The boiling soup behind me slowly dissipates into thin air as it prepares my new armor. The thought of adding some garlic to it does cross my mind, but I can't smell Italian all day.

Fumes with the scent of iron penetrate my nostrils as I sit on the couch with Risa. I've had more fun than you could imagine with the little girl I met just a few hours ago.

"Black flame of heavens." (Risa)

"No." (Me)

"Why? It's so cool!" (Risa)

"Don't like the 'Heaven' part. Gives me the heebie-jeebies." (Me)

"Oh... okay." (Risa)

Risa stops for a second and tries to think of another name for her acquired power. She rubs one of her horns in a stressed manner, her pride on the line. Over the past few hours I noticed that she puts a lot of value in these little things.

"ALRIGHT! HOW ABOUT THIS?!" (Risa)

She jumps from the sofa. She has long before taken off her robe, so her black, wide skirt is now completely visible along with the black turtleneck.

With one hand on her narrow hip and the other one in front of her cute face, she stands in front of me.

"ETERNAL DOO-" (Risa)

*DING!*

At that moment, my egg timer announces itself, causing Risa to jump a little. It was bad timing for her, but there's nothing you can do about it, there's little time left until Jess returns and I really want some time between us to bond.

"Well, that's it with the naming. Prepare yourself. This is just gonna take a second." (Me)

I take the pulp out of the pot and follow my usual routine, plastering it all over my self-made mannequin with the different joints and needed holes in mind. I've done this whole process more often than anyone could imagine, so it really only takes a few minutes.

Letting it cool down, I connect the different parts with sinews and different kinds of scraps. During the deed, I already notice how the hide contracts forcefully, becoming harder with every second.

Since I didn't get a magic stone from the corpse, the armor is finished in mere moments. It's quite disappointing that I still don't have anything to make decent equipment with, causing even this armor to be substandard quality to my standards.

'Gotta work with what you have...'

You created the gauntlets "Balloony gauntlets of the Flexodile"

Balloony gauntlets of the Flexodile

-Rank: Rare

-Attack: 800

- +20 STR

-Options: 1. Every kind of magically increased body part deals 15% more damage

Why would you need bigger-sized limbs?!

You know... for... stuff...

You created the armor set "Inflating Flexodile's bodywrap"!

Inflating Flexodile's bodywrap

-Rank: Rare

-Defense: 650

- +25 STR

-Options: 1. Once a day: Increase the size of one body part by 3x

...don't make a joke about the option.

'Don't tell me what to do.'

'You're not really gonna throw that daily effect away for a single joke, are you?'

'Don't tell me what to do.'

'I didn't. I was asking a question-'

I put the armor on as fast as I can, without taking the other person in the room into consideration, who's politely looking in the other direction, mind you. She might be a bit funky in her ways, but at least she's polite.

"Why is he suddenly changing in front of me?!" (Risa)

'Cause I'm all about that body positivity.'

'Yas bitch, slay.'

I put my head through the still stinking hole for the head, putting it all on in the end. The smell made me wish I had put garlic in the soup after all, but regret is something I have to live with.

"*Heavy breath*" (Me)

The grey from the Flexodile is clearly showing itself on the whole armor, having become even paler through the cooking process. There are many things I regret with this armor, I now realize, but I won't try to get better materials at this time of night. I'm not crazy.

Especially now that there are more pressing matters at hand.

"Risa, look!" (Me)

She turns her head over to me carefully, not knowing if I'm already done changing. Only when she sees that I long put the armor on, does she dare face me once again.

"Why didn't you wait until I was outside?" (Risa)

"Cause I was sure that you wouldn't mind just a half-naked person, considering you lived for eons." (Me)

At my statement, she gets a huge smile on her face. I'm elated at the fact that she's much easier to trick than Jess, but I'm also worried that someone in an ice-cream truck and a bright smile could take her away from me.

I've known her for barely half a day now and there's nothing I wouldn't do for her by now, to be honest.

I get attached very easily.

"YES! THAT'S RIGHT! I DID!" (Risa)

"But more importantly..." (Me)

I channel mana through my new armor, which reacts in a matter of seconds. It sucks up my magic power like a sponge, channeling every single molecule of the ethereal substance to a certain area, activating the only option it has in turn.

Turning a crisp 90°, I look at Risa who's now looking at my side.

"Does my ass look big in this armor?" (Me)

"PPFFFFFF!!" (Risa)

I caress my butt, which is now disproportionately large. It does feel kinda weird to have your own body inflated, but in no way unnatural.

"I mean, Kim Kard*shian has been pretty popular recently, so I was thinking about a bit of an image change... Do you think I overdid it?" (Me)

Risa drops on the floor, hitting it repeatedly with one hand and holding her belly with another. It's always nice to see someone appreciate my jokes.

