Charlie heard the steady pounding on the door but only reluctantly paid any mind to it. He looked for his clock to check the time, however it wasn’t there. Instead he saw only bits of plastic scattered about. He flopped down and didn’t get up, but the knocking persisted like the thunder of the previous day.

‘Unlike the thunder, I guess I can at least do something about the knocking!’ Charlie reasoned and shouted, “Yes, who’s there?!” He came out a bit more harsh than he wanted to when he said it, but when he heard the familiar voice on the other side, he knew no offense had been taken.

“It’s me, Josef!” The big booming voice of the gentle giant was jovial as always, “You haven’t been answering your phone!”

“Oh… right, I have a phone!” Charlie exclaimed and put a hand on his forehead, “When was the last time I checked that? What was the point, there’d be no messages now, at least nothing new that wasn’t already so outdated it would be pointless to even read them.” He muttered so softly that Josef wouldn’t have heard it, but then it occurred to him.

‘Josef has been calling me? Wait where was it he was going… when even was that?’ Charlie asked himself both questions in rapid succession after the realization, but all that took time.

“You still there, man?” Josef asked.

Charlie gave his head a vigorous shake, “Yeah! Yeah I am! Sorry… I just drifted off, I was thinking about something…”

“Sure, so can I come in or… we’re doing this like I’m a jilted lover or something and just talk through the door, because I like you, man… but I’m pretty sure my wife would mind. Pretty sure… anyway.” Josef said and laughed through the door.

“Right your…” Charlie stopped, ‘Did he just mention his wife… when did… what the…’ Charlie clutched at his head, it felt so large all of a sudden, like it was a boulder crushing his body.

But… Charlie did his best. “Yeah ah… give me a minute.” Charlie said and sluggishly moved his legs over the side of his bed, he set his bare feet on the cool floor.

When he did, and stood up, he glanced at the window and caught a glimpse of his face, the beard was back and as untended as it had been before. Charlie touched the cactus like hairs that were largely unwashed and not even lightly trimmed. The smell from his apartment hit him full in the face a moment later as awareness came back to him…

“Oh god…” He muttered and covered his mouth and nose.

“You okay in there, guy?” Josef asked with some concern.

“Yeah just, ah… listen why don’t you wait for me downstairs, give me a minute…” Charlie groaned, ‘Where’s the time gone… why…’ He wasn’t sure what it was he was about to ask himself before Josef interrupted.

“Yeah, sure thing, Charlie.” Josef said and a moment later the very faint sound of feet on descending stairs came from under the door.

While Josef left, Charlie entered the bathroom and turned on the hot water. It began battering the white walls full blast, shooting out like water from the hoses he played with as a boy.

His hand was soaked in an instant after he stuck it inside and waited while it began to heat up. Within seconds the steam began to rise, and Charlie cast off his clothing, then stepped inside. The wet thump of his foot on the shower floor, to his surprise, didn’t hurt.

The bandage was gone as if it had never been there, and while the water beat down on his body, he sat down and moved his foot to check the injury site.

‘Healed clean.’ Charlie furrowed his brow, then moved the other foot over his other thigh and checked that one as well. ‘Also healed clean… it’s like the injury never happened.’ He snorted, but a welling concern was growing in him.

‘I know I was though… I know that happened…’ Charlie looked up from the place the injury should have been and the hot water hit him full in the face blinding him completely.

He reached for the soap and shampoo and began to lather himself up with first one, then the other, sliding himself away from the water and directly under the showerhead above him. When he was ready, he stood up and set his back to the water, leaning forward with his arm straight as a long bar, holding himself up against the far wall of the shower.

The white lather carried grime away from his body, and though it felt good on the surface, beneath all that he felt nothing but… tired. His limbs moved slower than if they’d been weighted down with lead.

‘I just want things to be okay…’ Dr. Manning thought with despair as he finally shut the water off, it was a half assed effort to clean himself. Any doubt about that was only turned to, ‘This isn’t even a quarter assed effort.’ when he looked in the mirror and saw that there were still traces of white soap lather on some parts of his body.

There just wasn’t enough energy for Charlie to both care about that and get dressed… so, he reached for a long green towel hanging on a steel rack, yanked it away and dried it off. ‘I don’t have the energy to do a decent job at that either… do I?’

He did not.

So he shambled over to his dresser, tore out some cleanish clothes and got dressed. A checkered black and white shirt, a pair of jeans that could probably have done with a wash but which didn’t stink yet, and shoes without socks.

He found Josef downstairs waiting on him as promised, the sun was out but the air was much cooler than Charlie expected. He looked up at his friend and saw that the big oaf was munching on a hotdog.

Charlie smirked and raised one eyebrow, “Really?”

Josef grinned and jerked a thumb over his shoulder to where a hotdog cart sat across the street. “Yep.” he said and shoved the last of it into his mouth and chewed.

“Ghot yough won!” Josef said with a mouthful of hotdog and tossed it a little silver paper wrapped hotdog over to him.

Charlie’s stomach growled like an angry dog, so he immediately tore open the paper and yanked it out. Chili, with mustard. ‘My favorite.’ He thought, It was warm in his hand, but not for long as he devoured it in four quick bites.

“So, what’s up?” Josef asked, and Charlie slowed his chewing down as much as possible, unsure of what to say.

They stood there, awkward, uncomfortable, and unable or unwilling to look up into the concerned eyes of, ‘Wow, he’s the last friend I’ve got… huh…’ Charlie realized, but that made it no easier to look up at him. Instead, Charlie scanned the street, people were going about their daily business, mostly wearing light coats, and there were more cars than usual.

