《Shades of grey》Shard
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Planet Gand, Pef Empire, Outer Rim
25 BBY
In orbit, aboard the imperial space station the Celestial Throne
Fourth month
My first copy of the power armor has just finished re-assembling when Lira and her ship dropped out of hyperspace, and having aboard two extra Force-sensitives, an amphibian sunesi and a crystalline one, probably a shard.
This will be trickier. The Sunesi felt like a Jedi.
I jumped inside my black Justice series droid, and then entered my power armor. The neck and armguards of my armor were laced with a phrik alloy, to prevent a skilled duelist from an easy win. Well, not really a win, but leaving me naked.
Final checks, meshing the codes and then encrypting them again.
Three Gand dischargers, in my arms and helmet, a light maser gun and a disruptor rifle backing them up. Deflector shield, particle shield, repulsor beams. The armor will do well I guess.
If the Jedi came for violence, he would live to regret it.
Sadly, the smallest tractor beam I could build so far only fitted on gunships.
Then I left workshop and then my apartment, and entered the room next door which was my Throne Room, which featured a golden dais, with the Golden Throne sitting splendidly in the middle.
But I avoided going to sit on it. The Jedi won't be impressed.
I just floated a centimeter above the floor and waited, next to the large Council table.
"Lira is back, and seems upset" Wialu said softly, not raising her head from her pad. One could never stop studying in this galaxy.
Millions of species discovered things all the time, either through xenoarchaeology, or by scientific experiments.
I had it easier, just downloading entire public databases from universities and other easily hacked terminals.
Vette looked at her than at me. "It's the green crystal isn't it. That's how you feel each other. That's such a cheat, when do I get mine?" she demanded, pouting cutely.
"When you're ready, Vette. How can I send you out into the galaxy, to speak in my name, if you do not share my goals?" I explained politely, then turned a little to include Celine into it.
"Just conquer the galaxy, simple. What's else could a crazy droid want?" Vette muttered, and punched her pillow.
I faked a short laugh. True enough.
"Come now Vette. You visited the Dream just yesterday. You saw the first forest growing. Lakes, with fish and lotus. Ammonia clouds gone. You visited the Servants and their school. You went and rescued some of them yourself. Are they better now?" I asked, just as the large doors opened and the Iron Knights delegation came in.
"Stupid droid, using my own acts against me. I'm going out again, and rescue more. Can I have my armor back?" she asked, arms crossed in front of her.
"Okay then. Try not to die, yet." I answered with a sigh.
Vette ran out, sticking her tongue out at the shard droid, as she passed the delegation. Really diplomatic, that one.
"Emperor Pef, I present you Jedi Master Aqinos, and his student, Iron Knightess Luxum." Lira proclaimed, touching her crystal.
'Really, a female crystal?' I sent with an amused tone in the bond. Lira nodded, amused as well.
"Really, Emperor Pef! I hear you were elected emperor for life by the Gand. After you terraformed the planet in its entirety." the Jedi said, having intercepted my message, or just skimmed it from Lira's surface thoughts.
"Yes, I did that. Took me almost three months. Had to modify a number of old nano-plagues to achieve the right balance." I answered, gesturing them to sit at the table.
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We sat at the table, and Wialu sat next to me, focusing on the shard-droid.
"Hmmm. Quite a remarkable achievement. I knew I sensed something in the Force, but it wasn't really clear. And your own being is shrouded, masking almost every emotion. You do seem similar to my own padawans" the sunesi Jedi said, carelessly placing a scanner on the table, and running scans on me. Good luck with that, turquoise Jedi. You won't find anything.
"Merely on the surface, esteemed Master. Or was that rank stripped away as well, when the Order declared you a heretic?"
I asked. while changing the readings on the scanner to make me look like Master Yoda.
The scanner beeped, and the jedi blinked twice in confusion.
"Master Yoda would never speak in clear sentences. Good joke tough. Anyway, I am still a Master, if not a Jedi anymore. I studied everything about the Force, even if the Jedi Council was small minded, the shards truly have the Force" he declared proudly.
"Studied you say. A Master you say. The Shards are interesting beings, with a nice force ability, but a single one, their electromagnetic senses. They live for millennia and then die, of natural causes. And you taught them lightsaber forms, to get them killed even sooner. In 50 years, their whole race will be extinct. And it will be your fault Master Aqinos" I declared, pointing at the Judge droid with a shard inside.
