This Isn’t My World, And It Pisses Me Off

Chapter 13

“Warning. Hole.”

Ikari read the sign placed just before a hole that seemed to go down for miles. “Was that me?” He asked Madyline.

“Well, unless someone else here has managed to become strong enough to punch an anvil to smithereens.” She smiled awkwardly.

Ikari let out a breath, walking around the hole and into Eliza’s shop. “Excuse me.” Ikari called out, looking around for the redhead.

“You!” Ikari turned and saw a hammer flying towards him. Time suddenly slowed down to the point it barely looked as though it was moving.

“Oh, this must be my Reaction Speed enchantment.” He realised, moving his arm and plucking the hammer out of the air.

Once he was out of danger, time returned to normal and he looked to where the hammer came from. Brown eyes blinked in surprise, and Eliza looked to her failed attack. She stared at Ikari, and slowly reached her hand down towards work tool belt.

“WILL YOU STOP CHUCKING HAMMERS AT ME!” Ikari exclaimed, bouncing the hammer off the ground.

“Fine.” She complained, putting the hammer back in her belt and met Ikari’s eyes. “But I’m still mad at you.”

“Is it because I broke your anvil?” Ikari hazarded a guess.

Eliza looked as though she was going to go into a rant, but it got shot down due to Ikari getting it right on the first try. “Yes. Of course it is. I’m a blacksmith. I can’t exactly make a living without my proper tools.”

“I thought I gave you enough money to buy another?” Ikari asked, reaching into his pocket in case she needed some more.

“You gave me more than enough,” Eliza held out a hand, stopping Ikari from giving her any more. “But how long do you think it takes to get an anvil?”

“Ah.” There was the problem.

“Exactly.” She looked around her shop, a fair amount of armour and weapons hanging on the walls. “I can probably last till it arrives, but I’ll be backed up on orders when it does.”

Ikari felt rather guilty about the situation he put her through, and realised he should probably remedy it. “Madyline.” He turned to the maid, who had remained silent while watching the interaction. “Can I have the Skill Speed potion please?”

“Yes, right away Hero Sir.” She replied, not hearing the smack of Ikari’s palm on his face at the lack of a name.

Ikari was handed a potion bottle containing a bright green liquid. He popped the cork and took a sniff. “Huh, minty.” He looked around for a moment and saw a tankard hanging on one of the racks. He poured almost all of the potion into it, save for a small drop left in the glass bottle.

“Replenish.” He said, watching as the potion filled back up. He nodded, putting the cork back in and handing the bottle to Madyline.

He turned, holding out the tankard to Eliza. She looked bewildered at the actions that just occured. “Uhhh…” She let out, taking the tankard and sniffing. “Thank you?”

“It’s a potion that will speed up your skills.” He scratched the back of his head. “Or at least, I think the description was something like that.”

“Oh.” Eliza blinked, taking a sniff of the potion. “I can’t check its stats.” She wondered.

“Huh.” Ikari brought a hand to his chin. “Maybe cause it’s not in a proper container? No that wouldn’t be it.” If that were true he wouldn’t have been able to check the effectiveness of the Enchanting Boost shot potions.

“It might be the metal.” Madyline suggested. The two turned to look at her in surprise. “Ah! A-At least that’s what I think.”

“Makes sense.” Ikari nodded, turning to Eliza to see if she agreed. The smith nodded as well, placing the tankard on a counter.

“So, why are you here anyway?” She asked, eyeing Ikari with suspicion.

“Uh, I would like to buy a sword and a mace.” Ikari explained, smiling awkwardly.

“Are you just going to buy the cheapest one and then make them ridiculously better?” Eliza asked. The unwilling hero stuttered, being caught out in his plan. “Thought so.”

“How about you give me some of that, BB stuff or whatever it was you used to make your clothes better, and let me improve them.” Eliza offered. “They’ll be a Hell of a lot stronger if I do it. I’ve actually put points into Smithing.”

“Don’t know what that means but thank you.” Ikari nodded, turning to Madyline as she fished out the Blacksmith’s Brew. “Can we just pick whichever we want?” He asked, looking around at the many items for sale.

“As long as it’s not the most expensive one here, I don’t mind.” Eliza told him, walking outside to prepare herself.

Ikari looked around at the swords, wondering which, if any, he should take. “Not like I know how to use one any way.” He wanted one just in case he wasn’t able to punch the Demon King to death. A selfish part of his mind told him to get the best looking one.

“What do you think, Reinigen-chan?” He turned to ask, before stopping and seeing the maid looking completely lost. “Why aren’t you picking a mace?”

