Life is a series of regrets. The mind is constantly worrying about the future and, even worse, the past. It is constantly rehearsing conversations and events. Thinking of what was said, what might’ve been said, what may yet be said, thus regret is born.

From a young age, I instinctively began to isolate myself from the troubles of the world. It’s not that I’m afraid of contact with others. On the contrary, I can hold a conversation as well as any normal person. I suppose if I had to give a reason, it’s that I simply wasn’t very interested in the affairs of others or of society in general. Fleeting relationships, politics, conflict, drama, even love, all of it feels like a tedious exercise to me. An exercise in futility. Why should I bother with things that I have no interest in?

I was born in the kingdom known as Amisos. As the only son of King Leo the third, the current ruler of this country, my privileged status guaranteed that I lacked nothing. As the crown prince, it was expected that I would grow up healthy and strong so that I would eventually inherit my father’s title and responsibilities. This didn’t really interest me however. At the age of 7, it was discovered that my aptitude for magic was remarkable. At age 9, I became one of the youngest people to ever be admitted into Amisos Magic Academy, the best school in the kingdom. All of my efforts were poured into my studies and experiments. Magic is fascinating to me and through it I gained a front-row seat to the inner workings of the universe. Joy filled my soul as I learned about natural phenomena, how mana flows through everything and how it all fits into the big picture. Best of all, it gave me the perfect excuse to stay away from the kingdom’s politics and drama.

Life in the academy was normal and quite fulfilling. My grades in magic were at the top of the class, as would be expected of the amount of effort I put into them. Natural science classes were also interesting. Some history and economics classes were taken as filler. Of course, I stayed away from anything directly related to politics. This was easy because of my position as the crown prince. Even if people had objections, no one in the academy could stop me from doing what I wanted. This eventually became a problem because it prevented me from graduating due to lack of required classes. “So be it, I will stay in this academy as long as possible. It doesn’t matter if I never graduate” is what I thought to myself. In time, this happy and worry-free life at the academy would end, but I pushed this thought aside. My father still has many years to live and he is healthy, so I don’t need to worry about inheriting his title for a while. No sense worrying about things far in the future that I have no control over.

By the time I turned 13 years-old, my studies were going well enough that books were no longer enough to improve my magic skills. I had mastered all of the basic, elemental magic systems such as earth, fire, water and air. I began researching the more exotic systems: arcane, dark, and chaos magic. Unfortunately there was little information on them because they are tricky, dangerous and also banned in most countries. That doesn’t matter to me though because I study alone, so I began to conduct private experiments to discover what was missing from the books. As far as I’m concerned, there is no such thing as forbidden knowledge. All knowledge is useful in some way and I just need to keep my mouth shut to avoid trouble. Magical experiments started to occupy more and more of my time and focus.

At age 15, I made my first real friend. He is the same age as me and is named Alex. He shares my fascination with magic. We met in the academy’s library and became friends thanks to our shared interests. Unlike me, he doesn’t seek solitude and is actually a trouble-maker. It seems a lot of his interest in magic comes from his desire to play pranks and fool around. Despite that, we enjoy each other’s company.

Like many people in the magic academy, Alex is a noble from a wealthy family that has relations with the royal family. I care little for my own family’s affairs, so of course I never asked him about his. As long as we could study and have fun together, there was no need to intrude. Since he also shares my distaste for politics, we were able to live a quiet and fulfilling life in the academy for several years.

I am currently 18 years old, a grown man as some might say. Until recently, I was looking forward to many more years of peace and quiet in the academy. I knew that it would end. Nobles and other people from the royal palace will eventually come and force me into some tedious governing position so that I could gain experience for my future role as king. What I did not expect is that my normal life would come crashing down so spectacularly. Could this have been prevented? Maybe. Could I have said or done something differently to avoid this situation? Maybe. Countless possibilities flooded my mind as I looked back through my memories, but one thing sticks out. This situation could have been avoided. I could have avoided it. It’s my fault.

My name is Rigel and I am in regret.

Thank you for reading. This is my first attempt at writing fiction. Tips, suggestions, comments and criticism are welcome. Please keep it constructive if possible.