“Why am I still here?” asked Phil. He just wanted to go back to his apartment, forget everything that had happened, and bury himself in his games. It didn’t feel like they were holding him hostage, but he also got the sense that they wouldn’t let him leave. He didn’t even know where his phone was, or his wallet now that he thought about it. The usual lump was missing from his back pocket.

“Do you not enjoy the company of three beautiful women?” Reese asked as she helped herself to some food.

“Um,” Phil started. “I’m not good around women. Never have been.”

“And now you’ve been thrust into a group of them. Might want to get used to it.”

“Get used to it? I killed the man one was in love with, one looks like she’d rather gut me than talk to me, and you…”

Reese looked at him out of the corner of her eye as she munched on some bacon. “I…”

Phil swallowed. “You… you’re half naked! It’s very distracting. And why should I get used to it? Just give me my stuff back and let me go home. I promise I’ll never talk about what happened last night. It’ll haunt my nightmares, sure, but I won’t tell a soul,” he pleaded. The sooner he got out of here, the sooner he could get on with his life and pretend last night was nothing but a bad dream.

Reese took a drink of her orange juice, then half turned to face him. “Ok, first, I’ve lived here longer than you, so I can dress however I’d like. Two, your stuff is safe and you’ll get it back soon. Three, you’re gonna have to talk about what happened last night when the council representative gets here. Four, I can’t help you with the nightmares. That’s just something you’ll have to learn to deal with on your own.”

As flustered as she made him, Phil was still sharp enough to catch her exact wording. “What the hell do you mean ‘I’ve lived here longer than you?’ I don’t live here. I live downtown.” He pointed at the door leading to the living room he’d woken up in. “That is definitely not downtown! I don’t even know where that is.”

Reese snapped her fingers and a card popped into existence in front of Phil, bouncing off the table a couple times before settling. He picked it up and looked at it. It was just a plain white card with a black strip along the top. He gave Reese a perplexed look.

“That’ll grant you access to the house, your room, the library, and the gym. Try not to use the gym when Britt’s in there at first, or you’ll be completely unable to move the next day or three.”

Phil shot to his feet. “Now just a minute!”

A loud chime ended any discussion on the subject before it could even get started. Reese looked towards the ceiling and sighed, getting out of her seat.

“That’ll most likely be the council rep. Go wait in the living room while I get dressed. Rose and Brittany will join us there as well.” She left before Phil could say anything. Numbly, he pocketed the card and made his way out the door he entered earlier.

*

“So, you maintain that, while accidental, the death of Bruce Wright was both inevitable and necessary?” The council representative, who had simply introduced himself as Jack, was a gentleman that looked to be in his mid-30s, dressed in a sharp looking business suit with slicked back hair and a perfectly trimmed five o-clock shadow. He was currently standing in the middle of the room questioning the women who were lined up on the couch. Brittany was still in her workout gear, while Rose and Reese had taken a couple minutes to throw on some jeans and t-shirts, although Reese still sported the grime on her face and arms. All three nodded an affirmative to his question while Phil did his best to turn invisible in the recliner he had claimed. The rep shook his head in frustration, then whispered something to the stern looking woman that accompanied him. He’d made no effort to introduce her, and she’d said nothing the entire time they’d been grilled.

“Frankly, ladies, we’re astounded. You suspected an alignment shift in the party leader, but instead of saying anything to the council you approached the subject first? It never occurred to you that he’d do exactly what he did? Stop. Don’t answer that. I already know the reason why.” He shook his head again. “This is exactly why we discourage romantic relationships within the party. It clouds your judgement.” Rose turned red and pulled her knees up to her face on the couch. The soft sound of her crying could be heard by everyone in the room. Jack turned to Phil.

“And you, sir, are either incredibly brave or incredibly stupid. Either way, you’re exceedingly lucky.” The woman next to Jack looked at Phil, then suddenly moved over to him, leaning down to take a look into his eyes. When Phil attempted to avert his gaze, she roughly grabbed his chin and held him still. She stared at him for a couple seconds, then, still gripping his chin, turned to look at Reese, who shrugged and nodded.

“That’s starting to hurt, ma’am,” Phil managed to get out. The woman looked back at him, quirked an eyebrow, then released him, rejoining Jack in the center of the room. She didn’t say a word to him, but he seemed to know what had happened. He rubbed his face with both hands before flopping down in a recliner opposite Phil’s.

“Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?” he lamented.

“I’m afraid not, sir,” said Reese, showing a surprising amount of deference from Phil’s point of view. “They were face to face when Bruce died. He caught the dying breath.”

