Our Father, Who Art Thou?

“You’ll never be alone when you make that journey home, you’ll find your brother, find your cousin, find your wife. They’ll be waiting here for you, no more troubles in your crew, to keep you for the rest of your life.”

-from “Run Away, Starman”, traditional spacer song

Later, after the tour had been given, Yan and Sylva waited in the corridor outside the captain's stateroom.

They were in one of the two giant rotating rings that made up the majority of the inhabited spaces aboard the Iron Dreams. This ring had the distinction of rotating along the outside of the asteroid that made up the bulk of the ship, which allowed for windows to be set into its sides. There weren't any in this particular hallway, but there were in other parts of the ring. The view out of them could be particularly disconcerting: the bulk of the asteroid appeared at the top of the window while stars slowly slid past along the bottom.

Sylva remained dressed in her uniform, the black cassock with blue cape, but with much more practical shoes- the grippy and magnetic ones preferred by every worker aboard a ship.

Yan had changed into her own best clothes: a variation on her school uniform made in a heavy, rich fabric that had appeared in her mailbox on the day of graduation. This was accented with a short cape like Sylva's, but in scarlet. This had been rather awkward to receive in her mail, since First Sandreas had not said anything about sending it, but Yan could only assume it was from him, or from one of his subordinates on his orders.

Yan rang the doorbell on the side of the door, above the keypad for the security code.

After a moment, the captain's voice sounded through the tinny speaker. "Welcome back, Yan, come on in."

The door slid open to reveal the living room of the captain's quarters, but not the captain at the moment. Yan and Sylva stepped inside and the door shut behind them.

Yan had been here several times before, and she recognized the simple but expensive furnishings that had been there on her previous visits. As everything on a ship had to be, every object was subtly secured in position in case the ring had to be stopped.

Along one wall was a large window, showing the expected (and somewhat bland) view. Doors led to other rooms, presumably the captain's private office and bedroom. The living room was on a lower level, but there was a small set of stairs that led up into a dining area, separated from the living room with a banister. The living room had a few couches, a large screen on the opposite wall from the window, a coffee table, and a few cabinets containing trinkets and books.

After a moment, the captain opened one of the doors and stepped out of his office. Yan caught a quick glimpse of a desk covered in paraphernalia: holographic maps of space, a display showing the status of the ship, and many other things that she could not make out.

The captain himself was a tall black man with a trimmed beard and glasses. His head was completely shaved. The captain was distantly related to Yan. If she remembered correctly, he was her mother's paternal uncle's son. His name was Pellon BarCarran, but the crew addressed him as Captain Pellon, since most people on the Iron Dreams shared the same surname.

Pellon smiled brightly as he walked towards the two girls. He held out his hand to shake theirs. "It's good to see you again, Yan. And a pleasure to meet you, Miss Sylva— sorry, I don't believe I know your family name?" Pellon asked in slightly accented New Imperial.

"Sylva Calor, but I just go by Sylva. And the pleasure is all mine. Thank you for having me on your ship." She smiled up at him as they shook hands.

"You are most welcome. Any friend of Yan's is a friend of ours. After all, she's my first cousin once removed." There was the name of the relationship that Yan could never remember.

"Not to be rude, but isn't basically everyone on this ship related?" Sylva asked.

Pellon laughed and gestured for them to follow him into the dining room area. "It's true that for the most part we are all extended family, but Yan's mother and I were quite close when we were children."

Yan tried to contain a wince at the mention of her mother.

"Would either of you care for some wine?" Pellon asked. He had walked over to a section of the wood paneled wall of the dining room and pressed a cleverly hidden button, which slid a panel of the wall open to reveal a rack of wine bottles in a fridge.

"Sure, thank you." Yan said.

"I'll also take some, thanks." Sylva said.

"Excellent," Pellon replied cheerfully. The dining room table was already set with plates and glasses. Pellon selected a bottle of wine, and deftly opened it with a bottle opener, and poured some into the three glasses on the table.

"So," Pellon said, handing out the glasses, "How has life been for you at school this year?"

