《With You, in a Dreamlike World》022 - Elias, 11
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Elias hadn’t disliked summer very much, but his days of walking tirelessly through humid life-infested forests had caused him to develop a small phobia for sweating. Now that he’d found his cleanliness once more, he dreaded to return to the days of sticky, smelly skin.
“AhhhhhHHHHH!”
But through his hardship, he’d found a new form of entertainment that he hadn’t really indulged in before. While Sina had been the one to suggest it, he was having the most fun out of the two of them.
Elias yelled as he zoomed through the water slide, feeling the drop in his stomach as he plummeted and accelerated through a series of loops. The cool water felt amazing on his skin. He screamed in delight as he made the final plunge to the central pool, holding his nose so that the water wouldn’t shoot up his head. With a great splash and an explosion of bubbles, he sunk into the water then swam up, using the shallow floor to push himself.
He shook his head once he was outside, then glanced at Sina. She waved her hand from under the umbrella while sipping on a cup of fizzy juice.
“I never knew water parks could be so fun,” Elias laughed, approaching her. “We didn’t really have those where I used to live.”
“Me neither,” Sina said, “but I don’t quite see the appeal. Isn’t this just becoming wet?”
“There’s also the thrill from speeding through enclosed spaces. That whoomp feeling you get when you drop—I really can’t get enough of it. I think I’ll go for another ride.”
Failing to see Sina’s worried expression, Elias went for another experience, happily running up the stairs as he made his way to the top. It wasn’t a giant park—just a sizable one—but between the two of them, it was more than enough. With no lines to wait in or people to be wary of, he could enjoy the day to the fullest.
The only problem was that there were only four rides they could use, but he’d just begun to play. Sina was strangely reluctant to get her skin wet, and lately, she’d seemed more tired than usual. Normally, she hadn’t been tired at all.
He’d suggested that they go to a place where they could relax, and she’d suggested this place. Elias didn’t know how she’d found it, but she was good at discovering information. Over the past few weeks, they’d scouted the city in search of people, but so far, nothing had come up. The only problem was that Sina seemed to grow wearier and wearier, though when he’d asked, she’d simply smiled and told him not to worry about it.
“It might be everything I’ve done catching up to me,” she’d told him. “I wasn’t meant to live this long, after all.”
There was nothing wrong with her physically, according to her. Her skin smooth, and her body lean, her eyes clear. But it was her power that was dwindling, and it sucked the motivation out of her.
He’d asked her to stop helping him train if she was becoming exhausted, but that night, she’d clung to him even harder, refusing to let go. And that had been the end of it.
After his third ride on the water slide, Elias sat down next to Sina. She looked at him.
“You okay?” he asked. She was acting more and more like a girl, so he was starting to think that he had to treat her differently. He couldn’t always rely on her anymore. He had to be the sturdy man for her.
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But Sina shrugged and said otherwise. “I’m fine. Go enjoy yourself. I don’t want you to feel bad because of me. I’m just focused on—other things, that’s all.”
“You could tell me, and we could focus on it together,” Elias told her.
She swallowed her drink and smiled. “I’m only restoring my energy. You could join me, and I’ll help you practice.”
Sina patted on her lap.
“That’s okay,” Elias answered, clearing his throat. She was only wearing her swimsuit, and while it wasn’t that inappropriate, her arms and legs and stomach were still bare. He was glad that her chest area was fully covered up to her neck because he wouldn’t have known where to look otherwise.
“Are you sure?”
She was reading him again. “Yes,” he confirmed.
“If you like me so much, you don’t have to shy away from me,” she purred, crossing her legs.
“You don’t understand.”
Being born as a weapon, there was no way she could understand everything that had destroyed his relationship with everyone. As intrigued as he was, he felt sick at the same time. Sick at himself.
Disgusted for being a hypocrite.
“I think you worry too much,” Sina said, taking another sip and sighing. “What’s so terrible about skinship? You like it, but sometimes you don’t. It’s very interesting.”
