Chapter 4

Roguish Charm

Tyler Wilson - Weasel, Rogue, Prankster

20 years prior to launch

“Backstab, Backstab!” Tyler yelled.

He jammed the F4 key on his keyboard to trigger the macro. He had dozens of them, but this one allowed his character to shadow step behind the boss and deliver the killing blow using backstab. In one smooth motion his rogue delivered the coupe de grâce. The boss collapsed to the ground and a loot chest appeared on a pedestal at the rear of the room.

His guild mates cheered and rushed to the chest to claim their prizes. All the gear and items in the chest were trash to Tyler. He already had the best gear and weapons in the game. As a senior member of the guild, they required him to run noobs through the dungeons to gear them up for raids and guild competitions. The only time Tyler enjoyed playing anymore was against other players. None of the quests, dungeons, and raids provided much entertainment. They were just too easy, and he didn’t even remember the last time he had struggled to beat one.

Someone needs to make a new game I can enjoy, thought Tyler.

He loved massively multi-player online games, or MMO, but there was no challenge anymore. When a player hit the end game content and beat the final boss, the challenge faded. Tyler would get the best gear and weapons and then everything became rote. He could go around to the towns looting and killing for the heck of it, but solo play also held no appeal to him. He preferred games that required teamwork and strategy; games that depended on group composition and skill.

Too bad Dungeon Quest didn’t have an online version.

Everything about Dungeon Quest was so much more fun than any of the current MMO’s out there. He played with his best friends, they made their own strategies, his characters were custom made, and they had an amazing GM. Tyler recalled the game last weekend and the goblin encounter. He’d thought about sabotaging Aaron and forcing the encounter, but held himself in check. For Dungeon Quest, he was always a team player. Any other time, he had no qualms about screwing with people.

Aaron, you lucky son of a gun, Tyler thought and grinned.

If not for the stealth check Aaron received, they would have wiped and ended game. Then again, whatever Tristen had planned with his surprise, they may need to restart, anyway. Whatever it was, he refused to spill the beans. Tyler suspected it was a new hair-brained concoction of death and intrigue or perhaps a new expansion for the game. Tristen came up with new ideas that put the party in dire circumstances all the time. In fact, it had been a month or two since the last, so it made sense he would introduce a new one soon.

Either way, Tyler planned to roll the same character he always did. He had resolved to roll the same character in any game he played, no matter the medium. It suited him and mimicked his persona in the real world. He didn’t steal or throw daggers at anyone, but he often sneaked around and played pranks on people.

I can’t wait until tomorrow!

Tomorrow marked the day of his biggest achievement in pranks to date. Junior high ended in just two weeks and everything aligned for this day to be epic. If everything went as expected, there would be no evidence to point back to him. The school year had been drab, and he hoped to end it with a flourish and bow.

There were five planned pranks, one for each of his classes. He needed to get everything lined up, which was difficult when all the classrooms were in constant use. Tomorrow the stars aligned because every one of his classes would be empty the hour prior. Half of the school was out on a field trip for the day. His class went on the field trip two weeks prior and that’s when he’d schemed his masterful plan.

Tyler’s first hour was a free period. He should have used that hour to study for upcoming exams, but not tomorrow. This time he had lot’s of preparation work to do. Only half of the teachers were on staff today. That left the hallways and classrooms empty, perfect for his devious endeavors.

His first class of the day, Biology, would take time to set up since there were a “lot” of parts to set up. He figured it was a biology class so why not add more life! Just behind the door to the classroom rested a two foot by two foot vent cover. When the door to the classroom was open, the entire vent and some wall remained hidden.

Perfect!

This prank involved a bunch of fake cockroaches with super glue on their feet. He had spent hours searching online and in local stores for the most realistic replication he could find. The first stage of the plan involved placing the fake roaches in between the slats of the vent, followed by a trail of them leading behind a table. To make the prank even more realistic, he’d purchased a couple roaches that were battery operated and their antennae waved back and forth. For the roaches that would be into the vents, their antennae were pliable and could move from the air circulation of the vent.

Throughout the year, Tyler had tested all kinds of face insects to see which one scared his teacher the most. Centipedes, cockroaches, and spiders all elicited a health scream, but it seemed the one that grossed her out the most was a cockroach. This one time, he’d found a slim and flexible roach and placed it under her coffee mug-

"Hahaha…," erupted Tyler in a healthy belly laugh.

His teacher had shrieked so loud and dropped the mug where the contents spilled all over the floor.

I think she threw that mug away after that incident, mused Tyler.

