Hey me Krik. Me write make cronicol of Tribe. Or it’s clonicol? No important.

Krik write so that future goblins read and know how tribe come to great happy land. Trich say write bad. That if you write words jump out of head and go on the write and your head empty. Old goblins always say that and all tribe not write. They all stupidheads. Krik smart. Krik learn write from stupid human and then eat human. Krik write and so Krik is remembered. Also human good. Very crunchy.

Krik not sure when this is. In the other ugly place it was the time when the ugly eye in the sky burns bad, after the time with all the scratchy things from the flowers that make your eyes all scratchy. But many things to cut and eat!

So little after that! Krik clear!

A little after the time when the sky burns bad gray angry fire come to us. Gray angry fire great goblin. Great power. Big staff. “Come with me” he say. “I bring you to big nice land, with much food and much to burn and much to eat!”

Goblins want to say yes, but Boss Morglum say no, say that goblins good in old cavern. Gray angry fire say again. “Come! Come! Much food for you! Just come and you get it!”

Boss Morglum say no again. Gray angry fire get angry, screech and call! Terrible words! Fire answer his call and burn Boss Morglum. Funny funny! Gray angry fire new chief and all goblins follow.

Krik first follow of course. He say that to all goblins and all goblins listen. Only Boss Morglum say no and he get burn. Funny funny!

Gray angry fire lead goblins and Krik is first after him. He lead through forest. Goblins never pass through forest. Great power keep them out. But gray angry fire power bigger. Trees can’t stop and he pass. He enter burrow of stupid little men. Stupid little men! They always prank poor goblins! Throw branch over head and trip! Steal things that poor goblin steal from men! Not fair! Poor goblins get angry and jump, but stupid little men fly and hide and poor goblins can’t reach!

But not with gray angry fire, kekekeke! Power too strong for stupid little men. He break burrow and goblins follow. Goblins break burrow and put stupid little men in cages, together with stupid little lights. They drag down ugly tree and make nice nice fire. They sing and dance and be happy. And all goblins say to Krik how smart he is to be gray angry fire’s second. Krik smart!

Then gray angry fire bring goblins out of forest and to stupid human farm. Stupid humans! They make tasty food but give nothing to goblins! So goblins steal. But just because they hungry! And if stupid humans make tasty food and then let goblins steal, then they stupid and deserve no tasty food! Goblins smart! They take and eat!

Gray angry fire lead and stupid goblins already forget the good land and the burning and the cutting and the eating. They think gray angry fire bring them to break human farm. Stupid goblins! Just Krik remember! And it’s totally not stupid Trick that say to him to remember! No! He remember already! Trich stupidhead!

(unreadable scrabblings)

…magic door! Scary stuff! But Krik don’t scared! He never scared! Trich is!

Gray angry fire say: “go through door! Go or i roast you!” He scary! So scary that even brave Krik scared!

But goblin don’t need be scared. They pass door. Whush whosh! Strange sounds! Strange things! Puuff! Whuuush! And ta-dan! They arrive to happy happy land! No ugly eye! No ugly great blue with the scary things that fly! Nice, big cavern, with a lot of things to eat! Goblis happy! Goblins make great feast! Goblin say to Krik he smart!

Now goblins sleep. Only Krik awake. He write hidden! Stupid tribe angry if see! But when he finish he show and tribe happy. They all praise Krik and call him smart! Maybe Krik even chief! Ehm, after gray angry fire of course. Krik never take his place…

Now Krik go! Still tasty soup to lick from floor! Good good! Tasty tasty! Krik like happy place very very much!

(unreadable scrabblings)

Krik smart! Krik smart! Krik smart!

Today, Krik can say because he feel with head, gray angry fire come to tribe. He watch eyes and teeth and skin. Dunno why. Maybe he eat fatter goblins? Eeeeek! Me no fat. Me big bones! Me swear!

