In minutes the mood of the crowd was completely different. No longer was everyone just trying to survive. Now the mood after victory was infectious and cheering could be heard all around me.

Littered on the floor were the corpses of our enemies. A few people started to throw them over the wall and gathering everything into piles. Lines of people with buckets dowsed the few scorched parts of the wall in water to make sure no fire would spread.

The scene was something I never imagined seeing in real life. I thought I understood a little of the realities of wars, but no film or depiction of a battle could ever encompass reality. The smell scorched flesh, the sight of the little that was left from a few of the enemy, and the sheer ferocity with which they attacked deeply affected me.

I was not really in shock, I knew that much. But I could also not affirm to be completely ok either. Thinking back at everything that happened I found we got really lucky. If the enemy plan had succeeded we would at least be dealing with much more destruction and permanent casualties.

This is not the place for me. I need some time to think it over.

Walking back, I see that no black tags have bee put on any doors in our makeshift hospital. If everyone survived this long they will probably make it. New people stream in to take care of smaller injuries. And people with basic cotton bandages leave after they have been attended.

It’s good we managed to organize well our efforts to save everyone.

I aimlessly head in the central square direction and distracted don’t notice Charlie approaching.

“Nash, wait up.”

Looking back, I stop and see him coming. With purposeful strives, he gets to my side.

“Are you checking up on me? Don’t you have more important things to do?”

With a nonchalant tone, I heard his response.

“For now, everyone is already doing their best. I just took a few minutes to take care of something else of importance.”

Not giving in I lightly question. “ And what could be so important?”

“You. It may not look like, but you are a more important part of our village then you realize.”

“How so?”

“Some of your efforts could just as well be run by other people. But innovation in everything you do would be stifled. Be it magic or all we need to do in the production of steel. You are in some ways the most important person in the village.”

“I may not be aware of everything, but I’m certain you are exaggerating.”

“No, I’m not. And even if that is true, this is not what half the village believes. Everybody who pays attention knows you only sleep two hours a night. Just the fact you are so tireless has a huge impact on everyone.”

“I just was used to sleep only a couple hours, back on Earth.”

“It doesn’t matter why. They see you, and it is an inspiration. Only a few people dislike you, the rest is impressed that you manage to push us so far. Case in point, you just jumped in front of a huge fireball and into a battle to save a couple of people.”

“I didn’t mean to do that,” I say a bit exasperated. “I have no idea what got in my mind.”

“Everyone knows you may have high stats, but your combat skills are not that great. And twice, you just pumped in the fray without though.”

I let the words wash over me and think about the ramifications. I don’t want to be a hero. That’s a recipe for disaster. The first time I screw the pooch, they will eat me alive. I just need to keep on the down-low. Thinking about the actual real reason he must have come here, I say:

“Do you know what I did back on Earth?”

“No idea. I mean for I all I know you were a mountain monk.”

With a sad smile and a chuckle, I say thinking of better days:

“I lived in Pando, you know, the magical forest.”

“Yeah. My daughter talked about it all the time.” I see him choke up, so I say.

“Yeah, was she younger than 12?”

“No, she was 16. She is smart and can take care of herself, but I still worry.” After a moment he asks me tactfully. “Your family?”

“My parents, but I’m not concerned.”

Charlie gives me a strange look and I explain.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love them. But I’m pretty sure there is something broken within me. As long as I don’t hear that something bad happened to them, I will be fine.”

“I don’t want to offend you, but I'm certain there is something wrong with you.”

“People tend to be more than they seem.”

“And what more are you?”

“Like I was saying, I lived in Pando. Though those words don’t encompass my role in the grove. When I was 8 years old I went to the forest for the first time. That was the day I learn what death was, and it deeply impacted me.”

I tell him my story. For the first time since I was born, I show someone who I truly am. I tell the truth, the whole truth, hiding nothing about myself. He patiently listens, only asking me to explain a few details when he is getting lost.

The whole experience is cathartic. Been so far away from Pando, there is no one I completely trust, but this encounter starts to lift the weight from my shoulders.

“So let me get this straight, you are the magical man my daughter talked about?”

“Yeah, though young minds are impressionable. It wasn’t too hard to create a cult following.”

“I don’t think you realize how much your legend affected everyone. My ex-wife once took my daughter to the forest and there weren’t five minutes Arya went without talking about for the first month.”

“It wasn’t all that, I just tried to show the magic to a few kids. Only one of them ever saw anything.”

“She may not have seen anything but she sensed it. No two ways about it. She believed in magic more than she believed in the moon.”

If that is true, I may have had a bigger impact on Earth than I realized. I thought I had so little effect I even tried to spread the information on the dark corners of the internet. I also monitored some more mainstream places and fueled the flames as well as I could.

Given the state we found ourselves in, this was probably a positive effort. The more magic seems real, the better those kids will be at visualizing. It will probably be a great help in their development. And not only the kind of magic that uses mana.

To run straight at a cliff and jump 20 meters to the other side will need as much belief in magic as any fireball. If they don’t believe it, they will fail, and we don’t have the time to learn from the ground up. We need to learn to swim yesterday, lest we drown.

“Ok. So, I’m more important than I realized in the village. I’m still gonna crush your hopes.”

“What you are talking about?”

I smile slightly and say.

“Look, I’m burning out. My whole dynamic on Pando was entirely different. To try and change, this much so fast is folly. I will need to take some time off.”

