I didn't realize my fabulous silvery dire wolf pelt would shrink. Is it supposed to shrink? Did the armorer pocket the rest of my precious trophy? Or is he a closet pervert who finds excuses to make skimpy armors? Whatever the reason, the armor is much less covering than I anticipated.

Except for the material, it's more like a shoulderless dress than an armor, skirting barely down to my knees and leaving lots of thigh bare on the sides. How does this even stay on without, you know, slipping? Oh, there are straps and belts for that. I can almost see the stats +3 charisma, -3 armor class hovering over it. Sigh. Fine, it's not like I've died when fighting in various states of undress, so an armor that is bit lacking is actually an improvement. And on the back it covers just enough for me to hide my wings, so it's usable as a disguise.

I guess could go and buy the heaviest, bulkiest armor there is. I got nice amount of money by selling the clothes I 'permanently borrowed' from the mansion after all. But this was more about getting my petty revenge on the dire wolf who gave me traumatic memories than any pragmatic reasoning. I'm absolutely going to wear this ragged, dammit.

As I step out of the workshop wearing my brand new armor of titillation, I can hear the wanna-be hero lord's servants crying around searching for beautiful lady 'Darth Vader'. Hah. That's my cue for exit. As I look around for her, Celica finds me with her usual good timing. The charmed mage still follows in her wake as well.

"Hullo~ Ais!"

"Celica. Excellent timing."

"What's up~?"

"Sky."

"... Ais~. Please never~ make a joke again."

With my business done we make our way out of the town. There's one final encounter though. While we're walking on deserted outskirts of the town, we're confronted by pair of sneering idiots.

"My my, it's our coo again."

"And she's got girl friend with her too! How nice of her."

It's the thug duo from yesterday. The mage, whose name was O-something, appears to be heartened by his mad adoration for Celica, and steps forward to confront them.

"S-sod off you w-wankers! You don't want to m-me-mess with a wizard!"

Your sentiment is appreciated, but you'd be more impressive without the stutter.

"Ohohoh. It wears a skirt, but it thinks it has balls?"

"It's a-a-a robe, not skirt!"

"HUUUH? IT TALKS BACK TO ME?!"

"Eeep!"

He scurries away the instant the thug growls at him. Well, at least you tried. It's my turn now. I hit the butt-end of my swordstaff on the stony road, making a loud thunk sound, and speak with lowered voice.

"The wanna-be hero isn't here to save you today."

"EHH? Hahaha! That's our line!"

"Confused much, coo?"

So, they still won't take a hint? I turn to Celica, who has been watching the unfolding events with grin plastered on her face.

"Celica, do whatever you want with the one on the left."

"Okay~!"

"HEY! Stupid bitches, don't you ignore us!"

I guess I need to make a point first. I ready a kick aimed at the shin of the slimy haired thug on right. He doesn't even try to defend as I make my move.

"Oooh! Feisty, are you? Heheh, that's how I like 'em--"

The kick from my travelling boot hits his leg with a sick *crack*.

"--IAAAARGHAGAHAA! WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Booted by strength of demon, his foot gets bent into an unhealthy angle. He whimpers on the ground, while the remaining thug looks at this with disbelief. Celica approaches him, grinning madly. I'm not sure what she'll do, but whatever it will be is fine with me. How many people have these thugs molested before? Removing them is the good deed of the day as far as I'm concerned. ... Yes, strictly speaking I'm not supposed to do good deeds as a demon, but I think murderizing thugs is allowed.

"You-- you-- You have magical gear?! By the hells! You are adventurers?!"

He finally smartens up a bit, but his conclusions are completely wrong.

"Hehe~, hells indeed~."

"We are no adventurers. In fact, we are--"

"CEASE THIS AT ONCE!"

Tch. A clear voice halts the impending doom of the ruffians: their guardian angel has interrupted me again. I was playing around with the thugs for too long, and now the lord with hero-aspirations has found me.

"Not him too?! Run away! Every man for himself!"

"Oi! Don't leave me you asshole!"

They have had enough, and limp and run away with all haste. Neither I nor Celica pursuit them. I entertain the idea of throwing my swordstaff at the closer one's back, but decide not to bother. I guess they avoided death again. When they get out of sight, he approaches me.

"Lady Vader, why didst thou forsake me? Did I unknowingly wrong thee?"

"..."

"Those... Those were the same ruffians again! You associate with people like that? But why!?"

"I don't--"

"Have I made the same mistake again? Forgivest me if I err, but thou art another... ahem... 'lady of the night', aren't thee?"

Eh? Surely he saw what I did to the thug? Yet he still thinks I'm a prostitute? Okay, I have to ask again: just what the hell is going on with the prostitutes of this town?! They sound scary! Anyway, everyone, stop calling me a whore already! Although, I with my scant armor and Celica in her wrapped top that defies gravity every moment it stays on sort of enforce that notion...

"Absolutely not!"

"Yeah~! Stop underestimating us~, silly~. We're~ bona fide succ--"

"Celica. Let me."

"... Fiiine~."

I stop Celica from blurting out what we are prematurely. I don't really hate this man or anything. In fact his innocent pomposity and lack of sense have amused me mildly. But he seems to have fallen for me far too much, so I need to make it very, very clear that it's a bad idea. And so, I have a gift for him. I release my wings.

"*Gasp!*"

He's for once wordless. While this clearly isn't the first time he's fallen for a less than stellar citizen, demon should be new even for him. He looks as if he's standing in rain, letting a bouquet of roses fall. ... Crushing him like this was necessary. Now he can move on instead of moping about a vague rejection or my disappearance. Am I not nice?

"I-- I-- ... No. There is something about thee... something that makes me able to say this: I care not if we are a man and a denizen of the underworld... for love... love CONQUERS ALL!"

What?! No, no no no don't go there you idiot! Didn't you say just yesterday that consorting with demons is highly immoral? Don't just change your mind like that!

I wink a message at Celica: Help me!

Celica: I'm gonna toss a ball of hellfire, tehe~!

Me: No! Be discreet.

Celica: Fiiiine~.

Celica suddenly pulls me closer and drags my face lower (I'm taller than her). And then she proceeds to invade my mouth with a thorough kiss, volume of which would make a Saint Bernard dog envious.

"Mmmhp!?"

This isn't what I asked you to do! ... It works though. Lord Jawdrop's moral circuits have been overloaded, and the line between 'to woo' and 'to not to woo' has been crossed. Love doesn't conquer lesbian slut demons then. He turns around with face five years older than it was, and leaves without saying anything.

"Pheeh! ... Celicaaa...!"

"You're welcome~, tehe~!"

"... Be glad he was actually turned off by that."

By the way, Celica's pet mage was watching the events from behind a rock, and won't shut up about how hot our kiss was as we carry on.