I was wrong. The giant one wasn’t 7 or 8 feet. No, he was 9 feet and more. The two of us had quickly packed my and Kevin’s possessions into our rucksacks. Kevin lay beside his armor, every so often letting out a low sob or moan.

“Can’t you heal him?”

“That is not in our power, we heal ourselves, not others.”

“But we obviously have an affinity for healing, don’t we?”

“Yes, but we lack compassion. Do not waste your time trying to heal others, focus more on how to better heal yourself.”

An old rickety wagon pulled by two mediocre horses pulled up just like he had promised after our deal. Our luxurious ride had arrived. The woman hopped down adeptly.

“You better be pleased brat, this is our only wagon. Do not be too amazed by its splendor.”

There were scratches, dents, rot, everywhere. The iron tongue and nails holding the wheels together rusted thoroughly. The leather harnesses were the only parts somewhat passable.

The man quickly threw in our belongings, then, gently, Kevin. He winced and muttered in his sleep, definitely buying more of that brand of sleeping potion. There was a sense of urgency as he quickly lifted me to the seat.

“The lamia corpse too, please.”

“?” The two looked at me strangely.

“Please put the lamia corpse in the back with Kevin.”

“Why?”

“It’s still worth money to the right buyer.”

“Idiot.”

The hulking figure walked briskly to the corpse, dragging the pungent thing to our wagon. He threw it in. It landed with a plop next to Kevin, the sliced open portion facing him. Viscera flowed out, puddling between the carcass and him. I smiled at the odd bit of fortune this night

“Ride fast, We shall hold them off, but others may form. The Spire’s barrier will protect you, only stop once you are inside.”

He roughly smacked the rear of the closest horse. There was a strained “Neigh!”, and the wagon was quickly moving. I held the reins tight, praying the wagon didn’t disintegrate before we arrived. There was another sound. It was familiar, yet at the same time alien. A growl, so guttural and rasping that it continuously interrupted itself.

“GRR-RR-RR-GR-RR-RR!”

Godsdamnit, I just knew I was going to find out what a bark was tonight…

I whipped both nags’ rumps, causing them to change from a slow trot into a fast one. The wagon wheels hit uneven patches, terribly shaking the old wagon. I pressed against the hole in my chest, the rocking and throttling causing it to ache worse than before.

I held the reins tight, ready at a moment’s notice to pull back. There was a brake handle on the right side of the seat, but I had a feeling it wouldn’t do anything other than shatter to pieces.

I heard loud explosions and burning behind me. I turned for just a moment to see the red and orange hues in the distance. Bad deal or not, I couldn’t deny the benefits. I whipped the horses lightly every so often to keep them going at full speed (I was afraid being any rougher would cause their ragged hides to fall off).

The road was straight, thank the Gods. Had it any curves, our jolty wagon would likely have tipped over. I stole a glance at Kevin, he was tossing and moaning, but still alive. The carcass of the lamia still propped next to him. He was not going to enjoy the way he smelt tomorrow.

I patted the pouch strapped to my body, hanging to the left of my chest. The unusually small rectangular box was still there, safe and sound. I felt the vials as well, but they wouldn’t be helpful if I got into a confrontation. Kevin might get pissed at me, but I could rightly say I was just trying to save his life. If we died, he could bitch all he wanted. The Gods would no doubt send him to hell with me as my eternal suffering.

We rode for 20 minutes before I heard another growl from behind us, this one ghostly.

“Ahh-woooo!”

Wolves now? I turned, but all I could see in the darkness behind us was the glow. Now white… Huh? Why wasn’t it orange? And shouldn’t it be too far to see now? I continued to stare back until I could make out a shape in the midst of the light; an ethereal, Godsdamn glowing, wolf.

The wolf’s teeth were bared as it ran after us, or maybe I just thought they were. It didn’t really matter now. I whipped the horses harder, cursing that they couldn’t run at a full gallop while pulling a wagon. The Spire couldn’t be too far now thanks to me and Kevin covering most of the distance this morning. It was too dark to see the spire, but I noticed a low sliver of the sky where there weren’t any stars. We were almost there, come on, come on!

The snarling was getting closer, I turned again to see the wolf only 30 feet from us. Time for the big crossbows… I pulled out the rectangular box.