Luxum tried to protest, but I kept her droid still and silent.
"What? How... I would never do anything to hurt them. Some kind of cataclysm or a war, what did you see?" The heretic Master asked, trying to control his panic.
"You say you're a Master, but you didn't even notice me. My group had lived thousands of years undetected by the Jedi Order.
And there are thousands of groups like mine in the galaxy." Wialu spoke softly, placing a hand on the sunesi's shoulder.
"You're a Master too, but not of the Order. Altisian perhaps? Corellian Green Jedi?" the confused Master said, trying to locate Wialu, who sat down next to me, and invisible again.
"Go back to Dweem, initiate Aqinos. We'll speak again in two years, if you learn humility till then. Luxum will stay and learn from us." I declared, waving him away in a dismissive gesture. Damn the modern Jedi were feeble.
I let go of the technopathic control over the Iron Knightess, curious what she will do.
She looked around, then at her former Master, who seemed lost.
"Sorry Master Aqinos. If there's anything that could save my species, I want to stay and learn. May the Force be with you!" Luxum told him, bowing slightly with her droid chassis.
As my droids came to escort the former jedi out, I looked over the shard-droid and noticed a lightsaber hanging from her belt.
Toys for kids! I grabbed it up with telekinesis, and waved it around. Made pleasant sounds though.
"No more toys, dear Maid. Cybersecurity and infiltration. Guess you'll do just fine in my Black ops." I told her, tossing the damn thing over my shoulder. It landed perfectly on a pillow at the base of my throne.
The first of many to follow.
Planet Gand, Pef Empire, Outer Rim
25 BBY
In orbit, aboard the imperial space station the Celestial Throne
Fifth month
The small council was something I loved in a certain book, and I reverted to it, now that my rank wasn't in danger of being taken away. Most Findsmen were kept busy, exploring the sector for trade routes and diplomatic alliances.
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Twenty systems have joined the Empire, in all but name. Paying maintenance and salaries for the ships defending them, receiving new factories and jobs, getting rid of slavery, getting linked into the Empire holonet.
I messaged every individual leader through holocom, and urged them to establish planetary defenses and at least one orbital space station for trade.
Wialu went to talk with those more recalcitrant, using mindtricks to smooth their minds towards an alliance.
Lira went to speak with those more open minded, while Vette, well she made herself a sort of admiral, exhausting her group of twelve Findsmen to locate and engage more pirates and slavers all over the sector. And she found a group a three Jal Shey somewhere, who follow her around, for whatever reason. Something about a holy maiden and the quest for freedom.
And now Dora is returning, with a female force-sensitive on board.
"Pef, I know that girl. I taught her..." Wialu said a minute later.
"Isela, yes. She wanted to sell you out to the Sith, or maybe the Jedi..." I answered, most of my partitions focused on keeping a billion parts from our MC40 cruiser separated, while I reverse-engineered the whole ship at once.
Scanning each part, a millisecond for every single one. Why did I have to do this sequentially?
"You saw it? Oh my. It was her desire for an easy life wasn't it?" Wialu asked rhetorically. She could sense it in our bond, I wouldn't lie to her.
"Who knows, my dear Voice. Organics go crazy all the time. Just look at Vette" I answered amused.
Wialu turned for a second to look at me, then resumed her studies. Building holocrons. Not like anything you might imagine. Instead of engineering, think of baking cakes.
"The soul snares are not holocrons. The souls inside are sentient" she concluded, after a short deliberation.
"Holocrons need different things. They are AI's of a sort. They use the Physical Force and not the Cosmic Force. And the Sith used the Living Force instead. Different forces, different results, even if they look similar." I explained, guiding myself by my old memories.
"And yet there is a single Force. I think nobody is really a Master, after all" Wialu complained, waving the soul snare away with a force push. She's beginning to learn telekinesis, after yearning for it all her life.
"Of course not, not for all the teachings and abilities out there. We are a prism, and the Force passes through us, diffracting into a myriad of colors. And everyone of us is different and sees different colors. The White current may be the Unifying Force. Bending light should be a property of gravity after all" I mused, while the hyperdrive finished reassembling. 0.9 hyperdrive speed now, for our ships. How did Han Solo obtained 0.5 hyperdrives for that crappy ship of his? Damn plot armor.