“It’s not love. It’s not pure love,” Elias exhaled, holding his hands together. “It’s dangerous. My parents told me about it.”
“Do you love me?”
“I—what?”
The question had caught him off guard. The moisture on his skin felt more like sweat than water from the pool now.
“Love. You like me. But do you love me? What’s the difference?”
Elias scratched his cheek. He was talking to Sina, after all.
“I’m sure you can tell.”
“I want to hear you say it.”
Elias slowly turned around, eventually meeting Sina’s expectant eyes. She was leaning forward now. He’d expected a blank expression, but there was a certain passion in her posture, a demand to hear what she wanted to.
Would he say it? There was no one around, after all. No one was there to shame or embarrass him, and Sina had stuck with him so far.
“I love you,” Elias told her firmly, staring into her eyes. “I love you a lot. And I want to make you fall in love with me.” He flung his arms in the air after saying it, wanting to cool his burning cheeks with the pool water. “I mean, you probably already knew this, right?”
“Hmm.”
She blinked.
Then she turned her head around so he couldn’t see her face. Suddenly, there was silence between them.
Huh? What? He hadn’t expected this reaction. Was she too tired to be herself? Or was it something else?
“Sina?”
After a pause, she turned her head slightly and peeked at him. Was it the sun, or was she blushing?
“I’ve never been loved before,” she mumbled, twirling her long hair. “It makes me happy when you say it. Thank you.”
“W-well I’m glad that you do,” Elias said, getting up. “I, err, I’m going to ride the slide one more.”
She nodded, and he sprinted all the way to the top of the water slide, unable to contain his screaming emotions. When he entered the tube, he began yelling his lungs out, unable to differentiate between the thrill of the ride or the exhilaration of his heart, and he exhausted every sound he had in his body by the time he crashed into the pool, letting himself drown as he stared at the warm glow of the sun.
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Was he dreaming?
He’d never expected to make this much progress in their relationship. She’d been a little more than a talking robot in the beginning, but now, she was making his heart do somersaults over a lake of boiling elation. He laughed into the water, causing his vision to be covered with bubbles.
When he came out, Sina had recovered her blank expression as if nothing had happened. She smiled when she saw him, taking a sip out of her drink.
Elias was happy. Happier than he’d ever been in a long time.
He fell backwards on the water and stared at the clouds that floated by. He was happy, but he couldn’t help but feel as if there was something in between them, something he couldn’t quite grasp—something that made him feel uneasy. Was it the fact that Sina had abnormal powers? No, that couldn’t be it. He loved her for that. Or her personality? He loved that too.
He closed his eyes. Sometimes, her words felt artificial. Especially when her expression became blank. Because she could read his emotions, maybe she was forming her facial expressions just for him, because that was what he expected of her. He liked the way she’d changed, and there was no way she didn’t know that.
Was he forcing her to become someone she wasn’t? He dreaded the idea.
Would she go to such lengths for him? Or was it just a facade, created out of her desire for amusement?
He breathed out and let the pool’s water engulf his body. Twisted, disgusting, toxic, destructive thoughts. He hated how his mind worked. He hadn’t been like this before. Not before Crystal had left him. He screamed, letting the water drown his voice.
Did Sina know what a broken person he was? Would her ability to read his heart let her read his mind as well? He prayed not, wished with all his heart because if she could, she’d be repulsed by him. She was pure, an existence that had known only about her mission. He couldn’t show her anything else than love, lest she became like him.
But he’d relied on her so far. His actions didn’t match his thoughts. He’d complained, cried, groaned, and grumbled. Now, his unnecessary thoughts were multiplying again now that they were enjoying a moment of peace—
Elias flinched as his body was suddenly fished out of the water by hands that held his sides from behind.
“Why is it that when I leave you alone, your emotions become all unpleasant?” Sina said, patting his back. “Stop focusing on the past. Keep your eyes on the present. Keep your eyes on me.”
But I wasn’t thinking about the past. He wiped the water from his eyes.
