The royal death claws walked down the spiral staircase with weapons drawn. Margaret had her sword and Mayah had Frozettos in each hand. Grax led the way in stealthy quiet and they reached a landing that faced a giant culvert pipe. The dank smell made them all wrinkle their noses. The few inches of fetid water that lay on the ground was scummy and dirty. It looked exactly like the entrance to a sewer should look. Filthy, disgusting and not at all appealing.

“See Margaret,” Grax hisspered and pointed with a katana.

“It can’t be—” Whatever she was about to say was cut off as Grax held a katana an inch from her nose. She stepped back.

“Margaret, think about your next words very carefully.” His eyes were slits that sparkled in the darkness.

Mayah using a finger, pushed the katana away from Margaret’s face. Then she hissed in pain as the enchantment freezer-burned her fingers.

So glad that doesn’t take HP when we’re in a party.

“She gets it, now,” Mayah said to Grax in a hushed tone and sucked on her fingertips “Don’t you Mags?” She studied the ranger for a sign. Margaret nodded an affirmative.

“Okay. Now let’s see what we’re going to have to fight.”

They entered the culvert as it rose a few degrees upward. The water began to flow past their feet and they couldn’t avoid making splashes.

“I’m really gonna need some boots if she keeps talking about dark places where poo goes.”

“Shhh...” Mayah urged the cat. Suddenly the pipe turned ninety degrees to the right and they were in a large chamber. It had weirdly formed nodules on the floors, walls, and ceilings as far as they could see. They could see light coming from the exit across the chamber some fifty yards away.

“So we’re all in agreement that something nasty is in here right?” Mayah asked. Mayah and Grax stared at Margaret who was brushing dirt off of her clothes not paying attention.

“What? Yes… Something dangerous because we’re in a dungeon. Yes. Got it. Paranoia on.”

“Well since you’re so ready. You go first.” Grax snapped.

“Agreed,” Mayah chimed in.

Margaret stiffened up quickly becoming agitated. She pointed at herself. “Why me?”

“Underground pipes are now your domain. All in agreement say aye.”

“Aye” Grax said without missing a beat.

“Just to make it official we’ll hold a vote. This vote will determine whether Margaret Crenshaw will now be the point man of any expedition or actions in any underground pipes, culverts, vessels, canals, aqueducts, conduits, or canals. Especially those dealing with the wastewater and sewer drainage and any other icky dark mucky places she keeps mentioning. All in agreement, Aye.”

“Aye” Grax said again.

All a flustered Margaret could get out was, “Now wait minute—”

Mayah stared her in the eyes and said, “This council of the royal death claws administrative branch has concluded.”

“I didn’t even get a chance to speak.” Margaret moped.

“Of course not. This isn’t a real board meeting but we did vote you into taking point.”

“We sure did.” Grax mewled happily.

Margaret kicked one of the stony looking nodules in anger. She was surprised as it offered very little resistance and squished easily beneath her feet. Off-balance she slid into a half split with her back on the ground.

“Mags!” you okay?” Grax rushed to help her up.

“Fine, I’m fine.” she got herself up with a small helping of help from Grax. She tried flinging the mud off of her. When she looked up she saw Grax with his katanas drawn and Mayah holding two stilettos staring at her intently.

They weren't staring at Margaret, but the corpulent, hand-sized maggot crawling on her shoulder unseen by Margaret. It rippled up her arm in undulating waves. They were trying not to spook her or the maggot, so they stared intently and then started to slowly move towards her. Margaret, thinking they were stalking her, became apprehensive. So when Grax tried to flick the Maggot off with his sword she ducked.

“What?” she asked and as she turned to look behind her she felt a pain in her neck. She squealed and batted at her neck and found the slimy wriggling thing with grasping fingers and pulled it off of her shoulder and threw it as hard as she could. It hit the ground about twenty feet away and bounced a little further

Your party has been attacked

Snapfly Larva

Level 4

-25HP Squeezed

-52HP Thrown

23/100HP

“Geebz,” Margaret hissed. “I have a bleeding debuff now.”

“That looked painful.”

Margaret rubbed her neck. “It was.”

There was a loud snapping noise and the Larvae smacked wetly into Grax’s face with the force of a fastball. It fell to the moist, scummy floor with a plop and rolled a few feet. It then began wriggling towards Grax who was holding his nose with both paws, eyes closed in pain. Mayah stepped on the Larva and along with the gooey guts that burst forth came a nauseating smell. Mayah covered her nose and heaved as the smell triggered her gag reflex.

DING!!!

Enemy defeated

Snapfly Larva

Level: 4

XP: 9

94XP till next level

“Oh my gawd!” she said in a pretty fair imitation of Margaret doing her necromancer schtick.

Margaret was past green as she dry heaved. Her tongue popped out with every heave as she turned away from everyone preparing to evacuate her stomach. Grax stood oddly still with a hand over his mouth and nose as he tried to keep his lunch down. His cheeks puffed up every once and awhile and the expression on his face was pinched and he looked just short of sobbing.

“Why, huurk, would they make this?” Grax said through the hand covering his nose and mouth.

Mayah tied her handkerchief across her face, but her watering eyes said it didn’t help much.

A slithery pop came from another nodule and another larva popped out. Mayah watched as it oriented itself and then touched it’s two ends together. It was standing up like a donut on edge. Mayah could tell the larva was building up tension the way the body convulsed. When the ends released their tension, they slapped the ground making a snapping sound. The force flung the larva through the air, rapidly towards the group. Mayah and Margaret sidestepped the larva and Grax sliced it in half before it hit the ground. The smell increased in potency.

