Mature Content Warning: A little foul language and booty slapping.

Author's Note: Here you go. Just a fun little chapter before the last few chapters come through.

Chapter 9: Seriously, What the Hell?

Screams, shouts, the sounds of bitter conflict are like a serenade. When two worlds collide none may survive, and yet people will continue to strive to become the best even if nothing is left but rubble. Such a hard battle was being fought within the heart of Meaden’s top jewelry store, a Regal Alice Franchise.

“Sir, we cannot pay more than that for goblin souls.” explained a woman with bright green hair. She was a local manager hired to run the franchise by the franchise owner.

Scott frowned at the manager then shook his head. “I just saw how much you charge for these things. How can you try to buy them from me for five percent of the retail value and call it a fair deal?”

“Our sales prices and purchasing prices are not the same. Goblin souls are not difficult to acquire if you have the proper skill specializations or just defeat a lot of goblins. We don’t need to purchase them for more than the offered amount.” replied the woman, anger lacing her words.

He snorted at her. “Fine, I’ll sell them elsewhere. Your trade license ends at the gate. I’ll set up shop up the road a little and sell them at one-fourth the price that you are selling them for, hell I’ll do that with every lore ring I find.”

“You can’t do that! The trade agreements between merchant guilds clearly state that no one...!” The woman began to rail at Scott in a most undignified and unprofessional manner. How she had managed to keep her position for so long was anyone’s guess.

“Why do I care about that? I’m not a merchant. You can’t control trade outside of towns to any great extent, and the only thing the guild really has a strangle hold on are professional grade lore skills and healing tonics. Everything else is unlikely to stir up trouble, at least not till I am done severely undercutting your store.” Scott had asked Rhea a lot of questions regarding how retail worked in this world. She had known about the health potion sales limitations, so he had decided to become as knowledgeable as possible regarding such things.

The manager glared hatefully at Scott. She was about to retort angrily, but another customer entered the store. Her personality changed completely upon the arrival of a potential paying customer. She ignored Scott and moved to greet the newcomer.

Scott decided to end the pointless negotiation since the manager did not seem to understand professional courtesy or the fact that selling something for twenty times the amount that it cost to purchase it is an insult to the people who actually acquired the item for you. Making a profit was one thing, but why would anyone even bother to sell to your store.

On the way out of the store a screen popped up.

Thank you for visiting the Meaden branch of Regal Alice! You are listed as a VIP by the Master Franchise owner. Would you like to take a survey to inform her of the service that you received at this branch? Yes | No

“I’m a VIP?” Scott smirked at the survey. Why yes, yes he would like to take a survey.

He accepted the offer and answered all of the questions negatively. How bad was the service? The service was one star out of five, easily. The prices were terrible. The management did not know how to talk to potential customers. When prompted to write a few parting thoughts he went into detail about his beliefs on proper retail courtesy.

By the time Scott finished with the survey and hit the submit button he manager had finished speaking with the new customer. A screen appeared before her. She blinked and then stared at it for a moment.

“This... a negative survey review? How can that be? I know all of the VIPs that come here regularly.”

Scott heard her and shook his head. He had not been aware of that VIP status before. Since he had it as a tool to work with at the moment, he could not resist bashing her over the head with it. “Not all of them. Next time I visit with Regal Alice, I’ll be sure to remind her of just how much I enjoyed your customer service.”

The manager’s eyes went wide at the realization of what she had done. He had been dressed so poorly that she had not considered it to be a problem. “Sir, I...”

“Save your sirs for someone who cares. You treated me like most people would treat a wet dog rolling around on a fancy couch. Good luck with your employment review whenever that comes around.”

The manager stood there with her mouth gaped open. What had she done?

Scott left the store and headed toward his room at the inn. His armor would not be repaired for another two days. The damage had been quite extensive and he suspected that the local armorer was not as good as the one at Victory Station.

“Not a bad haul, though.” He had made a bit over thirty-six thousand Fayth from the crappy loot that the goblins and other monsters had dropped during the battle, plus half of the loot from the three day hunting binge with Rhea. When everything had been settled, he’d earned over one hundred thirty thousand Fayth in the last four days.

