《Azran - Magic King of the Darkness(Finished Volume 1/Dropped Volume 2)》Chapter 22 - Tastes Like Chicken
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Azran the Magic King of Darkness
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Azran POV
I looked around as I entered the void. I can't believe Markal and Minerva thought that Cyril, that pathetic wannabe king, was a serious threat. I mean I sent the guy and his entire army to Hell.
I had totally forgot about him. He never actually posed a serious threat and as far as I know has absolutely no power. I wonder what that Oracle sh*thead was thinking. I mean even if absolutely everything he said comes true, I don't see why I would fall into despair. I mean I might be a bit p*ssed off that Lucy is married to a total loser, but that is her decision. And I would actually support Cthulu if he decided to marry some Demon b*tch.
Hey, I married a celestial being\God-Eater, a sword-woman Dark ELf, and a female Demon King with a penchant for torture. There was also that Beastgirl, but she has sex with Navaris more than with me........I should really get around to breaking her mind some time. Hmm. Maybe after I find and kill this Cyril character. Anyway, I'm pretty happy, so all I have to make sure of is that they are too.
Hmm. That's weird. Markal said that they had thrown Cyril into the void, but I can't seem to sense him. Is he really strong enough to cloak his presence from me?
No, No. That is totally impossible. That Cyril guy is totally weak. Hmm. But he is in the Void, and the only person who can completely control the Void is.........Navaris. Ugh. You have got to be kidding me.
'Navaris, You wouldn't have happened to hide Cyril from me would you? Because I can't find him in the Void.'
'Oh, was that who that strange soul was. Sorry about that, but you won't find him there.'
'Ooookay, so where is he?'
'I don't know. I didn't like him floating around in my former home, so I just reincarnated him. Sorry, but there is nothing I can do. So, I guess that we'll just have to screen every boy who tries to date Sirenia's daughter.'
Hmm. Well, I suppose I could just kill everyone who asks Lucy out. I'm sure that that will solve the problem. Yep, that is the answer to all of my problems. Just kill all potential boyfriends. Works for me. My problems as a father are now over.
'Allright, well nothing we can do about it now. I'll be home soon. I just have to stop and have some deep fat fried God Soul on the way back.'
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'Huh, Deep fat fried God Soul? What's that?'
'Hmm. Well it's kind of like KFC but with a God's soul instead of chicken. I haven't tried it yet, but it should turn out nice. I mean, everything tastes good when it's deep fat fried, even butter.'
'Whatever. Come home soon, I want you to add a little of that powdered God Soul to the milk for the kids.'
'Sure, just give me about half-an-hour.'
Huh. I didn't think she would accept giving the powdered God Soul to the kids so quickly. Whatever. I teleported back to the room where I was conducting the experiment. A pot of boiling cooking oil was hanging over a fire.
I quickly rolled all three God Souls in the flour\breading mixture, before dropping them into wire basket and lowering them into the boiling oil for about 5 minutes. I always wanted to try Fried God Soul.......Okay, I had never even thought of it before but it was still interesting.
I lifted the basket out of the oil and dropped it on the table, splattering scalding grease everywhere. I pulled the crystals out, and bit into one.
Although it was a crystal, for some reason it was soft. Hmm........Tastes like chicken. Seriously, it tastes exactly like chicken. WHY THE F*CK DOES EVERYTHING TASTE LIKE CHICKEN!!!
Whatever. I quickly ate all three crystals in a matter of moments. Yep, they all taste just like f*cking chicken. Hmm. I think I'm forgetting something. Oh, yeah. Didn't something happen last time I ate a God's soul?
Hmm. Oh yeah, didn't I drop into horrible convulsions and have my body torn apart, and rebuilt. And I just ate three of them..........OH, SH*T!!!
I teleported back to my house before collapsing on the floor in convulsions. WHY DO I NEVER SEEM TO LEARN ANYTHING!!!!!!! Seriously. No matter how many times something happens to me, I just seem to repeat the same mistakes again and again.
Lucy POV
My name is Lucy, and today I am one year old. Today Aunty Lana is teaching me to count. She is using something called a whip, to hit a bunch of naked human girls.
She tells me that when she swings the whip, a red line appears on the girl's back, and that makes one. And if she swings it twice, then she makes two red lines, and that means two.
Then if she hits the next girl three times, then three red lines appear. So 1 + 2 = 3.