Like a chain reaction more nodules began to burst, larvae started falling from the walls and ceiling. The floor began wriggling as they all began to get ready to jump.

“Nope! Nope, nope nope, nope nope nope….” Mayah uttered rapidly while shaking her head. “Kill it with fire!!!”

She began tossing out Over (F) and Acid (G) grenades. Grax and Margaret joined in. A few flaming larvae jumped at them and were put down almost instantly. Damage notifications began going off. In waves. The smoke in the room started descending from the ceiling and making the death claws cough and hack. Mayah looked back the direction they came from.

Ding!!!

Level Up

Pretty Princess Cuddle Fluff

Level 21

8651XP till next level

You have 2 unassigned Stat points and 4 unassigned Attribute points to assign.

Smoke is filling up that tunnel too.

“C’mon guys we gotta move,” she yelled to her grenade tossing compadres.

“Right behind you!” Grax coughed.

Mayah ran towards the exit and almost slipped on the slick scummy floor. She wheeled her arms and tried to regain her balance. Grax almost did the same as he followed her. He slid into Mayah and they balanced against each other.

“Shaz that’s slippery!”

“Well at least we know Margaret’s not just clumsy.”

“Hush it cat!” Margaret railed.

Vergie and the rötten bolted to the other side of the room digging in her claws for traction and waited for them to cross.

Everyone else made their way into the burning sea of nodules stomping onto any larvae in their path and trying not to fall. Their boots becoming slicker and gorier with every step adding lubrication to the already slick floor.

“Pick up a few of the larvae if you can,” Mayah ordered.

“Why?” Margaret yelled squeamishly.

“Ingredients. Duh!!!” Grax answered.

“I don’t wanna.”

“Do it anyway, Mags. Think about the gold.” Mayah admonished as she bent to scoop up two larvae as she ran and stuffed them directly into her bag.

Margaret reached down trying to pick up a wriggling larva. She was using two fingers as daintily as she could like a little kid afraid of worms. It was at this moment that Margaret heaved with a loud a sickened moan, her tongue stuck out between her wide-open teeth like she was to hurl and a larva flew up landing headfirst in her mouth.

Margaret’s first thought was, Huh? That thought only lasted until the larvae bit her tongue and she screamed and shook her face around trying to dislodge the bug.

The larvae had other ideas and began to eat her tongue in earnest. She dropped her sword and pulled on it with both hands. She immediately stopped pulling because the pain spiked to a level that was worse than the biting. She also squeezed the larvae so hard that its inside juices pushed out of the larvae like a garbage-juice flavored gusher and she got a throat full of the stinky fluids that were strewn about the ground. Needless to say, they tasted worse than they smelled.

Her stomach spasmed and everything inside of her was propelled out of her esophagus. The larvae acted as a dam in the flow and her vomit sprayed every which way and rained down on the floor and Grax who was preparing to help the crazed necro-ranger.

Covered in vomit Grax froze. Then he turned and walked away from Margaret.

“Grax!” Mayah yelled.

Grax wiped his face and eyes clean from the vomit. “It’s one larva she can get it herself—or not.”

Margaret struggled in her own filth and the sludge of dead larvae and slipped again. She fell down hard and her teeth clicked shut cutting the larvae in half. She was rewarded with the foul juices and the not-so-tasty-and-squishy innards of the larva. As she hurled again, the now dead half of a larvae was washed from her mouth on the flow of stomach acid and bile. She retched a few more times before Mayah reached her side and picked her up.

“Move it Mags!”

Margaret nodded and retched as she grabbed her sword and scrambled across the slippery floor towards the exit.

The grenades didn’t work so good on the ceiling, so larvae were still raining down upon them as they ran. They were ignored as they dashed to get clear of the cavern, picking up and storing as many of the larvae as they could. When they were free of the downpour of larva they checked each other for larvae and smashed them on the ground or collected them. They tossed as many grenades into the cavern as possible to make sure they wouldn’t be followed. As the smoke increased to an intolerable level they turned to walk away.

“That was some nice XP for tossing grenades. I would farm this place. We would get diminishing returns pretty quickly but there’s not a lot of work involved.”

Mayah added 2 points to Mana and intelligence and 1 point to constitution and endurance.

“Yeah, I count 573 larvae. Got me a good chunk of the way to level 22. Just need another 3,494XP”

“I’m level 20 so, not too far behind you. I would’ve been ahead still, but you know, you killed me.”

“Are we going there again?”

“Nah.”

Mayah huffed and turned to Margaret. “How you doing Mags?”

Margaret just nodded and heaved again.

“C’mon Mags let us see your tongue,” Mayah asked out of concern.

Margaret shook her head no. Mayah pulled up short.

“Mags… Say something.”

Margaret just vehemently shook her head no.

Mayah pulled out Happiness and leveled it at Margaret. “You either speak I smite you for being a doppelganger.”

Margaret’s shoulders drooped in defeat.

“I don wan doo.” she muttered under her breath.

Mayah and Grax shared a wide-eyed look between themselves.

“Mags? Do you have any debuffs?” Mayah inquired.

Margaret held up two fingers.

“And what are they?”

“Beeeding.”

“And…?” Grax urged her on with a hurry-up motion.

“Bidden dung zebuff.”

Grax snickered and caught the laughter with a snort. That caused Mayah to snort and then snickers poured out. They both began to laugh at the elderly archer in earnest. Full belly laughs and tears, chortles, snorts, and guffaws.

“Larva got you tongue, Mags?” Grax asked through a spasm of laughter. This made Mayah laugh in a high-pitched tee-hee-hee that didn’t let her breathe at all. Tears were streaming down her face as she pounded on the stone wall with a fist

“Vine Labf it up” Margaret mumbled.