“Why do you keep talking about that?” Phil asked. Reese glanced over at him, then looked back at Jack, whose stately manner earlier had all but evaporated as he slouched in the chair. Jack heaved a heavy sigh, then began to explain.

“When a party leader dies, their… essence, if you will, departs to find a new host. This usually takes a fair amount of time. Years, even. Usually long enough for the party members’ bonds to break down and find a new party if they wish or seek retirement and live a normal life. You, my incredibly unlucky friend, were face to face with him when he died. You… inhaled that essence before it had a chance to depart his body completely. As such, his party is now yours.” He leaned forward in his seat. “Mr. Thomas, you are now these ladies’ party leader. My congratulations and condolences.”

Phil stared at Jack, then looked at the women on the couch. Rose was still hiding behind her knees. Brittany was pointedly not making eye contact. Reese shrugged again and smirked.

“Welcome to the Adventurers Guild, Phil.”

Phil started giggling. He didn’t know why. He couldn’t stop himself. This was all a joke, right? Some B-List celebrity was going to jump out from that door over there and yell “Gotcha!” any moment now, right? This was all too absurd. Give me a break, he thought. He didn’t care that everyone was staring at him now. Even Rose had lifted her head to stare at him. He started laughing. This was all so stupid. This was something you read in some crappy story. This didn’t happen in real life.

“You’re all fucking nuts, you know that?” he finally said. “Adventurers Guild? Magic essence? Party leader? You’re looney!” He stood up. “Where’s my phone and my wallet? I’m getting out of here.”

“Phil…” Reese began.

“Get me my fucking stuff!” he barked. The three women on the couch immediately stiffened at his tone. Then, to his surprise, Reese shot to her feet and made her way over to the fireplace. Placing her hand on a marbled tile, it glowed briefly before popping open with a click. She reached inside a small cubby hole and pulled out his wallet, phone, and keys, then brought them over and deposited them in his hands. Then she slapped him.

“This is why you need to stay here. You’re completely unaware of the power you now have. I’m lucky that’s all you’ve demanded today aside from calling you Phil. We don’t know the extent of what you’ve inherited from Bruce, and you have no idea what’s out there that can sense what’s in you. Until you’re trained, you are both a danger and in danger. If you still want to leave, we won’t stop you, but we’re not responsible for what happens after you walk out that door.”

Reese stepped aside, holding her arm out towards the door. All eyes were on Phil, and it felt like an overbearing weight pushing down on him. Unable to take the pressure, he quickly made his way to the foyer. He paused long enough to slip into his shoes barefoot (he had no idea where his socks had gone) then grabbed his coat off the hook before turning back to everyone.

“Th-thanks for breakfast,” he said, then stepped into the chilly morning air. The last thing he heard before the door closed behind him was Jack muttering.

“Son of a bitch.”

*

Phil walked down to the end of the road leading away from the house. He was stunned at how large the property was, likening it to an estate rather than just a simple home like he had grown up in. Finally reaching the end of the drive, he pulled out his phone to get a ride. He was a bit surprised to see the phone still had some life to it. He hadn’t had it on a charger since before he went out with Chuck, and this model phone was notorious for its short battery life. Speaking of Chuck, he noticed there were quite a few missed calls and text messages waiting for him. Securing a ride and learning he was only on the opposite side of town, he leaned up against the gate to the property and started going through his messages.

Unsurprisingly, most were from Chuck wanting to know where he was and if he was alright. He’d seen him walk away from the bar in the direction of the gas explosion and hadn’t seen or heard from him since. Get back to him as soon as he could. There were also a couple voicemails from work. The first one was wanting to know where he was. The second one was telling him that if he didn’t want to come in to work on time, then he shouldn’t come in to work at all, ever again.

“Well, shit,” he muttered. He’d have to stop by later and plead his case. May as well do that this afternoon after he’d had time to decompress. In the meantime, he should probably check in with Chuck and let him know he’s alright. He may have been an asshole of epic proportions, but he was still the only friend Phil had.

“Phil!”

“Hey, Chuck. Sorry to worry you, man. I’ve had a weird morning.”

“I’m just glad you’re alright, mi amigo. What happened?”

“Chuck! Come back to bed, baby! John’ll be home in four hours, and I want you to fuck me unconscious before then.”

Phil pulled his phone from his ear and looked at it with a raised eyebrow before putting it back.

“Was that Tina?”

Chuck laughed. “You bet your ass it was. I knew I’d get her in the end. And I have, too. Twice.”

“Gross.”

“Anyway, guess I better get my nose back to the ol’ grindstone. I’ll see ya later, buddy.”

