Me and Kevin sat against the southern wall, our clothes full of sweat. It had been a productive/annoying hour of exercise. The load runs were similar to marching fully packed, though the other things we did seemed far more irrelevant. In the army, besides marching, you trained how to use a sword, pilum javelin, and shield. Those who provided their own horses formed the equestrian forces, while a select few became bowmen or scouts. Excepting mages, each force marched, practiced their weapons, fought in unarmed combat, and drank heavily to pass the remaining time.

This exercise business was taxing, while at the same time pointless. Everything seemed to simulate work without actually achieving anything. As expected from someone who lived in a society where walking seemed to be their only form of work, other than sitting and thinking. On our trip here, Kevin had said something about a where house (how the hell did he not know “where” it was?) in which they used machines called forklifts to move and stack very heavy items.

It made no sense. His society had developed incredible things to do their work for them. If so, then what the hell was the point of this exercise!? Take apart those infernal machines and work by hand for a few days, surely then there would be no need for this exercise crap. Ah, but simple, no nonsense, solutions were beyond him, as well as his fellow countrymen of Colorado. Instead of solving the problem at the core, they created a simulacrum of work they so named exercise to achieve the same thing a bit of exertion could have.

If not for the possibility of Kevin’s speed or stamina outpacing my own, I would’ve gladly refilled my stein and set about some actual work. My body only ached slightly. I imagined it to be my natural hardiness and strength, but my divine affinity no doubt played a small part even though my SP had been exhausted.

Before meeting up with Kevin I had amply practiced my water manipulation in my room with a bowl of water. I was getting better at speed, forming, and quantity pulled, so I decided to test myself a bit more. I tried pulling the liquid from a bottle of wine, but found that I could only make the liquid slosh around within the bottle.

It was very unique in that when I focused, I could feel the water in the wine, but found it heavier and more viscous than basic water. Mind, this was a feeling, not a fact. The wine had the same weight and viscosity of water, that bottle’s wine at least. While my efforts were wasted, the fact that I could somewhat affect the wine gave me hope that with more control or a second water etching, I might be able to manipulate more than pure water.

I looked over at Kevin, his black hair matted and disorderly. Kevin had really taken this exercise business to heart. That was admirable, but raised the question of why he couldn’t find a means of making money while I had been in my long sleep.

Assumptions were a haggler’s best and worst friends, if you have good intuition it made the business infinitely easier. If not, you went penniless or hopefully found other ways of adapting, typically in the forms of lying, stealing, and/or begging. To me, Kevin’s actions and words were stupid beyond belief, but that was only considering we were in the world of Nostrum. I did my best not to lash out at him too much on account of that, and the fact that every so often he mentioned a nugget of wisdom from his world that I could use.

Of course, I had to separate the wheat from the chaff. Tiny animals called germs that made you sick, tanks of water that fired explosive devices, trees that were our friends and vital to animals, and the sanctity of life counting among the overwhelmingly large amount of chaff. The little wheat he provided included: cell phones, information on plants, and potentially, maybe, possibly, this exercise nonsense.

Other worlders had been summoned to our would for centuries now, bringing along with them their ideas, theologies, and eventually ideologies. In the beginning they weren’t too different from us, minus the magic and monsters. Our world took what knowledge we could glean from them, and applied it where possible. Sadly, their world became more civilized (their word, ours was weaker) and in so doing became incompatible with ours.

In time arose the heroes, who used their strength and ideals to bring about the Second Great Calamity. After that, only authorized sages were allowed to research other worldly ideas and technology. Besides crop rotation, pesticides, and cement, no one truly knows what inventions in the last century are our own or those taken from their pool of knowledge.

There was so much Kevin could teach me…

“Whoa! Tome, look at this!”

Kevin held up a four-leaved clover for me to inspect. I looked at him carefully, not understanding the significance.

“It’s a four-leaf clover, do you know how rare and lucky these things are!”

I blinked rapidly. I looked to my left, in the distance was an entire patch of four-leaved clovers. In my entire life, I had never seen any other type of clover, nor had they ever afforded me any luck.

Well, there was so much Kevin could teach me, if he wasn’t half retarded…

On the bright side, I now knew that in his world clovers had more than four leaves. I suppose if I were ever to travel there, I wouldn’t look as stupid as he did right now. His grin causing me to have to fight the urge to stab him.

He owes you money, he owes you money. Stab him after he pays you back…

“Well, let’s call it a day and shower,” Kevin remarked, standing up.

“Uh, I wouldn’t waste my time with that if were you.”

“Why not? The girls already went to the showers, you aren’t planning on walking around all day covered with sweat are you?”

“Kevin, you remember that favor you promised me yesterday?”

“What favor?”

I rubbed the bridge of my nose furiously, beginning to wonder if he even remembered the gold he owed me.