'THROW IT BACK! DAMN! SHOW ME WHAT YOU'RE WORKING WITH!'

"HAHAHAHAHA! I CAN'T! WHY THE HELL DID YOUR BUTT GET BIGGER?!" (Risa)

"Why are you laughing? I'm really insecure about my figure~!" (Me)

After wriggling my ass around a few more times, I approach the still laughing Risa. As much as I would've enjoyed taking in the nice atmosphere we've had for the past few hours, I still haven't had enough action for today. I didn't escape Hell to relive another lifetime of monotony. I need some variety in my life.

"Eh?" (Risa)

I bend down, trying my best not to look like the squatting Omni-man meme, and pick her up with one arm. Her small stature makes it a lot easier to pick her up like a sack of potatoes.

"Now that we had a lot of fun with fat asses, it's time for some pillaging, matey!" (Me)

"W-wait a bit. I still need to prepa-" (Risa)

"Female detected, opinion rejected." (Me)

There isn't much time until dawn breaks, and, with that, until Jess arrives. As much as I cherish her, I'm sure she wouldn't be quite as ecstatic about a sudden second raid. Hence, it's only Risa and me this time.

With these words, I spread my wings and race into the night.

With astonishing speed, I jump through the streets, the night breeze cooling off my still warm armor. Much to my dismay, my ass deflates after about 5 minutes, which seems to be the limit of this new ability. I'm sure it has many practical uses, as the option increases the weight of the enlarged body part as well, fucking the law of conservation of mass right in the knickers.

It's magic, what did you expect?

There aren't many things I find more relaxing than a run under the moonlight, but with each jump, more monsters try to follow me. It doesn't take long for them to give up because of my speed, but it's still a mood-killer.

If they had been strong, we could've at least talked about it.

But despite the imminent danger and the nice workout I'm having at the moment, I couldn't be more elated.

"Aight, Risa-" (Me)

"Please slow down a little. I'm starting to get sick." (Risa)

She holds her hand in front of her mouth, the sudden nausea probably stemming from the way I'm holding her.

"Whoops." (Me)

I make it a bit more comfortable for her.

"Our plan for tonight: Have fun while I try some fun things out." (Me)

"With what?" (Risa)

I grab a monster that jumped in my way by its face and throw it into the stratosphere.

'Yoink.'

That's what people get for interrupting me.

"With the tower of flesh." (Me)

The aforementioned structure is already visible in the distance through its sheer size. To normal people, it would probably look intimidating, but it really just looks kinda funny to me.

I glance at Risa for a second, who seems to be one of these normal people. Her eyes are fixated on the pile of flesh, fear written all over her face.

Several questions pop into my head, slight curiosity tickling me. It isn't exactly common to meet someone in such a place, especially someone who's so afraid of it.

I'm not someone to pry, having a few mysterious aspects myself, so I just ask a single question.

"You scared?" (Me)

She finally averts her gaze from the sick building and looks at me.

"S-Scared?! Why would I be scared? Because those monsters look like they came out of my worst nightmares and are grosser than anything I have ever seen? Pfff, don't make me laugh." (Risa)

She puts her hand over her face again, reverting back to a persona. My mind wanders back to her powers we tried to name the whole night.

Scratch the part about not trying to pry.

"And how come you were in the tower, then?" (Me)

"I manifested out of darkness in that room. The singularity of gods caused me to lose the memory of my past lives, baffling me o-" (Risa)

"You don't remember?" (Me)

"Ah, no. I just remember that I was running away from something... that's it." (Risa)

Her lack of memories could come from several things. The merge isn't a perfect process and there can be side effects, after all. I highly doubt she'd remember anything about her powers in that case either.

Except if she lied, of course, but how could I doubt her?

'Still want to know where that black flame came from.'

'Is her power really such a big de-'

'Her power originated from fucking purgatory, one of the big three celestial factions. Yeah, no, I don't know why I'm so curious either.'

'...Sarcastic pri-'

'Fuck you.'

Seeing as we'll arrive at the tower in a second, I look at Risa one last time.

She's not comfortable with the whole situation, but you can't be picky in an apocalypse. You've gotta face your fears at one point. I know this isn't the slow and steady approach you should take in these situations, but who's got time for that?

I land in front of the small door of the tower once more. Nothing really changed from when we left a few hours ago, so I get right to doing what I wanted.

"Risa? What do you think is at the top of this tower?" (Me)

I crack my knuckles.

"Probably some end boss who I can destroy with my Eternal doom flare!" (Risa)

'So that was the name she came up with.'

"EXACTLY!" (Me)

I rotate my shoulder a bit. Never forget to stretch before exercising!