"Emperor Pef, what about hyperspace and mass shadows? Where would they figure on the spectrum?" Luxum asked, looking ridiculous in maid robes. But a skirt would look even more ridiculous on a droid. Despite what robo-maids ideas I might have.
"Well, the mass shadows would also be in the Unifying Force. Or perhaps a new one, for Dark matter. I'm just a twelve millennia old droid, what do I know?" I answered, faking annoyance.
We remained silent afterwards, Luxum learning cyber warfare, Wialu still experimenting with holocrons, and myself learning 50 thousands years of technology, by taking it apart and reassembling it.
Sublight engines, hypermatter reactor, deflector shields. They used some kind of thermal buffers, prolonging the resistance under fire, and redundant capacitors, to allow faster recharge.
And yet an Ion cannon would still bring them down. Ionize. I could use this to craft an ability against droids.
Only droids would just listen to me, regardless. Only the Vong had a real change of putting up a fight, after all.
Dora landed after a while, bringing Isela with her. Wialu vanished, letting a faint wisp of sorrow be felt in her aura.
"Hey, you're the droid Emperor? Where is my gold?" Isela asked, expecting me to know what Dora promised her.
"Here, take this diamond for now, I want to learn how to vanish..." I answered instead, throwing the soul snare towards her.
The woman was very beautiful, and perhaps used to being treated like a princess everywhere.
She caught the crystal, and looked at it confused.
"Hey, this is not a diam...." then a long wail in the force, as her soul became trapped inside.
Luxum rose and went to poke at it.
"Is this how you become immortal? You transfer in a crystal?" she asked, quite smartly.
"Yes and no. The soul snare is a weapon, to be used against enemies and traitors. A failed experiment with the Cosmic force.
But now, is a one-time use holocron as well. Watch" I told my crystal maid, draining the knowledge from the snare.
All the religious precepts, the White current, the illusions, the invisibility, mind shield, mind fog, hiding in the light, seeing from light, acceleration. The last one was surprising. It forced the body to burn faster, healing immediately or moving fast, while damaging the body immensely. If you were organic.
Wialu reappeared next to me, and took the snare with care.
"She was like a daughter to me. Let me take her life. I want to know..." Wialu said softly, draining the last of Isela's soul, and making it vanish.
I just waited, and focused my telekinesis on reassembling the MC40a light cruiser, the missile launchers and the missiles being a hundred times easier. The cruiser now had 100 missile launchers and three thousands missiles.
The turrets were of, however, as I didn't like having them pointed at every side, like a hedgehog. Keep 20 percent of current positioning, and arrange the rest above and below the ship in superfiring positions, thus allowing 80 percent of all weapons to focus fire on a single target, both when firing forward or either sides.
In total, 20 pointdefense quad lasers, 100 medium masers and turbolasers and 20 heavy masers. Already, my cruiser would be able to take down a Venator star destroyer by itself. While being half the size and three times the firepower of a Venator. Damn those Venators were weak ships for a star destroyer, beeing mostly a carrier with some ship-to-ship ability.
And going by what I knew about the Centrality, they didn't even have star destroyers.
I still needed many more ships though. To conquer the Centrality would be pretty easy, but then I had to hold a thousand star systems, against everyone who might try to profit.
At least a thousand corvettes then, just to secure that volume. I barely had a hundred. Kriff.
Had to make lots of money fast and buy the damn ships from somewhere. And, I just knew how to find the money. Murder and theft, the privelege of kings and emperors.
"Luxum, I need you to steal 5 billion credits" I proclaimed, pointing at the shard-maid.
"Eh?" she wondered confused. If I had teeth I would have smiled. Damn organics have it so easy.
Planet Gand, Capital of Pef Empire
Throne Room, aboard the Celestial Throne, the seat of government.
25 BBY
"What I mean is, we're going to infiltrate the Centrality and steal credits from their pension funds. And just think, they use Republic credits, even if they do not issue the currency." I replied, preparing a Black ops freighter for launch.
"Wait, you're going too?" Dora asked, shaking her green twin leku in confusion.
"Of course. I have to supervise the first act of war. Can't just laze around, while my operatives risk their lives..." I explained, watching Luxum carefully. She was doubtful.
"Why are we attacking them? They aren't harming anyone..." Luxum wondered, hesitating for some moral reasons.