“The favor you promised for my steak?”

“What? Oh, oh yeah, I think… Uh, that was for today?”

Don’t kill him, don’t kill him…

“Yes, yes it was, midday.”

“Well, we’ve still got a few hours, better to shower than walk around dripping with sweat.”

I resisted the urge to slap him. His attitude was somewhat justified as I had deliberately not told him how messy our task would be.

“Kevin, uh…” I thought for a second, “This job is going to be a bit dirty, washing will be a waste of time and effort, tell you what… How about we go ahead and get an early start?”

“Well, but, lunch will be in a few hours…”

Now his attitude was starting to piss me off. If anyone could afford to miss a meal, it was Kevin.

“Yes, lunch is typically during the middle of the day, midday, but we’re already filthy, best to get started now, work for maybe 5 hours, and then call it a day and grab something to eat.”

“But, what about lunch?”

“Lunch,” much like his bitching and moaning, “Can wait until the work is done.”

“But…”

“KEVIN, IF YOU CAN PAY ME 5 SILVER, WE’LL CALL YESTERDAY’S PROMISE GOOD.”

“Uh, I don’t…”

“THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT. Let’s be off then.”

I glared at him sternly until his shoulders slumped forward. He followed as I led the way to the stables. Connected to it was a small stone building where Virgil lived. The stones were the same drab grey and shape as the ones comprising the wall and the spire. I clanged the metal knocker once. There was a bit of incoherent, angry cursing. After a few moments we were greeted with that impressive charm that was Virgil.

“Who, and what the hell do you want!?”

A disheveled, unshaven Virgil flung open the door. His long greyish brown hair fell haphazardly on his shoulders, every word causing it to quake as his head bobbed. He wore a brown robe, numerous large stains splattered throughout. Disturbingly, the two largest looked uncannily like blood stains.

“Good day Virgil,” I replied, smiling enthusiastically.

Virgil stared at me, becoming noticeably more irate upon seeing my good mood. My lips couldn’t help but turn further upwards. He was one of those perpetually misanthropic people who lived to spread misery. The only way to get under such a person’s skin was to pretend to be blissfully unaware of his insults.

“You dirty a’son of a…”

“It’s great to see you too, old man.”

His eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Whadda you want, you dolt?”

“I thought you had a chore you needed done?” My smile not fading in the slightest.

Virgil’s eyes rolled up and to the right as he mulled over my words. When his eyes narrowed back to me, they, and his lips, were smiling evilly.

“Why yes, yes I did! Give me a moment.”

He slammed the door in my face. There were the sounds of articles being thrown, drawers opened, and papers flying. After five or seven minutes, Virgil came out, a small ledger open in his hands.

“So, you, oh, no! Yous two’s a’gonna be cleaning the cesspit today, yes?”

“That we are!” I said cheerily, my mood still refusing to sour thanks to noticing out of the corner of my eye how Kevin had blanched upon hearing cesspit.

Kevin opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off by Virgil.

“Then let’s be to it!”

Quickly Virgil strode into the adjacent stables. Kevin opened his mouth to try protesting again but a cold stare from me stopped his rebellion in his tracks. We made a deal, the hell if he would be breaking it, and the hell if I wasn’t having company to share in this misery.

Virgil came out of the stables, on top of an old, very odorous wagon.

“Follow me, boys.”

We followed him as we went around the back of the spire. Just as we rounded the southeastern corner a familiar, rotund, persona came into view, blocking Virgil’s path.

“VIRGIL CAINE!” The head of the kitchen screeched, an overly large cleaver in her right hand, the left busily angled on her hip for dramatic effect. My smile that had since faded into a neutral expression came back with a vengeance. Rarely a day went by without those women from the kitchen bitching about Virgil’s work ethic, or precisely, lack thereof.

Add to that his last name, oh, this was just too good!

“Dagnabbit woman, outta the way!”

“Not until you do your damned job! The kitchen waste has been gathering for a week now and you still haven’t cleared it! What the hell are you doing, kedging your own ass you piece of…”

“HEY! I maintain the walls, you idgit woman! They take far more priority than your little piles of crap! Don’t you da…”

“Oh, NO! Don’t YOU dare! You’re responsible for all groundskeeping, that includes my kitchen waste. All the bones, inedible bits, and trash are all supposed to be disposed of, BY YOU, in a timely manner! Don’t you dare use any of your excuses on me!”

“Well, I’m just so sorry that I’m keeping this place intact by the sweat of my brow and the grace of my balls, you old…”

As enjoyable as this scene was, I realized that herein lay an untapped opportunity. Classes were starting in only a few days, and already the usual 30 staffed kitchen was manned by 20 women. When the Spire commenced, the kitchen would be fully staffed and I would be redundant, besides being considered repugnant by the women within. The kitchen ladies would no doubt gleefully turn me away, ignoring all of my past hard work.