"Pretty good. It's nice to finally be ready to start an apprenticeship and be done with daily classes," Yan said. "I'll probably miss it a bit once I start working for real, though."

Pellon laughed at this. "Yan, you've been working since you were tiny. I find it hard to believe that a cushy apprenticeship could be harder than working a ship's cargo bay, or flying a shuttle around."

"You never know until you start," Yan said. "I'm pretty nervous about it, regardless."

"Maxes never did mention what your apprenticeship was going to be, now that we're talking about it. Did you end up joining the xenobio team like you were hoping for?"

Sylva, who had been politely sipping her wine and listening to the conversation, stifled a snort and tried to disguise it as choking on her wine.

"I got an offer from xenobio, but I turned them down. I also turned down an academics team offer." Yan rubbed the back of her head as she felt the anxiety of having to tell her family (more specifically, her captain) about her apprenticeship. Her hair wasn't much longer than Pellon's, but she got some comfort from the sensation. "I never did tell Maxes what my apprenticeship was, I said I wanted to say in person."

"You mustn't keep me in such suspense! What could have made you turn down xenobio?" Pellon asked.

Yan avoided answering by taking a sip of her wine. Since she wasn't much of a drinker, she had no reference frame with which to appreciate any of its qualities other than the ones that would allow her to take a moment to think before she spoke.

"First Sandreas finally decided it was time to take apprentices," Yan finally said. "And for some reason, he liked my project enough to pick me."

The room was dead silent for a moment, with only the quiet hum of the ship's ventilation and internal mechanisms rumbling in the background. Pellon put his glass of wine down on the table.

"Usually I'm not one for profanities, but holy shit, Yan. I'm not sure if I should congratulate you or yell at you," Pellon said.

"That's about how I've been feeling since I accepted his offer," Yan said. "I've only talked to him once, during interview day, and it was..." She trailed off, unsure of the word to use. Intense? Alarming? Exciting?

"Any idea what the job is going to entail?" Pellon asked after a moment.

"No idea. First Sandreas has his hands in basically every corner of the empire's operations, and he suggested that, I don't know, he was pretty vague? Um. Definitely high level stuff."

"And I'm going into theological arts," Sylva said unceremoniously. Yan gave her a light shove on the shoulder.

Abruptly, Pellon switched into Terlin and gave Yan a questioning look. "Yan, how much are you comfortable talking about in front of your friend?"

Yan was surprised by this question and looked at Pellon sharply. Sylva, beside her, sighed.

"Everything." Yan made her reply in New Imperial, reinforcing that Sylva could hear whatever needed to be said.

Pellon looked as though he were about to say something, but a buzzer sounded, alerting the three that there was someone at the door.

"That must be the food. Have a seat at the table, I'll bring it in." Pellon headed down out of the dining area towards the door to the rest of the ship. It opened at the touch of a button and revealed the form of a knee high wheeled robot bearing a large, covered tray. Pellon removed the tray and the robot wheeled itself away back down the hall.

The food on the tray turned out to be a large bowl of curry and rice. "That smells delicious," Yan said.

"You'll have to thank the cook for that, not me." Pellon smiled as he sat down at the table, across from Yan and Sylva. "Do you, uh, want to say a blessing?"

"Sure," Yan said. She had grown unaccustomed to eating anywhere other than a communal dining hall, where the blessing was said on the way in.

Yan was about to start speaking when she felt Sylva's hand grab hers under the table. Yan gave it a quick squeeze of acknowledgement. When she did start speaking, Sylva joined in, the prayer intimate and familiar.

"Blessed are you, Lord of all creation, whose untold works provide sustenance and beauty. May you bless this work of our human hands, and remind us that all the good things of this world come from and return to you, forever." Yan and Sylva recited together.

After a moment of silence, Sylva released Yan's hand.

"Well, let's eat," Pellon said, slightly awkwardly. He passed the bowl of rice to Yan, who served some on her plate and then passed it to Sylva. The curry and bread was likewise passed around.

"I was wondering," Pellon said after a moment, "Sylva, would you mind being the cantor in our chapel while you're visiting? Yan mentioned to me at one point that you have a lovely singing voice."

