strike] skill available off that.

Yet another zombie wave interrupted our chat, and I was grateful for how quick my SP came back. I could definitely see how Boom Cury would struggle if that pace was kept up for several days.

After that wave was finished, we got talking about [Sneak] and [Backstab]. It turns out that [Sneak] wasn’t a [Rogue] specialty skill like I thought (Nick didn’t have it available). Their class-specific skill was [Steal], which made me wonder why Megan had it available in the tutorial. As for why he didn’t have [Backstab] in the list, he complained that it was probably just [Rogues] trying to hide what their class could do or that none had saved up enough for it yet.

Then we got to perhaps the most important one. [Detect]. I accidentally let it slip that I didn’t learn it from the obelisk, and Ethan practically exploded out of excitement. “It was just there!? What did you do? Recount everything!”

“I think it might have been because our party’s [Rogue] kept [Sneaking] around, and I kept finding her?” I ventured.

“How many times? How often did that occur?”

I shrugged. “I didn’t keep track. It was multiple times a day for more than a month.”

“This could change everything,” he muttered and started writing. He turned back to me. “Do you realize what this means?”

“That people don’t have to use skill points to gain [Detect]?” I asked.

“And why should that one be unique!? Maybe we can have people gain [Swordsmanship], or [Knifemanship] without having to waste their points! Then they would be that much closer to getting a 10-cost skill!” His eyes gleamed. “And that’s not all! What if magic is the same way? Could I have somehow learned [Message] without shelling out 3 spell points? Who knows?! It sounds like it takes a lot of practice to do it your way, but the benefits...”

Our chat was interrupted by Samuel, who walked up to us. “Dude, you were supposed to get another one of us after an hour or two!”

Ethan looked puzzled. “Has it been that long?”

Samuel sighed. “Yeah. Either way, go get some sleep. I’ll watch with Titus.”

“But all the possibilities!” Ethan said but withered under the [Cleric’s] glare. “Oh, fine.”

Not much of note happened for the next several hours. Sure, we had zombie waves every once in a while, but I was already used to fighting wolves, and the undead versions were morons in comparison.

Samuel eventually swapped for Jake and Jake for Nick, and then Nick for Richard. Soon enough, Rich’s party was rested up and back at full power.

Meanwhile, I’d been making good use of my MP, and I summoned daves whenever I could. By the 5th day since my party had received Ethan’s [Message], or about two days since I got there, I had amassed an army.

Having an army gave me an idea.

“You think that there’s something in the woods causing all the undead?” I asked. It was mid-morning, so everyone was on watch with me.

“Maybe?” Ethan said. “It would seem like there would have to be unless the zone has just taken to spawning undead for some reason.”

I looked off into the woods. “I want to go check it out.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Richard said. I scowled at him, but he held his hands up. “I didn’t mean that you couldn’t handle yourself out there. The problem is looting, remember?”

“Oh. Right,” I said. I knew there was a reason I was keeping these guys around.

Another wave attacked, and we made short work of them as I stewed about not being able to go check. I could have them go and check it out while I defend the village? I thought. I watched Richard loot a body and then had a thought. “Hey, leave one for me. I want to try something really quick.”

Richard pointed at one and said, “Okay, test on that one, but make it quick or it’ll come back.”

I grabbed a dave from my army and walked over to the corpse. I dropped the dave on it and commanded, “Loot the body!”

The dave sat there, confused.

Drat. It was a longshot. I stared at the dave. Might as well try some other stuff. “Eat the body?” I half commanded half asked.

No response.

“Attack the body.”

That finally got it to do something. It latched onto the body and did seem to be trying to damage it. I watched it go for a few seconds but then thought. Well, this is useless.

Then the body disappeared.

The dave flopped to the ground, and I stared at it. I couldn’t help my wide grin or the laugh that escaped my lips.

“Hey, you guys don’t get any good loot from the bodies, right?” I asked.

“No,” Richard replied. “Why?”

“Daves, clear all the bodies!”

My army of daves hopped, flopped, and jumped forward. They latched onto body after body and disintegrated them as a stunned Glume Matsuri watched.

“Well, that’s terrifying,” Ethan muttered.