Chuck hung up before Phil could say anything else. He shook his head.

“He really is going to get himself killed one day,” he said to himself as his ride pulled up. Just as he got comfortable in the backseat, his phone buzzed. Chuck had sent him a picture message. Opening it up, he saw the very same waitress who’d insulted Chuck last night handcuffed to a headboard with a blindfold over her eyes and wearing nothing else.

“She really does workout, doesn’t she?” he said to himself, admiring the abs and high, firm tits on display. Saving the picture to his phone gallery for future use, he settled back and watched the world move outside the window, doing his best to look deep in thought so the driver wouldn’t try to strike up a conversation.

Half an hour later he let himself into his apartment and flopped over the arm of his couch, landing face first in the cushion. He briefly thought about the look on Reese’s face as she’d handed him his stuff earlier. The anger and frustration she’d displayed had struck him to the core. It didn’t seem to be aimed completely at him, but enough of it was that it had helped push him out.

“What am I thinking about? Nothing happened. Nothing. I got drunk last night and woke up somewhere strange, that’s all,” he muttered in to the cushion. He would do his best to stick to what he’d said earlier. He’d forget anything happened. Never tell a soul. He didn’t kill that guy. He didn’t break his collarbone and see it healed. He didn’t have breakfast with three beautiful women. If he was being honest with himself though, he’d rather not forget that part, but remembering that meant remembering everything else. So, unfortunately, that had to go too. If Chuck asked what happened, he’d just say he had more to drink than he’d thought and woke up on a bench somewhere. He was sure that would work. Chuck would be more interested in bragging about his latest catch and going into far too much detail, as he always did. Phil was rather curious how he’d manage to snag Tina. He’d been under the impression she didn’t like Chuck, only tolerating him because he tipped well.

He half shrugged, knowing Chuck would fill him in later. Checking the time on his phone, Phil decided he had a couple hours for a nap, so he plugged his phone in to the charger and set the alarm before rolling on to his side and burying his face in to the back of the couch.

“You’ve just been told you’ve got the power to lead a group of beautiful women on epic adventures just like in those games you love to play, and your first response is to run home and take a nap?”

“What? Who said that?” John looked around. This was his apartment, but something seemed… off. He couldn’t quite place it.

“You know most guys would kill to be in your position. Sorry. Poor choice of words. You actually did kill to get this, didn’t you?”

“I don’t know who you are, but I didn’t mean to kill anyone. It was an accident. I just want to forget it and continue living my life.” He continued looking around, trying to find the source of the voice. He thought he saw some distortion in the air moving towards him, then it stopped.

“I’m sure you do. I’m not going to let you forget, however. Frankly, I’d take it as a personal insult. I’m the guy you killed after all.” The form solidified into a muscular blond man with a square jaw and shoulder length hair. He looked like he could easily take on any who stood in his way. The fact that he was only two feet tall did nothing to change Phil’s opinion.

“You’re, um… shorter than I remember.”

The man shrugged. “This is all that was left of me. The real me, before the asshole took over.”

“The asshole?”

“The man I turned in to. I try to think of him as a separate person. Helps assuage the guilt I feel. I’m not trying to say I was taken over by a demon or something like that. Sadly, my ego was my own undoing. I let my position and accomplishments go to my head. I felt the world owed me. I began to see the girls as mine, and not as my friends and teammates. I turned my back on a great woman that truly loved me, and what I did to Reese…” the tiny Bruce trailed off, his voice breaking at the end. Phil was intensely curious about what had happened to Reese but was smart enough to keep his mouth shut. Bruce gave him a grateful smile, which caught Phil off guard.

“Oh, right. I should probably explain a few things. One, you’re asleep right now, so I guess you could write this off as a dream later if you want. Two, I’m the essence you inhaled last night. The last remaining humanity in the hero formerly known as Bruce. You may continue to call me Bruce if it helps. Three, I highly recommend you return to the estate and seek their help. You haven’t a clue what kind of world you’ve been thrust in to, and your life is no longer truly your own.”

Fat chance of that happening, Phil thought, remembering the looks on everyone’s faces as he left. Not to mention he had to go beg for his job back later.

“I do not recommend that. Oh, sorry. I’m part of you now, so everything you know, I know. Including your thoughts. I know you’re never one to rock the boat. I know your sex life is dependent on your buddy’s scraps. I know Reese scared the hell out of you during breakfast. That actually surprised me. I’ve never seen her act like that with anyone before.”

Phil held up his hands. “Ok, slow down. What are you, exactly? A delusion? A spirit? Am I going crazy?”