Before Sylva could answer the question, Yan butted in. "What happened to Bellero? She leave the ship?"

"She's been visiting her father for the past month or so, and we won't be picking her up again until we swing back near the Thesios region," Pellon explained. "And it is tough to get a cantor who's also willing to work a shift on a ship, especially as just a fill in for a couple months."

Yan looked at Sylva expectantly.

"I guess I'm fine with doing that. Yan could too, though," Sylva said.

"Familiarity breeds contempt," Yan said. "Or is it, 'no man is a prophet on his own ship'?"

"Either way, it will be nice to have some fresh blood doing our worship. Thank you for taking on the task," Pellon said.

"I guess it makes up for the fact that I'm completely useless on a ship in every other respect," Sylva said with a laugh. "How many services will you want me to do?"

"Probably just three every Sevensday, one per shift. I wouldn't expect attendance to be particularly massive, but it will be nice to have," Pellon said. "I'll put up a message on the ship's board that we have a cantor again, at least for a little while."

"Everyone will come to gawk at you," Yan helpfully added.

"At least that will drive up attendance. I can't believe I'm out here preaching to a ship full of heathens," Sylva joked.

"Better heathens than heretics," Yan said.

"You both wound me," Pellon said mildly. "My ship and crew is as God fearing as they come."

"I'll believe that when I see it," Yan replied with a smile. It was well established that Yan's religious convictions had appeared only after she was taken to the Academy, as life on board the Iron Dreams was not particularly devout, especially for a child who would squirm out of going to worship at any opportunity.

The conversation died down for a minute as the three ate.

"So, how's life been aboard the Dreams? Anything exciting been happening?" Yan asked after a while.

"Nothing in particular. Oh, your cousin Emil got married, he and his wife are having their honeymoon on Veralli right now."

"And I wasn't invited to the wedding? What a shame," Yan said.

"We had one pirate size us up, while we were loading ore from the mining zone in Devali, but we didn't lose anything."

"That's good I guess," Yan said.

"In general it's been a pretty quiet year since you were last here. As they say, it's a blessing to live in boring times," Pellon said.

"Who exactly says that?" Sylva asked.

"Presumably people who have hated living in interesting times," Yan supplied. "You been by the outer colonies much this year?"

"Only twice, our mining route had some extra supply they asked us to unload there." Pellon said, "Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering how things are going out there. Obviously hearing about the political situation is different when you live nextdoor to the Imperial Center than if you are actually visiting the outer colonies."

"Nothing much has been happening, there's just the usual rumblings of discontent, typical pirate attacks, same old criminal activity, and military personnel from the planets assigned to stand around and look important in the ports. Completely normal, or at least as normal as things get out there."

"That's good to hear," Yan said.

"What were you expecting to hear?" Pellon asked.

"I had no idea. There's been a lot of talk on the news about discontent on Jenjin and various other places, but you know how it is with the media when it comes to what gets reported at ho-- on Emerri."

Both Sylva and Pellon noticed Yan's verbal mistake and correction. Pellon gave her a considering look, and Sylva nudged her foot with her own. Yan looked somewhat miserably down at her plate for a moment and took a sip of wine.

"Yan," Pellon said after a long moment. "I know the Iron Dreams isn't... It probably hasn't felt like much of a home to you since your mother died, and especially since you went to school. But I want you to know, everyone here is your family and loves you, and there will always be a place here for you."

"Thanks," Yan said and rubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand.

This was clearly a heartfelt sentiment from Pellon. Hearing him say that, like she could go back to her room and rejoin the crew for the rest of her life, Yan felt like there was nothing in the world she could have wanted more. There would be only the routine of ship life, and undoubtedly the promise of command in her future, and the friendliness and comfort of the extended family she had grown up with. There would be no uncertainty there. She wanted to leap into her distant cousin's arms and cry with relief.

But of course, that was not a viable path. Like Pellon had said, that door had closed once, after the death of her mother, and a second time, after the Academy recruiter noticed her trailing after her uncle on a bustling port station. There could be no going back to the times before then.

Yan cleared her throat and awkwardly tried to shift the conversation topic. "So, what was it you wanted to tell me earlier?"

