Chapter Three - Wild

Not soon after she had jumped and light footedly landed on the forest floor, she had seen so much she couldn’t help but be stunned at any step.

The way the sunlight filtered through the trees, the feeling of the leaves and the bark under her hands, the feeling of her feet on the soft mossy floor, of the wind on her skin and the birds fluttering around her, it all was new and it all was exciting.

She began to count to flow of time by looking at the great fire in the sky, feeling it move across the infinite blue and slowly dying it in wonderful red and orange hues.

She saw other fires, smaller and further away rising and presenting them to her, illuminating a black sky - stars. She saw three huge disks in the sky, reflecting the great fires and bringing new light to the world. Moons, her head called them.

They showed her new paths, small plants glowing with brilliant violet light, as if the reflection of the great fire caused them to reflect their own light even more.

Flowers, that’s what they were, gleaming and turning with every gust of wind.

But with the setting of the sun came a cold wind that made her bare skin shiver and shake and before long, her own long hair wasn’t warm enough to wrap herself in.

She was freezing at night and before soon, the only thing she could do was cover herself in fire and make it hotter until it chased away the chill. It seemed to be her problem only as Ichakh and Ecchaik had warm fur growing on their skin to protect them, while she was bare.

She wondered if others like her also wrapped themselves in fire like she did. Ichak seemed to be scared of it, a deep fear of getting...burned even though the fire in their hearts couldn’t harm them at all.

She didn’t understand it.

As time passed, she began to count to flow of time, not only by the great fire in the sun riding up and down but also by the moons that moved in synchrony, growing round and thin.

There were quite a lot of times the great fire rose and set until the moons made a full circle from growing full to waning to growing full again.

As she observed the moons’ phases, the girl who had yet to be given a name learned a lot.

She learned that her two companions would disappear at times to find something to quench a desire in their stomachs called...hunger. She herself did not have this sort of feeling, however she understood it to be painful.

It was only a while after she noticed their disappearances that she understood that to satisfy their urges, they had to exterminate another living being’s flame. At first she felt shocked at the fact that her closest companions would willingly exterminate lives but she gradually came to understand.

In order to survive one has to do things one does not want to do.

It took two circles of the moons until she realised that herself.

It was by nightfall, the great starry fires in the sky she felt so connected to sparkled above her, and she rested against a tree, alone for once. Around her were a few smaller, winged creatures with small beaks and little claws on their feet that liked to sit on her shoulders once they felt that her fire harboured no ill intentions. Her mind seemed to be unable to put a name to them, but she enjoyed the company of their small, joyful flames.

They seemed to love tranquillity and so, when they suddenly jumped up and flew hastily away, she knew something was wrong.

She sat up, vigilant, and concentrated on her ears, trying to find the source of disharmony around her. It was there, very faint and if she hadn’t listened she wouldn’t have noticed the soft footsteps approaching her.

She smiled, knowing it wasn’t one of her companions, but always happy to meet other beings. But her joy soon enough faded when she sensed it wasn’t curiosity or a desire for company that brought the other life form close to her.

She saw it as soon as she spied its flame - and what she saw seeped deep into her bones. It was savage, wild and ferocious, as if its flame was ready to devour her.

She jumped up and looked at it, a huge four legged creature that bared its teeth and looked at her with a malicious twinkle in its eyes.

In that moment, a feeling befell her unlike anything else she ever felt before. Caution. She’d never sensed it before, never felt her hair stand on end like they did now, never felt that distinctive wariness seep deeply into her heart.

In the moment she knew that what was in front of her would never become her companion. She felt its past, saw its present and predicted its future in its flame and she knew what she had to do.

The thought that came to her scared her, so much that she paused for a second, unable to move at all.

The animal in front of her crouched, the savage glint growing stronger.

She took a deep breath and understood one thing.

Me, or him. Life...or death.

Even though she had never been confronted with death so directly before, she could grasp the concept so completely that she knew what it meant.

She also knew that she didn’t want it. She had just come into this world, never caused harm, only longing to explore this strange place she came to. She didn’t want to extinguish the flames of others, the divine fire that fuelled their lives. But it was undeniable that that was just what the creature in front of her longed for.

And she didn’t want to die.

And so she had to kill.

The creature in front of her jumped, growling, baring its teeth at her.

She stretched out her hand and looked at its flame. It was easy, too easy. So easy it made her blood run cold and her heart stop for a second.

It flew above her and a single thrust was enough for her fingers to grab it.

And then she squeezed.

Without a single muscle on her face moving, she pressed her hand to a fist and smashed the flame within.

By the time her hand formed a fist, only a small ember was left. Then, nothing at all.