“Miss Helthinth, I apologize, but I think you’ve got the wrong idea.”

Both Virgil and Helthinth’s angry open-mouthed visages turned to me, incensed that I dare interfere in the argument.

“You snotty piece of…”

“What the hell is…”

“Today, Mister Virgil assigned to me the duties of clearing away the kitchen waste. I do apologize for not seeing to it today, it’s entirely my fault. You have MY WORD, TOMORROW, FIRST THING, I will be taking care of ALL the kitchen waste.”

There was an awkward silence. Both Virgil and Miss Helthinth were speechless. Virgil was the first to come back to reality, not understanding the why of my actions, but certainly the part of less work for himself. He nodded at me, flashing me a confused, but still toothy grin.

Miss Helthinth stood perplexed, turning from me to Virgil, to me, and back to Virgil. Obviously, she knew him far better than me, and knew that my words made absolutely no sense.

“Miss Helthinth, forgive my rudeness for interrupting you two. May I ask, have I ever disappointed in attending to my duties in the kitchen?”

The portly woman’s confused face scrunched in thought. She turned her ugly face to me at a suspicious angle.

“No…You’ve always done a goo…Satisfactory, job. Why would you be willing to do Virgil’s job?” She stressed the satisfactory part especially hard, no credit to hard work from her.

“Why, to be of help, of course! And I’m sure that you and your staff, being grateful for services rendered. Well rendered, may I add. Certainly, would not begrudge me meals and ale.”

“Meals and ale! Why I…”

“Of course! I understand if you prefer Virgil to attend to such duties. He is, of course, a veteran, and master of such affairs…”

Her face blanched even more than Kevin’s. Virgil was many things, the words I happened to choose, not so much.

“Well, I mean, ah, maybe we could…”

“No, NO. I completely understand, Virgil’s dedication is something I could never hope to emulate. You’re completely right, food and ale is too high a price, I’ll just let him kee…”

“OKAY! Food and ale, for YOU. ONLY! Any extra, and you pay for it!”

“But of course, Miss Helthinth. My word.”

The fat woman stared at me uncertainly. After a moment of thought she nodded slightly to herself, then fully to me.

“Tomorrow?”

“Yes, Ma’am, tomorrow, first thing when I wake. There’s a lot of trash, so please understand if it’s not all done in one day.”

“That’s fine, but MIND YOU, when the Spire starts, you’ll need to do trash duties at least three times a week to keep up.”

“But of course, Virgil informed me of such, isn’t that right Virgil?”

Virgil’s toothy grin stretched to unimaginable levels. Only when he thought he was stealing the water lamia (and pheromones) from me had I seen such happiness from him.

“Fat Bitc… Helthinth, why of course! My helper will be responsible for kitchen waste duties from now on! As if I a’wouldn’t see it was done square as a, uh, carpenter’s square!”

Virgil’s lame lies impressed neither Miss Helthinth nor I. She shot him an evil eye before looking back to me questioningly.

“Miss Helthinth, you and your staff have been nothing but kind to me,” an obvious lie, “You can count on me to be at your assistance.”

She gazed apprehensively, but eventually nodded again, this time sadly.

“Whenever you’re done with whatever chore that basta…Virgil, gives you today, stop by, I promise you something you’ve never tasted before!”

With that, the immense woman lowered her cleaver and retreated back into the kitchen entrance. Virgil was a sack of shit that couldn’t even be bothered to do his job, but more important than retribution against him was securing my own place. Sure, him and Miss Helthinth screaming at each other was quite the sight, but now… Virgil would have to secure me at least a few coppers if not an entire silver for this waste job. Add to that, I was guaranteed two/three meals a day, good ones at that, and I came out more than ahead.

Sure, Miss Helthinth could screw me over. I could dispose of the trash, then she’d find an excuse and refuse me my meals. But, in the Republic, your word and your actions were your bond. If I did my duty, and Miss Helthinth ignored her part or our bargain, she would suffer. Even the lowest peasant understood, you honored your word, lest no one trust you. My eldest brother Theodore III, piece of orc shit that he was, understood that too.

That’s why he carefully hedged all of his lies with most likelies, ifs, and onlys… Anyone could lie, but afterwards, there was a hefty price to pay. Some people may argue, but Tome your position isn’t all that important. Okay, say that again when your rubbish gathers for a month, we’ll see just how valuable my position is then.

--------------------------------------------------

My Children, never shun an honest day’s labor, nor a task heartily done. Prove yourself not only forthright, but indispensable, and who could ever replace you?

Save the Boss’s family, nepotism always trumps hard work.

-Aquinas Rimoude, the lone survivor, the fool who never forgot, our founder.