Pellon sighed. "Maybe this isn't the best time to discuss it."

"Well at this point I'm dying to know," Yan said, fully recovered now that the conversation was away from less touchy subjects.

Sylva looked between the two of them curiously. "I can, uh, leave if it's too personal," she offered.

Yan looked at her and rolled her eyes. "You know I'd just tell you anyway, right?"

"Yan, it's about your father," Pellon said.

"Oh, well, in that case, I'm very much all ears," Yan said. "And I might be about to be fifteen charges richer."

"What?" Pellon asked flatly. Sylva started laughing.

"Oh, sorry, who my father is is a running joke among me and a couple of my friends- we put money down on who he turns out to be."

"A joke?" Pellon seemed to be slightly in shock.

"Yeah... I guess, maybe it does seem a little callous, like if he is actually dead or something and I never was able to meet him, or if it was a tragic romance between him and my mom, or whatever. Nobody ever mentioned him, though, not even in a gossipy way. So I figured it couldn't be that bad, and I started speculating, and maybe it did get a little out of hand."

"Oh," Pellon said flatly.

"I have five credits on him being a whirlwind romance. There one day and gone the next," Sylva said.

"I guess I'm glad to hear you aren't going to be upset by whatever I say then," Pellon muttered.

"I'm on the edge of my seat with anticipation," Yan said.

"God, there's no good way to put this. It was your uncle Maxes idea, and your mom went along with it," Pellon said.

"This sounds extremely gross already, but continue," Yan said.

Sylva leaned in, looking all too thrilled to be witnessing this revelation.

"Not like that! Maxes thought it would be... advantageous... to have a sensitive family member, so he convinced your mother to let him buy some genetic material on the black market, and, uh, that's the story."

"Pay up," Yan said brightly to Sylva, who sighed in disappointment.

"You guessed that?" Pellon asked.

"Not that it was Uncle Maxes idea, but all the rest was fairly obvious in my opinion. No mention of a father by anyone ever, no one else in the family has any sensitivity whatsoever, going back as many generations as I can find, and certainly the family has enough money to purchase something like that. Plus I only look half related to everybody else on the ship, so I’m not like the product of a school romance on Terlin. So donor baby of some type seemed pretty likely."

"Maybe I should have told you earlier," Pellon said. "I was hoping that Maxes would own up to it at some point but clearly that wasn't the case."

"Maxes has his own agenda. Telling me things rarely factors into it," Yan said dryly. "I'm not torn up about it, if you're worried. It's honestly a relief to know."

"I'm glad you feel that way," Pellon said. "I'd... I'd appreciate if you didn't tell Maxes that I told you. I'm sure he was going to get around to it eventually, but I felt bad still keeping the secret, especially now that you're an adult."

"Aren't you Maxes’s boss? Why do you have to tiptoe around his feelings?" Sylva asked.

"I am the head of our family, yes," Pellon said, deigning to answer Sylva's rather rude question. "But part of being a leader is knowing who to keep in your good graces. Maxes has connections that are valuable to the family, and betraying his trust is a good way to lose those connections."

Yan sighed. "Yeah, I won't tell him, don't worry about it."

"I appreciate it," Pellon said.

"Do you know why he wanted to have a sensitive in the family?" Yan asked. "You said it was basically his idea."

"Political connections, mostly. Free stardrive repair would be a bonus," Pellon said.

"You know I would have to be licensed in stardrive operations in order to touch that, right? I didn't take the certification course," Yan said. She had been thoroughly warned against meddling with stardrives in her courses at the Academy. The potential for disastrous mistakes was just too high.

"I know that now. At the time this was being proposed, I don't think Maxes had a clue what he was doing. I'm just telling you what I think his justifications were."

"Makes sense, I guess," Yan said.

"Especially around the outer colonies at that time, there was a lot of talk about one in a million babies, and a lot of people understanding that a disproportionate number of Imperial positions were being filled by sensitives. It was a craze at the time, to try to elevate your family's status."

"At the time?" Sylva asked.