“Activate!”

No.

“On!”

Nope. Wait, Kevin said there was a button you pressed. The strange material was hard, every piece rectangular. The edges were well rounded, expert craftsmanship. I didn’t see any damned clothing buttons anywhere, ahh! I frantically felt the device and found that the thin sides had protrusions, I pressed and held them down pleading for the thing to do something.

“Beep!”

There was a demonic sound as I saw a swirling image form, underneath of which were strange letters. Next the picture changed to an image of a cylinder on its side, cut into portions. The last, tiniest portion, was filled red. Red, red, red… Clearly this was a fire device, or maybe it was one of those settings he mentioned?

“Lightning!”

Nothing

“Change to lightning!”

Nada.

“Mother of the Gods, freaking lightning!”

I shook the device hard, but the fire setting remained. I turned to face my fury, it was now only 2 or 3 feet from the wagon. Please, please work… I sat on the reins, and quickly turned to my left while my right hand pulled back. The beast leapt, coming straight for me.

In seconds I saw the profile of my enemy. It was not as wolf-like I thought, no, it was something far worse. The snout protruded farther out, and was circular. There were three rows of teeth, jagged things meant for cutting. Myriad slanted eyes blinked independently of each other. It had five legs, the fifth underneath the center of its body, stretching with the front two dangerously towards me. Its form was a slightly opaque white that illuminated around for yards.

I squinted my eyes and threw the cell phone, not knowing if the fire setting would do anything against the beast. The two collided over the box of the wagon. The phone passed easily through the creature’s facade. I cursed as I watched the monster sail towards me, and the device go through its body. The beast’s claws near my face, “Beeeeeeppppppp!”

Just before the unholy nails touched me, the cell phone screen showed the strange cylinder, now filled green. The ethereal form fell backward with the cell phone, anchored by whatever otherworldly magic to the small box. Both hit the ground behind me as the wagon sped forward. The illumination, and the ghost wolf, were diminishing, being sucked into the device.

“Ahh-Grrr-Ahh!” The beast howled as the otherworldly device fully absorbed it, the snout being the final bit to disappear. The screen glew brighter and brighter in the distance until…

“Booommmm!”

Gods, I love cell phones…

I retook the reins and focused on the path ahead. There were more howls, but they were much farther away. The nags were breathing heavily, but they were not slowing. It took another few minutes of traveling before I saw the gate and dark gray walls. There were two small towers flanking the gate, myriad metal rods and wires covering each. The windows glew red with mana. I pulled the reins and we came to rest just before the shut gate.

There was a thin old man sleeping in a wicker chair atop the rampart.

“Open the gates!”

The old man started. He snorted before rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He looked down at me, his aggravation evident.

“Do you know what bloody time it is, fool!?”

“Sir, please open the gate, there’s something chasing us, we need entry!”

“Sounds like a personal problem to me,” he said unperturbed.

“We’re 4th regiment soldiers, here for mage training!”

“Don’t bloody care, gates close at sunset, open at sunrise. Come back then.”

He leaned forward in his chair, his eyes carefully surveying me and the wagon.

“Sir, please!”

“Rules is rules.”

Godsdamn lazy bastard…

I thought quickly, the snarling that was following us growing louder.

“Sir, if two soldiers go missing, the army’s going to need replacements. And who do you think they’ll take? Most likely the one responsible for letting us die!”

He cackled, his whole frame shaking in laughter.

“And who’s a’gonna tell them you made it to the gates? Ways I see it, you and your buddy there died in the forest, probably by that damned serpent.”

Things were not going as I had hoped. I swiveled around and noticed movement in the distance. Sweat dripped down my forehead, maybe I could get the old geezer with a knife throw before whatever’s coming got me. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless…

“Well I’ll be damned, looks like you went and caught you’selves a water lami! Tell you what, I might be willing to open the gates a smidge, for the right price.”

“What do you want?”

“The lami in the back, all of it.”

I held back my smile, the corpse was still worth a fair price, but nothing compared to what I already extracted.

“Fine! The entire lamia corpse in the back is yours, just please open the GODSDAMN GATE!”