Mid jump, the creature suddenly spasmed, quivered and then fell right onto her with a loud thud and an immense weight crushed her, nailing her to the floor.

Her lips quivered as felt its body weight her down, still warm and she couldn’t help but release a single tear that rolled down her cheek and seeped into the floor.

It wasn’t fair that for her to live another life must be extinguished. She felt regret, sadness at the fact that it had come to this. But she also understood that it had to be.

In order to live, sometimes others must die.

That day, she understood that one principle and it was precisely because of that understanding that she did not feel guilty about having killed for the first time.

She pulled her hand from beneath the body and dropped it onto the head that hovered above her, gently closing its eyes.

May your soul rest among the stars.

The words came naturally to her and she closed her eyes as wished safe passage for the soul she had just erased from this world. It was the least she could do.

Then, she pushed her arms up and rolled out from underneath the beast, lifting it from her with ease. It looked incredibly heavy, huge fangs and fur and all but she found it surprisingly easy to drag it off her and throw it to the floor. Her arms held strength she did not even fathom.

She then stood up and looked down on the carcass. Should she just leave it here? It seemed so wasteful to have killed it for survival and then let its body rot in the woods for nothing.

She bit her lip and then shook her head. Its flesh could still be eaten by her companions, who depended on it for survival…

I won’t let your sacrifice be for nothing. The thought flashed through her head as she looked at its fur. Nodding to herself, she summoned a tiny, but hot flame to her finger and then began to cut along its body, slowly opening its skin. If it was its fur, she could still use it to keep her own body away from the cold air. After all it was precisely because of her lack of fur that she had to wrap herself in fire every night and that proved to be rather impractical.

So she set to work and, with a tiny flame atop of her finger, she began to sever the connections between flesh and fur. It was gruesome work she did not enjoy but the thought of killing something just to let it rot felt even more wasteful. She would make most of her kill and afterwards return its bones to earth so its soul may be reborn among the stars.

In that thought, the star in her chest burned a little brighter, making her acutely aware of its existence. It burned inside her chest, calling to its brothers and sisters on the sky.

She closed her eyes for a second, revelling in the feeling. This time, she didn’t feel like it was trapped inside of her, under this starry sky. It was her.

Under the sky, she was one with it, one with the stars up above and the star inside of her, the star that was her. The thought of going back inside the caves was now, months after sleeping under the stars, unimaginable for her.

The stars moved over her head and time passed while she finished her work and began to burn the last of blood that stuck to the fur away so it could dry up and allow her to wrap it around her.

It came to her without thinking, as so many things did. By now, she obeyed her instinct, the knowledge inside her mind that came to her when needed, without the slightest hesitation.

Soon after she was done, Ichakh and Ecchaik returned, pausing and staring wide eyes at the huge carcass in front of her. Ecchaik ran to her, in her eyes something like concern but when she did not smell her blood, she backed down and fell to her feet as if she would refuse to let anything near her.

The girl smiled and dropped a hand on her companion’s head, slowly petting her fur.

Ichakh meanwhile walked over to inspect the skinned corpse, his mouth hanging open in desire as he saw its bountiful flesh. He looked to her and at her gentle nod, he began to rip off large chunks of it, satisfying his hunger.

She did not feel urges to consume the flesh of the beast the killed, another distinctive difference between her and the two four legged creatures she called her companions. She wondered why they were different and if there were others like her out there, who walked on two legs and wrapped fire around them to keep them warm.

Others whose hearts were stars that felt swollen and satisfied under the night sky, not requiring to thrive off other being’s flesh to survive as long as they bathed in the light of the great fires above.

When she thought about it, there was a longing inside of her heart and she wanted to look for them, to search those that were like her. But at the same time there was also fear and uncertainty. After all, what if they did not exist and she was alone? The only one of her kind?

Or what if she found others and they weren’t like her, searching for company and life, but rather like the beast that had attacked her, savage and aiming for her flame?

She bit her lip as she thought about it and then looked at her companions, both of which currently were devouring her kill.

In the end, she shrugged, since it wasn’t something she could change. First and foremost, she was still happy to even be able to see this world and find living beings within and like that, it would be fine to continue travelling with Ichak and Ecchaik.

And that she did.

More time passed, the fires in the sky rose and set and another two times the moons became full again and the weather slowly but steadily grew even colder.

With the icily cold wind the leaves of the forest they had travelled through began to turn red and orange and brown, colouring the world in an entirely different set of shades.

Needless to say, the girl was immensely fascinated by it. A stranger to seasons, she could only observe as the winds grew colder and the woods turned colourful and each of her steps rustled through fallen and died leaves.

