《The Long and Exciting Life of Kreet the Kobold (Life 2)》The Shining Skink

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Kreet sighed, "Sig, are you trying to get us expelled from the city before we get in? Get your hand off your sword."

However, she was also casting her own modification of the Hold Person spell. Over the years Kreet had learned how to modify spells from their original effects. It was a talent of her race that she had learned over the years, and not so different from Kallid's recently demonstrated ability to see a human bra and adapt it to that which she now wore. Her kind were good at grasping a concept quickly and modifying it to their own needs.

Sigmundurr's sword had suddenly seemed to turn to solid lead in his hand, though in reality it was the Hold spell, reduced and concentrated only on his sword arm. He dropped it back into place.

However, her speech had another effect. The guards stopped and looked at her as if she'd cast Hold Person on them as well.

"What the hell? Did that kobold just talk?!"

Kreet turned to the city guardsman, but before she could reply Kallid stepped in front of her.

"Of course she can talk. Do you think a Cleric of Pelor wouldn't be capable of speech?"

The guards looked at each other and started to laugh.

"Well don't that beat all? Talking kobolds. And this one playing at being a Cleric! Oh, that's rich! Are you taking them to the comedy at the theater?"

"Um... sure. That's right. They're for the... comedy," Sigmundurr replied hesitantly, but Kreet cut him short.

"We certainly are not! We are here to see the Bishop. Here. This was given me by the High Priest of Pelor at Fandain," she said, proffering her writ like a paper shield and mustering up all the indignant righteousness she could manage.

One of the guards squinted at the paper and turned back to the other.

"Looks official. But I don't know. Letting kobolds in? I mean, talking or not, they're still fucking kobolds."

"You'd better go get the captain," the first said, then turned back to the trio. "As for you, you stay right here."

Kreet put the paper back in her pack. "We certainly will."

In fact, they ended up sitting in the shade of the city wall for an hour before the first guard returned with another man dressed in civilian clothes.

"Okay, now what's all this then?" he said officiously, despite his clothes. "What's this I hear about talking kobolds and why did you interrupt my breakfast?"

The other guard pointed to where Kreet, Kallid and Sigmunder were rising from beside the wall.

"Oh. So what's this then. Why are you trying to bring these kobolds inside my city?" he demanded from Sigmundurr.

Kreet answered, "I am here to see the Bishop of Pelor. I have a writ from the High Priest at Fandain if you want to see it."

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The man jumped back at least two feet.

"Fuck me!"

"Holy shit. She does talk!"

Kreet rolled her eyes again. "Of course I talk. Now are you going to let us in or not?"

"I'm sorry. Give me a second. When they said you talked, I just thought you managed a word or two. Please understand, I've never heard of a talking kobold, okay?"

"Well now you have. I gather you're the captain of the city guard. I also gather the Bishop is a somewhat powerful person in your city. I don't think he'd much appreciate you delaying one of his people."

The man straightened up and donned a more serious look. "You understand, it's our job to keep out anyone or anything that might be a danger to our citizens. We wouldn't be doing our duty if we just let some random kobolds in, now would we? It's only right that we first be sure!"

Kallid interrupted, "So, you're saying a Cleric of Pelor is a danger?"

"Well, no. But... Look, you can't just go wandering around the city. You'd have more guards called out as soon as someone sees you anyway."

Kreet sighed again. She didn't like it, but she had a pretty good idea what might work.

"Okay, how about this. We'll tie ropes around our necks and Sigmundurr here can lead us in. The locals will just see two kobolds in bondage and will know we're no threat. Would that work?"

The captain considered it for a minute. "That's not a bad idea. And you won't say anything bad about us to the Bishop?"

"It's my idea," she said. "No problem."

"Okay. But you two have to remove your armor. Right? Slaves can't go around wearing armor."

Kreet was already pulling off her chainmail. It felt better already to be free of the cumbersome weight.

"Whoa!" the guard behind the captain exclaimed.

"What?" Kreet scowled.

"Sorry, you just... you look different from the kobold's I've seen."

"And how many kobolds have you seen, guardsman?" she said, smiling inwardly.

The captain shot his underling a glare and the man closed his mouth.

Meanwhile Sigmundurr took a rope and wrapped it loosely around Kreet's neck, handing her the end, and then did the same around Kallid's.

"Will this do?"

The captain shook his head. "It's not even tied."

"Will this do?" Kreet demanded.

"Alright, alright. It'll do. Just... don't get into any trouble."

"We won't start any trouble, Captain. I give you my word on that."

"The word of a kobold."