“Was I wrong?” Sina put a hand to her waist. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t like it when you are feeling bad. It makes me feel bad too.”
“Sorry.”
“It must be because I wasn’t playing with you. Let’s go on a ride together then.”
“That’s not why—”
“But it makes you happy.”
Elias paused. “Yes,” he admitted. “But aren’t you tired?”
She took him by the hand and pulled him forward. “I’ve enjoyed a good drink and a moment of rest. I’m feeling much better now. It’s time to have some fun.”
Something welled up in Elias’s chest, and he kept the tears from sprouting from his eyes. There was no way her actions were merely imitations. How could anyone be so caring and kind? Once again, she’d blown away his thoughts, filling them with his love for her.
“You seem better now,” Sina said, looking back at him. She was beautiful in her swimsuit.
“Yeah,” he replied. “I’m sorry for being like this. You don’t have to read me all the time, you know?”
She smiled, then pointed towards a ride. “Should we go on that one? It looks exciting.”
“That sounds good.”
So they spent the rest of the afternoon riding and cheering as the violent flow of the water washed away the emotions Elias wanted to forget. Soon, his thoughts had retreated to the back of his consciousness again, back where he wanted them to stay and never return to the surface.
He couldn’t waste time feeling down when he didn’t have enough time to enjoy the happiness before him.
He could be selfish, just for today.
⤙ ◯ ⤚
When they’d returned from the water park to their room (at a different hotel farther into the city), Sina had collapsed on the bed, burying her head into the pillow. Within moments, she was fast asleep, her chest heaving up and down slowly while her body remained completely still.
So, she’d been tired after all. Smiling, Elias carefully pushed her hair to the side and pulled a blanket over her legs. Then he proceeded to sit down on a chair and stare at the screen that was at the front of the room. There hadn’t been any available broadcasts, but there was nowhere else to look. He would have slept too, but his body was still energetic from playing so much.
It was about an hour to dinner too. While Sina slept, he decided that he would bring the food over to the room so she wouldn’t have to walk all the way over to the cafeteria. Closing the door so it wouldn’t be locked, he quietly went out of the room and made his way to the elevator. In a short while, it arrived and he headed towards the second floor where the restaurants were.
Like every other building they’d visited, there was nothing present except for the cleaning robots and dispensers for food. The menus were always the same too, and the same dish always had the same taste. Now that he’d tasted everything, he wanted handmade food, but there was no way they’d be able to get the ingredients from anywhere. All of the food stores never had fresh ingredients—only packaged goods.
While he waited for the food to be prepared, he sat down on a chair and looked at the windows. Because it was the summer, the sun lingered longer than usual, and orange rays were casting reflections on the glass of the other buildings. Now that his blood had stopped flowing so rapidly, fatigue was subtly building in his body, and he leaned back, his mind a little numb from being happy for the whole afternoon.
Just when he was thinking how he wanted Sina to stay with him forever, he saw something humanoid beyond the glass of the other building, staring at him. The sun’s rays were making it difficult to see, and he blinked. It was still there, standing. Watching. Its face was covered by the light, but Elias could feel its eyes on him.
A mannequin? The figure wasn’t moving. He got up—and the figure moved away from the window, disappearing into the dark.
“Wait!” Elias shouted, running to the window. But seeing the figure moving away, he changed directions and dashed towards the stairs, jumping four steps at a time to reach the first floor in moments. His body was strong, and he was confident that he could get to the figure before it escaped.
It would have been better if he’d brought his MUP staff with him, but it was too late to turn back. Rushing out of the building, he sprinted across the street to the building on the other side and pushed through the doors, controlling his breathing so he wouldn’t be gasping for air when it was important. He quickly scanned the building, which was a kind of empty exhibition place, but its art had been stripped. He found the stairs in an instant.
Who? Who could it be? He’d always found it strange that the entirety of the city so far had been empty despite everything being so well regulated. There had to be people somewhere.
