After his failure in escaping, Arturri wasn’t exactly sure what to do next. He felt that it was in Nadira’s hands now. If he could get to the ball the next night, he would have another chance. Security being what it was, there was no way he could get out without the assistance of a Diplomat. If Nadira didn’t come back with privileges herself, he wasn’t sure what he would resort to. He considered possibly stealing one of the Diplomat’s crowns for himself. There wouldn’t be another chance at a night like a ball for another two years, and he wasn’t sure he could hold out living like this for that long.

In the meantime, he controlled himself. Thieving was a last resort. He cleaned and took on the jobs that the matron bestowed upon him, and tried to suppress his frustration. At the end of the day, Daress met with him, as she usually would. He heard her knock on the door, as quiet and gentle as ever.

“Daress, come in,” he said, welcoming a distraction - and a bit of familiarity.

She came in with a big smile covering her face, holding a woven basket. “Happy Freedom Day!” she said, presenting it to him.

He accepted the basket, surprised that she had been so thoughtful. “Oh Daress, you shouldn’t have.” A twist of guilt began to worm its way into his guts. He would be leaving her behind soon enough, as soon as Nadira came with good news.

“Look inside!”

She was clearly excited about this, which made him feel all the worse. He obeyed and saw that there was an entire carrot cake bundled at the bottom of the basket in a bread tin. The carrot cake was a deep purple with orange frosting. The tin felt warm as he lifted it out and set it on his desk. There were also a couple of plates and forks at the bottom of the basket. He wasn’t sure what to say to her. It might have been the nicest thing anyone outside of Sadie had done for him.

“I have really been looking forward to you being out, but I didn’t want to talk with you about it in case it just made you feel worse. But now we can be excited together!”

He nodded and tried to smile, his lips closed and uncooperative. “Thank you, Daress. You’re very sweet.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that,” she said, looking down.

He noticed the rings under her eyes. Something about her behaviour was off. He wasn’t sure what she was expressing, but it was different to how she normally behaved. Maybe he had just never seen her excited for anything. “I really appreciate it. I’ll cut you a slice now, shall I?”

“Yes please!” She took a seat with a stiff posture. He hadn’t realized it before, but she was carrying something else against her robes, held close to her chest with one hand.

He finished carving her slice and then his own. On delivery, he asked what she had there.

“Oh, um, let’s talk about that after cake, I think…”

He furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, but let it go. “Whatever you wish.”

“So what are you going to do? Now that you’re free?” She asked with a warm smile, taking a bite of her cake. She watched him carefully to see his reaction to his slice.

He found it a strange cake. It was at once very sweet but there was something almost bitter about it as well. It was a bit hard to swallow on its own without a drink to go with it. He poured them both some water from a pitcher on his desk when he had managed it. “Oh,” he said, once he was able, “Well, I haven’t fully figured that out yet.”

“Well I have a few ideas, I was thinking-“

“Daress,” he interrupted her, putting his fork down for a moment. “I need to tell you something.”

Her words faded from her face. “Yes?”

He bore the weight of his guilt. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I do know. That is - what I’m going to do. Once I’m free. I’m going to go to the ball.”

“The ball… But we aren’t allowed to go to balls. Well, unless you’re... a Diplomat.” She stared at him in disbelief. “You aren’t…”

“No, no. Of course, I never applied, that would be ridiculous.” As he realized where the conversation was headed he wished to change it. “Well, I thought I’d have to tell you because if I go to the ball, I could get evidence for the case. Don’t you see? It’s the only chance I’d have to get into the Dar Yi Home again. It could mean I could clear my name if I’m lucky enough. This is important to me.”

She searched him. He didn’t like how her eyes seemed to figure things out. Her shoulders sank. She withdrew. “I understand.”

“Daress, you have to understand. I never should have been here in the first place. I don’t belong here!” Arturri scooted to the edge of his seat as though he might keep the closeness between them by bridging the emerging gap. Instead, it felt wider than before.

“Not like me, you mean.”

It was his turn to search her now, and what he saw worried him. She looked a mess. Something had been distressing her when she had come in, but now it seemed as though it had consumed her. Her hair was a wild tangle. Her eyes were shadowed. Her arms crossed like a shield before her. Her posture had given up. “You don’t deserve this either,” he said barely above a whisper as though anything more might break her. “You could come with us.”

Her eyes met his. “Us?”

He was such a fool. He might as well come out with it all now. “Nadira might be able to make it possible. We could be truly free, Daress. If I get back into the Dar Yi, I might be able to protect you somehow. I mean, this is a new concept, but we can work out the specifics-“

“No.”

“…No? Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to. You were wrong. I do deserve this. It’s not going to be that easy either. But now… Oh, who am I kidding, I never had a chance.” She stood up. “I’m sorry, I need to go…”

“Wait.” he stood up after her.

She paused, hugging her book close to her. “Good luck, Arturri. I hope you are happy.”

She left. The plates of barely touched cake growing cold on his desk.

He wasn’t happy at all.

The room felt empty and colder than ever before. Any appetite for that cake was gone now. After cleaning up the plates and placing a cloth over the tin, he sat down on his bed.

He wanted to fix things with Daress somehow. But then, would that even be a good idea? If he did leave, perhaps it would be easier this way. She had already said her goodbyes to him after all. But she must not realize how little this was set in stone. It could be that none of this would work out, and if so, they would still be sharing this Orphanage in stupid loneliness. That wouldn’t do at all. He resolved if by the afternoon of the night of the ball he still had no answers from Nadira, he would seek her out and try to patch things up. Perhaps this was the coward's answer, but it seemed practical to him. The resolution gave him the peace to fall asleep.

The next day, things progressed normally at the Orphanage. He could see there was more bustle in the market than usual, but he didn’t have the luxury of enjoying the festivities himself. He was given his list of chores, and worked (ew), almost losing track of time. When he realized it was the afternoon, and having not seen Nadira all day, he recalled his resolution.

He went to Daress’ room and knocked on the door. At the first knock, it swung inwards a little more. It had already been ajar, but he hadn’t realized.

“Daress?”

He felt something cold run across his back. Something was wrong. He started to panic. He pushed the door in further.

She wasn’t there. But there was something. A book lying on her bed. It was the same size as the one that she had been clutching the night before. He went over to it and picked it up as if it was the culprit of the crime.

Banishments? He wondered what that meant, but didn’t have time to read it now. He tried to calm down. It was his turn now to clutch the book. There might be a logical explanation as to where she was. Maybe she was just in the library and had to go there for some reason. Or just because she wanted to, or that she was upset. All of these seemed to be things Daress would do.

He felt his fingers go numb clutching the book but he steeled himself to carry on. He put one foot in front of the other, finding his way down the path to the library.

The path was a long suspended hallway and a few stairs leading to the metal double doors which were always open.

But as he approached, his stomach sank and he felt ill. It was the scent that hit him first. It smelled like smoke.