When they were done, I commanded them all to follow me and headed off into the woods. “I’m going to go look for the source. Keep the village safe!”

I didn’t hear the response as I marched into the woods with my army in tow.

My first stop was the dungeon. I figured I would check the obelisk first to see if anything had corrupted it to cause it to start spawning undead.

I continued my slow march that way, I had to go at a dave’s pace after all, until suddenly, a boss health bar appeared on my screen. It was titled. “Heart of Undeath.”

I took a step backward. The bar disappeared. A step forward. It reappeared.

Guess I don’t have to go to the dungeon after all. I thought. I wandered around the forest looking for the heart and killed a wave of zombie wolves. I got out of range of its health bar, so I started backtracking.

When I did, I came across a fight between some noble wolves and some zombie wolves. I rushed in to help, but by the time I got in there and started [Fire Striking] 10 of them had already been turned.

The fight also took long enough that one of the zombies they had killed at the start of their battle was already back up.

So that’s why there are so many. I thought. The wolves try to attack, but they just end up padding their numbers. If they die, they become a zombie. If they kill a zombie, it just comes back since they don’t destroy the bodies. I sighed. It’s too bad this forest spawns so many wolves, or this wouldn’t be as big a problem.

I turned to look for the heart again and was surprised when the noble wolves started following me. Safety in numbers, I guess.

I found another fight shortly after and saved part of another wolf pack, including an alpha wolf. They also joined in following me.

I really have an army now. I grinned. There’s no way this boss stands a chance.

Then I finally saw it off in a clearing.

It was a grotesque thing. It was a pillar made out of a patchwork of dark wolf corpses that slowly inched across the ground and pulsed with a profane heartbeat.

Honestly, I almost gagged at the sight of it.

Slightly more worrisome were the number of reinforcements it had surrounding it. It had probably a hundred ordinary zombie wolves, half a dozen alpha zombies, and 3 bear zombies.

I beat a hasty retreat and ushered the wolves and daves back.

“There’s no way we can take that many,” I muttered. Then I had an idea. “Guess we just need some more reinforcements.”

I spent the next couple of hours adding more monsters to my growing army. I even found a few more alphas and two bears.

I looked over my horde and grinned. I’m a real [General] now, aren’t I?

System: General subclass has been set

I blinked. “What? The real System messages me for the first time in ages? And now I’m a [General]?” I checked through my status and found that I was indeed a level 1 [General] now in addition to being a level 9 [Demon Lord]. I didn’t get any more HP or other resources, so I assumed that subclasses didn’t give those.

It did give me two new skills (that didn’t appear to have associated levels). I immediately put one to use.

“[Form Army]!” I said.

System: Choose Army Faction. Choices available: Hero, Demon Lord

I guess that confirms it. Since I’m in the [Hero’s] party, I count as both factions. I looked at the noble wolves and remembered how they attacked me on sight when I wasn’t in the party. “Let’s go with that then. Hero faction.”

System: Choose army name

I thought for a second. “Monster Army.”

System: Monster Army army has been created for the Hero Faction

I facepalmed. Why am I surprised? Seriously. I looked at the daves and at the wolves. “Okay, so what does that actually do? Do I just invite them to my army?” I frowned. “Can monsters even be in an army?”

My question was answered by a vague impression that I could suddenly feel from the wolves. I hadn’t gotten to experience the [Enhanced Party] perk, but I imagined that it must be something like that only watered down quite a bit.

I could vaguely tell where groups of the gathered wolves were and what I had ordered them (currently nothing).

“You guys can understand my orders, right?” I asked the gathered army. They said nothing, but some of them growled a bit. “Right. Monsters. Can’t talk.” I had an idea. “What if I order you to hold position?”

I continued on, but they stayed there. I grinned. “Alright, I have a plan for taking that heart down, and I need your help to do it.”

---

I was nervous as I stood there watching the heart slowly inch forward, but as I watched more undead slowly join it, I knew I had to act sooner rather than later.

I reviewed my plans mentally and looked at the sparse vanguard of half my daves and normal wolves. I really hope this is enough.

I took a deep breath and shouted, “Vanguard. Forward!”

I took the lead with a line of daves and wolves following behind me. We were soon noticed, and I waited apprehensively to see what the undead would do.

