Mmmmm, that sure smells good. Like a newly baked blueberry muffin at grandma’s place. Or like fresh bread from the baker when you’re on a diet and can’t eat bread. Like a little party in your nose.

Hm? Who am I? Why, I’m Karl! Proud leader of a good life and happy alive person, at your service! Well, that whole “life” and “alive” part might as well be scratched because, well, I’m pretty sure I’m dead. Which isn’t nice, but, then again, I can think, can’t I?

And, to boot, there’s this delicious, delicious smell wafting through the air. You know in those cartoons where the main character smells a pie, and the scent of the pie is shaped like a hand, waving seductively for the main character to come on, have a bite? Well, it’s like that, only I’m pretty sure the scent-hand punched me. But in a good way!

And what does this mean? The atheist death we all dread is nought! The Christians were right! Or, the Muslims? Well, the Jews could also have been right… and then there’s the Buddhists, too…

Well, I’m sure one of them was pretty much right, considering my current situation. Which is… darkness, and nice smell. And, also, now that I think about it… coarse. It’s like I’m standing on something coarse and rough, and I can feel it. With all five of my limbs.

…

...five?

Hold on, hold up, I’m bad at math, but not THAT bad!

Okay, we have one hand there, one hand there, one foot there, another foot there, and… another foot? No, not like a foot, more like… my butt? And, to boot, it feels like I have three pairs of ears on each side of my head…

Very confusing, yet interesting.

Can I touch it?...

I attempt to move my right arm just a little, feeling the previously static limb fill with life and motion, moving ever so slightly to touch whatever was up on my head, accidentaly touching my skin in the process.

It was… soft. And somewhat slick. Which my skin usually isn’t, so this is really weird no matter what has happened.

Wait…

Might it be…

Gasp! I’ve awoken from the matrix!!

I attempt to rise myself up dramatically, only to find myself to have already been standing.

On all fours.

Comfortably.

Hmmm.

Not the answer, eh?

Well, can I move the rest of my body?

Unlike what I would expected, all four/five of my limbs moved easily and without requiring too much thought, as if, well, they were a part of me. Which they are. Thankfully?

Whatever the case, moving them may be easy, but I had a feeling that actually walking might be a fair bit harder, which it was. And, to boot, this whole “not-being-able-to-see” deal was really messing with me.

I was blind, on all fours, with a possible really long butt, and weird things sticking out of my head.

...hold up.

Not joking, am I…

An axolotl?...

I love axolotls!!