With a grunt, he reached the second floor and wiped the sweat off of his forehead. Some pillars and walls were obstructing his vision, but he knew he could run around the area within a minute and find the person, whoever they were. His footsteps echoed through the walls as he jogged.
He skidded to a halt when his eyes fell on a tall man, athletic in form. His back was towards him, and he was facing the window. The guy had returned to his original spot and was looking at the hotel Elias had been in again. Creepy.
The weirdest characteristic about the man was that he was in a sort of mechanical suit, thin enough to highlight the muscles on his body. But the suit was metallic, composed of thousands of small plates, knives, and disks that seemed to realign with every breath the man took. The weirder thing was that even the man’s head was covered in it, and from where Elias was, the man looked more like a machine given all of the metal covering his skin.
The man looked dangerous. Gulping, Elias took a step back. Was he a friend? Or foe?
Suddenly, a small circle opened up on the man’s skull, and the eye focused on him. Elias froze on the spot as the man turned around.
“Uh, hello?” he nervously said. The man didn’t reply.
Elias wasn’t even sure if the thing was a man. Because more eyes began to open up on the metal suit, and the face of the man had four, two focused at the center, two near the temple, all evenly spaced out. None were where the eyes were meant to be. Even creepier, five more eyes opened, one at the upper portion of the chest below the neck, two on each shoulder, on between the ribs, and one on the lower stomach. In the fading sunlight, its appearance seemed unearthly—even alien. Elias had never seen anything like it before.
He knew the feeling that gripped his heart. He’d felt it when he’d first seen the Shadows. Except now, the enemy wasn’t supernatural, but technologically advanced.
“Ass,” Elias swore.
When the figure began running towards him, Elias screamed and ran for his life. Despite looking so metallic, the figure only made small click-clack noises every time its feet met the ground, and it terrified him even more.
Great. The thing was soundproof. This is just great. Does every city have to have something creepy in it?
Why now? They’d been in the city for weeks. Not a single sign of them existing, and suddenly, he was being chased. Had they only been watching them? Had Sina never noticed?
He hated himself for not bringing a weapon with him, but looking back, he wasn’t sure if his MUP staff would have done anything. It might have slowed him down, and there was no way he was going to fight that thing that had razor-sharp fingers. The beady eyes were certain to catch all of his movements if he attempted to retaliate.
This thing was worse than a Shadow. He just desperately prayed that there was a human underneath all of the metal because then, it wouldn’t be as horrifying.
“Sina!” he cried when he got out of the building. For once, he hated himself for letting their room be on the highest floor.
There was a crash, and something dropped from the sky. The ground shook as Sina’s fist slammed into the humanoid suit of metal, crushing it underneath her body. Elias covered his face to protect his eyes from the debris, relieved that she’d heard his call.
When the dust settled, Elias saw the figure crushed on the ground, its limbs flattened and its torso ripped in half. And he knew that the thing wasn’t a human at all.
It was a machine.
“Are you okay?” Sina asked.
“Yeah. I’m fine. You?”
She looked at her hands. “I’m fine. I’m quite strong.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, Elias approached the fallen automaton and knelt down before it. Its head was still intact, but its movements were completely still. He looked again. No, the cameras were moving.
“Do you recognize this?” Elias asked. “They’re like the dogs, but humanoid.”
“No,” she replied. “I’ve never seen this before.” She turned to him with worried eyes. “I should have sensed it. I put you in danger.”
“You said you aren’t good at sensing things that aren’t alive, right?” Elias said, kicking the head of the automaton. “And you were sleeping. If anything, it’s my fault that I went out alone.”
“No, I—”
She seemed like she wanted to say something.
“—I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking down. Elias scratched his cheek.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” he managed to say, putting his hand on her shoulder. “I’m alive, you defeated the thing.”
She didn’t look convinced. He didn’t understand why. Did she care that much for him?
“I don’t want you to feel bad because of me,” he told her, putting his arms around her in a hug. “Hey, it’s okay. It makes me feel terrible if you make those expressions. Not that I don’t want you to make them. It’s good to express your feelings, but what I’m trying to say is—it’s okay. You did nothing wrong.”