Gray angry fire ask goblins if goblins okay - Boss Morglum never ask that. Sniff sniff -. He watch feast of goblins and bonk Snotch’s head. Very funny! Then he bonk everybody’s heads. Funny until he get to poor Krik’s head. Ouch! Ehm, but gray angry fire can beat Krik’s head when he want. Krik no problem with that! Kekeke-ke…

(drool stains)

Stupid Trich find work! She ruin! Must hide!

(drool and grease stains)

Goblins happy! Krik happy!

Today Gray angry fire bring much tasty food and toys for goblins. Goblins have feast and dance and sing!

Krik never eat so much. Stupid Boss Morglum! He always eat all food. Not gray angry fire! He good and give goblins lot of food and fun!

Gray angry fire do the same of the other day. He watch eyes and teeth and skin and ask how you are.

…maybe Krik better eat less.

(scribble vaguely readable as “Krk stooopid”)

Ack, cursed Trich! She find hiding hole of work and ruin it! Me scratch her face later! Kckrkrk…

Gray angry fire not come today. Goblins sleep and play. No nasty eye in the sky! Yu-uh! Cavern cool and nice.

Krik feel strong! Me try to move big wood thing and Me move! Me strong! Me happy and so me move all wood things of the cavern. Me stronger than ever!

Other goblins see and do the same. They copy! I say that and push and scratch. Not copy! Goblin Furk punch me! I punch and all goblins fight! Big fight! Everything broken! Funny funny! When goblins see, they forget beating and break everything that isn’t broken. I break with them and it‘s a lot of fun!

But, now me think. Maybe gray angry fire angry?

(Scared scribbles)

Gray angry fire angry. More angry. He bonk every goblin head. Poor Krik also! Ack, all Furk’s fault! Me scratch face later! Also, me still need to scratch Trich’s face. Me go now

(The rest of the page is ripped out)

Bad Trich! Bad Trich! She scratch me back and rip out page! Ack!

Today gray angry fire not come. Maybe still angry? Ack! Stupid Furk! Me go scratch now!

(scribbles)

Gray angry fire gone. He not return. Goblins start to get bored.

Also, Krik not too well. Urk. Maybe eat too much?

(bored scribbles)

Boooooring! Booooooooooooooooooooooooooring!

(more scribbles)

Exciting!

Gray angry fire no return, but Trich find door open! Krik think better not go but then me decide me too bored. Not because Trich say she scratch my face, no no!

But anyway, we go and find more caverns, filled with lots and lots of funny things to break! We have a lot of fun but then we remember other goblins bored. We call them and all together we break lots and lots of things and have lots and lots of fun!

We have fun until ugly stone men come. They push poor goblins away from fun! One grab poor Krik and throw me in cavern! Ack! Poor Krik! And poor goblins, all picked and thrown!

But we had lots and lots of fun! Goblins still happy!

Krik curious though. What are others caverns? And stone men?

(doodle representing a goblin stabbing another).

Gray angry fire not come. Stone men bring goblins funny toys and tasty food. Maybe they eat him? Krik hope not! Me want eat him! Get powers!

Please be well gray angry fire!

(drool, food and unknown stains).

Big day today!

Gray angry fire return and not eaten! He not angry. He smile. He tell us that he need two “as-si-st-ant” to make important things. Stupid Trich ask what important things mean. Stupid! It mean that they important! And goblins that do important things are important goblins!

Me say i want do important things and gray angry fire smile and say yes. Make me assistant! Me happy!

Stupid Trich say she want too. She copy! Gray angry fire smile say yes to her too. Ack! Me angry but cannot say no.

Gray angry fire gesture and big stone men enter cavern. He make them walk and stop. All goblins impressed. He control stone men? Greatest magic! Greater than old goblin chief!

He put stone men to the door and make us follow. He bring us into another cavern. Lots and lots of shiny stuff! I am excited. Even Trich is!

We think that he bring us there to break stuff, and so we begin right away! Break break break! Shiny stuff everywhere!

The gray angry fire watch us and say nothing. Only his cheek move a tiny bit up and down. We understand we good! So we break some more!

The gray angry fire come to us. He say “do this” but he has strange voice. I remember old frog. But that not tremble like he do. He say “do this” and show. He make a wood thingy spin. Look easy!

