"Glaarh blaarh!"

"Hiiih~! If you grab Celica down there~, you gotta be more gentle~ <3!"

What the hell is she doing? My self-proclaimed big sister got mobbed by mobs, but her reaction is a bit off.

"They are just dumb golems, stop playing around with them already. Seriously, just stop."

This isn't going well... I'm still running in circles, followed by a dozen unrelenting abominations, and most of my clothing apart from the breastplate is torn or burnt away. ...I really should start calling my character class 'sword dancer' or 'acrobat'. That'd be way more dignified than 'half-naked fleeing loser'.

As for Celica, instead of ripping the enemy into shreds as usual, she stays down. A demon's strength has its limits too. I can pretty much see only her leg sticking out from the writhing mass right now. Is this a slap-stick comedy or a hentai now?

"Ummm... Big sis may~ have-- hiiiii~! --underestimated them~ a teensy weensy bit~..."

"You don't say."

"'Tis a merely-- AhhhhHH! --a case of bad synergy~, nothing more~!"

Couple of golems get punched off by her, but she stays pinned down. I don't feel much urgency here though, courtesy of her nonchalant answers and weird moans.

"Just blast them with hellfire already."

"Ummmmmm... That's~..."

"...Do I want to hear it?"

"Well~, Celica may have used~ it a tad too much on-- huu~haaah~! --the way here~. Tehe~!"

"Goddammit Celica."

Ais is very disappointed in you, you know. I may be running around in circles, almost naked, but at least I didn't get stun-locked the moment I entered battle.

But yeah, I guess I need to help this idiot. Again. The next free moment in the flow of battle I kick the flesh golem holding Celica's left leg down, triggering another wet burst of innards.

"I. Fucking. Hate. Flesh golems."

Grabbing her free leg I start dragging her out of the puppy pile of monsters. Her clothing was shredded, but she herself doesn't look too much worse for the wear, actually. Is this some advanced succubus technique that lets you minimize groping damage!?

"Tehe~... Celica messed up a bit~. Let's try this again~!"

With my help she manages to free herself of the enemy. Following my lead now both of us do the stupid running around to keep out of the monster's reach and to make targeting spells at us as difficult as possible.

If it weren't for the mages, Celica could fly out of the monster swarm's reach, but there really isn't room for her to avoid their magic if she does that. Despite being battle maniac and air-head, she probably understood that they are pretty competent at magic when she got captured.

I attempt to herd the enemy at all times between us and the increasingly annoyed mages, and with Celica's attack power we begin to wear down the monsters one by one. I think I can soon find the time to try casting magic of my own too - if I managed anything approximating a fireball, that would sure be helpful in cleaning up the stubborn monsters.

"And stay down~! That's how you do it~!"

"Don't get cocky. After being captured and then mobbed you have no right."

"Owwww~. Ais~ doesn't look up to big sis anymore~!?"

"I never did."

"Boooo~! Ais' words hurt~ more than a thousand monsters~!"

The flesh mask dude is reaching his breaking point...

"AaAAAAAH! Why won't they ever shut up!? Just die already!!!"

"Don't get... heated..."

"Easy for you to say! This is ridiculous... I'm beginning to see why Astelia hated succubi!"

"Taunting is but... one of many ways of... demons..."

Oh, good idea, Sleepy. Let's launch a psychological attack right now. I point a finger at the flesh mask guy while running.

"Oi! That book of yours..."

"What? What'd you do with it!?"

"...actually, I wrote that!"

He stops trying to cast magic and looks at me nonplussed. Celica glances at me questioningly too, but doesn't interfere.

"Eh!?"

"You see--"

Dodge, roll. I avoid undead's slobbery bite acrobatically.

"--at that time I was trying really hard to look like an intellectual, and for that purpose I wrote that book."

"What are you getting at?!"

"She must be... lying to get to you... Don't listen...!"

"The truth is, that book is an embarrassment. It's all just ravings of an edgelord... of a fool. And you are double the fool for believing in it!"

Even though they're shadowed by his mask, I can see the veins burst in his eyes.

"SHUT UP! SHUT UUUP! The book tells the truth about life!! I won't stand for this mockery any longer!!! DIE!"

He freaks out and launches a big fireball at me while raving and spilling spittle. Thanks to successful timing, a whole group of his minions get in the way instead and are incinerated. Just as planned. Mwahahah!

"Friendly fire~!"

"NOOOOOOO! I SPENT WEEKS MAKING THEM!"

Now that he helpfully cleared the way, he's out in the open. Chance!

"YOU--"

Slaaash. We'll never know what he was going to say about me. With supernatural speed I closed in and summarily cut his head off. I may not have looked my best so far, but with the skill enchantment and thousands of years of experience (some of which I actually recall) I'm not to be taken lightly by any squishy mages.

The mask stays on as his head flies in beautiful parabola arc, hitting one of the ritual stones with a sick wet sound. But I can't stop to gawk at the rolling head.

As a follow up to my attack I roll to the side, anticipating the necromancer's counter-attack. He is still closely guarded by dozen minions, but I'm certain he didn't merely wait for his turn while I killed off the flesh mask.

But no magic blasts at me, and as I finish my fancy move and rise up to face him...

"Celica caught one~!"

"Let me go... traitors..."

"Nu-uh~!"

The undead guardians of his lie around in pathetically fidgeting piles of bones and flesh, obviously dispatched by Celica. I estimated him to be the most dangerous one of the mages, but here Celica is lifting him from his collar like an asthmatic kitten. How'd she do all that so fast...?

Well, I guess Celica is at her most reliable when it comes to non-complicated things like battle or fighting or... well, pretty much just that.

"That's great, Celica."

"Tehe~."

With that the battle is practically over. There are still flesh golems left, but with the mages dead or caught by Celica I can slay the remaining ones without having to watch my back, and soon none of them are in condition to attack.

I go talk with Celica, who keeps prodding the necromancer with her finger. They somehow look like a huge teddy bear held by a child.

"So, I take it you want to keep him?"

"Yup~."

Maybe Celica likes these scrawny mage types? Her previous pet was one too, I recall.

"Whatever. Feel free to do whatever you want with him then."

While I suppose from certain point of view this is more of a reward than punishment for him, it's the results that matter. After Celica has been through with him, he'll be in no shape to cause trouble, after all.

As an afterthought I add...

"Oh, and the more extreme, the better."

"Don't mind if I do~! Cya later~, Ais!"

"Such a... disgrace..."

"Hihihih~, we're gonna have Ais-approved fun~~!"

She drags him away, giggling sinisterly while the lethargic necromancer doesn't even attempt to struggle anymore.