Heluna hissed a stream of curses that Kaldalis had never heard before. They were inventive and suggestive in a way that made him really aware that he was streaming every word to an unknown - and unknowable - audience.

“Okay,” Kaldalis said quickly, “calm down. We can think our way out of this.”

“Hooooow?” Heluna whispered incredulously, drawing the word out in to a near hiss. “What are we gonna do, fucking jump out of the-”

Kaldalis was already opening the window.

“Are you fucking crazy? I’m obviously joking!”

“Well, what do you want to do? Should we hide under the bed until she leaves again? Pretend we were necking in here and see if we can get away with a slap on the wrist?” He threw the window open and leaned out, looking for footholds. “You can try and get away with the standard sitcom shenanigans if you want, I’m out of here.”

“Necking?” Heluna asked. “What the everloving fuck is necking, and how the shit would it get us out of this mess?”

Kaldalis was already out the window. There was a decorative bit carved around the window that was large enough for the toes of his boots, and he was scooting his way carefully to the left, equal parts trying to get out of the window and making room for Heluna to follow.

“Fuck,” she cursed as she followed him out onto the tiny lip, the two of them hanging fifteen feet above the waterline on the hull beneath them. “Shit. Ass. Bitch.”

“Is that really necessary?” Kaldalis asked, trying to sound calmer than he felt as the boat rocked slowly back and forth with the waves, making the precariousness of his balance feel even more tenuous.

“It helps me think,” Heluna snapped, and then added: “you cock. So where the fuck do we go now? Just cling out here like shit on an asshole until she leaves?”

“Quiet. The window is open and she’s still in there. Just let me think for a minute.”

He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate. There was a way out of this without just jumping into the water, right? Even if they could get back onto the ship without someone calling “man overboard” and making a scene, being soaking wet would be disastrous for the rest of Heluna’s workday, and might raise enough questions to get her in trouble even after all they went through.

“The fishing deck.” Kaldalis opened his eyes and looked up. The lip of the fishing deck was a few feet beyond his arms’ reach. “That’s our escape.” He stopped and blinked a few times. “Why is the fishing deck right above the captain’s wind- you know what? Nevermind. Monsoon is a small indie company that can’t afford to hire someone who knows how to actually design a boat.”

“Okay, you fucking lunatic,” Heluna said, apparently ignoring the parts of his speech that didn’t make sense to her NPC brain. “How do we get up there?”

“You go up first. Climb up my body and then pull me up behind you.”

“Why don’t we just yell for help?”

“Two reasons. One, it’s too early. Nobody is ever fishing out here for at least another hour. And two,” he hissed in an exagurated whisper, ”the fucking captain is on the other side of this flimsy bit of wood I have my face pressed against.”

“Okay, fine.” Heluna shimmied her way up next to him. “Just… Don’t get any ideas here. You’re a great guy, but you’re not my type.”

“Suits me just fine. Just get moving before the boat sways the wrong way and we both end up in the drink.”

Heluna gave an aggravated huff at that, and he thought she was going to protest his not being offended at her preemptive rejection. But she said nothing, instead deciding to clamber over him as they discussed. His knee was her first foothold, and the added weight caused him to shift a little. His tail whipped up, providing critical counterweight to keep him from flailing his way into the ocean. The sailor scrambled a bit, gripping his horns for a handhold as she adjusted herself to step up with her other foot. Kaldalis tried to keep his neck stiff so that the backswept horn would steady her, but the feeling of weight on the new growth was weird and alien to his body.

“Easy on the horns,” he whispered.

Heluna grumbled something inaudible and adjusted to put her hand on the top of his head instead. Which wasn’t necessarily more stable, but it was less uncomfortable. Heluna’s feet found his shoulders in a moment, and then she was easily able to reach the base of the fishing deck to haul herself up and out of view.

“Okay, now help me up,” Kaldalis said.

Nothing happened.

“Heluna?” he hissed, looking over at the still-open window to the captain’s quarters. “Any time you’re ready.”

No response.