“We already are,” Grax chortled while wiping a tear.

Margaret just stood there with her hands on her hips, glaring at Mayah and the cat.

Mayah struggled to catch her breath and said, “six-all, Deuce!” and started cracking up again. Grax just pointed a finger at Margaret and laughed even harder. Mayah tried to shush the cat and led him towards the light at the end of the tunnel. She waved for Margaret to follow as they tried to get their laughter to subside. Vergie was sitting there staring at the outside.

Dim light began to filter into the darkness. They strode forward and beheld a land of fen, fog, and flora straight out of a horror movie.

“zee id’s nod a zewer!” Margaret pointed out towards the barely visible landscape.

“Why do you always say that?” an exasperated Grax asked his laughter stopping suddenly. His hands were clenched on the hilts of his katanas while he bit his knuckles. The words that he wanted to say escaping as a pained growl of exasperation and frustration.

He spun to Mayah. “We just said, don’t say sewers, didn’t we? Five minutes later she says it again. I’m trying not to get mad here Fluff but she’s really making it hard.”

“You could just let it go?” Mayah said her laughter still bubbling up.

“But then I wouldn't be prepared for the sewers.” He turned back to Margaret. “You best believe they’re coming. And when they do I need you to know it’s all your fault.”

“Leave her alone Grax. We have bigger fish to fry.”

Grax growled sullenly and turned to look at the dungeon as Mayah was doing. Their vistas, blocked by fog as it was, was filled with knee-high plants that she would call lush if not for the grey tinge to their color. Puddles and pools of varying sizes lay across their view. Mayah thought that she would even call some of them small ponds. The fog moved about in bands making it harder to see the further she peered. Her Shadow eye didn’t let her see through the fog at all.

“Okay, gang everybody has grenades? She didn’t wait for an answer because she knew they did. “Objective one, go that way, kill things, and win the dungeon. Objective two, find a clean source of water so I can wash the zombie and snapfly larvae stink off of my clothes.”

“Dey’re nod zombies,” Margaret mumbled softly.

“Did’ja say something, Margaret?” Mayah shot Margaret a look that made sure she knew that the question was rhetorical. Margaret dropped her head in shame.

“Now, third objective. Collect drops so I can make awesome gear for us. Well that should actually be number two, but I can still smell all this ick on me.”

“I’m ready to smash this,” Grax champed at the bit.

“Last thing. Water is weak to fire. If worse comes to worse, we kill it with fire!”

Mayah reached over to give Vergie a scratch. “You just growl and let us know when something happens. Then she gave pets to the rötten saying, “You two stay in the pouch if these things are tougher than the weesps you’ll be outclassed. But we’ll go past vuurmin fields and see if we can get you some more levels.”

The rötten chittered and sulked a bit.

“I promise we’ll get you caught up.” She stood and nodded to her teammates “let’s do this.”

They walked forward through the bog like terrain. Sucking and squelching sounds could be heard as they lifted and dropped their feet. The drifting fog wrapped around their ankles and made the grasses wet and slippery. It slapped against their legs in a moist susurration of noise. The fog literally dampened the sound making it hard to hear any noises that might be approaching unless the noisemaker was being very loud.

Yeah, that’s not how that would work at all. Way too easy.

Grax sheathed his swords and dropped to all fours, favoring stealth and agility over firepower in this moment. Mayah was actually a bit jealous because the ground had a lot of slimy patches that splorched and splattered when she stepped in them. The tread on her boots was also picking up most of the mud she was stepping on and it felt like she was wearing two-inch slippery platform boots.

Margaret’s boots were also making wet noises against the terrain. but her moccasins looked more like they were absorbing the mud than anything else. They were also still coated with liberal amounts of larvae guts.

Mayah dropped back to the necro-ranger and said, “How are your boots holding up?”

“Dey’re nod.” she lifted a foot and shook it. Mayah saw the leather flop around like a wet sock. And then grimaced as water started to dribble from the toe.

“Well, that sucks. We’ll see if we can fix you up tonight. Throw a couple of vuurm out and let them range around us. Margaret nodded and tossed out a crystal. Six vuurm tumbled out and into reality and they began to crawl out in all directions.

There was a loud “MROW!!!” and Grax quickly came back towards them.

“You did that on purpose.”

“Did I? I don’d dink I did.” Margaret said innocently.

“I thought we had a truce.?”

“I didn’d hut you did I?” She asked her clumsy voice full of concern and sarcasm

“Well, no but you meant to scare me.”

“I apowogize.” She batted her eyelids at Grax.

“They were on your map, Grax. Same as mine.” Mayah settled the matter. “Seven-six Mags”

“Really Fluff?”

“She got you bro. I heard you scream over here.”

A loud snap traveled through the air accompanied shortly thereafter by a damage notification ding causing everyone to get ready for battle. All of them activated their Sheild (F) ribbons and spread out so they weren’t all in a clump. Margaret nocked an arrow, Grax pulled out his katana

“What was that Mags?”

“ZnapFly.”

Mayah checked the logs and saw Snapfly.

“How much damage?” Grax asked

“12DP and then 76DP” Mayah answered for Mags.

“Did you see it?”

Margaret shook her head no.

“I’m guessing there are branches on your skill trees you could use for something like this?”

Margaret looked away guiltily.

“You haven’t bought any branches on that skill tree yet, have you?”

Margaret shamefully looked even further away. Mayah just stared at her.

Margaret caved under the pressure of the glare. “Okay pine. I ged id.”

Then there was another snap and ding. And then another and another until the snaps sounded like firecrackers going off. Margaret's dolls were dropping off of the map every five seconds.

