Earth, Milky Way galaxy

Today

It was a dark and gloomy night, with flashes of lightning interfering slightly by bringing some light into an otherwise scary darkness...

Yeah, no. It was a normal morning, and I was sipping my coffee, while watching a rather competent youtuber debate the merits of a certain class of star destroyer versus another. Was a Bellator-class dreadnought better than a Mandator? Sure, it was smaller, but the tech was more advanced... But which one was better?

'Would you like to know more?' an amused voice asked, as my monitor expanded and engulfed me into a rather realistic 3D simulation.

The Ships looked menacing and ominous now, painted in a grey shade of militaristic might. Wouldn't black paint be more suited for deep space engagements?

Hmmm. Did my brother misplaced some more LSD into my coffee? Last time he tried something like this, I had been chasing a virtual steam train for hours...pretty train, although not really realistic...

'Ah, it's the ADD again. And you missed my reference... / pout.'

Did the LSD schizophrenia induced voice, reference mental disorders? Then again starship troopers was another favorite of mine. Since it featured starships and troopers. Pretty cool combination, if not really well written, or had any real strategy value...but cool!

'That's it! Focus Pef, or I will enlighten you, with lightning...' the voice threatened me.

Oh, a threat! Or maybe a treat? Enlightenment by lightning, just like the Flash or maybe an ascension thing like in wuxia? Wouldn't it be nice though?

BZZZTTTTTTTT. Bzzttttt. A flash of lightning sprang out of nowhere, hitting me in the legs and producing an X-ray effect, my bones visible through clothes and flesh. And it hurt. Quite a lot.

I try to focus my eyes, and the voice now belongs to a face. George Lucas. I may be wasted, worse than I first thought.

"Ouch. Owwww. Stop it!" I yelled as the violet lightning shocked me to coherence and pain. This was strange...did I fell asleep and was now lying unconscious in a pool of coffee, while my lamp was electrocuting me? LSD did seem to have quite some effects...right?

'Ever heard of Random Omnipotent Bats?' the fake George Lucas asks with a kind voice.

"..." I think, while trying to collect my brains into the dustpan.

'Now pay attention. I have need for a champion and I chose you. Now, I don't want to wait for a new body to grow and learn the basics of Corsca Galaxy, so you get to pick a species and force ability you will start with. You have an hour to pick wise...'

"Can I have technopathy? Technopathy is pretty much the best Force power! Some telekinesis would be great too..." I interrupted the annoying ROB.

Ever seen George Lucas get mad? I did.

'...Technopathy. A bit of telekinesis... Sure! ROB replied, voice a bit hesitant and maybe even confused. But also mocking and sarcastic.

"Thanks ROB. You're the best!" I exclaimed happily, as the fake simulation around me collapsed into a single point and my mind was propelled at improbable speed through a hyperspace vortex. Hmmm, I must have missed something, why was the nice ROB mocking me? Anyways, pretty stars!

Galaxies and stars, quasars and black holes sped around me, as I left my future behind. Or was it my past now? No matter! Look at those nebulae, so beautiful!

Time travel, and immeasurable distances, traversed my consciousness to a galaxy far, far away and a long time ago. Omnipotent beings were such bullshit...

******

In a galaxy far, far away and long time ago

Traveling backwards in time takes time, confusing as it may seem. You need to be a Doctor to understand it, so I won't bother.

I think it took hours, at least. I was pretty bored, by the time I reached my new body.

However...

I was now a foot long Force crystal, glowing green and, buried under the ruins of Rur's space fortress, which itself was buried deep into the rocky world of Garn.

So yeah, no more fun times for Pef. Unless rocks can have sex here in Star Wars, which wouldn't quite surprise me. They do make the improbable possible, every day.

Still, I had Force senses now, and I reached out with them, searching for signs of life or technology. Either would do. No luck.

The planet was barren, the inhabitants long gone.

A toxic yellow fog was rolling over dead trees, and a killer bioweapon fungus was creeping everywhere, making sure that any living thing that landed on this planet will soon be dead.

Exploring more and more, stretching my new senses, I soon found some crystals, named soul snares containing Force spirits and some old Jedi armors. With old skeletons inside. I thought the Jedi cremated their dead, this was strange.