About half of the wolves that the heart had guarding it came to intercept us. I was both relieved and nervous. Relieved because that meant the entire force wasn’t going to come crashing down on me immediately. Nervous because it validated my guess that the heart had a bit more control over the undead than their normal mindless attacking.

The undead came at us with a sprint while we went forward at a slow march.

The battle was joined.

I put down the first zombie wolf with a [Fire Strike] and continued on to the next as a few of my personal daves immediately latched onto the body to destroy it.

Elsewhere, zombies wolves met daves, and the daves won overwhelmingly. The zombies would get a bite attack in, but that was exactly where the daves wanted them. They simply latched on until the enemy’s body was destroyed and then continued moving forward.

The wolves in our group also held their own. Having them fight 1 on 1 against a zombie wolf would be suicide due to the zombie’s increased HP. That’s why I wasn’t having them fight fair. The wolves went in groups of threes, with one wolf baiting out an attack and dodging, and the other two leaping in to claim the kill. After each kill, they dragged the body back to a group of daves I had waiting in the backline to clean up after them.

It wasn’t all sunshine and roses, though. Some of the daves took one too many bites and were destroyed. Some of the wolves were too slow on a dodge, and they had to be put down as they rose up as a zombie.

Overall, phase 1 was a success, and I knew the heart would have to make a move soon.

Its next move was to send the rest of its normal wolves and half of its alphas.

I was hoping to bait out more, but that will have to do. I put down yet another zombie wolf and yelled out my next command. “Heavies!”

There is one reason why I think my monster army was better than 90% of armies ever fielded, and it is due to 3 simple words. Bear. Shock. Cavalry.

As the wave of enemies hit our lines, my two bears came at them from the sides and started massacring their way through the normal wolves. They quickly met the alphas, and even those didn’t stand a chance against the heavy blows that sent them reeling.

I put down one of our wolves that had come back as a zombie and looked back at the heart. Come on. Send them all. You know you have to.

The rest of its alphas and bears started charging, and I yelled out. “Fighting retreat!” Then for the daves in the vanguard that I had to be more specific for, “Attack and destroy any zombies that hit you, but move backward!”

Slowly our lines started moving backward, and I waited until the enemy bears were about halfway. “Skirmishers, now!”

The other wolves that I had kept in reserve went out and located the zombie bears. They nipped and dodged around them and slowly started leading them towards the woods.

We lost several wolves to heavy swipes that came too fast to dodge. From a pure numbers point, there was no way that those wolves would take bears down alone.

However, that wasn’t their goal. As soon as they reached the edge of the clearing, my real plan was revealed.

I had stationed another portion of my daves in the trees, and the wolves baited the bears underneath them perfectly. The daves dropped down onto their ursine foes, and it was all over. Meanwhile, the wolves simply retreated from the zombie bears, leaving them to their eventual acidic demise.

So far all of my plans had worked perfectly. The terrifying thing? I still wasn’t sure they would be enough.

One of my two bears finally went down and immediately came back as a zombie. It was able to bat down several of my normal wolves and raise them before I engaged it myself and put it down with my one cast of [Summon Dave] I had in reserve.

Our numbers were dwindling, but we had finally baited all the mobs far enough away for my final plan.

“Backdoor!” I shouted across the clearing.

My final set of troops howled and ran straight for the heart. My alpha wolves, each with a dave riding passenger.

The grotesque boss monster noticed them coming and immediately called the zombies back to it. They all turned away from my troops to go back to the heart.

That left us our opening.

“All forces, charge!” I shouted.

Since zombies were slower than the real deal, we overtook them and caused heavy casualties. At the same time, the alphas reached the boss and slammed their passengers into it.

The boss’s HP started ticking down quickly.

GG, EZ[1]. I thought.

However, my hubris was quickly proven wrong.

Back in Faroff it was several minutes before a killed zombie would get back up to fight again. That number was drastically decreased the closer you got to the heart.

I also had neglected to give the alphas any extras daves to deal with the zombies that they killed.

As the first zombies reached the alphas, they put them down quickly, but the zombies would only be down for a few scant seconds before they would be back up and attacking again. Soon one alpha went down and returned as a zombie that ripped a dave off the boss. Then another one.

