Waking up in an egg was something I never thought would happen to me in all my 25 years of life. Covered in eggs? Sure, I’ve been to wild parties. Eating eggs? I sleep eat sometimes; it happens.

But never ever have I woken up in one. I’ve dreamed of some things about eggs but never this far, nosiree.

I knew Margaret could get pretty crazy and do some things while the rest of her party guests were passed out drunk, but where would she get a giant egg from? That little old lady is full of surprises.

“I need to get up on outta here,” I muttered, shifting in the mess of gooey egg yolk. “Heavens to Betsy, this is ridiculous. Switching the potato salad for tuna did not warrant this kind of response, Margaret!”

Some twenty minutes later I managed to find my way out of that egg and into...the great outdoors? It’s nowhere I’ve been, that’s for sure.

Texas doesn’t have rolling green hills and green-blue skies, I know that for a fact. “What in tarnation is this place?” I muttered, bringing one paw up to my forehead to shade my eyes from the violet sun.

Hold on a minute.

Paw?

I looked down at what I had assumed to be my normal human hand to find something akin to a hairless dog paw with little nubs sticking out at the tips. My gaze traveled up my arm to my shoulders and twisted my head to look at my hindlegs, finding the thin, pinkish skin covered me in entirety.

“Lord almighty, Margaret, what did you do to me?” I cried.

Welcome to the world, newborn Hill Dragon! ◟ʕ ´∀` ʔ◞

It’s time to choose your Name of names! (*≧▽≦)

Choose wisely! ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

My Name of names, huh? Well, my name’s Daphne, although I don’t know why it’d be wise for me to-

Congratulations, Daphne is now your Name of names! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Be sure to keep it quiet! You don’t want anybody to know! (/o.o)

Good luck! ヾ(＾∇＾)

A wave of pain washed over me and all I knew was darkness.

*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*――*☆*

I woke up famished and lying on a bed of flowers. It would’ve been nice if my stomach wasn’t trying to gorge on the rest of my admittedly small body.

Groaning, I rolled over onto my back and rubbed my empty tummy. “If I could get me a nice cheeseburger and a Coke, I’d be happier than a dead pig in the sunshine,” I muttered, picking at my rubbery skin.

Ooh, that steamed bread sprinkled with sesame seeds; the warm, gooey cheese dripping down the side of that hot, hot meat. Oh, the pickles and onions drenched in ketchup. A nice glass a Coca Cola, the fizz bubbling up over the side. The ice sparkled in the sun. I could see it right in front of my eyes, just taunting me.

Something skinny and yellow shot out and licked the mirage floating before me, disrupting the image and sending it away. Confused, I tried to find whatever the thing was. I twisted onto my side and a flower brushed against my snout, tickling me a bit. Absentmindedly, I brushed my paw against my nose to rub the feeling away only to notice I wasn’t using a paw, but that skinny yellow thing.

“Lord almighty,” I gasped. “That’s my tongue!”

What in tarnation was I?

Hi, there! (≧∇≦)/

You seem to be a little confused! (ﾟ∀ﾟ　)??

Here’s a little help from your friendly neighborhood system!

(✌ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ [Think ‘status’]

Those weird little emoticon thingies were mighty disturbing, but if they’re telling me the right thing to do…

“Status.”

You opened your status for the first time! Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ Yaaaay! Are you ready to see just how totally not awesome you are? (ノ*゜▽゜*)

Name: N/A

Age: 1 hour

Sex: F

Job: Unemployed

Condition: Starving

Species: Hill Dragon (Juvenile)

Class: None

Mana Generation: None

Magic Use: None

Faction: None

Health: 40% (-1% every minute Starving Condition in effect)

Stamina: 40% (-1% every minute Starving Condition in effect)

Mana: 0%

Strength: Low (1)

Speed: Low (2)

Constitution: Low (1)

Defense: Low (1)

Endurance: Low (2)

Effects:

None

Hoard:

Empty

Spells:

None

“Well, I’ll be,” I murmured. “No wonder I’m feeling so bad. Where can I get some grub ‘round here?”

I spent the next fifteen minutes wandering around the valley, searching for something to eat. I knew dragons ate meat so I assumed the best course of action was to find something meaty to chow down on. When my Health and Stamina reached 20%, however, I gave up and found a tasty-looking flower.

My “tongue” flicked out, gently brushing against a vibrant purple petal. The entire plant recoiled at the light touch and sprayed pollen in my face. I jerked back, throwing my head to the side as the pollen sent me sneezing like a sick dog near pepper. My eyes reflexively shut as my nose kept blasting away.

When I could finally get my bearings, I opened my eyes only to find my vision in a light greenish haze. Confused, I shook my head and blinked rapidly. Was this was another attack from the flower?

No, wait. The lizards I used to catch as a little kid with my brothers always had two eyelids. Was that the same deal with me?

I closed my eyes again then slowly opened what I was thinking the outer eyelid was. Sure enough, that light green haze was there. From there, it wasn’t that hard to open the second lid.

A warning growl startled me from my discovery. Right. I had work to do and there wasn’t much time left to do it. I would have to eat this flower or die trying, and mama didn’t raise a quitter.

I opened my muzzle wide and thrust my head forward, snapping down on the flower. I jerked my head back, tearing the plant from its roots and hopefully killing it before it could sneeze attack me again. I could feel the petals flopping around, spraying pollen into the back of my throat. It felt awful but I refused to let the darned thing go.

The battle ended fairly quickly when I forced myself to start chewing the thing. The little box thing popped up, congratulating me on my ‘first kill’.

Congratulations! You just killed your first monster! d=(´▽｀)=b

Too bad it was a simple Sneezer, huh? (ノ*゜▽゜*)

You have gained 1x Sneezer petal in your hoard! ≧(´▽｀)≦

Now eat a bunch more and you might not die! Good luck! ヾ(＾∇＾)

I stared out into the scattered ‘Sneezers’ and groaned. This was going to take a while.