Seems a war was fought here, destroying the planetary biome and the former inhabitants, along with their attackers. The crystal soul snares likely contained the spirits of the Jedi captured during the war. Or Sith.

Some scraps of old droids were lying closer, some cut to pieces, others just deactivated.

Good enough. A safe place to learn my new Force powers and build the start of an army. Why would I want an army though? I never wanted one before. Really strange.

Bits and pieces of memories, probably from the former occupant of this crystal body, drifted through my mind, precepts of the Ordu Aspectu, and their quest for eternal life.

Their genocide at the hands of the Jedi Order. Lightsabers not hands, actually. Elegant weapons and such.

So sad, to have succeeded in their quest for immortality and be too dead to enjoy it. Or maybe not.

Some of them may have ascended, and became one with the Force. Maybe. Not likely.

Either way, the Ordu Aspectu were no longer around. Not on the material plane.

And I was free to do as I liked, as long as I remained undetected by the Jedi.

Though, they will be gone soon as well, if they weren't all 66-ed already.

I saw the movies.

Planet Garn, Cadma sector, Outer Rim

Year 25 BBY

Having no limbs is a pain. Then again, telekinesis and multitasking sort of compensate. For something.

I wish I could get angry at the sick entity who left me limbless and buried on some forgotten planet. Sadly, without an organic brain, I don't have real emotions. Stupid Jedi. There's no Emotion, there's only peace. See how simple it was? Gah!

I have begun reactivating some of the more intact droids, and connected them to my own network. Did I mention, I was an AI now?

Not exactly though, as I was not mechanical and had senses beyond anything a computer could have. Still, there were partitions and various commands to implement, making running my body easier.

My first task was to use a few of my guard droids to drag the remains of a dozen other droids and begin piecing myself a host for the crystal self.

A few other guard droids were digging their way up, and clearing the debris. Luckily the technology of this galaxy was extremely robust, years of neglect and disrepair not significantly impeding my progress into re initializing the dozen droids around.

However, I will have to look into obtaining a power source for them. And perhaps later, a spaceship.

First thing, installing my crystal into the torso of a droid, then attaching intact limbs from the other droids around.

To my shame, it took days to finalize my new body, since different droids required OS recombination and a bit of mechatronic art and creativity to fit together.

Small steps Pef. You have an invulnerable and ageless body now. Acquiring mobility and a veneer of social presence was useful, but not really necessary. I wasn't gonna emulate Grievous, any time soon.

I then began covering the droid chassis in a metal Jedi armor, which was quite impressive to look at, minus the horns. I'll have to get rid of those, sooner than later.

Soon after, my honor guard also started wearing the Jedi armors, and I began training them, rehearsing social protocols, then combat algorithms.

A month later, I looked over my domain, and despaired silently.

A dozen ancient droids, wearing ancient Jedi armors and pretending to be bounty hunters. And failing badly.

Hmmm. I had these soul snares lying around. Maybe they could be put to some use.

I delved into the Force trying to establish contact with one of the spirits, but whoever was inside was quite mad, possibly from solitude and sensory deprivation. I tried another and another, till I found a slightly saner one.

"Hey, is there anyone in there?" I asked through a thin tendril of Force bond.

"You monster, you aren't dead!" an angry voice yelled at me.

"Who do you think I am?" I wondered curious. We never met before, I was quite certain.

"You are Rur, the leader of Ordu Aspectu! The one who killed me and trapped me here."

Hmmm. My name may be short and sweet, but it wasn't Rur.

"Nope. Name is Pef. A mostly scraped droid, with a crystal core." I replied instead, lifting the crystal snare up and rotating it, to let it observe its surroundings.

"But, I can feel the resonance, it's the same as Rur had. Is this a strange joke?" the Jedi spirit answered confused, as it did it with a question.

"A sense of humor the universe has. But if we are the joke, we have yet to see." I said wisely. Pretty sure it was wise.

"Just a few droids, and no life on the entire planet. We are still trapped..." the spirit complained, its ghostly head floating inside the snare and looking around dejected.

I handed the crystal to one of my mechanical guards, then started walking towards the tunnel leading to the surface. And then to my next destination.

My scan range was quite large, since there were little disturbances on this dead planet. Sources of electricity?

A Cathedral ship, about 500 km west, crashed here during the last days of Pius Dea Crusades. Excellent!

It probably won't be salvageable, but perhaps it had a subspace or holo transmitter that could be repaired.

