“You look tired.” Kaylen stated as he placed his tray on the table across from me before sitting down. I looked up, only now noticing that he and Emerson had approached and were looking at me with a bit of concern in their eyes.

“Why, thank you, how nice of you to notice. It is always nice to compliment a lady’s looks, you know?” I managed to snark before a yawn slipped past my control, forcing me to cover my mouth or they could have examined me for cavities. Their only reaction was a raised eyebrow on Kaylen’s part and a soft chuckle from Emerson.

“Would it help if I told you that you look great, as if you are bursting to go out to the nearest club?” Emerson asked in turn, eliciting snort from me.

“Given that I doubt there are any clubs within a couple of light-years, depending which theory of hyperspace you subscribe to, yes, it would. A year of sleep sounds quite good at the moment.” I replied, having lost most of my snark, simply too tired to keep it up.

While Commodore Ryker wasn’t using the whole ship for his training, the simulator-scenarios he had run us through had been difficult and challenging, especially with only the few hours of sleep I had managed to grab after being interviewed on the Fleet-Station.

“Didn’t your boss get the memo that we are back to normal duty-routine, no longer the intensive training of the last week?” Kaylen asked, while Emerson started to stuff his face. It was a routine we had followed most days on the Merathorn, at least when I hadn’t been asked to sit with my fellow pilots during the last week. The two of them, along a couple others, were on roughly the same schedule so we often met in the mess either before or after our duty. The in-between status of Cadets meant that we naturally gravitated to each other, to be part of a group. We were not real officers yet but had command-authority over the enlisted. Not that Starfighter-Command had any enlisted to command but that was beside the point.

“I think Commodore Ryker had a list of simulations he wanted to run me through, to make sure I don’t embarrass him when I get back to the Academy. With the last week, there is a certain backlog that we have to run through.” I explained, not quite telling the truth but letting the admiration I had for Commodore Ryker shine through. He was a great officer, of that I was convinced, and I wanted to learn as much from him as I could.

“Sucks to be you.” Emerson chuckled. “At least you won’t get tossed around in zero-gravity while trying to repel boarders.” he added, the grin of his face telling me that he, too, remembered one of the exercises of last week during which he and his fellow marines had thoroughly demonstrated to me and the others why we had guys like them on the ship.

“Don’t remind me.” Kaylen muttered, obviously he hadn’t enjoyed the exercises as well. “The drills in engineering were bad enough but the counter-boarding exercises? I think if we are ever boarded, I’ll just let the reactor overload and be done with it.”

Just the idea of an intentional reactor overload was enough to make me blanch, there wouldn’t be anything left of the Merathorn. The anti-matter torpedos we used to break enemy capital ships used a tiny amount of antimatter, just a few grams, to break enemy ships. Sure, the torpedos we used turned the antimatter into the equivalent of plasma, allowing it to wreak havoc on electric systems like the shields protecting Starships from cosmic radiation and small meteors but if antimatter went off inside a ship those ships would hardly matter. And the reactor on a ship the size of the Merathorn was fueled by a ton of antimatter, eliminated in a slow, very, very careful process. An intentional overload would release all of that in a single burst, rivalling a miniature supernova.

“Just kidding.” Kaylen reassured me, having seen the expression on my face as I had tried to picture the explosion. It was something I wouldn’t want to witness unless I was a light-second or so away, with another good way to leave the area shortly after.

“Some things are just not funny.” I scolded him, not amused at all.

“All kidding aside, there is a protocol for situations in which an intentional reactor-overload is the recommended course of action.” he explained, making me somehow lose my appetite. Luckily, I had been mostly done with my food anyway.

“Yeah, I know. Even we marines received instruction how to cause one, if the battle is lost and somehow we are the only ones left. Or maybe so we can destroy enemy ships if we manage to board them but can’t take them. Go out in a blaze of glory and all that.” Emerson added, sounding rather grim at that.

It reminded me of a maneuver in Starfighter-combat, it was called divine wind and to be used when the battle was lost and a pilot knew they wouldn’t be able to get home. At that point, we were supposed to find the largest enemy ship, put our Starfighter to maximum acceleration and keep accelerating, until we hit, turning us into a relativistic weapon. Even if we just managed to get to our rated speed, the energy released by fifteen tons of Starfighter hitting at a significant percentage of the speed of light would be enough to break most ships. Chances of such a suicidal attack working were quite low, but low was not nil.

“Let’s not go there.” I told the others, desperately trying to find something to lighten the mood.

“True. Did you hear that your fellow Starfighter Cadet managed to talk Sulima out of her shipsuit?” Kaylen asked, a naughty grin on his face. I merely groaned at that, wondering just where Ryan was finding the energy to play bunk-bunny, I had been dragging every day after the training Commodore Ryker put me through, even my own reading had been largely neglected.

“Before we start gossiping about the other cadets, why don’t you tell us what is going on with you and the other Starfighter-officers?” Emerson asked, “You’ve been eating with a few of them during the last few days, especially that hot red-head.” he continued, his eyebrows making a happy dance that hinted at all kinds of things, especially with the earlier comment about the newest bunk-bunnies.

I felt myself glare at him, simply for having the audacity to speak like that about Commander Siloh and the other officers who had taken it upon themselves to make sure I wasn’t losing it due to the Commodore’s harsh training-program.

“They make sure I don’t crack under the pressure and put an antimatter-torpedo down the Merathorn’s throat.” I grumbled, giving them another glare for good measure. “You know, flying a Starfighter is stressful, especially with the additional training we’ve been doing and it would be a true tragedy if I snapped, wouldn’t it?” I continued, trying to modulate my voice in such a way that made me sound slightly hysterical simply to mess with their heads.

Just judging from the expression on their faces, I could see that it was working. I managed to keep my facial features stuck in a slightly manic grin for a few moments before I started laughing at their faces.

“Don’t worry, I’m fine.” I reassured them after laughing for a bit, not wanting them to go to my, or worse, their, superiors about the insane woman piloting a Starfighter. Commander Siloh would have had a good laugh at it, but I wasn’t so sure about Commodore Ryker or any of the other officers. “I really am. But I’m due for a nice, relaxing session in my bed, I have a feeling I’ll need the sleep for my next session. Sleep well, you two.” I added, while standing up and carrying my tray away.

As I walked away, part of me considered my behaviour over the last few years. While I had experimented a bit back home, just to see what it was like and what I liked, I hadn’t felt a need to continue that experimentation at the Academy. Partially because I simply wanted to focus on my studies, partially because the woman I was crushing on wasn’t interested in women. In addition, while both Emerson and Kayle had their charms, especially Emerson with his tall, muscular body, I didn’t want a simple lay and trying to form a relationship just before graduation seemed short-sighted.

Shaking my head, I banished those weird thoughts from my head, focusing on more productive endeavours, like not walking into a wall on the way back to my cabin. In my exhausted state, that was a distinct possibility that I wanted to avoid.