He could have had another fifteen thousand Fayth if he had sold the goblin souls, but selling them for that price when they were sold in the shop for twenty thousand each would be an insult to his sensibilities. He could have understood twenty to thirty percent due to the profit margins and time it would take to sell the items. Five percent was just abusive.

“Wait, wait!” called a voice from behind him. The manager from the store was running toward him as fast as her stiletto heels could take her.

“What is it?” asked Scott irately. As far as he was concerned, he was done with her.

The manager tripped and nearly fell to the ground, but she was close enough that Scott was able to reach out and catch her. She looked at him thankfully. “I...”

“Yeah? Like I said, what is it?”

She righted herself then said, “I did not know you were a VIP, sir. We have a different pricing scale for people of your quality.”

Scott snorted at her. She did not think much of his quality earlier. He truly disliked people who acted like this.

She winced at his dismissive attitude, but persevered. “I’m prepared to offer you twenty-five percent of the retail value for your items, sir.”

“I want forty.” replied Scott. He knew damned well that she would balk at that price. Still, he did not want to make this easy for her.

“Sir, I... Forty is impossible. I’m not authorized to offer that much to anyone.”

“Are you sure about that? The next time I see Regal Alice, I’ll ask about her pricing policies.”

The manager grew pale, and started to shake a little. It was a strange reaction to be honest. Scott had never seen a manager so worried about what the store owner would think.

“T-the maximum I am allowed to offer to anyone is thirty-percent.”

“Give it to me then.” said Scott. He did not need more than one of the rings, but he did need more than five percent of their value.

“G-great! Just hold on one moment while I prepare funds for the sale.” She pulled up a menu screen and started fiddling with numbers.

You have received an offer of 90000 Fayth for (15) goblin soul lore rings.

Do you accept? Yes | No

Scott wasted no time and accepted that offer immediately. It was a much better deal overall. The idea that she had wanted to pay him fifteen thousand for those rings before still bothered him, however. The store would sell them for three hundred thousand altogether.

Ninety thousand Fayth became his, and several unnecessary rings became the property of Regal Alice’s local franchise. Scott was absurdly pleased with the sale, though he refused to show it in front of the manager.

“Thank you for your business, sir.” said the woman. Her tone was civil, but Scott still sensed hostility. He wondered for a moment if she worked off of commission. Did she get a cut of the profits? Otherwise, she would be another type of person he disliked. She would be the sort of sales clerk or office worker who acted like the company’s money was their money to a degree far beyond what was necessary. Like an overly aggressive bill collector who took it personally when you owed the company money.

A new window appeared in front of him. He snorted loudly at the blatant nature of the request that he had received.

Geri Heinzel, manager of the Meaden branch of Regal Alice, has sent you a request to verify that you are satisfied with the transaction.

Has the transaction been completed to your satisfaction? Yes | No

Do you have any comments to share regarding this transaction? Yes | No

Scott looked at the message and then back at the green haired woman. Geri was obviously hoping that he would be satisfied so that it can lessen the damage that his survey would do to her career options.

He thought about it for a moment, then clicked ‘yes’ to both questions. He was asked if he would like to type his response or speak it aloud. He chose to type it out. A new message screen popped up with an alpha-numeric keypad next to it.

There was an issue that occurred during my negotiations with the manager at the Meaden Branch of Regal Alice. A misunderstanding occurred. The manager went above and beyond her duty to satisfy my needs. Due to the previous issue, she promised me a permanent 30% sales rate when I sell my items at the Meaden branch of the store.

How generous!

Scott hit submit and the comment was accepted. It was not long before the manager received confirmation of the contract’s acceptance.

Geri also received a new message stating that a VIP customer had left a comment on one of her contracts. She read the message then blinked. Her left eye lid began to twitch spastically. “P-permanent thirty-percent...”