Then she let's me try. Yaaay! This if fun. I get to make red marks, and still get to tell Mommy, that I learned how to count. I will make little marks on paper, and Mommy will be so pleased.
But Aunty Lana tells me that we should keep this number learning a secret. I don't like hiding things from Mommy, but that's okay. This is even more fun than when I'm with Daddy and he let's me break stuff.
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Hmm. the human garbage is making a strange sound, Aunty Lana says it is called screaming. I like screaming. It is so much fun to make them scream.
HAHAHAHA! Aunty Lana just broke out laughing. She tells me that I am a natural. THIS IS AN AWESOME BIRTHDAY!
Cthulu POV
My name is Cthulu and today is my first birthday. Today Mother is teaching me how to use the powers of the void. I quietly listen as she explains and shows me how to use them. I silently copy what she does perfectly.
I am also watching Lucy, as Aunt Lana teaches her about torture, under the guise of learning how to count. They are hidden in a warehouse, but they can't hide from me. No one can.
I can see everything, and anything I want to. Spells, and stone, nothing is able to block my vision. I can see through every obstacle. I have not told anyone about this ability, because it is very useful.
I can spy on anyone without them knowing about it. I thought I was being smart, but Father knows about my ability. He visited me and told me that it was called endless sight, and if it was trained right, would allow me to see the future.
When I asked him how he knew that I had that ablity, he laughed before whispering that he knew everything that was worth knowing. Amazing. Father is a genius.
He even taught me some things that he called Forbidden Spells. He said something about them being capable of destroying massive areas and that I should only use them as a last resort. He also taught me how to use emotions to power your spells, in contrast to Mother, who uses concentration to achieve her spells.
I am now able to use both types of spells. Father says that one day I will rival him in power, and that my half-sister and I were going to be the rulers of this world.
Incredible. Father has already prepared a base for us to rule the world from. I truly do have amazing parents, to be so generous. This is a very good birthday.
Azran's Mom and Dad POV(From both their views, sort of.)(I am too lazy to give them actual names.)
We are very happy these days. We have a set of cute granchildren, and Marie is trying to convince George to get her pregnant since she adores both Cthulu and Lucy.
We visit them about once a month, by traveling through Hell, to the other world where Azran lives. Mom was a little worried about the cost of doing that once a month, but Dad worked out a deal with Markal.
For being the Devil, Markal is rather worried about his wife's pregnancy. Since Dad has already been present for several births, he provides therapy and counciling for Markal in return for a free pass through Hell at any time.
Oddly enough, Dad and Markal seem to get along great. I suppose this is that male bonding sh*t men are always talking about. Whatever. Minerva's not so bad herself.
Of course she is a sadistic psychopath.....but Hey, nobody's perfect. She does care about Markal.....In a twisted homicidal manner but still she has made their marriage work despite her husbands many failings.
You've got to admire that about a girl. If she wants it to happen then she makes it work. No two ways about it.
We always have a great time whenever we visit. While having several wives is definitely different, Azran was always a 'special' child, so his needs would obviously be different. Anyway. We approve of his wives for the simple fact that they love him. We really are lucky granparents.
Navaris POV
I watched Cthulu, my son as he closed his eyes and twisted the powers of the void to his own liking. He is similar to Azran in that he seems to grasp almost any magical concept instantly.
He may have my powers over the void, but he is a genius in dark magic, just like Azran is. Well, at least he isn't an insane psychopath like Azran. Not that there is anything wrong with insane psychopaths, I just don't think that the world would be able to handle another Azran.
Cthulu is a rather quiet boy. Even for a one-year old. It seems that the Oracle guy was right about what has occurred so far. It is strange though. I do not see why anyone would despair from his prophecy. Perhaps he spent too much time looking at the future and went insane.
Oh, Well. He is gone now and our lives are relatively peaceful. If you count having an insanely overpowered, son and step-daughter as being peaceful. And let's not forget, about being visited by an overprotective Devil who is having therapy sessions to deal with his wife's pregnancy and upcoming birth.
Our lives are really never dull are they. Well, I wouldn't have it any other way. I spent an eternity alone, and hated and feared by all. I will never return to that time again. I have a good husband, a strong son, and several.......Hmm. I really don't know how to classify the other girls. Maybe as Mistresses? Whatever. The point is I am happy here. And if some f*cking moron tries to take any of this away. Let's just say that no one has ever seen me truly angry......And lived to tell about it.
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