He didn’t really know what to say. He just didn’t want Sina to be sad.
She leaned her head against his shoulder but didn’t say anything. They stood there for a while before Elias decided that it was time to go.
“Sorry to break the mood, but—we should destroy the cameras on that thing first,” Elias said, watching the beady eyes that kept flickering around on the automaton.
“There are cameras all over the city,” Sina told him without lifting her head. “It won’t really matter if that robot sees us.”
“Oh. Right.”
She raised her head and looked into his eyes. She looked incredibly exhausted. “I won’t let it happen again,” she promised. “I won’t ever put you in danger.”
“I think I can carry my own weight,” Elias shrugged, putting his arms down. “I could have taken down this thing easily if I had the rifle. Besides—”
Before he could finish the sentence, Sina’s eyes closed abruptly, and she began to fall forward towards him. He caught her before she met the floor. When he looked at her face, she was fast asleep, breathing deeply while her face was flushed. He touched her forehead, and he knew that she had a fever. She was burning.
Hastily, he put Sina on his back and made his way to the hotel. After getting on the elevator, he was on his way to their room when he thought he felt a small vibration that shook the building ever so slightly. He remained still to feel it again, but everything was silent—had he imagined it? He didn’t know. His feelings were a mess right now.
The feeling of unease had crawled into him again. Would he have to live in fear again? He was just glad that Sina had trained him every day. But she wasn’t being herself now when he most needed her. He just hoped the symptoms weren’t permanent.
She hadn’t been this ill before. Jumping off from over thirty stories couldn’t have been good for her body. She’d likely depleted most of her energy then because he’d been stupid enough to venture out on his own.
Elias bit his lip. Sina’s rough, shallow breaths were warm on his skin. Her body felt light on his arms, like a girl’s.
Was he expecting too much from her? She was human, just like him.
“Come on, Sina. You’ve survived worse,” he whispered.
When they finally reached their room, Elias gently placed her on the couch after seeing the windows broken in the bedroom. It was a miracle that none of the pieces had damaged her skin. Taking a towel from the drawers, he doused it in water, squeezed it, then returned to Sina and put the cloth on her head. Her expression softened, though Elias could tell that she was still in pain.
All he could do now was wait. Worryingly, he held her hand between his. It was burning up too, so he quickly fetched another wet towel and began to wipe down her arms and legs. Her shallow breaths seemed to deepen after a while, and he finally put down the towel, wiping the sweat off of his forehead.
He made sure to change the wet cloth on her head every once in a while, making sure it was cool but not cold. Elias carefully touched Sina’s cheek, and she muttered something inaudible. Her skin was still hot.
His parents had done this for him once, many years ago. He didn’t know why he was remembering this now. Now that he thought about it, they should have sent him to the hospital instead of taking care of him at home. But they had, spending the whole night wiping down his body.
It was because of that experience that he roughly knew what to do now. They’d done some good in his life.
Elias placed his head on the edge of the couch and relaxed. He wanted to talk to his parents again. Maybe he’d been too harsh on them, becoming furious over nothing. Washing dishes was a luxury now.
And his friends too. Why hadn’t they been able to simply talk it out?
Something dark and dull gripped his chest, twisting it uncomfortably. Because they’d been lost in their own world. Because he’d pointed out their problems, and he’d become a stench to them.
A tap.
In the abyss, something touched his shoulder.
Another tap. His body came alive, and he opened his eyes.
Sina was holding his hands, and she was looking at him gently, her eyes still tired from her sleep. But the healthy complexion of her face had returned, though her hair was a mess. She smiled and touched his cheek.
“Thank you,” she told him, lowering her body to hug him.
“Are you okay now?” he asked, blinking to clear his mind. The past was nothing but the past—the present was here.
“Yes,” she said softly. “I’m fine now. I’ve taken care of everything.”
“What do you mean?”