The codger smiled in triumph. He got up lazily. Leisurely he cracked his back in a series of loud pops. He casually rubbed his hands together. Then he muttered an incantation and his right hand deftly performed a series of movements. The gates slowly opened inwards. I whipped the horses and they lurched forward. We had to halt again as the space was still not enough. The growling was louder, the shapes now clearly visible.

I used the whip liberally; the horses neighed and desperately squeezed through. The wagon’s sides scraped noisily against the wood.

“Holds your horses! Damned young’uns!”

I disregarded his rebuke and urgently pushed through. I pulled the wagon over to the right, alongside the wall. I grabbed my short sword from the back and jumped down. The agony hit me as my feet landed, and my face proceeded downwards, hitting the ground. I heard another cackle before my bearings returned. Gods how I hated everyone…

I stumbled to my feet and hobbled over to the slowly closing gate, dragging my sword. I had the distinct impression that if any of those things get through the gate, that old man wouldn’t be helping. I stood several feet back from the center, only a foot of clearance left. I took a knee and angled my sword upwards hoping to use the enemies’ momentum against them. I saw them now, monstrosities just like the ghostly one, only far more corporeal.

They had the same snouts and fifth leg which thumped the ground at an angle to give them extra sprint. Their bodies were tangles of woody vines, horribly twisted and snarled. Brown was the predominant theme, with some small ivy leaves for detail. The fangs and claws were razor sharp, obviously aiming for me. A 20-foot-wide fiery ball from the top of a wall tower collided with them.

Most of the beasts were obliterated. The few still alive still trying to move, howling in pain as their fragments burned. I watched them struggle in vain as the gate finally shut with a soft thud. I fell to my knees, the pain in my chest all consuming. So damn tired…

Events became hazy and disjointed. I remembered a strange hut where the water lamia was dropped off, the stables, a young cleric who took Kevin, and then being escorted for a time without end to a small room. The old man said things, but it had taken all of my focus just to follow him this far. He finished with some witty insult, slamming the door shut in my face.

I fell backwards onto the floor, my hands clutching the hidden vials strapped around my chest.

“Won’t let anyone steal you…”

My eyes closed and I happily dreamt of innumerable cell phone equipped bandoleers.

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“Ka-Boooommmm!”

A large section of pristine, verdant green forest was obliterated in an instant, replaced by scorched brown soil. Ah, good times, good times…

I took another cell phone from the bandoleer and threw it at an adjacent patch of woods.

“Ka-Boooommmm!”

I laughed hysterically as I saw little, ablaze, woodland creatures running desperately trying to put themselves out.

“That’s what you get for assaulting me!”

My hand wiped something from my eye. I was crying.

I’m just..

Just so…

So freaking happy! This is the best day of my life!

There was movement to my left. I proactively took two cellphones from my self-replenishing bandoleer and pivoted to face my foe. It was a charcoal gray cloud in the shape of a man, his features amorphous as his body constantly wisped and swirled. I threw my explosives. I licked my lips anticipating the sweet destruction, yet my projectiles vanished before the thing. I stood in shock as it slowly approached, stopping a few feet from me.

“What are you?”

“The sheriff,” his voice resonated within me.

“You going to imprison me for hunting in the local lord’s forest?” I said mockingly, pulling out two more cell phones.

No one liked sheriffs, especially not when they were collecting taxes or interfering with some good-natured wrongdoing. He laughed.

“This is your forest. You are the lord here,” I couldn’t see his mouth, but I felt the intense emotions that were coming from him; annoyance, resentment, indignation.

I looked at him dubiously, this wasn’t quite like any dream I’d had before.

“Then what do you want?”

“Just a moment of your time, Lord,” the last word muttered sarcastically, “In another day, the walls’ll be rebuilt. Not perfect mind you, but good enough. Please try not to level the entire damned citadel the next time you’re out and about.”

I looked at him perplexed, citadel? The forest and ground around me were beginning to blur and smoke, turning into a hazy gray. My vision faded as that singular color encompassed everything.

Before the last remnants of my dream evaporated, that voice reached me one final time.

“I promise you, the next time you foul up, you will be the one rebuilding the walls. Brick, by brick…”

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Gods, just how many bastards do I have to deal with in one night?

-Tome Rimoude