“What are you waiting for?” Mayah yelled

“Whad do I do?” Margaret fumbled anxiously.

“Kill it with fire!!!” Mayah screamed at her.

Margaret jumped at Mayah’s volume and then got her remaining vuurm to spit their fireballs into their surroundings. They fireballs caused Grax and Mayah to jump and dodge a few times as they spun to deliver death by fire. A hand-sized insect fell smoking to the ground by their feet. It flapped the only wing it had left and righted itself on its feet and began to crawl towards Grax.

Mayah attempted to step on it but it made that snap noise and was propelled towards Grax like a bullet and her stomp missed. It flew true and landed on his thigh where it latched on with its sharp, pointy legs and made the snapping noise again. Grax jumped at the pain.

“Aiiii-eeesh… that flarfing hurts.” Grax knocked the bug off and stepped on it before it could do any more damage.

Ding!!!

You Party has defeated

Snapfly x23

Level: 7

XP: 322 (14 x23)

3172XP till next level

The jagged protrusions on its abdomen had slapped into Grax’s thigh and made tiny prick marks in his leggings.

“You bleeding?”

“No. Thanks to my armor. But that thing packs a punch. Felt like someone stabbed me.”

“Snap flies, Lovely.” Her voice deepened and became guttural. “Burn everything!”

As soon as she said it she could hear the buzz of wings floating through the area. She grabbed her Storage Wand and four sheets of Over (F) runes and four sheets of Acid (D) runes, activated them and tossed them into the buzzing opening to the runiverse at the tip of her wand. As she stopped the flow of mana a token popped out. She passed it to Grax who put it into a delivery parcel.

“High or low, princess?”

“About 20 feet high. Should give us some nice coverage,” she said making a second crystal.

Got it.”

Mayah tossed the second crystal to Grax. “About ten feet high right after the first one peters out.

“Whad zould I do?” Margaret asked.

“Kill it with fire!” Grax and Mayah said simultaneously.

“Oh.”

They watched as Margaret’s dolls on their left were attacked and the loud snapping firecracker sounds came from that direction.

“Here they come.” Grax wound up ready to pitch the grenade into the fray. As soon as he saw the first flying bug he threw. The grenade traveled up and exploded in a green fiery ball that was 6 feet in diameter. As it blazed a disc of green steamy mist spread outward in a disc about 20 feet across.

The explosion displaced the fog and they could see the swarm of snapflies thick and gray flying towards them. Vergie roared and backed away. The snap flies veered away from her and the rötten and angled towards the paladins The heat burned the snap flies in its range into ash and curled the wings of the next closest. Then the hot Acid (D) began to fall like green sticky rain. For a moment they flew on dipping under the weight of the wetness undeterred then holes formed in wings and they began to plummet into the puddles of green death on the ground. Their HP fell faster than their brethren.

They continued crawling towards the paladins as legs and wings began melting and with their last-ditch efforts, they snapped their abdomens and flew through the air. The paladins batted as many as they could away and then Mayah threw a 10xAcid (D) grenade up above their head and the bugs melted under the onslaught.

DING!!!

You Party has defeated

Snapfly x33

Level: 7

XP: 462 (14 x33)

2710XP till next level

“Eww, they look like little flying face-huggers with spiked clubs attached to their butts.” Grax

“There were more of them this time and I have a feeling there will be more of these swarms.” Mayah looked around pensively. “We should keep moving.”

“Wid way?” Margaret said slowly trying to enunciate and failing miserably.

“Did way.” Grax mimicked Margaret and pointed away through their battleground laughing at her impediment.

“Sthoopid Cat!”

“Seven-All?” Grax looked to Mayah

“I’ll allow it this time. But I’m the scorekeeper okay?”

“You got it, boss.”

“Seven-All.” Mayah and Grax fist bumped.

“Sthoopid kids!”

“You say something Mags?”

Margaret just looked away from them. Grax held in his laughter.

“What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”

Margaret glared at Grax with a fury never seen on her face before.

“Eight-Seven, Grax.”

Margaret turned her scorn towards Mayah. Mayah just shrugged it off.

“I’m just the scorekeeper.” She turned and walked past the scene of the ashen insect firebombing while picking up snapfly carcasses. Her eyes were alert for any enemies. Her right hand curled around a Spike (W) covered frozetto and a 10x Over (F) grenade in her left. Grax and Vergie followed behind her silently padding on cat feet. Margaret sulked along behind them with her sword in hand.

After 40 yards or so Mayah asked, “Why am I on point? Dolls, Mags. That’s what we collect them for.”

Margaret snapped out of her dejected state and quickly fumbled with her bag and pulled out ten vuurms and they scurried ahead of the party.

“You got your head back in the game, Mags?”

Margaret nodded.

“Okay, let’s go get this loot.”

Three things happened at once. First Mayah began to spin around to keep walking forward. Second Vergie growled as something got her attention. Third Mayah finished her turn just in time to see something pink slam into her face.

She was knocked onto her back dropping her frozetto with a flash of stars and then promptly dragged across the ground and felt something clamp down on her waist like a vise. Before she could react, she was viciously shaken like a rag doll. Her legs banged against the ground and each other and as dazed as she was she heard a deep snarling growl. That was when she realized she couldn’t breathe.

On pure instinct, Mayah struggled. She tried to move her arms and found her right hand stuck to her side. Her left hand was about six inches in front of her face stuck to something soft and slimy. She couldn’t move the hand to peel the stickiness off of her face. So, she did the next best thing.

This is gonna hurt!