"We're preventing a genocide, several of them in fact. And also preventing the Sith taking over the Centrality and becoming our nemesis. Come, let's get you fitted with Supremacy power armor, Luxum, you'll learn more while we're in transit." I added, and began assembling my next generation power armor series, around the Justice droid that housed my sentient crystal Maid.
I made sure to leave a number of slits in the chest carapace, then armored those openings with a triple layer of ancient Jedi armor. The Iron Knights used transparisteel windows in their chests, to let their crystal senses function unimpeded by the droid chassis, but that was too much of a weakness and giveaway.
Ten minutes later, the Iron Maid was complete and looked absolutely fabulous. 2.5 meters in height, powerful servomotors for superstrength, repulsor beams for lift and glide, deflector shields, latest model of miniaturized starfighter reactor. Once Luxum learned to use the Force properly to reinforce the armor, it will be able to withstand nukes at pointblank range.
For color, I went with urban grey camouflage, shades of grey with subtle changes in degree and patterns, to make to user less visible in a city landscape. It had a infiltration spec after all, with a powerful holo-transceiver, able to slice through most networks.
Just buying the technology had cost me 50 million credits. Now it was time to put it to good use, and return my investment a hundred fold.
My own power armor was painted a dull grey, with black shoulders and a golden ring around the temples. A Kyber crystal was mounted on the side of my chest, to let my subjects know the user had a Voice as well.
'5 billion credits is way too little for you to go on trips. You're planning something else' Wialu sent telepathically.
'Of course. But I also have to test my new maid. You should return to Sanctuary as well, my Hands have the Empire running well enough for now' I sent back.
'Have fun then. And bring me a Sith. I really want to learn all they know' Wialu added, vanishing from my senses completely.
Damn the woman was good. Even with learning most of the Fallanassi teaching from her traitor student, Wialu was still above my level in camouflage. No wonder Palpatine couldn't find her, even after she was betrayed.
Luxum was experimenting with her new upgrades, floating around and playing with her shields.
"Lira and Dora, start placing orders for any ship you can find, to be paid on delivery. Buy a dozen Lucrehulk-class LH-3210 cargo freighter if you find any. I'll be back in a month. Celine, you have one month to decide: Servant, Voice or freedom and exile. Maybe you can be a singer on Nar Shaddaa." I told my other Maids, then started walking towards my ship. Celine nodded, feeling scared, and hiding behind her long blond hair. I doubted she will choose the Voice though.
Luxum joined me as I passed the doors, feeling anxious for some reason. She was competent enough now, but her resolve lacked. Oh well, that's why I came along.
Now, planning and executing the greatest heist in the history of the galaxy will be fun.
On board Greymist, Pef Empire's Black ops vessel.
In hyperspace, en route to Oseon, the Centrality's richest planet.
"Emperor, stealing from the pension funds might trigger social outrage and revolts. Is this what we're trying to accomplish?" Luxum asked, going over the files on security of the Centrality again.
"Not yet. The theft will be noticed, and they'll have to move the funds somewhere safe. A Republic bank, or possibly the Banking Guild. And thus, lose control over their finances. Half of their navy will turn pirate, for lack of salaries" I explained, while trying to use acceleration on myself. I had no organic flesh to degrade, so everything will be...in my mind.
Time started to slow down, as my perception began to accelerate, faster and faster. Double accel, triple accel...I wondered how much I could overclock myself. Five times and I started to overheat. Transfer heat outside the hull. Seven times. The exterior of my crystal self began warming up.
Let's stop for now. I could possibly reach 10 times more, but wasn't needed. Four times faster. No overheat, the Force supporting the extra speed just fine. It should be enough.
I glided through the lightsaber velocities, stressing my droid chassis to the limit. Hmmm. About the same speed as Yoda and Palpatine in their duel. A bit less than Windu going full Vaapad.
But I'll never get tired or exhausted. Damn this body was a such a cheat.
"Emperor, you move so fast, faster than Master Aqinos. Faster than anyone I heard of..." Luxum exclaimed, now her aura trembling with awe.
"About the same as the best Jedi or Sith living today. Master Windu might be a tad faster with a lightsaber" I answered, coming to a rest and running the meditation techniques, using the armor's servomotors to emulate breathing. Hmmm. It did seem to work, increasing my connection to the Force by a few percents.
"But you don't use sabers. You think them puerile" Luxum added, now observing me with a strange focus.