We try and it spin! Me spin faster though! Trich envious so she break it. Kekekeke!

Gray angry fire’s cheek twitch again and he say with strange voice that we good. Then he send stone men to bring us back. We return happy happy!

Now Krik write. Me assistant! Can me get powers? Me burn all the woods and all the stupid little men! Kekekeke!

(Scribbles and doodles, all pertaining to wood on fire, little winged humanoids on fire, humans on fire and fire in general).

Great news! The gray angry fire call me to be more assistant! Ah, and also Trich, but she no important.

Gray angry fire say great ex-pe-ri-ment today. Powers for Krik?

Trich call me. I run but not because she call but because me can’t wait!

The two goblins entered the laboratory almost hopping by how excited they were. So much that neither paid much notice at the four stone men escorting them the way one would escort a particularly nasty kind of bomb ready to explode at a moment’s notice.

Gorren waited for them atop a platform overlooking two large cauldrons. Strange, bubbling substance filled both, burbling and chattering at the fistfuls of ingredients the gray goblin threw in it. Two long-armed golems stirred the mixture with great ladles, their movements awkward and jerky.

“Ah, my bold assistants!” Gorren cheerfully said. His smile was the smile of an indulgent father, happy to see his mischievious but always beautiful children. Of course, the saw teeth would have put bad feelings in anybody else, but the goblins, used to those kind of smiles, only admired the dental harm possibilities of their host.

“Come! Come! We have much work to do!” Gorren gestured happily.

The goblins didn’t need to be asked twice. Exchanging excitated glances, they sprinted out of the circle of golems and ran immediately to work.

Crash!

A human-sized alembic finished its days in pieces on the floor, with two goblins happily hopping between them.

Gorren’s cheek twitched exactly one time. He stopped taking fistfuls from the pouch and just dumped everything in the cauldrons.

“Ohoh, always so mischievious.” He good-naturedly chuckled, walking down from his podium.

The two goblins jumped to attention, grins so wide that their faces seemed ready to split open. Krik wanted to make a better impression, so he elbowed Trich. Trich got angry and elbowed back. From there, shierks flew and hands ran to grab ears.

Gorren watched the little melee with a blissful smile.

“Now.” The goblins freezed the moment he started to speak, hands still grabbing the appendages they were trying to rip out. They abruptly separated and went back to saluting, smiling widely like nothing had just happened.

“You are probably wondering what we will do today.”

Gorren leisurely walked to a large chalkboard. Taking a sponge from a bucket, he erased a bunch of complicated-looking scribbles. He made to grab a piece of chalk, but then he shook his head with a indulgent smile and just turned to address them.

“You see.” He began, folding his hands before his chest. “Mana make up all that is material, but the configurations it takes are different for each type of existence.”

Krik narrowed his eyes at the sudden lecture. Ma-na? What was that? He sneaked a glance toward Trich and got a surge of pride at seeing her scratching her ear. Ah! She couldn’t understand! Fool!

Gorren seemed to be ignoring their plights. He started to walk back and forth, looking like he was talking to himself. “If it’s a rock, the Mana will take a thick, static form. If it’s water, its form will be wide, scattered. If it’s a gas, even more, to the point that we can observe different nuclei of it.”

Krik zoned out. Trich started exploring her nostrils.

“Each state has precise qualities and attributes. Changing them, we can change the state without having to intervene over the state itself. This is the fundamental basis of all alchemy.” Gorren stopped, brushing his stubby beard with a satisfied smile. “But life. Ah, life. That is where things become tricky. In a living being, Mana flow around, and it does so in a such a complicated way that you may as well call it dazzling.” He snorted. “Alchemists of antiquity, morons all, tried to replicate it. They thought that it was enough to cross the Mana flows in the same patterns to create a living, breathing being. Fools. What about the initial spark, or the selfperpetuating force,. How could…” He noticed that one of his assistants was dozing off and the other was more busy to search for gold in his nose than to listen.

Another twitch.