"And what do people never try in a dungeon novel or anywhere else with a dungeon?" (Me)

"Uhm..." (Risa)

She doesn't seem to know the answer, but still gives her best effort to think up of one. I'd have thought the answer would pop right in her head, considering her personality, but she doesn't seem to know it.

I approach the tower, activating every single one of my buffs. Don't want to be caught off guard again.

"Should I give you a hint?" (Me)

"Yes, please." (Risa)

I put my fist to my hip, getting ready to karate-strike the wall in front of us.

"They never try to destroy the dungeon itself." (Me)

'That's one big ass hint.'

Putting my all into this one punch, my fist collides with the tower. I might not have "Berserker" active, but there's still more than considerable power behind my fist.

My hand buries itself deep into the flesh.

And nothing happens.

"...was that supposed to happen?" (Risa)

At Risa's insensitive comment, I quickly wipe the tear off my cheek. Naivety can hurt sometimes.

"Don't make this any worse than it already is, please." (Me)

From the corner of my eye, I see something move with incredible speed.

Faster than my body can react, a tentacle formed from the tower, slapping me in the back of the head, burying me at least 5 centimeters deep into the ground.

"...What. The. Fuck." (Me)

'...'

'Don't you fucking say anything.'

'...dickslapped.'

'No, I wasn't.'

'...kinda hot.'

'You kinky bitch.'

I stand up from my very own silhouette in the ground, which the tower happily provided for me, and start stretching my legs for my next attempt. This was an official challenge and I won't let this sit on me.

"OH! OH! OH! Are you going to try and run up the tower now?" (Risa)

I look into the dark sky. The tip of the tower is partially hidden by clouds, which makes my idea just a bit more insane.

"Yeah, although it doesn't really seem like a good idea after getting slapped by one of these things..." (Me)

'Why would you try it then?'

'It looks fun?'

Risa looks in the same direction as I am, probably measuring the size of that thing.

"Well! Ain't gonna hurt to try!" (Me)

'He said after losing 10% of his HP after a single bitchslap.'

I bury the tip of my toes into the tower first. The wet warmth unpleasantly envelopes my feet, giving me more motivation to get this over with as quickly as possible. I just got these shoes.

I start running.

My explosive start makes me accelerate extremely quickly.

My ascend goes smoothly.

For exactly 5 meters, before I get slapped down again by what seems to be some kind of tentacle. To make matters worse, it's even wetter than the insides of the walls.

"Rude." (Me)

I'm back on the ground again, flat on my back, just laying there, taking in the atmosphere of the full moon.

And another tentacle bashes Into me, just for what seems like good measure. The sheer force behind it buries me deeper into the ground, taking another chunk of my HP with it.

"..." (Me)

'Trick, remind me that, if I ever manage to become high-level, I need to bring this whole thing down.'

'Sure thing, buddy.'

Risa crouches down beside me, checking in on me like the good girl she is, nearly giving me a glance of her panties.

Making sure that I'm still alive, she starts poking me.

"Are you still alive?" (Risa)

"Just a little bit more to the left." (Me)

"Hm?" (Risa)

She tilts her head to the side, clearly not having a clue what I'm talking about.

'She's way too pure for a fuckhead like you.'

'Oh yeah? What about you, Miss Asian girls armpit monta-'

'LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA I CAN'T HEAR YOU!'

I stand up from the second hole in the ground, which came out a bit deeper than the first one. I have to admit, it was more comfortable than I had anticipated but it's the way I got laid into that I don't like.

'This looks like a crime scene.'

"WELL!" (Me)

To signal the end of my research about the tower, I clap once. I didn't expect my plan to work in the first place, especially after seeing the spatial distortion inside the tower, so I can't be too hung up on this.

"Time to get in! I kinda want to try my new equipment." (Me)

'Whose effect you just fucking wasted.'

I take Risa by her collar, since she's already trying to escape, and drag her into the tower, before getting a last bitchslap by a tentacle.

"You're so immature." (Me)

'Imagine talking to a building.'

'Imagine talking to a voice in my fucking head. You tell me what makes more sense.'

'I'm not crying.'

We enter the room in which we fought the first wave of monsters and the Flexodile. The corpses have seemingly been cleaned up by someone or something, so the hall is all pretty and tidy. It's nice that Risa didn't have to see all the scorched bodies she created again. I'm not sure how well she'd react to that.

Skipping towards the next door, I feel Risa's body stop struggling. She's accepted her fate, enabling me to continue without worry.

Despite my current trauma from the tentacles, I dare open the fleshy door connecting to the next floor. A long-winded stairway greets us, which we gladly ascend.

With each step up, weird fluids appear under my shoes like puddles, urging me to hurry even more. I curse my luck for having the physical build of the two of us, making me the only one who can carry the other.

When will the time come for me to be carried?

My hand knocks against the odd wooden door twice.

*Knock knock*

'I learned from last time.'