"Once you get strong enough, lightsaber become crutches, and start hindering your abilities. And they make you channel on a fixed path, ending with a saber duel. Ignoring better solutions, or strategic thinking or subtlety. Let's say I drop a bioweapon on the Jedi Temple. How many Jedi would survive ten minutes or even one minute?" I asked, letting the female shard meditate on an answer.
I rehearsed my plan again, then started building variants and backup plans.
"Most Masters would survive one minute. But, just a few the next ten minutes. You could end the Jedi anytime. You have used 50 nano-phages already, when you terraformed planet Gand. And not a single Gand was harmed..." Luxum concluded her reasoning after an hour or so.
"The Jedi and the Sith would continue to fight, genociding each other, for a hundred millennia or more, devastating the galaxy with their insane fanaticism, just like have done for the past 30 millennia. It has to stop. What do you think Luxum?" I asked rhetorically.
She remained silent, possibly thinking about her own race.
"It's going to happen again, right? The Sith are coming back, and they're going to exterminate the Jedi, and everyone who allies with them. Including my fellow shards. A galaxy wide war, and soon. Why doesn't anyone else see this?" my maid asked, her aura mingling fear and calm at equal ratio.
"Chancellor Palpatine leads the Galactic Republic, and he's a Sith. His office is next door from the Jedi Council. That's a cosmic joke right there. And the Jedi's chosen one, the one who will bring balance in the force, he's groomed to become the next Sith.
How do they think balance will be restored? Damn fools." I muttered, spilling secrets like candy.
Sentient crystals didn't have glands to secrete hormones and neurotransmitters, but they could fake them pretty well, with electrical impulses.
My Iron Maid stayed silent after this, digesting the news.
A few hours later, we reached Oseon and began our missions.
Oseon system, the Centrality, Outer Rim
Running silent at the edge of the system
Luxum sliced into the Centrality's servers and began funneling funds to fake corporations, which dissolved immediately, after transferring the credits to another fake corporation and so on.
And while she was doing the shell game with the Centrality pensions, I went after the richest man in the galaxy.
Bohhuah Mutdah had a wealth aproximating 400 trillions credits, and had just moved to asteroid Oseon 5792, where his obese shape would hurt less due to low gravity. He did have a state of the art security system around his palace, but he was illiterate, so he had to speak his passwords aloud.
I just had to wait an hour for him to buy something, emulate his voice and holosignature, then start buying everything on the markets and selling it a million times cheaper to a fake corporation.
In 30 minutes I drained most of his liquid assets, about 14 trillions credits, then started selling his real estate holdings, corporate stocks, ships and factories, again to fake corporations that just began existing seconds ago. I took everything from him, leaving him penyless.
In 3 hours, I became myself the richest person in the galaxy, though not quite legal.
Then I used my own name to start a few companies and bought all I have stolen from Mutdah, in my own name.
And last thing, I alerted my security in my own palace on asteroid Oseon 5792 of an unauthorized obese intruder and had him shot in the head.
Now, my new wealth was legal.
I started firing all the lawyers and corporate and security personnel, leaving just the majority of the grunts in my employ.
My workers still needed job to feed their families, but I wouldn't trust the cronies that Mutdah had. I began hiring new office workers, while my security droids kicked out the former employees and shot those resisting. Somehow, everyone of the corporate boards resisted being fired from their job. And thus were fired upon.
A few shuttles with freshly bought droids descended on my palace and started upgrading and replacing the old security, wiping the records and evaporating the corpses.
"Emperor, I finished. I just stole 5 billion credits. What do I do now?" Luxum asked, brimming with excitement.
"Be nice to your sister maids and share the money with them. A billion for each of you should be a nice gift, I think..." I mused out loud.
"B-but.. don't you need the credits to buy ships? This was just to test me?" Luxum wondered, now a little more than confused.
"Oh, I stole 400 trillions while you had fun. You can buy yourself something nice, an asteroid somewhere or a star destroyer" I answered amused. The poor dude was going to be killed and impersonated by a Croke anyway. I just did the galaxy a huge favor.
"Oh, I'm a billionaire now. I'm gonna buy soooo many things. I bet Vette will want that star destroyer though. She likes guns. Big guns..." Luxum muttered, trawling the auctions for life crystals and whatever else she fancied.