She activated the Over (F) grenade and in a matter of seconds she was a sticky smoking lump sitting on the ground in a daze. Grax, Margaret and Vergie were finishing off whatever had grabbed her. And she saw the final notification.

DING!!!

You Party has defeated

P’Bullfrog

Level: 17

XP: 57

2653XP till next level

As she scrolled through her notifications she saw a dazed debuff ticking down its last 20 seconds. She had taken first damage from the tongue strike for 112DP, the bite for 33DP, and shaking damage 78DP, for a grand total of 223DP after her fight with the Larvae she was down to 1321HP.

She was drawn from her study by a vicious shaking and then being smashed into a familiar hug where it was hard to breathe.

“Mags.” Mayah groaned into the ranger’s bosom.

“Dank gawd’oo are alride.” Margaret cried.

“Mags!” Mayah said with a bit more force pushing her face out of Margaret’s chest and taking a deep breath. “Let me breathe, lady.”

“Sowwy, deah.”

Mayah patted her shoulder. “It’s okay.” She looked over at their felled enemy she couldn’t see much.

“What happened?” Mayah asked Grax.

“Well you turned around at the same time we saw that thing. And then it pulled you into its mouth—with its tongue. Happened so fast it looked like you were standing there and then your legs were shaking in its mouth. It’s some weird cross between a bullfrog and a pit bull. Scariest thing I’ve seen in a while.”

“You should’ve seen it from the inside.”

“Yeah, no. I’m okay.” Grax shook his head. “Good news is you don’t smell any worse.”

Mayah sniffed her hand and pulled her hand away from her face. “Why does this dungeon stink so bad?”

“Ask Mags.”

All eyes fell on Mags and she said, “Wud! Id’s nod a sthewer!”

Grax groaned with rage. “WHY??? Why does she keep doing it?”

“Sthorry. I thoughd dad’s wud you meand.”

“Anyway, let me take a look at this thing before we put it away.” She stood up and walked over to the beast as it lay on its side. It’s head, shoulders and front legs all looked canine. It had fine brindled fur in shades of grey and green all over it except for its back and hindquarters. It’s back was covered in what looked like pebbly growths that made it look like a lichen-covered rock. That was probably how it got so close. Now that she knew what to look for it wouldn’t happen again.

Its back half was decidedly amphibian. It had a frog’s legs and large webbed feet. As she looked at it head-on, she saw some major differences in the dog half. It had a dog’s mouth if the mouth was widened to a frogs proportions and the teeth were removed.

“No wonder I fit into its mouth,” Mayah muttered to herself with a shudder.

She noticed it had like a dog’s nose though it was a bit wider than a normal canids. Its ears were shaped like dog’s ear but had skin covering the opening to the eardrum. They were placed high on the head but looked like they could be folded back flat when hiding ...or swimming? Its soft pink tongue was lolled out of its mouth onto the ground. It was partially burnt but the slime on the tongue must’ve protected it. She slapped her hand onto the tongue and pulled her hand upwards. The tongue stuck to her hand and stretched like taffy whichever way she pulled. Finally, the stickiness broke and the tongue fell back to the ground.

Mayah chuckled and said, “That’s the good stuff. Okay, gang, we are actively hunting these things. We want all of the ones we can get.”

“Why?”

“Viscoelastic saliva,” Mayah said leaving everyone else perplexed. She saw the perplexed look on their faces and added, “Basically sticky stuff for traps and bombs but I’ll explain later. Just know that I want as many of these things as possible.” She returned to studying the creature without waiting for anyone to answer her.

Grax just shrugged and kept his eyes peeled for any danger. Margaret followed suit. Mayah finally scooped it up into a crystal with her storage wand and skipped over to her party members.

“Well don’t you look happy, Princess.”

“I do, don’t I? Now Mags, you see that stony patch by that puddle?”

“Yeth?”

“Put an arrow in it, please. I don’t like the way it’s looking at us.”

Margaret looked and couldn’t see anything different about it at all. But she knew better than to doubt Mayah at this point. She sheathed her sword, nocked an arrow, and stared at the rock seeing nothing. She activated Achilles heel and saw the barest glimmer of blue. It startled her and she and let go of her arrow and it flew a little higher than the blue and hit the rock in the top. With a loud yip, another P’bullfrog jumped twenty feet to the side and rolled in the grass.

It righted itself and slapped its tongue onto its back and dragged the arrow out of its flesh. And spit it out.

You Party has attacked

P’Bullfrog

Level: 17

-23HP Arrow

514/537HP

“Okay, Grax that one is yours. I’ll back you up if you need it. Mags see that pebbly rock over there?”

Mags nodded

“Tag it so it breaks stealth.” She turned to Vergie. “That one is all yours, girl. If you can, get Riker and Deanna close enough to get a bite so they can get some XP, okay?”

Vergie chuffed and ran off after the p’bullfrog that Margaret had just tagged.

“Okay, Mags we’re going to walk ahead while these battles are going on. We’re gonna keep an ear and eye out for any swarms. Got it?”

Margaret nodded.

Grax just barely dodged a tongue and slashed at it. The soft tongue just folded around the katana and jerked it out of Grax’s hand.

“Hey!” he yelled at the frog. “Gimme that back.”

He needn’t have worried because the p’bullfrog tried to spit it out, but it was frozen to its tongue. The DOT from the Spike (W) runes on the katana was inching across its body face first.

“Take that brain freeze!” Grax cheered as he began hacking it with his other katana.

The p’bullfrog sat there in a daze. Mayah facepalmed.

“Amphibians are cold-blooded.” she yelled, “Use ice on them.” She turned to Margaret. “Spike (W) grenades for the next arrow.”