In these two full moons, many things happened. Many other creatures crossed her path, some violent and vicious as the first beast she had slain – and all of them rather quickly met the same fate. In time, she lost her initial hesitation in extinguishing a flame, mostly because she grew to treasure her own life more with each day.

Other creatures however searched for her protection, especially as they saw that she could spend warmth and safety to those less able to protect themselves than her. So far, she had met no other creature that could summon fire to its will like she did and even for her it seemed natural that she should then provide shelter to those who lacked this ability.

And so, her small group stopped being small and those who spent time with her grew plentiful. There were the small feathered and winged creatures that liked to perch themselves on her shoulders and then there were other four legged creatures, both similar and completely different from her initial companions.

Ichakh and Ecchaik banded together with others of their kind and seemed to grow into her very own protectors, by the time the leaves turned brown they already numbered six and made sure that at least two of them were always by her side.

She found it quite endearing and revelled in their care, glad to be seen as important and worth of protection in their eyes.

Then there were other predators, feline beasts with slitted eyes and long tails that stalked on the edges of their group, from time to time going away to hunt and provide prey for those unable to hunt for themselves.

Before long, the girl grew to be a sort of leader for them, a protector and she viewed them as her friends, knowing each of their names and their flames and cherishing each as much as they cherished her. Soon enough, she became one of the undeniable rulers of the huge forest area they made their living in.

She herself wasn’t as aware of this as the forest itself was, but as she looked at the large troupe of companions she had found, she felt quite happy.

They never stayed at one place for too long, mostly because the girl couldn’t hold her curiosity.

She had a need to see the world and she soaked up every new place, every new thing she saw and made sure to remember it. And there were constantly new things, especially as the cold winds increased and more and more water that fell from the sky was replaced by frozen little drops of…snow that were both incredibly beautiful and incredibly annoying.

At first, she found it mesmerizing, the way the little flakes swirled and danced but the cold they brought was not to her taste at all. There was fire burning in her veins and her heart, she danced among flames and not amongst ice and as such, the cold around her was her opposite in every way.

Most of her companions shared that dislike. Thanks to the girl’s unique ability to summon fire out of nothing but her heart they didn’t need to fear freezing but they did fear starvation, especially as their group grew even larger.

The girl noticed it, noticed some flames growing dimmer and eventually went out to hunt herself, despite her heart wishing against it. She disliked killing those that had no aggression against her, but when it came to the decision of letting someone close to her die or not, she wasn’t willing to let it happen.

But even with her sacrifice, she could not save everyone.

The first died two full moons after the first snow had fallen.

It was an older four legged creature with short fur and hooves on its feet and two black eyes that seemed to be able to look into one's soul. She had taken it in knowing its lifespan was not as long as most but when it broke down and its flame flickered, she still felt her heart break.

She sunk onto her knees next to it when she fell and held its head throughout it all. Its…his name was Tha and she knew by the content shine of his flame that he had lived a satisfying life but all that didn’t stop her from crying bitter tears when his flame fell into embers.

May your soul rest among the stars.

Tha’s death was completely different from the predators and prey she had slain before. With him, she couldn’t bring it over her to use his body for the nourishment of her companions.

He was no sacrifice. He was a victim and his carcass was to be honoured, not to be used.

And so she sent him off in a blaze of her flames, scattering his ashes onto the forest floor.

He was not the only one to die.

In the end, her heart broke four more times when one of Ichak’s pack and three more companions fell to the lack of food. In these moons of cold, the girl learned what loss was.

She felt guilty, a stone on her heart when she saw those she cared about fall, but when she looked at those that were left, she knew she had still done right.

The fire in her heart, the curiosity, the love for the world was still there, even after the harsh moons.

And soon enough, the winds grew warm again.

The snow began to melt and underneath small flowers began to bloom. The great fire in the sky shone brighter and warmer and there was more food to be found and less cold to be endured.

Her troupe grew stronger and so did she.

By then, it had been seven times that the moons had grown full since she had left the caves.

In her heart, there was the star that was her, burning ever so brightly and there was contentment and happiness whenever she looked at her companions and at the world.

There was also longing for she had yet to find someone like her in this wonderful world.

She had yet to find out who she was to begin with and, no matter how many companions she gathered and no matter how many distances of woods they crossed, she never found someone like her and the void inside of her heart never quite vanished.

They travelled through light woods and dark ones, across meadows and rivers and yet, nothing.

She longed for knowledge and looking at the world hardly quenched that desire. Being together with those she had grown to hold dear made it bearable and staring at the stars at night made her forget for a while, but never for long.

Little did she know that one evening, all of that would change.