"I think these things come and go as fads," Pellon said. "No matter how high quality of a genetic sample you get, there's still only a very slim chance that all the money you paid will get you any return. And even if you do end up with a sensitive child, it'll take twenty years for that kid to get anywhere in life. Political machinations tend to move at least a little bit faster than children growing into capable adults do."

Yan nodded. "I guess my only question is still just... who did my genetics come from, and how were they acquired?"

"No idea," Pellon admitted. "Like I said, it was a black market operation. I think they operate with very little regard for providing accurate information about provenance, or for ethical acquisitions of things."

"Gross," Yan said. "The more I think about it the worse it gets."

"You don't bear any responsibility in this," Pellon said.

"Of course not, I was a bunch of 'genetic material' in a test tube at the time. Something can be gross without me having anything to do with it." Despite saying this, Yan still felt somewhat as though she could go for a long shower to try to get rid of the unclean feeling that some part of her had probably been stolen from someone else.

Pellon was quiet for a moment. "Care for any dessert?" He asked.

"Sure," Sylva said.

"As long as it isn't accompanied by any other bombshells about my personal life," Yan said tiredly. "I've been having a lot of things to adjust to recently."

"We can always go back to talking about your upcoming apprenticeship," Pellon said, half joking.

"Literally any other subject would be preferable. I've already told you basically everything I know. There's no point grinding out those details over and over," Yan said.

Pellon stood up and began collecting all the used dishes and piling them back onto the tray their food had come in on.

"Some part of me thinks that having a kitchen in here would be useful," he said, "but I know that just means I would have to spend my own time cooking."

"Why don't you have a kitchen here?" Sylva asked. "It seems like you have all the other parts of a full house."

"Safety, mostly. One of the first things that anyone discovered about space travel is that fire is very, very bad. In a house, the kitchen is where most fires take place, so eliminating that entire danger zone from everyone's cabins makes the ship a whole lot safer," Pellon very patiently explained to Sylva.

"It's just one of those things that seems natural if you grow up on a ship," Yan said.

Pellon finished clearing the dishes away. He pressed another cleverly hidden button on the wall to reveal a small freezer. He pulled out a couple popsicles.

"I pick these up whenever we're in port. Mena doesn't like to stock the ship with 'individual serving frivolities' as he calls them, so these are my personal stash." Pellon handed one to each of the two girls.

"Thanks for sparing some of your cherished ice cream," Yan said, unwrapping the treat.

"Do they serve dessert at the Academy, or is the whole place as acetic as those uniforms they make you wear?" Pellon asked as the three of them ate.

"The food's about the same as you get on the Iron Dreams, in terms of quality. Industrial kitchen and all. They serve way different stuff though."

"Oh really?"

"The Academy pulls from basically every colonized planet, so they try to have a wide range of cuisines, to keep everybody happy," Sylva said.

"Yeah, not just mostly Terlin stuff like we have on the Dreams," Yan agreed. "So coming back to the ship is like getting a whole dose of childhood comfort food."

"Everything around Imperial Center is a massive cultural hodgepodge, to be honest. I don't really think about it that much since I grew up on Emerri, but yeah. This is my first time off planet, actually," Sylva said.

"Well I'm glad that we could provide you with your first off planet experience. Unfortunately you won't be able to have any experiences on other planets while you're with us," Pellon said.

"Oh, don't worry, I know. It's just cool to get to travel in general," Sylva said blithely.

"Do you think you'll be doing a lot of travel in your apprenticeship?" Pellon asked Sylva.

"Oh, pretty unlikely that I'll do a ton. It depends. Uh, how much do you know about, well, the Standardization Doctrine?" Sylva asked.

"I know of it," Pellon said. "But religion was never my strong suit."

"Well this is more of a history thing than a religious thing," Sylva said. "Basically, what my apprenticeship is, I’ll be working with a team that keeps all, hm, theological work somewhat standardized across planets. Basically an approval and review board situation for the doctrine."

"What do you mean by theological work? Like paintings?" Pellon asked.