He pressed his lips into a thin line. There were ways out of this still. If Heluna had abandoned him, he could retrieve a weapon from his inventory and stab it into the hull, giving himself another foothold to try to reach the deck by himself. Except that the captain might be literally in her bed on the other side of this wall, and would hear - or maybe even see - whatever blade he used stab into the wood. He could try and creep back into the captain’s quarters and face whatever punishment she might mete out on him for trespassing on her privacy. If he could get his boots off, he wouldn’t be too afraid to jump into the water screaming bloody murder, and then claim that he fell off of the fishing deck. Hooking one of those giant sapphire-finned marlins by himself was a pretty decent cover. As long as someone spotted him to mount a rescue before he floated away from the boat, dooming himself to drown.

As he tried to find another - more perfect - solution, there was a susurrus sound against the hull next to him. He turned his head over to see a hanging rope. Looking up, he saw Heluna holding the other end and gesturing madly for him to climb up.

He expected his weight to almost pull Heluna over the railing. But she was much stronger than she looked, and once he had the rope in hand, the two working together got him up onto the deck in only a few seconds.

“Thanks,” he said when his feet were on solid, er, wood. Deck. Not ground. “I thought for a second that you weren’t coming back.”

“Come on,” she said as she clasped her hand onto his shoulder. “A sailor never abandons a true friend.”

There was a little chime and the quest on the right side of his vision completed. He felt a warm sense of satisfaction at that. Very warm. He furrowed his brow for a moment before he realized that he was Level 2 now.

“I bet you’re wondering what all this was about, huh?” Heluna asked, interrupting his realization.

“Um,” he blinked and fixed her with a glare. “Yeah. What actually happened in there? You didn’t trash that room, did you?”

“No, um.” Heluna flushed, her steel-toned skin turning slightly purplish around her nose and cheeks. “I don’t have time for the whole story right now. But, um. Apparently I can’t be trusted with him.”

“Who?” Kaldalis asked. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re an adventurer, right?” she asked. “Like, the real deal. One of those types?”

“Um, what?”

“Just…” She produced a crate slightly larger than a breadbox from seemingly nowhere. “You take care of him. It’s obvious he needs more stimulation than I can provide.”

“Wait, what are you…?”

“Thanks! I gotta get back to work!” Heluna seemed to already be at the door back into the ship as soon as the box was in his hands. “See you later!” And then she was gone and he was left holding a mysterious crate.

Considering the state of the captain’s quarters, Kaldalis elected to get some privacy in the sleeping quarters before opening the crate. At least there he could contain whatever he was about to unleash.

He opened the crate and inside was a dog. A chubby little orange and white corgi with giant ears and a friendly smile. The dog gave a little yap and then dissolved into a shower of golden sparks. The sparks flew into his chest and a menu opened itself on the bottom of his vision. It was, apparently, a non-combat pet menu, with a little flashing corgi face the only visible entry. He focused on it for a second, and the golden sparks sprayed out of him again, reforming the dog. The pup had the same happy smile, and gave another little yap, apparently unbothered by whatever process had just dematerialized and rematerialized him.

“Okay.” Kaldalis reached out and gave the dog a tentative scratch between the ears. The corgi leaned into the touch happily. “So I have a dog now. And I can summon and unsummon him at will.” He looked at the menu. “That seems humane.”

The dog yapped again.

“Alright, I mean, if you say it’s fine. I certainly can’t have you running around destroying captains’ quarters the whole trip.” He reached over with his other hand and scratched behind both of the dogs ears together, sending the puppy into a blissful state. “But I’ll keep you out when I can.”

The dog seemed alright with this plan. At least, as much as a dog could communicate.

“Well, I’m naming you Ein, of course,” he said, standing up and getting ready to return the dog to the pet menu. “Because I am a man of the finest tastes.”

The dog gave a little yap at that. It was borderline obnoxious, as most dog barks were at this size… but something about the stubby little body made it more cute than obnoxious.

“Yeah, it’s not terribly creative from my perspective, but within this world, I doubt there’s a Shinichiro Wantanabe to have made it a super-common corgi name.” He gave a mental command and the dog returned to the menu. “So let’s just go with it.”