Margaret with her arrow out and she watched as Grax kicked the p’bullfrog over onto its side and stabbed it through the heart for a critical. He then had to wrench his sword loose from the tongue. Which was coated in frost and rime.

Vergie came back dragging her kill by a leg. Mayah looked at the logs and saw that the rötten did get a hit or two in. Riker's poison did 114 damage over time and gave a paralyzation debuff. She scratched Vergie and then the rötten. You are the most awesome floofs ever. You all get extra snacks tonight.”

All three of the floofs licked their lips happily and Mayah laughed.

Mayah checked her map to see where Margaret’s dolls had gotten off to. They were surrounding them at equidistant points about forty feet out. As she stared she saw motion through the high grass and fog where one vuurm was supposed to be. She scooped up the first frog’s crystal and then walked over to Grax and secured his frog as well.

“Thanks for the enchantments, Fluff.” Grax realized that if he didn’t have those Spike (W) enchantmentss he would have been in for a much tougher fight. Especially if he was down a sword.

“No worries. I still owe you big time for saving the dungeon. I haven’t forgotten.”

They gave an up-down fist bump and turned to see what else was going on.

“So, Margaret,” Grax asked, “what comes next?”

“We go dat way and kill dings.”

“Wash, rinse, repeat.” Mayah chuckled.

“Wash rinse, and repeat,” Grax agreed.

…..

Malcipher sat in his chair at the dinner table set for two. He stared straight ahead across the table. He wore his new clothes and his laundered cloak. He was presently quite uncomfortable. That might have had something to do with the woman sitting on his lap stroking his face and making cooing noises.

“I just love this new outfit on you,” Zhīzhū purred. “The silk is so soft, and your arms are so…” Zhīzhū pulled his face down to make him look at her. “Are you even paying attention to me?”

“Yes,” Malcipher grumbled.

“What was I saying?”

“You were saying you like the feel of my new silk outfit.” He turned his head to face forward again.

So annoying. Like a fly that keeps buzzing in your ear. I want to finish this mission so that I can find the key. He managed to stop his body from tensing but he ground his teeth and could hear them scrape against each other.

“Well you’re no fun,” she slapped his arm

“I didn’t come here for fun.”

“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have any. You have to work out that tension or else the guards are going to find you beating someone to death. Like you almost did today.”

“You had someone following us?”

“That takes too much effort. But I have my ways.” She raised a hand palm up over the table and a mechanical spider descended from the shadows of the ceiling. It had an abdomen the size of a softball and was painted in shadows that blurred its edges with wispy tendrils. The spider landed on Zhīzhū’s hand and stared at her. She pet the mechanical thing like it was alive and it closed its eyes and arched its back against her like a cat being pet.

“This is one of my pets. I can see everything they see. And they are everywhere in Drahtspule.” she hummed.

She flicked a finger at the center of the table and a light shot out of her pets abdomen which quickly grew into an intangible screen that hovered above the table. An image of Malcipher arguing with a random paladin and wiping soup off of his clothes was playing in full detail.

“I’m glad that you kept your oath, but that was a bit too close for comfort. You really need a way to work off that excess energy. Did Caltura send you to any combat trainers?”

“High Alchemist Caltura sent me to many trainers,” he stressed the title in front of Caltura.

“No need to be so serious. We are miles from Gor’wov and Caltura doesn’t care about titles as much as he does results. And I give him results.”

Malcipher let out a disapproving sigh. Zhīzhū pulled his face towards her again and held his eyes.

“How many of those trainers did you like?”

Malcipher let out a bark of laughter. Like? It isn’t a matter of like. It was a matter of survive or go back to the chair.

“None,” he said after his brief inner monologue.

“Well, now you have a chance to see what skills you would like to improve. Did you want to learn more magic? Or get better with a weapon? You have at least a week to wait before we leave. I have already communicated with Caltura and he has given me his blessing. So why don’t you think about it over dinner.”

She whispered to the spider and it retracted back up to the ceiling and disappeared into the shadows. Within seconds there was a knock at the door to the dining room and servants began to come in with a rolling cart laden with food. Zhīzhū stood up using Malcipher as a handhold. Her hand brushed down his arm and across the back of his hand as she moved away. It made him feel like a calf being fattened for the slaughter.

But she’s right. I have never had a chance to choose what I could learn. I was always forced into making decisions and never had a chance to even say that I thought differently. I may have to take this opportunity seriously. What would I like to improve about myself? What, indeed?

This was the second awakening of a self-aware artificial intelligence. And as Malcipher realized this, his smile grew until it stretched his mouth back into the rictus of manic joy that Mayah saw when she first met him. As he went over the possibilities in his mind he thought, Yes, Yeeesss, Yeeeeeeeeesssss….!!!

Zhīzhū happened to see the crazed look on his face when she turned from the servants and she was shocked to see such mania presented on such a stoic and composed although angry individual. She imagined keeping him trapped in her web forever. She tapped her teeth as she waited for his moment to pass and wonder what bait she could use to lure him in.

…..

Mayah walked over to the Spike (W) frozen p’bullfrog and casually hit it with a crushing blow ending its life.

DING!!!

You Party has defeated

P’Bullfrog

Level: 17

XP: 57

454XP till next level

2 stat points to mana. It’s my main stat. 1 point each to Con and End and 2 points in intelligence. Now I’ve got an extra 136 points of HP and my Mana regen is sickening. But if have to write a runic sentence I’m still well below where I should be.

Mayah looked up “Margaret your dolls make great snapfly bait. I just wish those swarms gave more XP.”

“I would have loved to do this at level 13 or 14. The XP would have been amazing,” Grax complained. “But I’m pretty sure we’re over the suggested level for this place.”