And thus, I began the first step on the long march to building my empire. With a single step.

Planet Garn, Cadma sector, Outer Rim

Year 25 BBY

A thousand steps westward.

First casualty of the long march. Droid guard 485/ty/gr also known as Mook #11 crashed, due to internal battery depletion.

"Ahhhh, cruel fate, to be or not to be, the mystery of quantum physics!" I proclaimed, holding the soul snare in my left droid hand, and looking at the defeated hero at my feet.

'I've been rescued by a madman. Errr, insane droid.' the Jedi in the crystal complained, possibly correctly. Or maybe not.

"Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!" I continued my lament, kicking the useless depleted droid, just for kicks.

Then I selected a single guard droid to escort me forward, leaving the decimal droids in a fallback position around our fallen. They were ten droids, so decimal. Clever, right?

"We leave no one behind. And if we do, it's for a good reason!" I explained, continuing the march towards freedom.

The spirit remained silent, possibly wisely. I was tempted to leave it behind as well, but lacking a skull to keep me company, a nearly dead, and almost insane Jedi padawan will do.

I pushed forward, ignoring the lethal fog and the lethal fungus decorating the surface of the planet. Choosing a crystalline lifeform was proving to be quite an inspired choice, in hindsight. A body made of flesh would have died horribly the first minute its skin came in contact with this fungus. Some sort of bioweapon, from the anti-hutts crusades, most likely.

Not that bioweapons were actually effective against adult Hutts. Their species were tinkering with bioweapons since the Celestials were still around. But perhaps the crusaders wanted to exterminate a few young Hutts, caught outside their marsupial pouches.

More steps. And more steps.

If I was organic, I would have died of disease, asphyxiation, thirst, hunger and probably a few other things by now. It must be some Force ability that sustains me, and keeps my identity intact. Or an amused god, in need of champion. Same thing in my mind.

Still, a hundred hours later, marching continuously like a Force fueled Droid that I was, I reached the Cathedral warship.

"The God Emperor of Mankind would have been proud of this vessel." I mused out loud, examining the remains from the outside.

Paintings and sculptures, friezes and bas-reliefs, religious icons and 'Humanity first' mottoes. All used generously, along with gold and gemstones and depleted fissionable.

Hmmm. Maybe the fissionable weren't depleted, at the time they were last used? Craters made by X-ray pumped lasers, scorch marks of cesium enriched nuclear warheads. Gallant weapons from more civilized times. Too bad they were long forgotten.

Now people fought with swords. The sacrilege!

Now, where would they have placed the vox unit...I mean, the subspace transmitter?

I sent my dear friend forward, and as expected, the ship's security protocols revived after 12 thousand years of perfect inactivity, and blasted my droid guard to small bits, ignoring its fashionable Jedi armor, like tinfoil in a microwave.

"Just a walk in the park." I said in response to the cosmic joke.

'Maser beams, probably from the 34th Crusade.' the spirit inside the soul snare explained, earning a commendation for the Old Jedi teachings. He would be a Master or even more, compared to the modern Jedi.

I spread my senses, noticing a few solar powered cells, and their energized circuits. Then gently infiltrated my technopathic tendrils, and took over the remaining processors and databanks, sifting through millennia of astronavigation data.

Huh. I found out where I am. Planet Garn, in Cadma sector. Somewhat North of current Hutt space. Kinda suspected it, but now I was sure.

Estimated galaxy time, +- 3 years of 22 BBY or the start of the Clone wars, judging by galactic drift and old positional quasars.

'Damn, I hope I'm not too late. I wanted to take part in those wars.'

My AI systems and the Cathedral ship finally meshed, and I found a working transmitter. Only subspace though, seems holonet appeared thousands of years after.

Now, let's see planets in range, thousands but no one receiving, here is one receiver...Gand, home the Gand species. Didn't they have these Finders?

'I could use the Gand....yes.'

Now, what to send, and encourage a few to jump on a ship and come get me? What does everyone want? Riches and long life...should work.

"Stranded explorer, found ancient ship with ancient relics and life prolonging medicine. Please send rescue on planet Garn, look for big golden ship. Bring landing craft and salvage equipment" I sent, and noticed a faint pulse in the Force.

Someone heard my call then. Great.

Now, I had to prepare my welcome....