His face twitches in panic, but before it settles on his face he schools his expression.

“Ok, if you need it. It’s just that we need you. What else is bothering you? The combat was too much?”

“You could say that. I don’t judge anyone at all, but I’m also not sure the way we are going about it is the best course. I don’t have the answers even for my self, let alone for others. I will just take some time, to think things over.”

“Well I got to admit, I’m not sure we should have just killed the goblin chief after it was subdued. My gut just tells me something was wrong.”

“Yeah, mine too. I just don’t know if like a doctor seeing blood and gore, I should tough it out or if I was doing something wrong and my gut is just letting me know.”

At those words, he jokes with trying to smile.

“We are the righteous people, we are let by our gut. The place of contemplation, located right below the stomach.”

The words fall flat and we both stay silent. The distance to each of us and everyone else seems to increase. A feeling of loneliness settles over the air and I take a deep breath.

In an unspoken agreement between us, we change the subject entirely.

“So what do I need to know?”

“Just make sure the wood is properly dried. Everyone needed to keep making steel and Items. So give them what they need and make sure the smelter operation goes smoothly. I will be talking to a few people, so everyone knows what to do and the whole thing doesn’t fall apart. If someone comes to you and they need something without you knowing why see if it is something I might have asked them to handle.”

“I can do that. Just don’t disappear off the face of the Earth.”

“But that’s exactly my specialty. It’s almost like a perception filter.”

“The hell is a perception filter?”

Sighing I say: “Never mind.” Saing my goodbyes, I leave with a better mood. Not all was doom and gloom. I just need to make sure things are running smoothly before I can finally breathe.

---------

Passing by the forge I see everyone there. The smith is leaving later than usual. I’m not sure what he was doing there this hour, but I’m just glad I got the chance to talk to him before I leave.

“Mr. Blackwood, I wanted to talk to you. I will be needing some time off. I need to think and I will be leaving the village for that.”

“Normally I don’t like to do this, but you are welcome to join us in the smithy any time. You no longer need to show up every day.”

“Seriously? Are you gonna charge me by the silver coin for every hour I get late?”

“Nah, I do that just because of lazy people. You are not lazy. You just need some time to adjust to this new place.”

“I’m not sure what I need is adjusting.”

“Sure it is. Even if you just need to stop fighting, it is still adjusting.” At my questioning glance, he continues. “The other guys talked. I get that you don’t want to be killing willy nilly. I may not agree, but I get it. I’m not even a bloodthirsty guy myself, hence the forge.”

“Either way, thanks for understanding.”

He pulls out a silver coin and extends it to me. Taking it, I hear him saying.

“That is a bonus for the work you did on the air blower.”

“Thank you. I will be going, I need to talk with a few people.”

“Ok.”

I enter the forge properly and he heads for his home. Inside I speak with Li Wei. I leave him in charge of coordinating the efforts to make steel and making the items afterward. He seems to be the best choice. His actions from the first day have always been responsible and leave nothing to be desired. I thought about Jack, but he would not be the best choice.

Jack has a more wild streak. He works well, and his effort in actually forging items shows for what he is a better fit. He is far too disorganized to be any good for coordinating other people’s work.

Li Wei might one day become a great Blacksmith, but Jack is the one to surpass the master. He is creative and isn’t afraid to take risks.

As different as their personalities are, they have become very good friends. Their friendship might even teach the other something they need to learn.

Leaving the forge in good hands, I head for the general store. I have with me, a good amount of money. Along with the silver coin from Mr. Blackwood, I also have almost 2 silver from our night forging. My contribution to the guild is accumulating, but I won't need the money for a long time. This much money is plenty for a good while.

The face of the merchant is as slimy as always, though he has restrained some on his talk. He probably came to realize the existence of used car salesmen in our old world. He may not knot know the specifics, but imitating an archetype on which we inherently distrusting, is not the best way to increase his sales.

I grin at the thought. Browsing the store, I buy a few essential supplies. I get salted meat, rope, a backpack, a backup method to start fires. I look over everything and a few tidbits call to my attention. Dropping the pile on the counter he adds up the value in an instant.

I leave the store with pockets a silver lighter. Given that I have what I came looking for I don’t even mind the smile the merchant is left with.

My steps each lift me higher as the time comes closer.

I run around the whole city, as time goes on and I’m talking to the tenth person I realize there are far too many things depending on me, without I even have noticed. The whole village can’t have me as a linchpin. It’s not sustainable. If we were back on Earth and I had Pando to support me maybe, here I was just as frail as the next guy. If I went caput, whole sections of our economy might collapse.

Perhaps there is something about the luck aura I heard some say I have. It is not actual luck, I just pay attention. A couple of words in the right place and the right time can nudge things along significantly. Perhaps there is something to Charlie’s conclusion of me being quite important to the village.

After two hours, I’m ready. Two dozen people now know what they need. The whole sandcastle won’t collapse if I leave for five minutes.

I check the straps of the backpack are tight, so it won’t be bouncing all over the place. Even before I take the first step, I feel something is different. Even surrounded by the rest of the battle in the restorative efforts, I set out and there truly is something different.

With each step, my heart lightens and my true self starts to show-up again. Not the brief respites, but truly coming back to my roots. Amidst the forest, I’m in my element. It may not be Pando, but it will have to do.