She didn’t reply. Instead, she slid down from the couch and hugged him even closer to her body, placing her chest on his. Even though he’d just woken up, he could feel his heart beating rapidly as they sat there in the faint glow of the bathroom light.
And he could feel the beating of her heart too. It was strong, loud, and violent. They called out to each other, thumping to let the other know of its presence.
“You wonder why I’d care this much for you,” Sina whispered, holding him tighter. “Every day, I can feel your doubt and fear. You agonize over yourself, and you always wonder if what you’re doing is acceptable.”
“Yeah,” Elias said.
“It’s not just because you’re useful. Or because I think of you as entertainment. Can’t you tell? I’ve changed.”
“You did.”
“You don’t understand. Can’t you feel my heart?”
She took his hand and placed it on her chest. “Doesn’t this say enough about how I feel about you?”
He felt it. He felt it clearly. It was warm.
“I love you,” Sina breathed, looking into his eyes. “So stop having doubts anymore. Stop thinking about the things that hurt you, because I am here. You will never be a burden.”
“I—”
Something welled up in his chest.
“Don’t doubt it. Believe in me,” Sina urged.
“Am I allowed to?”
“You are.”
“I’ve let someone down before.”
“They didn’t know you. But I know. I know everything. And I love all of it.”
Elias held back the tears that threatened to burst out of his eyes. His vision became blurry as his breathing was drenched in emotion.
“Really?” he asked.
“Yes,” she answered.
It seemed too good to be true. “Can you say it one more time?”
She smiled. “I love you, Elias.”
Before he could react, she leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead, keeping her lips on his skin for a good three seconds before tenderly letting go. The place where she’d kissed him felt warm, and he felt something silky and intricate enter his body through his sixth sense.
“What did you do?” he asked.
“It’s a present from me,” she told him. “It’s only a seed now, but the more you develop your power, it will grow and eventually bud. You’ve always doubted me, so I’m giving you something that will let you see my genuinity.”
“Reading emotions.”
“Yes. It will take time, but I hope one day, you’ll be able to know exactly how much I adore you.”
“Was this the thing that was making you tired?” Elias touched his forehead. “Creating a gift for me?”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
Elias wrapped his arms around Sina and hugged her, pulling her close to his heart.
“I’m glad,” he sighed, closing his eyes. “But don’t overwork yourself again. I hate seeing you hurt.”
“I know.”
He was still afraid. That she’d come to dislike him as time passed, that she’d see his weaknesses and come to abhor them. But she’d told him that she knew everything—that she loved him for it. Could he trust her? Could he completely believe her with all of his heart? He’d been broken twice before, and the cracks still hadn’t healed.
But he loved her. As much as his heart didn’t act the way he wanted it to, he’d trust her. He’d trust her with all of his existence.
“Let’s go eat something,” he said, undoing the hug. “And we should find another room to sleep in.”
“Ah, I did break the window, didn’t I?”
They got up, and Elias groaned, slapping his cheeks. “I forgot that I was getting the food ready! It’s gotta be cold by now.”
Holding hands, they headed towards the second floor, selected new dishes because the ones from before had vanished (probably because of the cleaner bots), and went to the lobby to get new keys for a new room. Never once did they let go of their hands, and all the way, Elias felt a lightness in his heart that he’d never felt before. Like he’d been liberated from chains that had clamped down on his bones.
Why was it that he was feeling so joyful when he knew of the existence of the armored automatons now? He’d been anxious, but now the problem felt minor. He felt like he could do anything with Sina by his side.
He was hers, and she was his. He still couldn’t believe it. That the emotionless girl would transform into a loving friend.
“What made you fall in love with me?” he chuckled, looking into her eyes.
She beamed. “I thought you were fragile when I first met you. When I first opened my eyes, you scurried away like a frightened animal...”
They talked all through the night, forgetting about the dangers that awaited them in the city. Unknown to Elias, beings lurked in the shadows, watching everything that was going on around the hotel. Many kilometers away, a group of elites sharpened their tools, preparing for what was to come.
But for now—
They were safe.
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