“A delusion? No. A spirit? Not really, it’s complicated. Are you going crazy? Maybe? Maybe I’m not real and this is your unconscious mind trying to justify what you really want to do, even if you’re too scared to actually do it?”

“I mean, yeah, it would be cool to lead an adventuring party full of gorgeous women, but that’s only in stories and video games. In real life it would be terrifying. Not to mention I’m-”

“Terrible with women?” The tiny man smirked. “Do you think you’re the only one with that problem? Everyone starts out terrible with people. You need to man up and talk to them though. You may get shot down 99 times out of a hundred, but that one yes can help build your confidence. You’ve just given up too easily. Not everyone gets who they’re aiming for.”

“Chuck does,” said Phil. “He’s managed to get every girl he’s ever gone after. Some take longer than others, but he’s got a perfect record.”

Tiny Bruce laughed. “What a crock. No one does that. He’s been lying to you.”

Phil shook his head. “No, I’m serious. We’ve known each other since middle school. He lost his virginity before we even hit high school. Every girl he’s ever said he wanted, he got. What’s really strange, however, is that once he’s had them and moved on to the next, not a single one of them has had anything bad to say about him. No crazy exes, no jealousy, no clinginess. He gets them, has his fun, and parts with no issues.”

“That’s simply not possible. Someone always gets hurt. It may not be evident at first, but even if they seem fine, someone ends up crying into their pillow at night or something.”

“Nope. I’ve seen it firsthand. They treat him exactly the same afterwards as they had before. It’s almost like they never had their fun at all.”

Tiny Bruce immediately jumped up on the couch next to Phil with a worried look on his face.

“Like it never happened at all?”

“Yeah. There might have been some who broke up with their significant others afterwards, but they never pursued Chuck or anything like that. They just left their current guy or girl and moved on to someone else.”

Distantly, Phil heard knocking. Bruce turned and looked at the dream apartment door.

“Shit. You’re going to wake up now. Listen, Philip, you have to do both of us a favor. Do NOT-”

Phil was jerked awake. Someone was banging on his door loud enough to wake the dead. It took a couple seconds for him to regain his senses. What a crazy ass dream, he thought. The banging resumed.

“Alright, alright! I’m coming! Quit banging,” he yelled as rolled off the couch. Groggily, he checked his phone. Four in the afternoon with a missed alarm notification. “So much for going in to work,” he muttered. He padded over to the door, taking a peek through the eyehole before opening. He saw Chuck’s hazel eye staring back at him, warped through the walleye lens.

“Hey buddy! Open up! Have I got some bragging to do!”

Phil shook his head, something he felt he’d been doing entirely too much today. Unlocking the deadbolt, he opened the door a crack and walked back to his small kitchen, allowing Chuck to let himself in as he started rummaging for something to eat.

“So what happened to you last night, man? You left in a huff, and then disappeared just before the explosion.”

Phil poked his head around the separating wall between the living room and kitchen. “Explosion?”

“Yeah, man!” Chuck said excitedly. “Whole damn intersection went up. They’re saying it was a gas main rupture or something. Looks like a small nuke went off if you ask me. I got worried when I couldn’t get ahold of you after that.”

“Not so worried that you couldn’t help but hook up with Tina though, right?”

Chuck laughed. “Hey man, when an opportunity drops in your lap like that, you gotta take it. And boy, did it drop in my lap. The explosion knocked us off our feet in the bar, and next thing I know I’m on the ground and she’s laying on top of me. Maybe she was just thankful I broke her fall or something, but she looked me in the eye and told me to swing by this morning. Six hours later and here I am, satisfied and dehydrated. You got a beer?”

“Yeah, hang on.” Phil went to the fridge and grabbed a couple cans. “You’re playing with fire, man. If John finds out, your life is forfeit, you know that, right?” Phil took the beer in to the living room and held it out to Chuck. When Chuck reached up to take it, his finger brushed Phil’s, sending an alarming spark to Phil’s mind and he locked up. Chuck’s eyes went wide for a second before he hung his head in resignation.

“So, something interesting happened last night after all.”

“Uh…” Phil couldn’t speak. Something felt horribly wrong with this situation.

Chuck sighed. “Dammit. You were always such a good source, too. Totally convinced of your own ineptitude. I even actually liked you.” He shook his head. “Shame.”

Phil couldn’t comprehend what was happening. Every fiber of his being screamed danger, but this was Chuck. His only consistent friend for fifteen years. The only thing dangerous about Chuck was his preference for unavailable women. He was still unsure of what to think even as Chuck dragged him out the front door and tossed him over the railing of his fifth floor apartment.