“Yep, permanent thirty-percent. So, generous.” replied Scott. She could either accept it as true or try to claim that he had lied. Either way she would have to explain the situation, and that might not work out well for her.

Geri began to cry a little. She imagined her beautiful profits soaring away.

Scott, on the other hand, did not care. He turned to leave. Doing so turned out to be quite the event, however. He bumped into someone that he had not noticed was even there.

“Ouch! Hey...” cried out a feminine voice.

“What? Who?” asked Scott intelligently. Where did this girl come from? She was far too close!

“Oh no, look what you did! My ice cream...” said the girl. She was wearing a low cut dress, and somehow an ice cream cone had firmly planted itself within her cleavage.

Scott blinked at her then looked down at the odd sight. He still did not really know what was going on. Was she saying that he had bumped into her and did that? He had only turned around, how could he have done that? More to the point, wasn’t it a little cold to be wearing so little clothing while eating ice cream?

“Look what I did? I didn’t do anything.” said Scott.

The red haired girl frowned at him then gestured toward her chest once more. “See, this is what you did!”

“How did I do that? I would have had to have been right on top of you and I’ve been standing in one place for a while now.” Scott spoke in slow, measured, tones. He wanted to make sure she understood that he took no responsibility for something like that. She would have had to have been right next to him.

“That’s how it is? You ruin my ice cream and molest my breasts, but won’t take responsibility?” asked the girl with an edge in her tone. Strangely, she had not bothered to remove the ice cream from her cleavage, yet. Wasn’t that cold?

“Take responsibility? For what, you standing too close to me?” Scott had no idea what had gotten her so riled up. If anything she had obviously run into him.

She placed her hands on her hips and pouted. “What kind of man are you? You did this and refuse to take any responsibility?”

“I’m the kind of man who has no responsibility to take... and isn’t that cold?” said Scott.

“No responsibility! I was innocently walking along when you turned quickly and molested me with my ice cream cone! I should let the world know.”

“Molested you? What the hell are you talk-" began Scott.

“Help! I’m being molested by an ice cream pervert!” shouted the girl.

People started to gather, many wondering what was going on. Scott glared hatefully at the red haired creature. Was she stupid, or was she plotting something? “What are you doing...?”

“Replace the ice cream that you made me lose; and I’ll let it go.” she said in a sugary sweet tone.

“Whatever, just stop shouting. How much was it?” How much could ice cream cost?

“Oh no, you have to buy it for me. Come on, let’s go.” She reached over and grabbed his arm. Scott tried to pull away out of reflex but she took a deep breath, like she was going to shout again.

“Fine... let’s just get this over with.” What the hell was wrong with this girl?

She turned to the crowd. “It’s ok, only a misunderstanding. He’s just clumsy.”

Various people in the small crowd began to mutter about people shouting. A few other people murmured about wanting ice cream while eyeing a certain artfully displayed ice cream cone. Either way, the situation was resolved.

“Anyway, since you’re treating me to ice cream we should exchange names.” said the girl. Her attitude was absurdly cheerful if you considered how she had been acting previously.

“Can’t I just buy you ice cream and never talk to you again?” asked Scott.

“Rude, and no. My name’s Sharde. What’s your name?” she asked.

“Scott.” he said simply. He saw no reason to drag this out. The sooner they were done, the better.

Sharde plucked the cone from between her breasts then pouted at it. “What a waste. Do you want it?”

She showed it to Scott and he snorted at her. “I don’t know where those things have been.”

“Cheeky.” She laughed at his casual insult for a moment then tossed the cone aside.

He shook his head at her then started walking. “Let’s get that ice cream so you can go do whatever it is that you do with yourself.”

“Ooh, so eager.” She quickly reached his side and they walked silently toward the general store down the road. It was the closest place to buy ice cream in town.

Getting ice cream turned out to take longer than Scott would have anticipated. Upon arrival, he discovered that they were sold out of the particular flavor that she wanted. Unfortunately, that also meant that she would not be satisfied.

