Chapter 5 - Goodbyes and New Beginnings

It was early morning by the time the girl got to her troupe, enough prey with her to last for a few days. Unlike the other times she returned however, when she looked at those that had awaited her return, she felt heavy in her heart.

It was a decision she had to make, no way around it. Stay... or leave.

After distributing what she had hunted, she sat down next to a tree and smiled as immediately some of the smaller animals gathered around her. They liked to stay near her because they could sense her flame, basking in its bright glow.

Thinking back to the...people, Immortals as they called themselves, she had met, she was aware that even they didn’t have flames like hers. Theirs were fire, forged from ashes and dust, shining immensely bright…but they were no more than fire.

Her flame was forged from a star and it was powerful, far more powerful than their fire forged flames. It made her feel a little lonely, to know that they weren’t really like her after all.

But then again, should she let them leave? The only people she had ever communicated with?

They seemed to know what she was, they seemed to know about the world and wasn’t knowledge about this world what she always wanted?

She wanted to know. Who she was, what she was, what kind of life she was meant to lead after waking up in those caves.

The desire to wander, to explore and find new meaning was strong in her, so strong it dared her to go and run at this very moment.

But she also knew that her companions couldn’t make this journey with her. They were too numerous and many of them too savage to do so. They needed her protection or wanted to follow her strength and she knew every single of their names and hearts.

Could she abandon them? Could she forsake her promise and leave them bare to the dangers she vowed to save them from?

Then again, they had come to her. She had offered them safety but she had never offered them eternity. She couldn’t protect them forever, one day she would have to leave or they would have to. She knew the concept of death very well, though she did not know if an age caused death was something she had to fear.

She heaved a deep sigh and looked around. On her shoulders were her feathered companions, the others were mostly gathered to eat.

Ichakh sat a bit away from her, watching her with eyes far too intelligent. She felt a little weak under his gaze, her first companion never failed to question her.

He probably knew what she was pondering. She wished she could pacify him, tell him there was no way that she would ever leave his company but he belonged to the woods to the wild. And she?

Did she, really?

She felt at home in the woods and hunting brought her joy. But without having seen the world, how could she settle down? How could she live her life in uncertainty, never knowing what was out there, always regretting that she gave away the possibly only chance to venture out there?

Thinking like that she sat for hours under the tree, even when the others around her had long since fallen asleep or stalked off on their own business.

She shifted her gaze to the stars, her sisters and brothers, the guardians she needed to thrive and breathe every day and night. They were calling and their call was soothing, a song in the night that gave her power and strength.

Then, she looked at her sleeping friends.

They were dear to her, so very dear and she wanted to shield them from danger so badly. But they also were creatures of the wilderness and while she had granted them sanctuary, all of them knew that no Utopia could last forever.

The stars knew it, and she knew it too, deep down.

She belonged to the world.

She couldn’t cage herself in these woods for a promise, easily given, harder kept, and always wonder about what could’ve been if she’d taken this chance. She would protect them, for another winter, another ten maybe and then they would die or she would and her chances would be gone with the seasons changing.

She needed to go.

If the world had nothing to offer her, she would return to the woods that made her first home but in a world that seemed so vast and under a sky filled with so many stars, she knew she had to travel.

She had to learn, to see, to touch the wonders of this world with her hands.

Deep down, the decision was always clear.

Now she only had to come to terms with the guilt and the consequences such a choice brought with it.

Her heart broke as her eyes swerved over all those she was going to leave behind.

But her decision was made.

I’m sorry.

In the morning, she said goodbye.

She spoke to every single of her fifty two companions, showing them her heart and her truth. Most of them were enraged, turning around on the spot to leave or trying to attack her. Some, the smarter ones of those she’d taken in, understood.

It tore her heart once more, but she stood by her decision.

She belonged to the world and she had to leave, no matter how much Ecchaik's eyes were pleading with her.

The most understanding of all, was Ichakh.

The former loner had known her longest and had always been her most loyal companion. He was a true friend to her, but that was exactly why she needed him to stay.

There were those under her protection who direly needed it, wounded and sick beasts and those too young to care for themselves.

She needed Ecchaik and Ichakh to watch out for them in her stead. She knew they would do it, Ichak out of loyalty to her, Echhaik because she had the heart of a leader and had since long ago lead the group in the girl’s absence.