"So there are different teams for lots of different things, like for example there are teams that translate the worship cantos into the language of various planets, or review translations anyway, and any major theological writings meant for publication need to be approved. Individual art pieces or smaller works, usually that's not worth reviewing unless it makes itself an issue. We're focused on the big stuff. I guess I say we as though I've done any of it before, which I haven't," Sylva laughed.

"That makes sense," Pellon said. "Are you looking forward to it?"

"Oh, yeah, absolutely," Sylva said. "I think it'll be a great way to learn about how different people in the Empire react to the same teachings, and just get fresh perspectives on theology. And it'll be nice to work on stuff that will be seen by millions of people for years and years."

"Sounds exciting," Pellon said, though he didn't sound like it was the most thrilling thing he had heard.

"It is if you're a nerd like me," Sylva said with a smile.

"You are a nerd," Yan agreed, finishing her popsicle.

"Thanks, you too," Sylva said.

"Thank you for dinner and the popsicle," Yan said to Pellon.

"You're very welcome. Will I be seeing you around for bridge shifts?" Pellon asked.

"You'd let me take a bridge shift?" Yan asked, careful to keep her excitement under control.

"Sure, since your cousin has been on her vacation I've been short one navigator. I trust you," Pellon said. "You could hardly be worse than making Aureius and Thome pull a shift and a half each. I did have Aureius train you last time you visited, right?"

"Yeah, and I took that net course you wanted me to take," Yan said.

"Then you should be fine. Come during second shift," Pellon said.

"You'll need to tell Eman that I can't do cargo reorganization for her, then," Yan said.

Pellon laughed. "I'll tell her it was my idea. I don't want to leave you on her bad side. And you can still help her out when we're docked."

"What does she need me for, anyway? It's not like I'm more familiar with the bays than anything else, and like you said, I did actually train in flight stuff."

"Isn't it obvious, Yan?" Sylva asked.

"Isn't what obvious?"

"She wants you on hand to do all the heavy lifting. You know, with the power," Sylva said.

Pellon laughed. "You're probably right, I'm sure that's exactly what she wants. That and just any warm body she can rope into her reorg scheme. The bays have been her pet project for months now, and she's always complaining that she's short staffed."

"I'm sure she’s short staffed. You keep mentioning people who have gone off on vacation," Yan said to Pellon.

"She has the same crew available she always has, the issue is that since this is her pet project, nobody else is particularly invested in it," Pellon admitted. "So everyone feels free to pull staff from the cargo section whenever they need to. There's a general consensus that the only time the cargo bays should be touched is when we're loading and unloading freight, and they should be left well enough alone at all other times."

"Can't say I disagree with that," Yan admitted. "So thanks for trying to get me off that particular team."

"Thank you for being willing to pick up a bridge shift," Pellon said. "Though we'll all have to spend our fair share of time loading and unloading in port."

"That's the natural way of things," Yan said.

"Sorry, this is going to be an ignorant question," Sylva started.

"It's fine, go ahead," Pellon said.

"Why is Yan the most qualified person to pick up a navigation shift? She isn't even here most of the time."

"Ah, well. Navigation in particular requires a lot of math and systems knowledge- we have to send our kids away to university to get that base of knowledge anyway, it's not something that anyone can just pick up. Yan took the required math at the Academy, as well as a navigation specific course I asked her to take on the net. I don't have any backup navigators trained up yet—it's not like I need a wealth of them—there's one in school now, and there's a couple promising kids in the pipe, but Yan was my backup option for a while."

"Did you suggest that I get trained so that I would have a reason to come back here and work for you when I graduated from the Academy?" Yan asked.

"No, but it was a good backup plan," Pellon said with a smile. "Does that explain it, Sylva?"

"Yeah, thanks. It just seems kinda crazy to me that Yan could just pick up a command position on her summer break," Sylva said.

"Maybe so. Here's the thing about trade guild ships, though: there's very little oversight that happens on them. We can have whoever we want, in whatever position we want, so long as we're a certain distance away from all other ships and people. Out in deep space, there's basically no enforcement of anything."

"Isn't that extremely dangerous?" Sylva asked, looking nervous.