“I-I have never had the privilege of buying something just because I want it. A-And I don’t even know how to wield a mace!” She exclaimed.

“Well, duh. I mean I don’t know how to use a sword.” He responded, idly picking up a simple iron one. It had a leather handle and iron crossguard. Ikari didn’t have a problem with this sword, so he figured he would just get that one.

“B-But, but, if neither of us know how to fight, how are we going to beat the Demon King?” Madyline asked, hands clutched together in fear.

“Simple.” Ikari responded, putting the sword in its sheath and walking over. He gently rested a hand on her head as he spoke. “We’re going to break this world in our favour.” He gave the head a quick pat and walked outside to show Eliza which he had chosen.

The maid was left speechless, watching as Ikari left the shop. She held a hand against her heart, believing in Ikari and his ability to beat the Demon King. She gulped and walked around the shop, looking for a mace.

She had a vague idea of what they were, based on some of the weapons that the knights wielded. Though, she wasn’t sure if she should be allowed to buy one- “Oh. That’s pretty.”

Her eyes landed on a mace that’s head was a bright blue. It was elongated, so it didn’t have any spikes, but it was among the rest of the weapons with the same name. Madyline reached up, grabbing the leather handle and heaving it.

It came away rather easily, the maid marvelling at how light it felt. “Maybe it’s master’s ring…” She let out an ‘eep’ and quickly looked around, checking if Ikari had heard her. He didn’t like it when she called him that.

Regardless, she held the weapon out with both hands. “Show Weapon.” She spoke aloud.

“Ice Magic…” She read out. “Huh. I know some ice magic. But, only what they let me learn to cool nobles drinks.” That, added with the pretty colour that very closely matched her eyes, made her all the more willing to choose this weapon.

She heard a commotion from outside and quickly ran out, just in case Ikari accidentally accidentally created another hole to the other side of the world.

She exited the shop, holding her weapon carefully, and blanked at what she saw. Eliza was staring at the sword and screaming, though it didn’t seem to be in anger. Rather she was screaming in astonishment at a screen before her, while Ikari held his sword awkwardly to the side.

Her brown eyes seemed to shine with a previously unseen energy. She turned to the side, grabbing Ikari by his head and planting a kiss straight on his lips. She let go and returned to the screen before her, quickly moving her hands and selecting items that Madyline couldn’t see.

Meanwhile, Ikari, the man she had seen stand up to the noble and had enough armour a strike from a giant probably wouldn’t hurt, wobbled as he blinked in confusion. A red blush showed on his cheeks, and his eyes seemed to be as far away from Larune as possible.

Madyline couldn’t help but let out a snigger. The sound caught their attention, Eliza’s eyes immediately going to the mace in the maids hands. She quickly ran over. “This is the one you want upgraded, yeah?” Her expression seemed much different than before, one that was eager to help.

“Um, yes.” The mace was immediately snatched out of her hands, and brought over to the same bench that Ikari improved his clothes at.

She walked over to Ikari, who still appeared shell-shocked form what happened. “Do you have a crush on Eliza, Hero Sir?” Madyline asked, a small smile appearing on her face. The question seemed to snap Ikari out of it.

“N-No! But kissing someone out of the blue would surprise anyone!” He exclaimed, his face still red. Madyline simply giggled, before looking down at his improved sword. “Oh, why is it red?”

“Hm?” He looked down at it, seeing the red tint that covered one side of the blade. “Honestly, no idea. This was just how she handed it to me. Maybe cause I cut my finger on it earlier?” He recalled the incident, surprised he was hurt by it.

“I think your Damage Resist enchantment only works on outside forces.” Madyline explained. “If you had that enchantment, but needed to spill some of your blood for a summon, it might not be possible.”

Ikari was about to ask what the Hell summons were, when he was interrupted by a cry of success from Eliza. She immediately ran over to Madyline, handing the mace to her and waiting with an expectant expression.

Madyline realised what was expected and turned herself so that she could show Eliza the results. “Show Weapon.”

“YES!!!” Eliza pumped her fists into the air, while Madyline’s jaw dropped. She had no idea what that number even meant, only that it was absolutely ridiculously high.

“Hey Eisen! You better make some room, cause there’s a brand new smith ready to forge!” Eliza exclaimed, jabbing a finger at the sky and doing a small dance in celebration.

Ikari watched on with humour as Madyline closed her screen, her blue eyes still wide. “Looks like we both got a broken item.” He smiled. “Now, let’s go see,” His red eyes hardened, staring off into the distance. “If we can’t break the Demon King.”