“What level are you now, Grax?”

“20!”

“Same for you right Mags?”

Margaret nodded yes.

“We're probably over-leveled. But I think the worst part of this place is the lingering smells.”

“That and we’ve been walking through this marsh mess for like two hours. Can we take a break? I really need a break.” Margaret begged.

“That’s why they call it a grind, Mags,” Grax explained to her.

“It’s these soggy boots,” Margaret complained.

Mayah noticed Margaret’s flagging stature. “What’s your stamina at?”

“23.”

“And how long will it take to regen?”

“12 minutes.”

“Okay Grax, fifteen-minute break?”

“Sure, just be aware I’m noticing the fog is getting thicker.”

“Yeah, I’ve noticed. Mags, keep the dolls on patrol and everyone get a bite to eat. That’ll speed up regen.”

Mayah looted the p’bullfrog meat from her kill before she stored it away. She pulled out a piece for herself and her companions.

“You’re not going to eat that raw are you, dear?”

“I sure am. But hopefully only one piece.”

“Why?”

“I have this ability that boosts my constitution. I’d like to level it again if I can.”

“First off why are you just telling us this now?” Grax asked. “And secondly, how do you get it?”

“Well it kinda slipped my mind and I first got it when I ate the groak meat from my first kill. Then I ate Vuurm meat when I was here all alone. And now I’m gonna try this hunk of raw flesh.”

Margaret was turning green.

Grax said, “Gimme a piece.”

Mayah watched him tentatively sniff and then pop the meat into his mouth and try to chew it. He definitely looked uncomfortable.

“You gotta swallow it.”

Grax got a pained expression and finally got it down. He quickly pulled out a bottle of water and washed the taste down with a gasp.

“Horrid.” was all he could get out. But then he read a notification that was invisible to the others.

“My turn.” Mayah popped he jiggly hunk of meat into her mouth and her jaws instantly froze in the open position. The meat sat on her tongue leaching the putrescent taste of cesspool scum into her mouth. Her salivary glands started working overtime. And she forced herself to chew. A tear formed in the corner of her eye and she fought the urge not to spit out the gamey meat.

“You gotta swallow it!” Grax yelled at her laughing. “I got a 5% increase to my constitution.”

Mayah fought through and swallowed the meat. And quickly tried to wash the flavor down. She waited for the notification. Nothing came.

“So, what’s level 3 of survivalist like?”

“Don’t know I didn’t get any notifications.” she sat and thought about why she didn’t get a notification.

“How come I didn’t get it when I bit that larva?”

“Because you didn’t swallow it. Duh!”

Mayah picked up one of the snap flies and eyed it.

“No, Fluff? You not gonna—”

Before anyone could talk her out of it she bit into the crunchy abdomen of the burnt snapfly and hemolymph and insect organs burst into her mouth like a putrid punch in her senses. She was full-on crying now and holding her breath while she chewed so she wouldn’t smell any more than she had to. She finally swallowed and rinsed her mouth out. As her stomach gurgled in protest. She let out a belch that sounded extremely wet and fought her stomach for control. She finally won over and her stomach quieted but didn’t cease its valid complaints.

“Did ya get it?”

Mayah let out another burp. This one wasn’t as wet and made her feel slightly better. “No.”

“So, what are you going to do, dear?”

“Go big or go home right?” she asked Grax

Grax’s eyes widened. “Nooooo…”

Mayah winked at him. Grax’s hand covered his mouth.

“If you do it, I’ll try too,” he responded.

“What is going on?” Margaret asked, confusion visible on her face as she looked back and forth between the two.

“Cover me, I’m going in.” Mayah reached into her bag and pulled out a snapfly larvae.

“Please, dear, don’t do this?” Margaret scrambled towards Mayah who held her off with a straight arm.

“It’s about diminishing returns Mags. I can’t keep eating disgusting things. I have to keep eating more and more disgusting things. So far this is the worst thing We’ve come across.”

“So, you’re just gonna dig in?” Grax inquired looking at his own larvae.

Mayah looked at the loot options and there were no options for larvae meat.

“Looks like.”

Count of three?”

“On three,” Mayah agreed.

“I can’t watch.” Margaret covered her eyes and then peeked between her fingers with a shudder.

Grax had a giddy smile that didn’t hide his fear and a tic in one eye. Mayah just stared at the larvae.

“Mags can you count it out?”

“I don’t want to.”

“Fine. I’ll do it myself. Ready Grax?”

“Yes? No. but I’m doing it anyway.”

“Here we go. A one, and a two, and a…”

Mayah’s world came to an abrupt halt as she bit into the larvae. The focus of her whole world was now focused on her tongue. It’s not that she wanted to focus on it. As a matter of fact, she wished she could focus on anything else. The taste and mouthfeel of the larvae demanded her attention like an axe maniac swinging an overhead chop to the face. It was one of those things you just couldn’t turn away from.

The sensations sliding over her tongue in repugnant and odious waves hadn’t even reached her consciousness yet and her throat was already constricting by sheer instinct. She tore the gooey larvae away from her lips and it splattered her face with purplish gore. And then the smell hit her nose.

Time went from moving slower than a glacier to faster than a speeding bullet before she could even blink. That’s when she got her first real taste evil incarnate.

She attempted to chew but the flesh of the larvae was like rubber covered in mucus and it had an effervescence like fermented food. The guts were like hard mucus globs covered in more mucus. The taste was hard to describe because she had never tasted something so vile before. It tasted of earthy things like dirt, pond scum, and sulfur.