"Oh, absolutely. The system relies on no captain being willing to let someone totally unskilled put the lives of their crew, and more importantly, their extremely valuable ship and cargo, at risk. And you do have to have a licensed crew to fly through inhabited space, so that you don't hurt anybody else either."

"That's still crazy," Sylva said.

"There's a lot of stuff that happens on ships that probably seems unimaginable to people who live on planets, I guess. But it's like, every ship is an island, basically," Yan tried to explain, "And we all have our own ways of doing things, and no one ever comes to check if we're doing them the way that someone thinks they should be done."

"It's one of the best things about being a spacer, some of the only real freedoms in the Empire, as long as your ship keeps to its own business," Pellon said.

"I guess." Sylva turned to Yan. "Please don't run us into a black hole when you're navigating the ship, ok? I don't trust you at all."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Yan said wryly.

"It will be fine, I'm sure," Pellon reiterated. "Yan, you can consider getting a bridge shift your graduation present."

"Aw, you're so kind," Yan said, laughing. "Until you mentioned that you probably should've gotten me something, I had forgotten that was something people get."

"Were you expecting me to get you something?" Pellon asked.

"Not in particular," Yan said.

"That's good then." Pellon stretched. "Thank you for coming back to visit this break, Yan. I know you must be busy."

"I won't be busy until I go back. Thank you for letting me bring Sylva along for the ride."

"Yeah, I really appreciate it," Sylva added.

"Not a problem at all. We have plenty of room and it's always nice to get some new faces aboard. Prevents the space life from becoming too tedious," Pellon said with a smile. "It's getting late."

Yan took that as her and Sylva's cue to leave and the pair stood up.

"See you second shift?" Pellon asked.

"You know I'll be there," Yan said.

"Excellent." Pellon stood up to escort them to the door. "Have a nice night, ladies."

"You too," Yan said.

The group parted at the doorway, Yan and Sylva walking off back down the hallway as the door to Pellon's quarters slid shut behind them. The pair walked in silence for a few minutes.

It was late on the ship's time, so the hallway lights were half power and they passed very few other people as they went on their way.

"So, what did you think of Pellon?" Yan asked after a few minutes of walking through the grav section.

"He seemed nice. I don't know if I'll ever get used to ship life, though. The way everyone seems to go about their business seems... chaotic?"

"Yeah, maybe. Pellon runs a pretty tight ship, though. It might just seem crazy because you're not used to ships in general."

"Probably," Sylva said.

"It's hard to explain how life is without growing up part of it. I don't know. Everyone on the ship is family, for the most part, and that's more important than anything else. So you get the most capable person to do whatever job they can, and you trust that everybody else knows what they're doing. It's, uh, very different from being part of a whole planet, or even the Academy."

"Was it hard, when you came to the Academy? To adjust?" Sylva asked.

The two had made it to a set of the elevators that joined the rotating sections of the ship to the non rotating areas. They weren't really elevators, per se, but they were sections adjoined to the ring that were able to move independently. Yan and Sylva entered the elevator.

"Yeah, it wasn't the easiest transition. But like, it would have been hard for anybody. And I think it was a bit easier for me than for the average spacer kid who gets snagged for the Academy. I was already pretty used to being independent, because of, yeah..."

"Oh."

The doors of the elevator closed behind them, and there was the odd feeling of slowly becoming lighter and lighter on the floor. Eventually, they reached the normal microgravity of the ship's interior, a chime sounded, and the 'ceiling' of the elevator slid open. They were able to push off the floor and exit into the ship proper.

"Sorry I'm not much for conversation right now, I'm sorta wiped out," Sylva said as she followed Yan clumsily through the corridors. "It's been a long day."

"You're not wrong about that."

It had been about twenty hours since either of them had slept. Now that the excitement of travel and new faces had ended, both girls felt tiredness crashing down on them.

They continued travelling in near silence until they reached Yan's cabin.

"Bunk sweet bunk," Yan muttered as she keyed open the door. "You got a sleeping bag when we picked up supplies for you, right?"

"Yeah," Sylva said.

"I'm going to set an alarm. If you want, I can wake you up and show you how to get to the showers and dining hall."

"Sounds good," Sylva yawned.