I try to make my voice sound as nice as possible, clearing it beforehand once or twice. First impressions are crucial.

"Excuse me, but have you heard of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ?" (Me)

*

*

Heaven.

A person with long brown hair and a magnificent beard is buried under a pile of what seems like documents. Despite his visible fatigue, the light he radiates covers the whole room in gentle warmth. Anyone in his presence would instantly feel their own worries and past trauma be washed away.

Suddenly, the person that everyone has depended on since birth starts shivering all over, just like a few weeks ago. He jumps up from his gold-adorned chair, the fatigue replaced by sudden shock.

There aren't many things that could give him such a feeling.

The horrors he's seen in his career haven't had such an effect on him.

The battles he's been through can barely imitate a fraction of this emotion.

"Oh Lord, something is wrong." (???)

*Stamp*

He thinks about the last time he started to get such bad premonitions. They've become more and more common recently, much to his distress. He tried again and again to explain this phenomenon in his infinite wisdom, but his thoughts always go back to one answer.

One answer he dreads more than anything else.

"He couldn't have escaped. No. There's literally no way." (???)

Satisfied by his own reassurance, a forced smile spreads on his face. He instinctively hides behind a mountain of documents.

*

*

Back to the dungeon.

'I know that little bitch can feel me saying his name.'

I stifle a nostalgic smile, remembering all the good memories my little brother and I have made together over the years. I probably made more than he did, but I'm sure somewhere we both enjoyed it.

From inside the room I just knocked on, I hear sudden roaring and growling. A horde of monsters is once more waiting on the other side of this door.

Disappointed by the lack of creativity, I turn to Risa, who's looking back at me with a bit of fear.

"...puberty. Unbelievably rude, right?" (Me)

She just nods.

I push down the handle and enter the crowded instance, but, unlike my expectation, the monsters don't attack me immediately.

'Gotta take this chance then.'

I scan the room, looking for what we're gonna be up against.

The various Lizardmen, who additionally have arms of gorillas, just stand there, looking at me like last time. None of the monsters in this tower seem to have the best reflexes.

Wondering why I would ever give any of them a chance to react, I grab one of the lizardmen by his face and activate "Ember".

The room gets filled with the smell of roasted chicken, as my hand burns through his incredibly ugly face. I feel the heat from my hands increasing, and finally scorching that guy's whole face.

The corpse drops to the floor, but the monsters are still not moving.

"A midnight snack anyone?" (Me)

Provocation activated successfully!

And then they attack me.

I take Risa on my shoulder and jump up a few meters into the air, the same plan we had on the floor below in mind.

"How about we just repeat the tactic from last time?" (Me)

"Fufu, so you want me to do all the work again? I guess it can't be helped." (Risa)

"What level are you again?" (Me)

Risa's black flame flutters in the wind, as she sends it towards the horde.

"Hm? Level 23. Why?" (Risa)

"Yeah, you need it more than me." (Me)

Multiple flames levitate through the air, but since the monsters don't stack on top of each other this time, it spreads much slower.

That doesn't mean that this fight is in any way more difficult than the last one though.

The Lizardmen are armed but have less armor than any of the monsters in the last room. This makes them die quicker than anti-vax children.

I stop jumping from wall to wall and do a cannonball directly on one of the scalies. His guts splatter all over my grey bottom, as he gets crushed under me.

"Don't be such a bitch about it. My ass isn't that fat." (Me)

'You jumped off a wall with about 150 km/h. I don't think he's just a drama queen.'

'Are you saying I'm fat?'

'Yes.'

I bury my hand in the next chest with "Ember" still activated and grab his heart. The pulsating heat it gives off is dwarfed by "Ember", barely amounting to a slight feeling of warmth.

It pounds a few more times in my palm until it stops.

"At least he had some burning passion." (Me)

'His heart was on fire for you.'

'HA!'

'HA!'

I glance at Risa, who's now burning the last one to the ground. Now that we already fought together once, coupled with the fact that these lizardmen were much less tenacious than the Brady bunch a floor below us, this fight didn't take nearly as long as the first one.

But she doesn't seem to relax, even though we absolutely crushed it.

"What are you doing?" (Me)

"Obviously, another boss is going to appear." (Risa)

"Well, thanks to that statement, he won't." (Me)

I can still smell the burned lizard flesh, waking a certain appetite in me. The gourmet in me wants to take one of these corpses back home, but I'm not sure what the two girls would think about lizard-filet.

"Risa? Care to go home? I kinda wanna eat someth-" (Me)

I stop mid-sentence. At my sudden silence, Risa looks at me with question marks all over her face.

"Are you alright?" (Risa)

I point at the exit, slightly vexed.

"Uhm... why is it closed?" (Risa)

"Cause the tower is throwing a fit." (Me)