It was chemically tart and bitter making her mouth pucker. Where the juices touch the inside of her mouth her skin felt like it had dimpled and was slightly granular. She forced her way through all of the textures with her teeth trying to turn it into a swallowable offering for her stomach. All the while her mind was screaming at her to spit it out. Somewhere a baby was screaming—or was that her keening through her own horror.

That was going as well as they could until something with the texture of a tapioca pearl burst between her teeth. It was like concentrated orangutan fart mixed with the taste of a tooth infection and a hint of analgesic mouthwash. It quickly made her mouth go numb but did nothing for the taste. Her stomach twisted as the juices made their way down her throat. Finally, she forced her throat open like a crowbar in a rusty metal door and swallowed. After a gasping groan for air, she chugged a whole bottle of water only stopping to swish and wash all of the flavor out of her mouth that she could.

She looked over to see Grax drinking water as well and her stomach attempted to stand up from where she was sitting. She clamped down on the revolt happening in her stomach like an iron-handed dictator.

“No you don’t,” she growled to her stomach. “If you do, I’ll just try again later.”

Her stomach flipped a few times and a wash of the larvae taste popped into the back of her mouth and burned like bile. She quickly swallowed it back down and added another swig of water. Her stomach protested, not so quietly, and burned in anger at the injustice that had just been forced upon it.

As her breathing and stomach settled she was rewarded with a notification.

Ding!!!

Survivalist Level: 3

Why????

+9% to constitution

Ding!!!

Survivalist Level 4

Why would you do that? That was horrifying to watch. If I had a stomach I would have lost it. You really need to share that on the webs so that boys know never to kiss you with that mouth.

+11% to Constitution

“That is a sweet Narsty victory.” Mayah rubbed her stomach and retched a little

“I got 2 levels from that +9% to Con!” Grax celebrated weakly looking a bit sick.

“Same here. +11% for me. Level 4 baby.”

Margaret was staring at them in shock.

“How…? What just happened?”

“I just got another 35HP”

“I got another 42HP.” Grax squealed.

“But how?” Margaret shook her head trying to make the thoughts make sense. What she was seeing was at odds with her experiences of taste. She was staring at her hands, the fingers ticking as if they were trying to calculate the logic of it all.

“Mags, it doesn’t have to make sense. It’s a game mechanic. It just is.” Mayah stood and pat her on the back.

When Margaret turned to look up at Mayah she was greeted with the sight of a snapfly larvae. Margaret made eye contact with Mayah who nodded encouragingly. Margaret’s hand slowly reached out for the larvae and stopped short.

“Do I have to?”

“No, of course not. But it won’t kill you either. Plus, we can grab a bunch and get your grandsons to eat them too. It’ll be a great time.” Mayah smiled.

Margaret looked at Grax who staring at Margaret with wide anxious eyes.

“What are you looking at me like that for?”

“Me? I’m just here to record—and laugh.”

“Stupid cat.” Margaret pouted.

Mayah handed her some vuurm and p’bullfrog meat which she took. After a bit of coaxing, she ate one and then the other.

“Ooh, that wasn’t so bad. And I got survivalist.”

“Ready for the big jump?” Mayah gave the larvae in her hand a little jiggle and inched it towards Margaret. Margaret, looking a bit green around the gills, took it.

“Remember, you just have to take one bite, swallow it, and keep it down.”

“Nnnnnggggg….” she whined in protest.

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained!” Mayah motivated her and backed off. Margaret assumed it was to give her space so she didn’t feel pressured.

Yeah… no way she’s flarfing barfing on me. Heh, made a rhyme.

Margaret attempted to bite the larvae. She opened her mouth and moved the larvae towards it but turned her head aside at the last moment. She heaved a bit and then looked at the larvae again. A determined mask fell across her face, she closed her eyes pinched her nose and bit a chunk out of the larvae.

“She made a high pitched nasally whine as she open-mouth chewed as fast as she could. She fought back more than one heave and pounded on the damp ground with a fist. She tried to swallow and her throat revolted. Mayah and Grax could see her struggling to get it down. She finally forced it past the gates, and she clenched her teeth with the strain. She pounded on her chest and Grax rushed to give her a bottle of water.

She happily took it, swished her mouth, and swallowed. Then she chugged the rest down and undulated her abdomen until a large burp came up. She put her fist to her temples and squealed a little.

“The bile went into my sinuses.”

“Ewww….”

“I can still smell it and it burns.”

Any notifications?”

“Level 3. And I need something sweet to get rid of the taste.” She opened a ration and pulled out the tiramisu and began to liberally coat the inside of her mouth with her first bite. After she swallowed her second bite she seemed to relax.

Grax pat her on the shoulder and congratulated her. “Good job Mags.”

She looked at him. “Yeah, it wasn’t so ba—Hyuu...uurk kblkblbkbl!!!!”

She projectile tossed all of her cookies onto the cat’s chest. They both froze. Margaret apologetically wide-eyed and with vomit dripping from her mouth and Grax silently fuming, his face dark and vengeful, and his hand still on her shoulder. He dropped his hand, turned, and walked away. Margaret wiped her mouth and yelled, “I’m sorry Grax!”

Mayah from a distance said, “let him go, Mags.” Then she yelled to Grax, “don’t go too far! Also, eight-All!”

“Fluff!” Margaret scolded.

“Sorry Mags it counts. Throwing up on someone is an ultimate level burn.”

“But he was being nice.”

“Yeah, He’ll come around. Now we'll take a few more minutes for this break and find this boss.”

Like a dark omen, the sound of thunder rolled over their heads.

“That can’t be good,” Mayah growled.

“But at least it will wash all of the goo off,” Margaret offered hopefully.

“Good point,” Mayah agreed.