"The word of a Cleric of Pelor."

At that the Captain nodded and gestured toward the gate.

Kreet began walking toward it with Kallid behind and Sigmundurr towing the horses.

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"Wait!" the Captain said. "He should be leading you!"

"You said nothing about what order we have to go in," Kreet pointed out, a slight smile in her voice, and kept on walking.

As Sigmundurr passed the silent Captain, he added, "Well, you didn't!"

The Captain shook his head. "Just... be careful okay. Don't make me regret this. There's a stable just inside a few buildings down on your right."

**************************

After they'd put the horse and ponies away, the returned back out to the street. The rope around their necks was already gone. One of the watchmen at the gate saw them and just shook his head but resumed his duties

"Still, we'd better stay close to Sig," Kreet said to Kallid. "It is best we make it clear we're supposed to be here."

"So what's the plan?" Sig asked. "I don't know my way around here at all."

"Well, we really need to get a place to stay first. Ask somebody where there's an inn. A cheap inn."

People did stare at the kobolds as they passed, but it seemed as long as they acted as if they belonged, no one said anything at least. They were directed to an inn not too far from the gates, but the price was way too high. Kreet suspected it had gone up when the owner had seen the kobolds. The innkeeper seemed relieved when they decided to not to stay, but he did suggest another place in the slum district.

"It's going to be pretty bad," Sigmundurr said as they continued on into the city. "For that price, it's bound to be."

"It's what we can afford," Kreet said, not terribly worried. "How are you doing, Kallid?"

"Much better here in the shade of these buildings. Did you see that one back there? How do they even build them that high?!"

"I saw. And there's bigger ones that way," Kreet said, gesturing to her right. "That must be the center of the city."

"Kinda stinks though," Kallid pointed out.

"Yeah. I noticed."

Sigmundurr laughed. "You'll get used to it. All these people in one place. It's gonna stink. The slum will be worse. Crap and piss in the street. Unwashed people. You sure?"

"I'm sure Sig. At least till we get jobs or something, and who knows how long that will take. We've got to expect it will be a while."

An hour later they were still walking.

"We haven't passed it have we?" Sig asked. "We could ask someone."

"I've been counting," Kreet assured him, "and there's signs on the corner buildings that list the block numbers. Haven't you noticed?"

Sigmundurr shrugged. "Can't read."

"Oh. Sorry," she said, realizing she should have known that. "Well he said it was in block one hundred and four. That's about twenty more."

They continued on, when finally they reached the block number. The place was obviously poor. Even ramshackle. The core of the block buildings were built of similar stone and brick material as the richer areas had been, but they had been augmented by obviously shoddy additions towards the streets, where she saw children playing and entire families living. And Sig wasn't wrong about the sanitation. Fortunately there was a good breeze and the worst of it was swept away. That wouldn't always be the case.

"Well," Sigmundurr said as they looked around for the inn, "At least it doesn't look dangerous. Just poor."

"Kally, do you realize what would happen here if one of these shacks caught fire?" Kreet whispered.

"Whoosh!" he replied quietly.

"Hey!" said a grubby boy to Kallid, running up to them. "Are you a baby dragon?"

"I," Kallid said proudly, "am a kobold."

"But are you a baby dragon? Where's your wings?"

"Not a dragon," Kreet said. "A kobold."

"What's a kobold?"

Kallid laughed. "A baby dragon!"

"Kallid! We are not dragons. What's your name? I'm Kreet."

Three other kids were angling their way closer. Apparently this one was just the bravest of the bunch.

"I'm Jack. That's Gerty, Main and Paula."

"Hi Jack. This is my husband, Kallid. We're new here. Hey, there's supposed to be an inn around here somewhere. We're looking for it. Do you know where it is?"

The others had gotten close enough by now. The one called Gerty pointed at a building down the street. "The Shitting Stank". It's over there. Are you going to stay there?

Kreet scrunched her nose at the name, which set the kids laughing.

Jack explained, "It's The Shining Skink. But we don't call it that."

"Not sure if we're going to stay there or not yet."

"Oh stay!" cried the littlest, a girl named Paula. "We like baby dragons!"

"We'll see, Paula. We'll see," Kreet said and turned back to Sigmundurr.

"The Shitting Stank."

"Sounds like what we can afford."

"Alright. Let's go check it out. How bad can it be?"

As they were approaching, a woman walked out, throwing her apron on the ground and cursing behind her. Equally foul language was heard inside, ending with "Good riddance!"

The three looked at each other as the woman stalked down the street.

Kreet picked up the apron and tried it on for size.

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