Scott did not really give a damn about her lack of satisfaction, but she threated to start shouting and spreading false allegations if he did not help her track down the flavor that she wanted. As it turned out, there were four stores that sold ice cream in town, and they were all out of vanilla.

“How the hell do you run out of vanilla ice cream?” asked Scott. It was like one of the two most common flavors of ice cream in existence!

“We had several buff looking guys come in and buy it all. They must really like vanilla. There were a few dozen tubs of the stuff.” said the shop keeper.

Sharde pouted at Scott cutely. “Aw, looks like you won’t be able to make good on reparations...”

“Yeah, this is not suspicious at all.” remarked the sorcerer. Several buff looking guys had bought up ice cream at one other store, too. He had asked the store owner at the last place. He would not be surprised if those guys had bought all of the vanilla ice cream in town.

“You’ll have to pick something else.” said Scott.

“No, absolutely not. It must be vanilla.” said Sharde.

“Pick something else.” said Scott.

She strode over and stood directly in front of him. She leaned forward and looked up at him. “No.”

“Yes, get chocolate or something.”

She leaned forward more. “Nope, must be vanilla.”

Sharde leaned forward and tilted her head back. Her lips parted gently and she closed her eyes. Scott leaned back and stared at her. What was she doing?

She started to pucker her lips a little, but no kiss was forth coming. Slowly she opened one eye and looked at him. “Something wrong?”

“What... exactly are you doing?” he asked her.

“Oh, we weren’t doing the arguing till we kiss thing?” she asked curiously.

“Uh... No.”

Sharde pouted at him. “Well, that sucks. I’ve never kissed anyone but my sister.”

“You... kiss your sister?”

“Yeah, on the cheek and stuff. I’ve never kissed a boy before.”

“Is that so...” said Scott. While that was fascinating and all, he did not know why she was telling him that.

“Yes. It’s sad, isn’t it? I have this sexy body, and sweet disposition, but no one to kiss.”

“My heart breaks for you.” said Scott flatly. She had no lied. She was incredibly attractive, and he had to admit that she was interesting if weird. Yet, he just did not feel right kissing her. It might make a certain someone else angry or sad, after all.

“Does it?” She smiled at him.

Scott stared at her for a moment. He had not really noticed it before due to wanting to get the issue over with, but there was a surprisingly similar appearance between the red haired ice cream nut, and rhea. Sure, the girl was human but they had similar features. If they were not different races he would have wondered if they were sisters.

“You stare at me with such an intense expression. My innocent maiden heart might not be able to stand it.” She batted her eye lashes cutely.

“Sorry, you just reminded me of someone... That’s all.” The facts that they had a similar appearance and were romantically aggressive were key factors.

“Really? Who might that be?” Sharde looked at him with a strange expression. It seemed to be formed half from curiosity and half from hope.

“Uh, my partner Rhea.”

“Partner?”

“Yeah, we’re in an adventuring party together. You sort of reminded me of her, for some reason.”

“Do I really?” Her expression became one of great joy.

“Yeah, a little.”

She reached out and grabbed his hand. “Is this girl, this Rhea, important to you? A girlfriend perhaps?”

“Well, yeah. I don’t really know what we are, but she’s important to Me.” he said. He knew that much was true. Scott was decidedly uncomfortable with her questions. He was about to tell her that, but she spoke up.

“Good. Be sure to tell her that some time, OK?” She reached into her pocket.

“What?” he asked, surprised.

Suddenly, she whipped her hand out of her pocket and threw something onto the floor. Smoke filled the room. Scott started to cough and his eyes began to water. The poor clerk had similar issues.

They ran out of the store and tried to catch their breath. As they did so, Scott heard a soft feminine giggle followed by a tender whisper. “Don’t forget that you owe me ice cream, Scott.”

He looked around but saw no one. It was as though she had vanished. He felt a hard slap against his backside before a loud laugh permeated the air.

His eyes widened in surprise. “Seriously, what the hell!”

The strange girl did not answer. Either she was being silent or she had truly left. Scott was more than a little unnerved by her ability to operate invisibly. How had she slapped his ass without him even seeing her?

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