It took convincing, but in the end, they understood.

Ichakh looked at her as she wrapped her arms around his fur, their flames in a melancholic synchrony. He was the first to be her friend and he had always stayed by her side until now.

It was only one summer and one winter but to her, it felt longer than that. She stroked his fur and let her flame seep into her fingers, transmitting the last of her warmth she could give him. It was filled with all of her aching, her pain of leaving him behind and her promise not to forget.

She would never forget.

And then she left.

Her heart mourned for those she left behind, but when she saw the great fire in the sky shining through the trees and felt the warm air on her skin, the joy was greater.

There were wonders out there, she knew that. Wonders and joy and other companions and adventures she wanted to see so badly. She had to go.

The girl’s feet raced over the uneven floor, their soles still unprotected but by now so used to the terrain that they didn’t hurt much when she stepped on stones and twigs. While in the beginning, she had been quite clumsy while running, now the danger of tripping and falling was close to zero.

And so she reached the clearing where she’d met the creatures like her before, a little out of breath after running quite far but not a bit less enthusiastic.

They were still there, gathered around the glimmering remains of a fire, save for two of them. Their leader, Neiro was sharpening the long silver thing with a stone, an act the girl found fascinating but didn’t quite understand.

She studied them for a while, most of all their flames, just to make sure she knew who she would give her future company.

Neiro had an honest flame, firm and quite stern but there was loyalty and a leader in him. She could see that he would be a loyal companion if she earned his trust.

The two females sat together, the one with the short brown hair, and the gentle flame, Rize, as well as the boisterous, blonde one, Kassa, who seemed to harbour a deep distaste for the other and everything in general.

The other two males, the silent and steady one as well as the adventurous fighting flamed one were both gone.

She had not studied their flames intently when they'd met before so she could not know their names, but she guessed she would, eventually.

She paused at the edge of the clearing, as she’d had before.

Is this what I’m supposed to do?

Even though she could see their flames, they were not as easily read as her beastly companions’. Their flames were different, deeper, only understood after careful observation and she knew by the flickering darkness in them that most of these beings harboured secrets.

But all in all, she didn't hesitate for long. The world called to her and she had to go.

So she stepped towards them, making sounds with her feet on purpose so that they'd be alerted of her presence.

Neiro's head was the first that snapped up and when he saw her a smile filled his features.

His body was older than hers, she noticed in the daylight, faint lines and wrinkles adorning his eyes and forehead. She wondered if she, too, would grow old with time.

"You came!" Rize exclaimed with a smile and Kassa turned around as well, though her lips were curled in more a frown than a welcome.

The girl nodded and smiled herself.

"I…want to know…the world," the words came much easier now, especially since she'd practised a little last night. Speaking did come naturally to her, as walking did, but it was by far not as easy as it had been to call fire to her command.

"We can take you to the next city. There are schools for people like you, you'll be able to learn a lot there," Neiro said friendly.

"Schools? People like me?" she echoed, feeling dumb but her lips curled into a frown all by themselves. She didn't understand his words very well, but she would like to learn more about this world, that she was sure of.

"Newborn fools, like you," Kassa supplied and began to poke the dying fire with a stick. The girl's frown deepened.

Seeing her expression, Neiro barked a laugh, no doubt finding her ignorance far more amusing than she did. She felt anger kindle inside of her, after all, it was not her fault that she had woken up without memories or a name to herself and she had tried to make the best of it, hadn't she?

"I did not come to be…insulted," she said angrily, though her statement was no doubt overshadowed by her still poor pronunciation abilities. Her voice had a different lilt than theirs, a harshness that she couldn't change and her lacking fluency wasn't making it any better.

"Forgive me," Neiro said and stopped smiling, "I did not mean to insult you, I'm sure you must be confused. I'm glad that you decided to come with us."

She nodded, controlling her anger. It would do no good to be cross with them, even though she didn’t like the feeling of being looked down at.

"Can you…explain things to me?" she asked, unable to hold her curiosity at bay. There were so many things they'd said she didn't know. Schools, clans, newborns, wildlings, she didn't know any of these but she wanted to, badly.

"Well, what do you want to know?" Rize gave back.

The girl's eyes glittered as she turned to the female.

"Everything."