“But enough of this obviosly unconsequential matter.” He punctuated the last two words with a clap of his hands that made Krik jump awake with a squeak and Trich almost kill herself by stabbing too deep with her finger.

“What it matters now” He resumed, blissful smile back in place. “Is that life cannot be created by mortal means, but can its be modified? Yes, it can.” He brushed his beard, watching the two goblins with a smile. “Humans? Possible, but difficult and the results are too unpredictable. Elves? Too weak to sustain the procedure. Dwarves? Might as well try to make a stone sing! Orcs? Already better. Goblins? Perfect…”

At that point, anyone with something in their noggins would have started to sweat rocks. The two goblins were too busy with other concerns, Krik trying to catch up from his impromptu nap and Trich trying to get a booger stuck too deep out.

“Goblins’ Mana structure is unstable.” Gorren graciously explained. “If they are exposed to sufficient Mana influence for a protracted lenght of time, their strutture start to lose cohesion. It become malleable and can be rearranged. If left to its own devices, the results can vary from liquefation to higher ability to mold Mana, meaning, magic. But if the process is directed, satisfying results can be obtained. With sufficient skill, of course, but thankfully the process has been used for many centuries now. It has been perfected and can be easily replicated.” He nodded. “That said, Krik could you please pass me that ladle over there?”

The goblin, finally hearing something he could understand, jumped to attention. Locating said ladle, a big heavy thing leaning on the wall, he scampered to grab it.

Trich didn’t appreciate the lack of attention and scampered to be the one to grab it. The two goblins smacked against each other, falling into a shrieking tangle of limbs.

Crash! A cabinet joined the smashed alembic, books flying everywhere.

“You know what? I changed my mind. Bring me that other one, the bigger one.”

A confused mess and many shrieks and scratches later, Gorren held a padle the size of a small oar in his hands. He weighted the thing with visible satisfacation, with the two goblins beaming at that.

“Well done, you two. Very well done. You will keep doing very well, i am sure.”

The two goblins beamed some more, then threw grimaces at each other.

“Now, if you only look that way.” Gorren pointed behind them.

Curious and eager, the goblins obeyed.

Sdeng! Sdeng!

Two precise strikes and both were down, knocked out cold.

“Stupid little…” Gorren grumbled, smile gone. At his gesture, two golems picked up the goblins and tied them.

“You’re lucky i need you or i swear to god, i’d rip out your spleen… better use to…” He kept grumbling while two other golems pushed two small winches forward. The golems tied each goblin to one, upside down.

“Half a Kingdom’s worth, gone because these stupid little creatures had to… stupid… fucking… i swear to god…”

The winches were pushed forward, until the goblins dangled each over a bubbling cauldron.

Gorren threw them a hard look, hands clapsed on his sides. “And try to come back as something more useful.” He reprimanded, and gave the order. The golems let go of the winches’ levers. The goblins disappeared inside the cauldrons with a shlurping sound.

Gorren made the last checks, then left the golems to guard the process and strode out of the laboratory.

In another room, this one also equipped to be a trasmutation laboratory, another, more pleasant, experiment waited for him.

The greater part of the chamber was taken by a large cage, the walls made by reinforced glass. Inside, a swarm of lights buzzed. They did so quietly, though. Each was a fist-sized globe of gentle, silvery light. They revolved around each other with a precision almost geometrical, forming into true constellations of little stars.

Gorren nodded, deeply satisfied. Through careful manipulation and infusions, the fireflies of the sprites had became will’o wisps.

A mystical creature of the swamps, a wisp could carry a Mana charge and have simple commands engraved in its Mana structure.

Gorren inteded to use the Wisps as the basic maintenance of his compound. He would set a Mana Deposit for them, and train them to charge over it and then patrol the compound. If they found batteries that needed recharging, they would remedy with their Mana. Then, they would return to the Deposit and start anew. They would completely erase the need for him to do that type of maintenance.

Gorren took a moment to enumerate the thousands of reasons why those little things were more useful than goblins, before nodding gruffly.

He stomped out of the laboratory. There was still work to be done.