“Ah, not much so… where’ve you been?” Charlie asked.

“Getting married, don’t you remember?” Josef asked, “I invited you to the wedding, but you didn’t show, after my dad passed away I… well it was hard.”

“Wait, your father died… when was this?!” Charlie exclaimed in sudden shock.

Josef stared down at him, “Dude… that was months ago… what’s going on, I know I told you about this… I went to his funeral, met a girl and… look a lot’s been happening. I sent you an invitation to the wedding, I tried calling you… I even sent Isaac over to check on you, but you never answered. Hell the landlord got involved but when they went in, you weren’t there.”

Charlie put a hand on his own forehead and sucked in air through his teeth. “God damn… I don’t know… I honestly don’t…” Charlie replied, “I’m sorry… really man… Josef… I’m so sorry…”

“Not going to lie to you, Charlie… it stung, you not even coming to the wedding. We’ve been friends for how long? I know you’ve got your own stuff going on but…” Josef paused and put a massive, beefy hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “Look I’m always here for you, just like you were there for me when my mom died, it's just… I could have really used your help when dad passed. And not having you around to make a toast as my best man, or give one of your speeches…”

Charlie looked down at the concrete beneath their feet, “Yeah… nobody gives a speech like me… I’m… I’m sorry. Really.”

“Yeah well… look… water under the bridge, right?” Josef said, forcing a smile and letting his hand fall away, “The wedding has come and gone, the honeymoon is over and we’re back to work again, speaking of… you… you going back to work?”

Charlie felt a rush of gratitude at the change of subject, and went to lean against the red brick side of the apartment building. “I can’t. Even if I could, would they want me? I walked off the job, walked away from everything, stopped taking calls, haven’t spoken to any of them since then.”

But privately, Charlie had questions. ‘Who is she, how did you meet, where did you marry, when… what… who… where… why…’ All the questions… all the questions went through his mind, but he lacked the will to ask them, ashamed as he was of what he’d missed already. So he let Josef turn the subject onto him instead.

“Oh come on, ‘Dr. Manning’, you know better.” Josef leaned on the wall with one thick arm straight as a bar and crossed one foot over the other.

“I do?” Charlie asked and spat with disgust onto the sidewalk. “Would you hire back somebody who walked off the job and just never came back?”

“For servicing the hotdog cooker or the register or stocking the bread and freezer, hell no. But how many people do you think are out there who literally wrote the book on theoretical physics and its practical applications for electron spin reversal driven communications? We’re on the verge of a networked quantum computing revolution thanks to you.” Josef pointed out, more than a little pride in his voice. “You could walk off the job a hundred times and walk right back in like you owned the place… a dozen times over.”

“Yeah, maybe… but I just… I’m not ready.” Charlie admitted, his eyes suddenly wet.

Josef’s smile ran away from his face, “Charlie… for god’s sake man, what happened… please? Tell me. None of this is like you, you quit running, you quit work, your formerly neat apartment became a biohazard, you’ve been up and down in and out, cut off all your friends and family except me, and even with me ‘I’ have to come to you. If I didn’t, would we even be speaking now?”

“No… no we probably… sorry, no, we definitely wouldn’t…” Charlie said, and he saw the square jawed head of his friend flinch at the admission.

“I’m sorry, it’s not about you… this is all me…” Charlie trailed off.

“Come on, Charlie… talk to me.” Josef urged.

“You really want to know?” Charlie asked, finally meeting the soft eyes of his old friend again, though Josef’s face was blurred through shimmering pools Charlie couldn’t really let go of yet.

“Yeah, course. Whatever it is is really bothering you, you’ve been acting strange, not taking care of yourself, asking oddball questions, I’d be the odd one if I didn’t want to know what was going on. You can tell me.” Josef answered, and Charlie gave a series of tiny nods in rapid succession.

“Alright… alright I’ll tell you.” Charlie answered. ‘I owe him that much, I do… he’s married, he might want kids… I can’t let him make a decision like that without knowing the truth… and if he hates me, if he turns on me… for fucks sake if he kills me over it… well that last part might even be a favor. But no… not now… just one more day…’

“So…?” Josef asked.

“I’ll tell you what… let me… meet your wife, you know, let me apologize for not coming to the wedding. I’m sure she had some choice words about me when I didn’t show.” Charlie gave a sardonic grin up at his friend.

Josef looked away and rubbed the back of his head, “Yeah no… no she said nothing bad about you for not showing, nothing at all… she was just fine with it…”

“You’re a bad liar, Josef.” Charlie said with a dry tone and steady look.

“Fine, she wasn’t happy about it and she did say some unpleasant things, alright, happy now, enough with the interrogation.” Josef said with an exaggerated sigh. “Come to dinner, in fact, I’ll do one better, I’ll ‘collect you’ tomorrow. Get yourself cleaned up and join me at my apartment. Ernestine will be happy you’re finally coming to apologize. Bring a bottle of good wine, and we’ll call it even. Like the old days, apologize with booze.”

“Yeah… yeah I will, I’ll even do one better and buy it from your shop.” Charlie promised with a growing smile at Josef’s infectious enthusiasm.

“Charlie… man… I said good wine!” Josef said with a laugh, which Charlie shared, feeling pretty good about that, and he continued feeling pretty good about that for the rest of the day, even after he and Josef parted company.