She swept the roach into the garbage with a piece of paper, unable to tell if it was real. Tyler retrieved it later, and she was none the wiser. Maybe she thought it was real and had crawled away. One lesson she would learn after today, never show your fears and weaknesses to a class of ruthless teenagers!

Math class…, reflected Tyler while he rubbed his hands together in anticipation.

The next prank wasn’t as elaborate and he didn’t need to buy anything for this one. His teacher was an older, balding guy that seemed ancient. He wore thick rimmed glasses that made him look like he had bug eyes, not to mention he was a mouth-breather. It annoyed Tyler so much and when the guy talked, it was as if no air-flow passed through the beak that was his nose. Worse, when they took a test, he walked up and down the aisles huffing and wheezing. It was so much worse than Vader; at least Vader’s resulted from machine-assisted breathing.

Tyler believed it was a ploy to make them fail every quiz and test. The balding, mouth-breathing antagonist loved to write everything on the chalkboard. Then, he erased it and wrote over the half-erased lines until it was impossible to distinguish anything. Today, the protagonist, Tyler, had a plan to assure a victorious confrontation.

You and your chalk-wielding machinations will end!

For the past week he searched for videos and pranks that involved chalk or chalkboards and had decided on an old, tried, and true prank; slivers of chalk stuffed into the erasers. If stuffed just far enough, they weren’t visible when inspected. When the teacher went to erase the board, the pressure activated the hidden substance within and resulted in the complete ruination of the antagonists plot to confuse and distract innocent bystanders.

His enemy also kept spare weapons in his desk and Tyler resolved to booby-trap them. He contemplated going to other classrooms and setting traps. Unfortunately, at least one of those classes would be in session during his setup time. His victory may be short-lived, but he planned to revel in every second of his success.

The third prank was not for a teacher, but rather the librarian. Tyler worked as a student helper during fourth period putting books back on the shelves. He didn’t help out of the goodness of his heart, he wanted to get out of study hall for that period. The ruthless attendant quelled any talking or socializing that didn’t pertain to school.

Who the heck wants to sit in a study hall at school and do they same thing as at home? Tyler shook his head at the thought. Definitely not me, nope!

The librarian for the school was a volunteer, and he felt a little bad, but overruled himself on account of this being his last hurrah before the end of the year. This prank required more risk than the rest of them today. He needed all stats to the max today if he hoped to pull this one off.

What is the one cardinal rule for any library? He had asked himself.

That cardinal rule went out the windows today as he orchestrated a prank that shattered that rule in epic proportions. He bought three air, like the ones that people used at sports events to make as much noise as possible. He wanted to place these under chairs in strategic locations throughout the library. The final canister belonged under the librarians chair.

The biggest issue with placing that canister involved culpability. He would be the only other person in the library so needed to get the prank set up before he went on duty to avoid suspicion. He could feign complete innocence and shock when she triggered the prank. To do that, he needed to get there before his time slot and set it up when the librarian went into the stacks to put books back.

This prank hinged on a perfect storm. First, he needed the librarian to step away from her desk move to a location where her desk was not in sight. He would then rush to the desk and dive underneath while he set up the prank. Then, he needed her to stay away from the desk long enough to zip tie the can of air to the chair post. Last, he had to ensure she was looking away while he sprinted back out of the library. Then he could walk in a few minutes later. If all went according to plan, she wouldn’t sit down on the chair until after he’d arrived to help. If she triggered the prank while he was out of the room, it would ruin all of his careful preparation.

This will be the best day of school ever!

The other two pranks were less elaborate and involved clear wood glue in the sanitizer bottle for English class and saran wrap on the toilets in the teachers bathroom. His English teacher was a germ freak, and she used the sanitizer half a dozen times in a forty-five minute period. As for the teacher’s bathroom, that was only possible because half of the teachers were on vacation or out at the field trip today.

It would be an epic day!

Tyler wanted to pull these pranks on Thursday instead of Friday in the event that he got caught. That way if he went to detention his parents could ground him on Friday and he'd still make it to Tristen's house on Saturday. No matter how much he enjoyed pranks, he loved Dungeon Quest more. He always made sure not to do anything that jeopardized his chances of playing on Saturdays.

Besides, I don’t think they could play without me, anyway. I’m the primary damage dealer…

This week would be even more fun with the surprise that Tristen had in store for them. Tyler had spent the past few days thinking about what the surprise was, but still suspected it was a new scenario. The new scenario likely involved lots of death, destruction, and close calls. Tristen always granted the party a horrible death at the hands of a vile end game boss. He never granted mercy on the party and sat there in smug arrogance when his creation destroyed them.

Even if we get killed from whatever he has planned, I can’t wait! Thought Tyler.

In the meantime, pranks must go on…