Yan opened one of her drawers and fished around for her pajamas. Sylva began searching around in her belongings for her own pajamas, but gave up and just ended up stripping to her underclothes.

"Please don't leave those floating around. The hamper is over there." Yan pointed out an empty mesh bag attached to one of the walls. Obediently, Sylva gathered her clothes and tucked them away. Yan followed suit after she finished changing.

The sleeping bag that Yan was using had to be unfurled from where it had been tucked into her bottom drawer and attached to one wall, to prevent nighttime drifting. Once it had been set up, Yan ducked into the bathroom area to brush her teeth, a process made somewhat more difficult due to the lack of gravity and proper sinks, but slightly easier due to the fact that Yan could move any stray water around with her mind, without having to chase it down with the vacuum.

Their nighttime routine was familiar, after having lived together at the Academy for several years, and only slightly complicated by the new surroundings. After a while, both Yan and Sylva were in their sleeping arrangements, both securely tucked into sleeping bags.

"Can I turn out the light?" Yan asked.

"Go for it," Sylva replied.

Yan reached a hand out and prodded the panel that controlled the lights, plunging the room into darkness but for a few dim lights marking the workings of various electronics and exits.

"Goodnight," Yan said with a yawn.

"Night," Sylva agreed, rolling over her sleeping bag to face the wall.

Despite the fact that Sylva was still there, Yan felt lonely, drifting in the dark. She tried to tighten her sleeping bag around herself, but it wasn't particularly effective. There was something about being back here, in the room she had inhabited by herself every summer since she was ten, that brought out the reclusive side of her. Yan could act a certain way when she was around people, she could have a personality that her family saw, she could have a personality that her friends or acquaintances at the Academy saw, but this was a place where almost no one else came.

After her mother had died, she had lived with her uncle Maxes, his wife Jalena, and their kids, her younger cousins. She couldn't very well live alone as a six year old. But when she went off to school, the room she had inhabited in her uncle's cabin became taken up by a new baby. The room she had shared with her mother, before her mother had died, had been given to a distant family member who wanted to have a cabin of her own. Yan still needed a space for when she came back on her breaks, and so an out of the way, unused room in the no grav section had been found for her. It didn't seem as though it was unreasonable to expect a ten or eleven year old to have a room by herself, away from the more inhabited parts of the ship. After all, it wasn't like she would have to cook or keep house, or really do much other than sleep there, since meals were communal, and she would be spending most of her days either working or relaxing with her cousins. Yan accepted it as a perfectly equitable living arrangement. It even made some of her cousins jealous, that she got so much freedom.

But it was lonely.

Any person that Yan wanted to hang out with would invite her over to their room, since most people lived in the rotating rings. Although the novelty of microgravity is fun for non spacers and children, the comfort of sitting on real furniture and the convenience of most things in the gravity section won out.

In fact, Sylva was the first person who had ever stayed the night. Even a couple years ago, when Yan had had a summer romance with a visiting repair tech, Yan had stayed in her guest room most of the time. It seemed like her life took place outside of this place, where she was alone, but this place represented the entirety of her life on the Iron Dreams.

But now Sylva was here, and this was probably the last time Yan would ever come back to the Dreams. She would never have a summer break from the Academy again, she would never have nothing to do with herself other than to come visit her family. There would be the apprenticeship, and then after that there would be work. That future was set out, and it had its claws in her. Yan couldn't see a path that would lead her back to the Iron Dreams, at least one not filled with disaster.

Beneath the lighting panel, Yan’s finger traced deep but thin scratches where she had carved her name, years ago. I was here, she thought.

Maybe her ten year old, twelve year old, fourteen year old self would have a ghost wandering the ship forever: in the places where she'd carved her name, in the places where she'd sat and looked at the stars, in the places where she'd worked and eaten and slept. It was hard to think that this period of her life was over, that she could never go back, but that was how it was.

Yan whispered a prayer into the dark, quiet enough that Sylva wouldn't hear.

"Lord, all creation comes from you and returns to its source at the determined time. Let the days flow like an untroubled river to the sea, so that from the rising of the stars to their setting we can know the beauty of your creation and the abundance of life."