Slowly but surely, we lost all of the daves that had been attacking right when the boss’s HP bar was on the brink of empty.

Meanwhile, I had my hands full just trying to stay alive.

I was being targeted by a huge group of wolves, and it was pushing me to the limit.

Dodge under one leap. Put another wolf down with a punch to its face. Get bitten by a third and throw it off of me into several of the other wolves.

I spared a brief moment to look out in despair at the boss that was so close to death but had managed to hold on. If I just had a ranged attack.

I looked down at one of the daves that jumped on a wolf.

I had an epiphany. “I do!”

I scooped the dave up, aligned it, and ignored the wolves that jumped on me and bit me. I only have one shot. “[Air Strike]!” I shouted as I punched the dave with all my might.

The improvised slimy projectile flew true.

It careened into the boss, and that was enough. The patchwork abomination slowly broke down and fell to the ground. All around me, dead zombies disappeared.

The live ones were still kicking, though.

A few minutes, and several more [Fire Strikes] later, we had finally mopped them all up.

There was hardly anything left of my army, though. I had 5 daves, a dozen wolves, and only one alpha. Neither of the bears made it.

I sicced the remaining daves on the corpse of the undead heart just to be sure, and then the wolves and I looked at each other.

“Thank you for your help and all of your sacrifices,” I said.

The alpha nodded slowly, and then I got a message from the System as the wolves sluggishly walked off.

System: Monster Army army has been disbanded

Easy come, easy go, I guess. I sighed. I looked back along the direction where the undead heart had come from. There were dead and rotten trees lining that path. I really should go check out where this thing came from. I checked my HP and saw I was down to 20. Maybe after I take a break and inform Legume Missouri.

I walked back to town with my 5 remaining daves.

I greeted the party, and we swapped stories. It turns out that Rich and his crew had fought basically no zombies since I left. I assumed that was because I had been pulling most of them in, but at least the town was safe. Meanwhile, I shortened my story down to “there was an undead boss monster, and I killed it with the daves.” I figured there was no point in trying to convince them of what actually happened. As much as I wanted to tell them that I was the first one to invent bear heavy cavalry on Placeholder.

After my hour break, I decided to leave the daves behind and head off by myself since I could cover ground quicker. I bid Rich and everyone farewell and made my way back to the battleground.

I started following the path south, and I realized that it might be more of a trek than I initially thought. I fell back into my normal travel patterns of running until half SP and then walking

That paused for a bit when I had a strange encounter.

“Is that a wild dave?” I asked.

Now I get what you’re thinking. I was literally the one who created them, and I was surely the foremost expert on daves at that point in history. So why was I confused? Well, the dave in question was off-colored, and its slime was twisted into an odd shape.

It slowly hopped towards me, so I cast “[Identify].”

Results? Zombie dave.

“REALLY!?” I shouted at the System. “Why on earth is that a thing!?”

I sighed and summoned another dave to keep it busy so that I could punch it to death.

That interlude done, I kept moving. Soon I started seeing familiar terrain.

Huh. Isn’t this around where we camped? The trail of undeath led right there, and I stared at it a bit before I had a disconcerting idea.

“There’s just no way, right?” I asked thin air. However, I found another trail of undeath too. I followed that to its end and ended up near our second campsite.

That made me really nervous, but I found a third trail and followed that one to confirm.

That too led near one of our campsites.

I sighed and thought it through. Undeath here seem to be all about bodies. Bodies disappear if you loot them, so it wasn’t all the wolves I killed at night. However, I summoned a bunch of daves at a lot of our different campsites, and they had no orders, so they would just defend themselves. Each dave could kill 5 wolves by themselves. The bodies would then get left there.

I shuddered as I realized how that could quickly spiral into a mound of dozens of bodies in a single place. It was no wonder I accidentally created an undead monstrosity.

“Everyone is going to be so ticked if they find out,” I groaned. I realized what I said. “If they found out.” I nodded. “If is good.”

I headed back to Faroff and prepared my age-old tactic of lying through my teeth.

[1] GG, EZ – GG stands for good game (a common thing gamers say at the end of games), but EZ is an abbreviation of “easy.” Together this is gamer slang saying basically, “The game is over and I was way better than you”