The heist complete, I began looking for my next target.
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At the feast of the Gluttonous House’s auction, there was a little girl with an exceptional furnace constitution for offer at a sky-high price. Everyone wanted to lay their hands on her. Suddenly, the little girl in the golden cage opened her eyes, radiating a cold gaze. She was no longer cowardly. She was the gold medal assassin of the 21st century, transmigrating to become the good-for-nothing humiliation that everyone bullied, third miss Nalan Hexi of the genius doctor’s manor. Meridians completely crippled, no innate skill to cultivate? What is she afraid of? She is the exceptional miracle doctor, and these injuries were nothing in her eyes. Father doesn’t dote on her, mother doesn’t love her, everyone schemes against her? Humph, an alternate dimension in hand and an invincible spirit pet as well, she can destroy the small Nalan Manor with a flip of her hand! Ugly complexion, malnourished and sickly in appearance, no one wants her? She recovered her unparalleled looks with the blink of an eye and gained a dozen good looking men as bodyguards! That overbearing man who’d been sticking to her since the auction. Who said I was destined to be yours? I am my own, no one can decide my future! A certain man: Then I am yours, will that do?
8 1421Soul Augmentation
What happens when you have no potential. What happens when everyone has such high expectations, only to be disappointed. What happens when you are so weak that even your soul takes the form of a slime. You will get cast out, spit on, hated, laughed at and pitied. I can't take the contempt and pity anymore. I'm done with those disdainful stares and hateful whispers behind my back. Even if I need to twist my body and break my mind, I will go forward. Even if I have to corrupt my very existence, I will do it. I will gain power and will not stop until I’m on the top. This is my first novel. I intend to complete it. English is not my native language, I will always be grateful if you point out any mistakes I made. Comments and feedback are always welcome as long as they are constructive. Also have some mercy with the ratings, this is my first novel so I’m still in the process of improving my style. I hope you enjoy! Edit: also if the picture does not conform with copyrights I will immediatly take it down when asked.
8 118Fourth Vector
Commander Jack Easterbrook takes on a mission to explore a savage area of the world called the Fourth Vector. Along the way, he finds action, friends, enemies, and love, as well as the knowledge that he's at the center of an ancient prophecy that's supposed to prevent the world from falling into total darkness. Currently on hiatus. The story wasn't taking off here on Royal Road, which is my fault for not providing you with a more compelling read. If you want to see the rest of Vector, please join me on my Patreon or search for it on Amazon to get the ebooks. I will be back with more stories!
8 147King: The Silver King's Echo
Credits to Hanstrondheim for the cover art and Muddy and Danetello for the Synopsis! Synopsis: What is a King?A King is more than just a generation or a class. They are known as Kings due to the mysterious powers they wield. Their power allows them to destroy armies alone, guide their people to greatness, split mountains with their bare hands, and even kill the strongest monsters.Yet even after all these years, the origin of their powers remains unknown.A once ugly and sickly kid is transported into this world. He’s granted powers beyond his own control. He must quickly grow strong, lest he risks destroying himself as well as the world around him.His ultimate goal? To "live as long as he can". This desire, although simple, will herald his rise as the "Silver King" the world once feared.
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Ludwig Lock wakes up in a hospital bed to find a weeping woman at his side. After some crying, more weaping and confusion, Ludwig discovers that that lady was his ten year old sister, and that he's been in a coma for fifteen years. He also learns that the world he had grown to know was no more since heroes, villains, and super powers inhabit the streets, being regarded as a lot of things withing an endless spectrum. Just when he was about to finally get started with his new life, Ludwig faced a streak of bad luck, the last event of this chain setting him up to die so a vigilante can save himself. After suffering the worst beating of his life and experimenting the incompetence of the law, Ludwig decides to use his own hands to achieve justice. He will face difficult challenges, traumatic situations, and probably horrible stuff to get his life rolling. But at least he's got a friend to help him. Not a normal one though. ---- IMPORTANT: I personally identify powers as a fantastical element, which is why I don't find weird the addition of other elements of the same vein if it stays within the logic of the world. New and old chapters get updated with relative frequency, (new chapter every week, though it may be delayed a day or more to problems or some other reason) and the story is in a draft-like state, meaning it will probably stay the same but there will be changes on the prose or writing. Also, I would apreciate if it is known to me (Respectfully) which points should I improve on.
8 113